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Don’t Let These 4 Things Hold You Back From Realizing Your Dreams

Don’t Let These 4 Things Hold You Back From Realizing Your Dreams

Don’t let these things hold you back from realizing your dreams   Life is tough and we are all on different paths to success and happiness. I’m not going to go into what the meaning of what life is, or anything like that, that’s for you to argue in your own time. However, whatever the meaning is, sure enough you can guarantee that it’s going to be one hell of a journey and one thing that is certain, there will always be changes.   Whether your goal is to join NASA, find fame or to enjoy a quiet country life, there will always be obstacles that try us, people that deter us and circumstances that “aren’t the right time”. The key to overcoming these obstacles is firstly to recognize the things that are holding you back because only then can you possibly try to overcome them.

Don’t let these things hold you back from realizing your dreams…

The fear of failure

From a young age, we seem to demonstrate a fear of failure or embarrassment, which growing up might have stopped us from asking for that date or joining the sports club, but as we get older this innate fear can stop us from more serious desires such as perusing our dream career or having the courage to do what makes us happy. But if you don’t try you will never know.

Always think, what’s the worst that can happen? Sit down, make a calculated risk and go for it! Don’t fear rejection, failure or making mistakes. Fear being stagnant and standing still instead!

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”  – Jack Canfield

Listening to negative voices

From the little voice inside your head that tells you ‘you’re not good enough’, to listening to negative apprehension from concerned friends and family, these little voices can chip away at your self confidence and your attitude that you can do this. In the short term these negative voices might cause annoyance and irritation but in the long term they could fatally erode your confidence.

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If it’s you that is being the negative voice, eliminate the use of words such as ‘should’ ‘can’t’ or ‘I wish…’ from your vocabulary.

For example,

“I should have a monthly income from an employer but I want to be self employed”

Or

“I can’t possibly move abroad…”

Or

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“I wish I had the time to peruse my hobby and turn it into my career but…”

 

Someone has to be honest with you and I am telling you now, these are just excuses for inaction and not real legitimate hurdles!

If it is friends, families and acquaintances that are advising you not to follow your dream and are unknowingly holding you back, then don’t share your thoughts with them. That simple. Yes it is great to have feedback, but only if it is going to develop and progress you, not erode your confidence. Ask the experts for advice and sensible suggestions, not concerned friends that don’t know all the facts.

Striving for perfection

I got news for you, big news…life is never going to be “perfect” no matter how hard you try, so stop stressing to make it 100 percent perfect when you’d be just as happy with 90 percent perfection, which is also easier to obtain and maintain. I am not saying you shouldn’t try, push or progress but don’t do it to the detriment of your success and sanity.

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good” is something my boss used to always tell me in my first job after university, where my desperation for perfection was actually creating a negative effect, as my anxiety to be perfect had the reversed desired outcome.

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Always striving for perfection will cripple your ability to reach your goals and be happy doing it.

Your past haunting you

Everyone has a past which means everyone has baggage, fears and preconceptions. Making mistakes and learning from experiences is vital for a fulfilling life but don’t let the past haunt you. Just because it happened in the past, doesn’t mean it will necessarily happen again.

For example,

If you have been burnt with the failure of a start up business in the past, it doesn’t mean it will happen again, so don’t let it be a ghost of your future success.

Or perhaps you have experienced a negative emotional relationship in a past? Just because someone else was a dirt bag, doesn’t mean your future partner will be too.

 

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Life is for making mistakes and having fun whilst learning.

Be brave.

Follow your dreams.

Featured photo credit: http://picjumbo.com/ via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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