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7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

You can have looks that turn heads as you walk down the street, smarts that rival anyone on the planet, all the money in the world, the best career, the hottest girlfriend and the biggest house – yet, still feel as if something is missing in your life. That missing component is the relationship you should be having with yourself.

Loving yourself is the most powerful aspect you can have in the relationship you have with yourself. As someone who has dealt with self-confidence issues, I’ve tried to cover up my relationship with myself with nice clothes, a healthy physique and a false bravado.

Even after all those attempts, I was still unsatisfied – a huge void was missing. I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t lean enough, nor could I celebrate any success in life. I was obsessed with chasing the ghost of perfection (which will never be caught).

It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and reached out for help that I realized what was missing. I learned that people who love themselves practice these seven actions daily.

1. They Take Ownership Of Their Lives And Stay Present

The day I became free was the day I chose myself and took ownership over every facet of my life. It’s not our parents’, friends’, bosses’, significant others’, nor society’s responsibility to hand us our dreams – it’s ours.

You are ultimately responsible for all of your decisions and where you currently are in life.

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Design your own rules and refuse to blindly follow what others deem ‘so-called happiness’. Don’t overload yourself with regret by focusing on the past nor fixate on a future that will leave you anxious about something which most likely won’t come to fruition. Place all your focus on the present, which is the only thing you can control.

This moment is ultimately all there is, no time is better than now to go after what you truly want.

2. They Only Hang Around People Who Add Value To Their Lives

People who make you feel anxious, depressed or angry don’t deserve to be apart of your life and certainly don’t deserve your precious time. Take note of the people in your life and assess whether each person is adding value or taking energy away (also known as an energy vampire).

The wrong type of people in your life are just as bad as having leeches covering your body and sucking the life out of you. The wrong type of people will lead to crappy relationships and place you further away from your dreams.

To live the life you dream, you have to make bold decisions and this starts with being picky about who deserves your time and energy.

3. They’re Lifelong Students

If your days consist of junk food information such as mind numbing reality shows, refreshing Facebook, and tuning in to the news 24/7, then you aren’t living anywhere close to a rich life. Input equals output. If you’re consuming junk food information, your life is going to be junk food quality as well.

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The more quality knowledge you seek, the better of a thinker you are, and the better quality of life you’ll have.

There are plenty of avenues to quench your knowledge besides sitting in a classroom. Examples include workshops, books, learning from others, meetups and signing up for free lessons on learning websites like Coursera, .

Making yourself a lifelong learner is a way to continually improve yourself, and what finer way to practice loving yourself than to consistently improve upon yourself?

4. They See Life Full Of Abundance

Those who are cynical and not loving will view the world in a matter of scarcity. A scarcity mindset feels there isn’t enough business to go around, not enough opportunities, and that life has too much going against them to succeed.

When you see the world in abundance, there’s no need for selfish behaviors due to there being plenty of wealth, business and opportunity for everyone.

This is the greatest time to be alive and living out a dream. It comes down to a matter of your perspective on whether you’ll thrive in life or stay comfortable in your excuses.

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5. They Only Focus On The Controllable Aspects Of Life

Most things in life are out of our hands, yet we worry ourselves and still come to no conclusion over the matter. Just as death and taxes are inevitable, so too are bad things occasionally sprouting up in our lives.

While you can’t control external situations that go bad, you can choose how you respond to them. Self-loving people understand that they are in control of their responses and no one can take that away unless they allow them to.

6. They Place A Priority On Their Health

When you’re ignoring your health, you’re sending the message that you’re not important.

People who love themselves understand that a rich and healthy life entails a focus on mind, body, spirit and emotional health.

Exercising will cover the body aspect. But also mentally challenge yourself each day with exercises or activities that make your brain think. Practice your spirituality by giving gratitude daily and meditating to calm yourself.

Be emotionally healthy by only hanging around positive people and speaking in positive manners.

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7. They Realize They’re Good Enough As Is

If you don’t think you’re good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough or deserving enough, then no one else will either.

Before you can truly thrive in life, you must acknowledge and let go of chasing the ghost of perfection. Accept yourself as is. Don’t let your perceived flaws or mistakes become a detriment to living a fulfilled life.

Your mistakes won’t ruin your life – that’s where growth happens.

Give yourself permission to go after what you want. You are more than capable, strong enough, and smart enough as is. You can still seek improvement, but never let self-doubt stop you from even trying.

What’s one thing you do each day to show yourself some love? Let us know in the comments below!

More by this author

Julian Hayes II

Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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