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Don’t Let These 4 Things Hold You Back From Realizing Your Dreams

Don’t Let These 4 Things Hold You Back From Realizing Your Dreams

Don’t let these things hold you back from realizing your dreams   Life is tough and we are all on different paths to success and happiness. I’m not going to go into what the meaning of what life is, or anything like that, that’s for you to argue in your own time. However, whatever the meaning is, sure enough you can guarantee that it’s going to be one hell of a journey and one thing that is certain, there will always be changes.   Whether your goal is to join NASA, find fame or to enjoy a quiet country life, there will always be obstacles that try us, people that deter us and circumstances that “aren’t the right time”. The key to overcoming these obstacles is firstly to recognize the things that are holding you back because only then can you possibly try to overcome them.

Don’t let these things hold you back from realizing your dreams…

The fear of failure

From a young age, we seem to demonstrate a fear of failure or embarrassment, which growing up might have stopped us from asking for that date or joining the sports club, but as we get older this innate fear can stop us from more serious desires such as perusing our dream career or having the courage to do what makes us happy. But if you don’t try you will never know.

Always think, what’s the worst that can happen? Sit down, make a calculated risk and go for it! Don’t fear rejection, failure or making mistakes. Fear being stagnant and standing still instead!

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”  – Jack Canfield

Listening to negative voices

From the little voice inside your head that tells you ‘you’re not good enough’, to listening to negative apprehension from concerned friends and family, these little voices can chip away at your self confidence and your attitude that you can do this. In the short term these negative voices might cause annoyance and irritation but in the long term they could fatally erode your confidence.

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If it’s you that is being the negative voice, eliminate the use of words such as ‘should’ ‘can’t’ or ‘I wish…’ from your vocabulary.

For example,

“I should have a monthly income from an employer but I want to be self employed”

Or

“I can’t possibly move abroad…”

Or

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“I wish I had the time to peruse my hobby and turn it into my career but…”

 

Someone has to be honest with you and I am telling you now, these are just excuses for inaction and not real legitimate hurdles!

If it is friends, families and acquaintances that are advising you not to follow your dream and are unknowingly holding you back, then don’t share your thoughts with them. That simple. Yes it is great to have feedback, but only if it is going to develop and progress you, not erode your confidence. Ask the experts for advice and sensible suggestions, not concerned friends that don’t know all the facts.

Striving for perfection

I got news for you, big news…life is never going to be “perfect” no matter how hard you try, so stop stressing to make it 100 percent perfect when you’d be just as happy with 90 percent perfection, which is also easier to obtain and maintain. I am not saying you shouldn’t try, push or progress but don’t do it to the detriment of your success and sanity.

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good” is something my boss used to always tell me in my first job after university, where my desperation for perfection was actually creating a negative effect, as my anxiety to be perfect had the reversed desired outcome.

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Always striving for perfection will cripple your ability to reach your goals and be happy doing it.

Your past haunting you

Everyone has a past which means everyone has baggage, fears and preconceptions. Making mistakes and learning from experiences is vital for a fulfilling life but don’t let the past haunt you. Just because it happened in the past, doesn’t mean it will necessarily happen again.

For example,

If you have been burnt with the failure of a start up business in the past, it doesn’t mean it will happen again, so don’t let it be a ghost of your future success.

Or perhaps you have experienced a negative emotional relationship in a past? Just because someone else was a dirt bag, doesn’t mean your future partner will be too.

 

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Life is for making mistakes and having fun whilst learning.

Be brave.

Follow your dreams.

Featured photo credit: http://picjumbo.com/ via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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