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7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

7 Simple Actions Practiced Daily By People Who Love Themselves

You can have looks that turn heads as you walk down the street, smarts that rival anyone on the planet, all the money in the world, the best career, the hottest girlfriend and the biggest house – yet, still feel as if something is missing in your life. That missing component is the relationship you should be having with yourself.

Loving yourself is the most powerful aspect you can have in the relationship you have with yourself. As someone who has dealt with self-confidence issues, I’ve tried to cover up my relationship with myself with nice clothes, a healthy physique and a false bravado.

Even after all those attempts, I was still unsatisfied – a huge void was missing. I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t lean enough, nor could I celebrate any success in life. I was obsessed with chasing the ghost of perfection (which will never be caught).

It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and reached out for help that I realized what was missing. I learned that people who love themselves practice these seven actions daily.

1. They Take Ownership Of Their Lives And Stay Present

The day I became free was the day I chose myself and took ownership over every facet of my life. It’s not our parents’, friends’, bosses’, significant others’, nor society’s responsibility to hand us our dreams – it’s ours.

You are ultimately responsible for all of your decisions and where you currently are in life.

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Design your own rules and refuse to blindly follow what others deem ‘so-called happiness’. Don’t overload yourself with regret by focusing on the past nor fixate on a future that will leave you anxious about something which most likely won’t come to fruition. Place all your focus on the present, which is the only thing you can control.

This moment is ultimately all there is, no time is better than now to go after what you truly want.

2. They Only Hang Around People Who Add Value To Their Lives

People who make you feel anxious, depressed or angry don’t deserve to be apart of your life and certainly don’t deserve your precious time. Take note of the people in your life and assess whether each person is adding value or taking energy away (also known as an energy vampire).

The wrong type of people in your life are just as bad as having leeches covering your body and sucking the life out of you. The wrong type of people will lead to crappy relationships and place you further away from your dreams.

To live the life you dream, you have to make bold decisions and this starts with being picky about who deserves your time and energy.

3. They’re Lifelong Students

If your days consist of junk food information such as mind numbing reality shows, refreshing Facebook, and tuning in to the news 24/7, then you aren’t living anywhere close to a rich life. Input equals output. If you’re consuming junk food information, your life is going to be junk food quality as well.

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The more quality knowledge you seek, the better of a thinker you are, and the better quality of life you’ll have.

There are plenty of avenues to quench your knowledge besides sitting in a classroom. Examples include workshops, books, learning from others, meetups and signing up for free lessons on learning websites like Coursera, .

Making yourself a lifelong learner is a way to continually improve yourself, and what finer way to practice loving yourself than to consistently improve upon yourself?

4. They See Life Full Of Abundance

Those who are cynical and not loving will view the world in a matter of scarcity. A scarcity mindset feels there isn’t enough business to go around, not enough opportunities, and that life has too much going against them to succeed.

When you see the world in abundance, there’s no need for selfish behaviors due to there being plenty of wealth, business and opportunity for everyone.

This is the greatest time to be alive and living out a dream. It comes down to a matter of your perspective on whether you’ll thrive in life or stay comfortable in your excuses.

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5. They Only Focus On The Controllable Aspects Of Life

Most things in life are out of our hands, yet we worry ourselves and still come to no conclusion over the matter. Just as death and taxes are inevitable, so too are bad things occasionally sprouting up in our lives.

While you can’t control external situations that go bad, you can choose how you respond to them. Self-loving people understand that they are in control of their responses and no one can take that away unless they allow them to.

6. They Place A Priority On Their Health

When you’re ignoring your health, you’re sending the message that you’re not important.

People who love themselves understand that a rich and healthy life entails a focus on mind, body, spirit and emotional health.

Exercising will cover the body aspect. But also mentally challenge yourself each day with exercises or activities that make your brain think. Practice your spirituality by giving gratitude daily and meditating to calm yourself.

Be emotionally healthy by only hanging around positive people and speaking in positive manners.

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7. They Realize They’re Good Enough As Is

If you don’t think you’re good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough or deserving enough, then no one else will either.

Before you can truly thrive in life, you must acknowledge and let go of chasing the ghost of perfection. Accept yourself as is. Don’t let your perceived flaws or mistakes become a detriment to living a fulfilled life.

Your mistakes won’t ruin your life – that’s where growth happens.

Give yourself permission to go after what you want. You are more than capable, strong enough, and smart enough as is. You can still seek improvement, but never let self-doubt stop you from even trying.

What’s one thing you do each day to show yourself some love? Let us know in the comments below!

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Julian Hayes II

Author, Health & Fitness Coach for Entrepreneurs, & Speaker

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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