Advertising
Advertising

8 Things You Need to Do Before Starting Your Next Relationship

8 Things You Need to Do Before Starting Your Next Relationship

Relationships are a tricky business. If the goals, motivations, and expectations of both people involved don’t mesh well together, the whole affair is doomed to go down in flames. As easy as it is to shrug it off and blame it on the other person, there are certain things everyone needs to accomplish in their own life before they can be a good partner. If you want your next relationship to be better than your last one, tick off the eight items on this list before checking out another dating website.

1. Become Who You Want to Be

Step one is to ask yourself if you are the person you wanted to be growing up. What attitudes do you admire in other people? What are your personal weaknesses? Make a list if you have to of all the personality traits you would like to have and get to work cultivating them. Practice makes perfect.

Advertising

2. Create an Amazing Life

If you aren’t excited about the life you are living why would anyone else want to be a part of it? Do things that make you happy and get you excited for each new day. Find things to look forward to and share them with the people around you. If your life looks like enough fun, odds are you won’t need to go looking for love. It will beat a path to your door.

3. Find Your Passion

Part of creating an amazing life is finding at least one thing you can be really passionate about. Maybe you love exploring the outdoors. Maybe it is art that really gets you excited. Whatever it is, identify it and make it as big a part of your life as you can.

Advertising

4. Leave the Past in the Past

Everyone has had things happen to them that they would rather forget, but not everyone has baggage. Memories only become baggage if you dwell on them and refuse to move on. Learn to let go of the people who are no longer in your life and forget the ones who let you down. Move on and set your sights on the horizon.

Advertising

Dana feature

    5. Get Organized

    When you feel like you are in control of your life you will be more confident and more attractive. Organize everything. Clean your house. Clean your car. Trim down your Facebook friends list. No one wants to be in a relationship with a panicky scatterbrain and odds are if you are one you have a hard time relaxing. Get it together, man.

    6. Take Care of Yourself

    Do everything in your power to maximize your personal energy. Fill your life with things that make you happy and enthusiastic. Maybe running makes you feel great. Maybe it’s lifting weights. Maybe it’s going for a walk before work. Just do something to make yourself feel healthy and happy.

    Advertising

    7. Learn to Accept Other People

    One of the toughest things you learn in life is that other people don’t exist to satisfy your expectations of them. Accept other people for who they are and learn to embrace their flaws. A good relationship is one where both people can feel comfortable and at home. Judging people is a great way to get them headed for the door.

    8. Love Life

    Dwight Eisenhower once said “Pessimism never won a war” and the same applies to life. With all the negativity that already exists in the world (ex. missile strikes, bombings, celebrity gossip columns, etc.) no one in your life needs to hear about the things you think suck. Focus on the positive. Find things about the world you love. Only when you are happy about the life you have can you successfully try to expand it.

    Featured photo credit: Jong Soo(Peter) Lee via flickr.com

    More by this author

    8 Benefits of Running 5 Minutes Every Day You Didn’t Know 10 Common Job Hunting Mistakes You Need to Avoid 8 Keys to Success from Jack Ma, Self-Made Billionaire and CEO of Alibaba This Is Why Recent Graduates Should Join a Start-Up 5 Fun Lessons to Help Make Your Kids Financially Independent

    Trending in Communication

    1 How to Be Patient and Take Charge of Your Life 2 What Is Self-Actualization? 13 Traits of Self-Actualized People 3 5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today 4 5 Warning Signs That You’re a People Pleaser 5 How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on December 10, 2019

    5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

    5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

    Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

    Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

    But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

    Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

    But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

    Journal writing.

    Advertising

    Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

    Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

    Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

    1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

    By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

    Consider this:

    Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

    Advertising

    But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

    The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

    2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

    If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

    How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

    Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

    You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

    Advertising

    3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

    As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

    Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

    All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

    4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

    Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

    Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

    The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

    Advertising

    5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

    The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

    It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

    Kickstart Journaling

    How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

    Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

    Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

    Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

    Read Next