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7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

You can have looks that turn heads as you walk down the street, smarts that rival anyone on the planet, all the money in the world, the best career, the hottest girlfriend and the biggest house – yet, still feel as if something is missing in your life. That missing component is the relationship you should be having with yourself.

Loving yourself is the most powerful aspect you can have in the relationship you have with yourself. As someone who has dealt with self-confidence issues, I’ve tried to cover up my relationship with myself with nice clothes, a healthy physique and a false bravado.

Even after all those attempts, I was still unsatisfied – a huge void was missing. I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t lean enough, nor could I celebrate any success in life. I was obsessed with chasing the ghost of perfection (which will never be caught).

It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and reached out for help that I realized what was missing. I learned that people who love themselves practice these seven actions daily.

1. They Take Ownership Of Their Lives And Stay Present

The day I became free was the day I chose myself and took ownership over every facet of my life. It’s not our parents’, friends’, bosses’, significant others’, nor society’s responsibility to hand us our dreams – it’s ours.

You are ultimately responsible for all of your decisions and where you currently are in life.

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Design your own rules and refuse to blindly follow what others deem ‘so-called happiness’. Don’t overload yourself with regret by focusing on the past nor fixate on a future that will leave you anxious about something which most likely won’t come to fruition. Place all your focus on the present, which is the only thing you can control.

This moment is ultimately all there is, no time is better than now to go after what you truly want.

2. They Only Hang Around People Who Add Value To Their Lives

People who make you feel anxious, depressed or angry don’t deserve to be apart of your life and certainly don’t deserve your precious time. Take note of the people in your life and assess whether each person is adding value or taking energy away (also known as an energy vampire).

The wrong type of people in your life are just as bad as having leeches covering your body and sucking the life out of you. The wrong type of people will lead to crappy relationships and place you further away from your dreams.

To live the life you dream, you have to make bold decisions and this starts with being picky about who deserves your time and energy.

3. They’re Lifelong Students

If your days consist of junk food information such as mind numbing reality shows, refreshing Facebook, and tuning in to the news 24/7, then you aren’t living anywhere close to a rich life. Input equals output. If you’re consuming junk food information, your life is going to be junk food quality as well.

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The more quality knowledge you seek, the better of a thinker you are, and the better quality of life you’ll have.

There are plenty of avenues to quench your knowledge besides sitting in a classroom. Examples include workshops, books, learning from others, meetups and signing up for free lessons on learning websites like Coursera, .

Making yourself a lifelong learner is a way to continually improve yourself, and what finer way to practice loving yourself than to consistently improve upon yourself?

4. They See Life Full Of Abundance

Those who are cynical and not loving will view the world in a matter of scarcity. A scarcity mindset feels there isn’t enough business to go around, not enough opportunities, and that life has too much going against them to succeed.

When you see the world in abundance, there’s no need for selfish behaviors due to there being plenty of wealth, business and opportunity for everyone.

This is the greatest time to be alive and living out a dream. It comes down to a matter of your perspective on whether you’ll thrive in life or stay comfortable in your excuses.

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5. They Only Focus On The Controllable Aspects Of Life

Most things in life are out of our hands, yet we worry ourselves and still come to no conclusion over the matter. Just as death and taxes are inevitable, so too are bad things occasionally sprouting up in our lives.

While you can’t control external situations that go bad, you can choose how you respond to them. Self-loving people understand that they are in control of their responses and no one can take that away unless they allow them to.

6. They Place A Priority On Their Health

When you’re ignoring your health, you’re sending the message that you’re not important.

People who love themselves understand that a rich and healthy life entails a focus on mind, body, spirit and emotional health.

Exercising will cover the body aspect. But also mentally challenge yourself each day with exercises or activities that make your brain think. Practice your spirituality by giving gratitude daily and meditating to calm yourself.

Be emotionally healthy by only hanging around positive people and speaking in positive manners.

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7. They Realize They’re Good Enough As Is

If you don’t think you’re good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough or deserving enough, then no one else will either.

Before you can truly thrive in life, you must acknowledge and let go of chasing the ghost of perfection. Accept yourself as is. Don’t let your perceived flaws or mistakes become a detriment to living a fulfilled life.

Your mistakes won’t ruin your life – that’s where growth happens.

Give yourself permission to go after what you want. You are more than capable, strong enough, and smart enough as is. You can still seek improvement, but never let self-doubt stop you from even trying.

What’s one thing you do each day to show yourself some love? Let us know in the comments below!

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Julian Hayes II

Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

Starting Today, Stop These 6 Things to Become the Best Version of Yourself 5 Fun Ways to Transform Your Body And Health When You Don’t Feel Like Going to the Gym 4 Common Reasons Why You Fall Short With Your Weight Loss Goals (And What You Should Do Instead) 7 (Surprising) Actions to Take For Guaranteed Fat Loss 7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

More Resources About Strengthening Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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