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7 Reasons Why Real Life Romances Are Nothing Like Disney Movies

7 Reasons Why Real Life Romances Are Nothing Like Disney Movies

As a little girl I dreamed about my Prince Charming. He was strong and handsome and would protect me from everything bad in the world. We would live in a castle in a forest where the birds sang and butterflies followed us wherever we went.

Many girls dream of their Prince Charming. Unfortunately, he only exists in Disney movies and books. If you’re not careful, once grown you can fall victim of the fantasy character and sabotage a great relationship and your own happiness by chasing an imaginary prince.

Here are seven reasons why real life romances are nothing like Disney movies.

1. Your suitor will not save you from an angry pack of wolves before his 21st birthday.

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    Image via Flickr by Amaz

    Beast rescues Belle from a pack of wolves and then takes her back to his castle where she is held prisoner until they fall in love and live happily ever after.

    If he is wealthy, unemployed, and under 21, like Beast, you can forget about him saving you from a pack of wolves, unless you and the wolves are a part of a video game and he receives extra lives for saving you.

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    2. A successful romance is not built on lies.

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      Image via Flickr by Hector Vargas

      Aladdin and Jasmine both have issues with telling the truth. If Jasmine isn’t pretending to be a street rat, then Aladdin is pretending to be a rich suitor. Once they find out the other is lying, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

      Successful relationships never begin on lies. A good relationship is based on honesty. When both people are honest about who they are, they create a solid foundation for a real-life relationship that will last.

      3. You should not have to strive for perfection to be loved.

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        Image via Flickr by Loren Javler

        Ariel lusts after Prince Eric and he is so superficial he only wants a perfect girl. Ariel makes a deal to give up her voice if she can have legs to be the perfect girl and live happily ever after with Prince Eric.

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        If Prince Eric cannot love Ariel when she is a mermaid, then he is not worth the time or effort. No one should ever have to change something about themselves to be loved. Happy relationships are not built on lust and perfection.

        4. You should never fall in love with someone who steals from you.

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          Image via Flickr by Brett Jordan

          In Tangled, Flynn is a bad boy and good girls are attracted to bad boys. Their sly smiles and charisma puts butterflies in our stomachs. If we love them enough, they will change for us, right?

          Face it: Flynn is conceited and steals your stuff! He may be tempting but he will strip you of your “self” and the happiness you deserve. Good girls who fall for bad boys end up with broken hearts.

          5. Wanna-be gods will not give up power for you.

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            Image via Flickr by Joe Andy Mendoza

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            Hercules gives up his powers to be with Meg, even though she lied to him. Does this sound like any guy you know?

            Most guys I know would prefer the god status. Never-ending power and girls galore, or give it all up for one girl? If a guy is offered the chance to be with you or be a god, they should pick you but they are probably going to choose the god status every time!

            6. People living in the jungle do not look like Tarzan and Jane.

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              Image via Flickr by Loren Javler

              These two have been digging holes in the jungle to bury their waste. Do you really think they are going to be clean with perfect hair and clothes? Swinging on vines and hunting for food is dirty, sweaty work!

              Think of Survivor. Those people look like they smell bad. Some real life romances have come from the show and even they say kissing in the jungle with no toothpaste was pretty gross.

              7. If you are woken up by a stranger’s kiss, your first reaction would be to scream.

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                Image via Flickr by Keiichi Inoue

                In Sleeping Beauty, a handsome prince wakes Sleeping Beauty from her long slumber. When she opens her eyes, she is delighted to see the prince and falls in love.

                First of all, if you have been sleeping that long, your breath has got to be awful. No prince is going to want to kiss you. Secondly, if you are woken in that manner by someone you don’t know, your first reaction is probably going to be a little more violent than kissing them back.

                Disney movies and the romance they portray are great stories for creating a perfect world. They are a needed escape from an imperfect reality. It’s important to remember their purpose and not fall victim to believing these fairy tale romances can be created in real life.

                Reality will never be like a Disney movies. A perfect man is flawed and a happy relationship is one that grows from honesty and mutual respect. To fulfill your own happiness, watch Disney when you need to retreat to the fantasy world of princes and princesses, but remain grounded for a happy ever after.

                Featured photo credit: Cinderella and Prince Charming/Andy Sabis via flickr.com

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                Missy Yost

                Missy is a business owner and writes about everyday lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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                Last Updated on November 19, 2020

                The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

                The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

                It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

                Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

                What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

                However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

                1. Value Your Time

                Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

                Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

                2. Know Your Priorities

                Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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                For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

                However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

                You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

                3. Practice Saying No

                Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

                Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

                4. Don’t Apologize

                A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

                When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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                5. Stop Being Nice

                Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

                Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

                6. Say No to Your Boss

                Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

                In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

                7. Pre-Empting

                It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

                “Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

                This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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                8. Get Back to You

                Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

                “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

                At least you gave it some consideration.

                9. Maybe Later

                If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

                “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

                Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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                Saying no the healthy way

                  10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

                  This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

                  Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

                  The Bottom Line

                  Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

                  Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

                  More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

                  Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

                  Reference

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