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7 Reasons Why Real Life Romances Are Nothing Like Disney Movies

7 Reasons Why Real Life Romances Are Nothing Like Disney Movies

As a little girl I dreamed about my Prince Charming. He was strong and handsome and would protect me from everything bad in the world. We would live in a castle in a forest where the birds sang and butterflies followed us wherever we went.

Many girls dream of their Prince Charming. Unfortunately, he only exists in Disney movies and books. If you’re not careful, once grown you can fall victim of the fantasy character and sabotage a great relationship and your own happiness by chasing an imaginary prince.

Here are seven reasons why real life romances are nothing like Disney movies.

1. Your suitor will not save you from an angry pack of wolves before his 21st birthday.

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    Image via Flickr by Amaz

    Beast rescues Belle from a pack of wolves and then takes her back to his castle where she is held prisoner until they fall in love and live happily ever after.

    If he is wealthy, unemployed, and under 21, like Beast, you can forget about him saving you from a pack of wolves, unless you and the wolves are a part of a video game and he receives extra lives for saving you.

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    2. A successful romance is not built on lies.

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      Image via Flickr by Hector Vargas

      Aladdin and Jasmine both have issues with telling the truth. If Jasmine isn’t pretending to be a street rat, then Aladdin is pretending to be a rich suitor. Once they find out the other is lying, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

      Successful relationships never begin on lies. A good relationship is based on honesty. When both people are honest about who they are, they create a solid foundation for a real-life relationship that will last.

      3. You should not have to strive for perfection to be loved.

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        Image via Flickr by Loren Javler

        Ariel lusts after Prince Eric and he is so superficial he only wants a perfect girl. Ariel makes a deal to give up her voice if she can have legs to be the perfect girl and live happily ever after with Prince Eric.

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        If Prince Eric cannot love Ariel when she is a mermaid, then he is not worth the time or effort. No one should ever have to change something about themselves to be loved. Happy relationships are not built on lust and perfection.

        4. You should never fall in love with someone who steals from you.

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          Image via Flickr by Brett Jordan

          In Tangled, Flynn is a bad boy and good girls are attracted to bad boys. Their sly smiles and charisma puts butterflies in our stomachs. If we love them enough, they will change for us, right?

          Face it: Flynn is conceited and steals your stuff! He may be tempting but he will strip you of your “self” and the happiness you deserve. Good girls who fall for bad boys end up with broken hearts.

          5. Wanna-be gods will not give up power for you.

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            Image via Flickr by Joe Andy Mendoza

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            Hercules gives up his powers to be with Meg, even though she lied to him. Does this sound like any guy you know?

            Most guys I know would prefer the god status. Never-ending power and girls galore, or give it all up for one girl? If a guy is offered the chance to be with you or be a god, they should pick you but they are probably going to choose the god status every time!

            6. People living in the jungle do not look like Tarzan and Jane.

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              Image via Flickr by Loren Javler

              These two have been digging holes in the jungle to bury their waste. Do you really think they are going to be clean with perfect hair and clothes? Swinging on vines and hunting for food is dirty, sweaty work!

              Think of Survivor. Those people look like they smell bad. Some real life romances have come from the show and even they say kissing in the jungle with no toothpaste was pretty gross.

              7. If you are woken up by a stranger’s kiss, your first reaction would be to scream.

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                Image via Flickr by Keiichi Inoue

                In Sleeping Beauty, a handsome prince wakes Sleeping Beauty from her long slumber. When she opens her eyes, she is delighted to see the prince and falls in love.

                First of all, if you have been sleeping that long, your breath has got to be awful. No prince is going to want to kiss you. Secondly, if you are woken in that manner by someone you don’t know, your first reaction is probably going to be a little more violent than kissing them back.

                Disney movies and the romance they portray are great stories for creating a perfect world. They are a needed escape from an imperfect reality. It’s important to remember their purpose and not fall victim to believing these fairy tale romances can be created in real life.

                Reality will never be like a Disney movies. A perfect man is flawed and a happy relationship is one that grows from honesty and mutual respect. To fulfill your own happiness, watch Disney when you need to retreat to the fantasy world of princes and princesses, but remain grounded for a happy ever after.

                Featured photo credit: Cinderella and Prince Charming/Andy Sabis via flickr.com

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                Missy Yost

                Missy enjoys decorating, capturing the beauty of her surroundings on canvas, and making new friends. She shares about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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                Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                Example 1

                You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                Example 2

                You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                Example 3

                You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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                The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                Example 4

                You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                • Understand your own communication style
                • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                • Communicate with precision and care
                • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                1. Understand Your Communication Style

                To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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                If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                3. Exercise Precision and Care

                A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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                In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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                It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                The Bottom Line

                When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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                Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

                Reference

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