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8 Overrated Things You’ve Given Too Much Importance To In Life

8 Overrated Things You’ve Given Too Much Importance To In Life

In life, you often get caught up and too involved with a lot of overrated things. So much so that you forget the really priceless and valuable things that life has to offer: your loved ones, the time you spend bonding with the people who matter to you, gratitude, simple celebrations, a picnic in a park, a lazy run, and a warm hug from an equally warm person, amongst others.

Sadly, instead of focusing on what truly matters, you focus on these following eight overrated things that aren’t really worth all your time, energy and efforts. Take note of these eight things and stop giving them so much of your attention.

1. Growing up

You make such a big deal of growing up that you actually forget to hone your maturity level. Instead of developing your relationships with people and making more meaningful connections, you’re too involved in your teenage angst to pay attention to anyone else but yourself. As an example, when I had my 18th birthday party, I didn’t really bother with the invitations. I wanted a Japanese-themed party so I made sure to have all the stuff, all the things and all the food complete – without realizing that the guest list wasn’t done.

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2. Weddings

You’re more in love with the idea of getting married than the idea of spending forever with your significant other. Nowadays, it seems like weddings are competitions. Who gets married first? Who gets married in the most expensive location? Whose wedding gown was made by an international designer? Who should cater? How much should the budget for the flowers be? Because we’re too busy minding the superficial elements, we forget that marriage is supposed to be a celebration of love; not a competition of wealth.

At the end of the day, without all the frivolities, being married to your partner is supposed to last forever.

3. Vacations

You get caught up in where you are going for your trips, when in fact you should be more concerned about who you’re going with. Where to go for a trip is on our list of eight overrated things because essentially, when you really stop and think about it, it doesn’t matter if you’re going to great places if you’re all alone. It’s better to just do a staycation, and take a vacation in your local tourist spots as long as you’re with your family and friends.

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What good is an amazing view if you’re all by yourself?

4. Job-related concerns

Instead of staying up late at night to bond with the people who matter to you, you stay up late in order to finish a project before its deadline, impress your boss and hopefully get that promotion that you’ve been eyeing. “I’m only doing this for my family. I’m working hard so that they can have a better life,” you might say. True, you need to make a living for your daily expenses. But have you ever thought that your family may appreciate your presence more than the actual presents that you give them?

Sam Walton, with a net worth of $65 billion and founder of Walmart, said, “I blew it!” on his death bed. Remember: no one on their death bed wished that they had spent more time in their office. Instead, they wished that they had spent more time with their family and friends.

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5. College and the pressure of getting a degree

You’re all self-absorbed with complicated-sounding titles. We want the PhD, the MBA, the RN, the MAN and all of those fancy names. But, my friend, college isn’t about how long your title is, or how many years you studied. It’s all about self-development, progress and self-discovery. Getting a degree won’t ensure that your life is already set up for you. It’s to ensure that you’re well on your way to discovering who you are and what you’re passionate about.

6. Being right

The majority of the arguments all over the world stem from our desire to be right. Naturally, being right is acceptable when it’s dealing with public safety. However, the same logic doesn’t work when applied to minuscule things. Is arguing about “who wore it better,” or “who sang the better version,” or “which businessman is richer” really worth it?

Being right at the cost of a relationship is hardly worth it.

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7. Finishing first

This is applicable whenever we encounter contests. Why is it that we only reward those who finish first, instead of giving rewards to people who participated in the endeavor? Finishing first isn’t always important. As they say, “Even if you finished first in the rat race, remember, you’re still a rat.”

8. Luxury items

Expensive handbags and branded shoes are overrated items that aren’t worth your efforts! There are nonbranded items that also have really great quality. Don’t be defined by the bag you hold, the shoes you walk in and the clothes you wear. Instead, be defined by your friendly personality, positive outlook in life and kindness. Luxury items may run out of style, but being gracious and confident of yourself is a classic, timeless trait.

Featured photo credit: elbowsonbus.jpg/puravida via mrg.bz

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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