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7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

You can have looks that turn heads as you walk down the street, smarts that rival anyone on the planet, all the money in the world, the best career, the hottest girlfriend and the biggest house – yet, still feel as if something is missing in your life. That missing component is the relationship you should be having with yourself.

Loving yourself is the most powerful aspect you can have in the relationship you have with yourself. As someone who has dealt with self-confidence issues, I’ve tried to cover up my relationship with myself with nice clothes, a healthy physique and a false bravado.

Even after all those attempts, I was still unsatisfied – a huge void was missing. I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t lean enough, nor could I celebrate any success in life. I was obsessed with chasing the ghost of perfection (which will never be caught).

It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and reached out for help that I realized what was missing. I learned that people who love themselves practice these seven actions daily.

1. They Take Ownership Of Their Lives And Stay Present

The day I became free was the day I chose myself and took ownership over every facet of my life. It’s not our parents’, friends’, bosses’, significant others’, nor society’s responsibility to hand us our dreams – it’s ours.

You are ultimately responsible for all of your decisions and where you currently are in life.

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Design your own rules and refuse to blindly follow what others deem ‘so-called happiness’. Don’t overload yourself with regret by focusing on the past nor fixate on a future that will leave you anxious about something which most likely won’t come to fruition. Place all your focus on the present, which is the only thing you can control.

This moment is ultimately all there is, no time is better than now to go after what you truly want.

2. They Only Hang Around People Who Add Value To Their Lives

People who make you feel anxious, depressed or angry don’t deserve to be apart of your life and certainly don’t deserve your precious time. Take note of the people in your life and assess whether each person is adding value or taking energy away (also known as an energy vampire).

The wrong type of people in your life are just as bad as having leeches covering your body and sucking the life out of you. The wrong type of people will lead to crappy relationships and place you further away from your dreams.

To live the life you dream, you have to make bold decisions and this starts with being picky about who deserves your time and energy.

3. They’re Lifelong Students

If your days consist of junk food information such as mind numbing reality shows, refreshing Facebook, and tuning in to the news 24/7, then you aren’t living anywhere close to a rich life. Input equals output. If you’re consuming junk food information, your life is going to be junk food quality as well.

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The more quality knowledge you seek, the better of a thinker you are, and the better quality of life you’ll have.

There are plenty of avenues to quench your knowledge besides sitting in a classroom. Examples include workshops, books, learning from others, meetups and signing up for free lessons on learning websites like Coursera, .

Making yourself a lifelong learner is a way to continually improve yourself, and what finer way to practice loving yourself than to consistently improve upon yourself?

4. They See Life Full Of Abundance

Those who are cynical and not loving will view the world in a matter of scarcity. A scarcity mindset feels there isn’t enough business to go around, not enough opportunities, and that life has too much going against them to succeed.

When you see the world in abundance, there’s no need for selfish behaviors due to there being plenty of wealth, business and opportunity for everyone.

This is the greatest time to be alive and living out a dream. It comes down to a matter of your perspective on whether you’ll thrive in life or stay comfortable in your excuses.

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5. They Only Focus On The Controllable Aspects Of Life

Most things in life are out of our hands, yet we worry ourselves and still come to no conclusion over the matter. Just as death and taxes are inevitable, so too are bad things occasionally sprouting up in our lives.

While you can’t control external situations that go bad, you can choose how you respond to them. Self-loving people understand that they are in control of their responses and no one can take that away unless they allow them to.

6. They Place A Priority On Their Health

When you’re ignoring your health, you’re sending the message that you’re not important.

People who love themselves understand that a rich and healthy life entails a focus on mind, body, spirit and emotional health.

Exercising will cover the body aspect. But also mentally challenge yourself each day with exercises or activities that make your brain think. Practice your spirituality by giving gratitude daily and meditating to calm yourself.

Be emotionally healthy by only hanging around positive people and speaking in positive manners.

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7. They Realize They’re Good Enough As Is

If you don’t think you’re good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough or deserving enough, then no one else will either.

Before you can truly thrive in life, you must acknowledge and let go of chasing the ghost of perfection. Accept yourself as is. Don’t let your perceived flaws or mistakes become a detriment to living a fulfilled life.

Your mistakes won’t ruin your life – that’s where growth happens.

Give yourself permission to go after what you want. You are more than capable, strong enough, and smart enough as is. You can still seek improvement, but never let self-doubt stop you from even trying.

What’s one thing you do each day to show yourself some love? Let us know in the comments below!

More by this author

Julian Hayes II

Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

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Last Updated on December 4, 2020

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

We all crave constructive feedback. We want to know not just what we’re doing well but also what we could be doing better.

However, giving and getting constructive feedback isn’t just some feel-good exercise. In the workplace, it’s part and parcel of how companies grow.

Let’s take a closer look.

Why Constructive Feedback Is Critical

A culture of feedback benefits individuals on a team and the team itself. Constructive feedback has the following effects:

Builds Workers’ Skills

Think about the last time you made a mistake. Did you come away from it feeling attacked—a key marker of destructive feedback—or did you feel like you learned something new?

Every time a team member learns something, they become more valuable to the business. The range of tasks they can tackle increases. Over time, they make fewer mistakes, require less supervision, and become more willing to ask for help.

Boosts Employee Loyalty

Constructive feedback is a two-way street. Employees want to receive it, but they also want the feedback they give to be taken seriously.

If employees see their constructive feedback ignored, they may take it to mean they aren’t a valued part of the team. Nine in ten employees say they’d be more likely to stick with a company that takes and acts on their feedback.[1]

Strengthens Team Bonds

Without trust, teams cannot function. Constructive feedback builds trust because it shows that the giver of the feedback cares about the success of the recipient.

However, for constructive feedback to work its magic, both sides have to assume good intentions. Those giving the feedback must genuinely want to help, and those getting it has to assume that the goal is to build them up rather than to tear them down.

Promotes Mentorship

There’s nothing wrong with a single round of constructive feedback. But when it really makes a difference is when it’s repeated—continuous, constructive feedback is the bread and butter of mentorship.

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Be the change you want to see on your team. Give constructive feedback often and authentically, and others will naturally start to see you as a mentor.

Clearly, constructive feedback is something most teams could use more of. But how do you actually give it?

How to Give Constructive Feedback

Giving constructive feedback is tricky. Get it wrong, and your message might fall on deaf ears. Get it really wrong, and you could sow distrust or create tension across the entire team.

Here are ways to give constructive feedback properly:

1. Listen First

Often, what you perceive as a mistake is a decision someone made for a good reason. Listening is the key to effective communication.

Seek to understand: how did the other person arrive at her choice or action?

You could say:

  • “Help me understand your thought process.”
  • “What led you to take that step?”
  • “What’s your perspective?”

2. Lead With a Compliment

In school, you might have heard it called the “sandwich method”: Before (and ideally, after) giving difficult feedback, share a compliment. That signals to the recipient that you value their work.

You could say:

  • “Great design. Can we see it with a different font?”
  • “Good thinking. What if we tried this?”

3. Address the Wider Team

Sometimes, constructive feedback is best given indirectly. If your comment could benefit others on the team, or if the person whom you’re really speaking to might take it the wrong way, try communicating your feedback in a group setting.

You could say:

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  • “Let’s think through this together.”
  • “I want everyone to see . . .”

4. Ask How You Can Help

When you’re on a team, you’re all in it together. When a mistake happens, you have to realize that everyone—not just the person who made it—has a role in fixing it. Give constructive feedback in a way that recognizes this dynamic.

You could say:

  • “What can I do to support you?”
  • “How can I make your life easier?
  • “Is there something I could do better?”

5. Give Examples

To be useful, constructive feedback needs to be concrete. Illustrate your advice by pointing to an ideal.

What should the end result look like? Who has the process down pat?

You could say:

  • “I wanted to show you . . .”
  • “This is what I’d like yours to look like.”
  • “This is a perfect example.”
  • “My ideal is . . .”

6. Be Empathetic

Even when there’s trust in a team, mistakes can be embarrassing. Lessons can be hard to swallow. Constructive feedback is more likely to be taken to heart when it’s accompanied by empathy.

You could say:

  • “I know it’s hard to hear.”
  • “I understand.”
  • “I’m sorry.”

7. Smile

Management consultancies like Credera teach that communication is a combination of the content, delivery, and presentation.[2] When giving constructive feedback, make sure your body language is as positive as your message. Your smile is one of your best tools for getting constructive feedback to connect.

8. Be Grateful

When you’re frustrated about a mistake, it can be tough to see the silver lining. But you don’t have to look that hard. Every constructive feedback session is a chance for the team to get better and grow closer.

You could say:

  • “I’m glad you brought this up.”
  • “We all learned an important lesson.”
  • “I love improving as a team.”

9. Avoid Accusations

Giving tough feedback without losing your cool is one of the toughest parts of working with others. Great leaders and project managers get upset at the mistake, not the person who made it.[3]

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You could say:

  • “We all make mistakes.”
  • “I know you did your best.”
  • “I don’t hold it against you.”

10. Take Responsibility

More often than not, mistakes are made because of miscommunications Recognize your own role in them.

Could you have been clearer in your directions? Did you set the other person up for success?

You could say:

  • “I should have . . .”
  • “Next time, I’ll . . .”

11. Time it Right

Constructive feedback shouldn’t catch people off guard. Don’t give it while everyone is packing up to leave work. Don’t interrupt a good lunch conversation.

If in doubt, ask the person to whom you’re giving feedback to schedule the session themselves. Encourage them to choose a time when they’ll be able to focus on the conversation rather than their next task.

12. Use Their Name

When you hear your name, your ears naturally perk up. Use that when giving constructive feedback. Just remember that constructive feedback should be personalized, not personal.

You could say:

  • “Bob, I wanted to chat through . . .”
  • “Does that make sense, Jesse?”

13. Suggest, Don’t Order

When you give constructive feedback, it’s important not to be adversarial. The very act of giving feedback recognizes that the person who made the mistake had a choice—and when the situation comes up again, they’ll be able to choose differently.

You could say:

  • “Next time, I suggest . . .”
  • “Try it this way.”
  • “Are you on board with that?”

14. Be Brief

Even when given empathetically, constructive feedback can be uncomfortable to receive. Get your message across, make sure there are no hard feelings, and move on.

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One exception? If the feedback isn’t understood, make clear that you have plenty of time for questions. Rushing through what’s clearly an open conversation is disrespectful and discouraging.

15. Follow Up

Not all lessons are learned immediately. After giving a member of your team constructive feedback, follow it up with an email. Make sure you’re just as respectful and helpful in your written feedback as you are on your verbal communication.

You could say:

  • “I wanted to recap . . .”
  • “Thanks for chatting with me about . . .”
  • “Did that make sense?”

16. Expect Improvement

Although you should always deliver constructive feedback in a supportive manner, you should also expect to see it implemented. If it’s a long-term issue, set milestones.

By what date would you like to see what sort of improvement? How will you measure that improvement?

You could say:

  • “I’d like to see you . . .”
  • “Let’s check back in after . . .”
  • “I’m expecting you to . . .”
  • “Let’s make a dent in that by . . .”

17. Give Second Chances

Giving feedback, no matter how constructive, is a waste of time if you don’t provide an opportunity to implement it. Don’t set up a “gotcha” moment, but do tap the recipient of your feedback next time a similar task comes up.

You could say:

  • “I know you’ll rock it next time.”
  • “I’d love to see you try again.”
  • “Let’s give it another go.”

Final Thoughts

Constructive feedback is not an easy nut to crack. If you don’t give it well, then maybe it’s time to get some. Never be afraid to ask.

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Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

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