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7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

You can have looks that turn heads as you walk down the street, smarts that rival anyone on the planet, all the money in the world, the best career, the hottest girlfriend and the biggest house – yet, still feel as if something is missing in your life. That missing component is the relationship you should be having with yourself.

Loving yourself is the most powerful aspect you can have in the relationship you have with yourself. As someone who has dealt with self-confidence issues, I’ve tried to cover up my relationship with myself with nice clothes, a healthy physique and a false bravado.

Even after all those attempts, I was still unsatisfied – a huge void was missing. I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t lean enough, nor could I celebrate any success in life. I was obsessed with chasing the ghost of perfection (which will never be caught).

It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and reached out for help that I realized what was missing. I learned that people who love themselves practice these seven actions daily.

1. They Take Ownership Of Their Lives And Stay Present

The day I became free was the day I chose myself and took ownership over every facet of my life. It’s not our parents’, friends’, bosses’, significant others’, nor society’s responsibility to hand us our dreams – it’s ours.

You are ultimately responsible for all of your decisions and where you currently are in life.

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Design your own rules and refuse to blindly follow what others deem ‘so-called happiness’. Don’t overload yourself with regret by focusing on the past nor fixate on a future that will leave you anxious about something which most likely won’t come to fruition. Place all your focus on the present, which is the only thing you can control.

This moment is ultimately all there is, no time is better than now to go after what you truly want.

2. They Only Hang Around People Who Add Value To Their Lives

People who make you feel anxious, depressed or angry don’t deserve to be apart of your life and certainly don’t deserve your precious time. Take note of the people in your life and assess whether each person is adding value or taking energy away (also known as an energy vampire).

The wrong type of people in your life are just as bad as having leeches covering your body and sucking the life out of you. The wrong type of people will lead to crappy relationships and place you further away from your dreams.

To live the life you dream, you have to make bold decisions and this starts with being picky about who deserves your time and energy.

3. They’re Lifelong Students

If your days consist of junk food information such as mind numbing reality shows, refreshing Facebook, and tuning in to the news 24/7, then you aren’t living anywhere close to a rich life. Input equals output. If you’re consuming junk food information, your life is going to be junk food quality as well.

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The more quality knowledge you seek, the better of a thinker you are, and the better quality of life you’ll have.

There are plenty of avenues to quench your knowledge besides sitting in a classroom. Examples include workshops, books, learning from others, meetups and signing up for free lessons on learning websites like Coursera, .

Making yourself a lifelong learner is a way to continually improve yourself, and what finer way to practice loving yourself than to consistently improve upon yourself?

4. They See Life Full Of Abundance

Those who are cynical and not loving will view the world in a matter of scarcity. A scarcity mindset feels there isn’t enough business to go around, not enough opportunities, and that life has too much going against them to succeed.

When you see the world in abundance, there’s no need for selfish behaviors due to there being plenty of wealth, business and opportunity for everyone.

This is the greatest time to be alive and living out a dream. It comes down to a matter of your perspective on whether you’ll thrive in life or stay comfortable in your excuses.

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5. They Only Focus On The Controllable Aspects Of Life

Most things in life are out of our hands, yet we worry ourselves and still come to no conclusion over the matter. Just as death and taxes are inevitable, so too are bad things occasionally sprouting up in our lives.

While you can’t control external situations that go bad, you can choose how you respond to them. Self-loving people understand that they are in control of their responses and no one can take that away unless they allow them to.

6. They Place A Priority On Their Health

When you’re ignoring your health, you’re sending the message that you’re not important.

People who love themselves understand that a rich and healthy life entails a focus on mind, body, spirit and emotional health.

Exercising will cover the body aspect. But also mentally challenge yourself each day with exercises or activities that make your brain think. Practice your spirituality by giving gratitude daily and meditating to calm yourself.

Be emotionally healthy by only hanging around positive people and speaking in positive manners.

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7. They Realize They’re Good Enough As Is

If you don’t think you’re good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough or deserving enough, then no one else will either.

Before you can truly thrive in life, you must acknowledge and let go of chasing the ghost of perfection. Accept yourself as is. Don’t let your perceived flaws or mistakes become a detriment to living a fulfilled life.

Your mistakes won’t ruin your life – that’s where growth happens.

Give yourself permission to go after what you want. You are more than capable, strong enough, and smart enough as is. You can still seek improvement, but never let self-doubt stop you from even trying.

What’s one thing you do each day to show yourself some love? Let us know in the comments below!

More by this author

Julian Hayes II

Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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