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7 Reasons Why Real Life Romances Are Nothing Like Disney Movies

7 Reasons Why Real Life Romances Are Nothing Like Disney Movies

As a little girl I dreamed about my Prince Charming. He was strong and handsome and would protect me from everything bad in the world. We would live in a castle in a forest where the birds sang and butterflies followed us wherever we went.

Many girls dream of their Prince Charming. Unfortunately, he only exists in Disney movies and books. If you’re not careful, once grown you can fall victim of the fantasy character and sabotage a great relationship and your own happiness by chasing an imaginary prince.

Here are seven reasons why real life romances are nothing like Disney movies.

1. Your suitor will not save you from an angry pack of wolves before his 21st birthday.

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    Image via Flickr by Amaz

    Beast rescues Belle from a pack of wolves and then takes her back to his castle where she is held prisoner until they fall in love and live happily ever after.

    If he is wealthy, unemployed, and under 21, like Beast, you can forget about him saving you from a pack of wolves, unless you and the wolves are a part of a video game and he receives extra lives for saving you.

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    2. A successful romance is not built on lies.

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      Image via Flickr by Hector Vargas

      Aladdin and Jasmine both have issues with telling the truth. If Jasmine isn’t pretending to be a street rat, then Aladdin is pretending to be a rich suitor. Once they find out the other is lying, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

      Successful relationships never begin on lies. A good relationship is based on honesty. When both people are honest about who they are, they create a solid foundation for a real-life relationship that will last.

      3. You should not have to strive for perfection to be loved.

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        Image via Flickr by Loren Javler

        Ariel lusts after Prince Eric and he is so superficial he only wants a perfect girl. Ariel makes a deal to give up her voice if she can have legs to be the perfect girl and live happily ever after with Prince Eric.

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        If Prince Eric cannot love Ariel when she is a mermaid, then he is not worth the time or effort. No one should ever have to change something about themselves to be loved. Happy relationships are not built on lust and perfection.

        4. You should never fall in love with someone who steals from you.

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          Image via Flickr by Brett Jordan

          In Tangled, Flynn is a bad boy and good girls are attracted to bad boys. Their sly smiles and charisma puts butterflies in our stomachs. If we love them enough, they will change for us, right?

          Face it: Flynn is conceited and steals your stuff! He may be tempting but he will strip you of your “self” and the happiness you deserve. Good girls who fall for bad boys end up with broken hearts.

          5. Wanna-be gods will not give up power for you.

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            Image via Flickr by Joe Andy Mendoza

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            Hercules gives up his powers to be with Meg, even though she lied to him. Does this sound like any guy you know?

            Most guys I know would prefer the god status. Never-ending power and girls galore, or give it all up for one girl? If a guy is offered the chance to be with you or be a god, they should pick you but they are probably going to choose the god status every time!

            6. People living in the jungle do not look like Tarzan and Jane.

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              Image via Flickr by Loren Javler

              These two have been digging holes in the jungle to bury their waste. Do you really think they are going to be clean with perfect hair and clothes? Swinging on vines and hunting for food is dirty, sweaty work!

              Think of Survivor. Those people look like they smell bad. Some real life romances have come from the show and even they say kissing in the jungle with no toothpaste was pretty gross.

              7. If you are woken up by a stranger’s kiss, your first reaction would be to scream.

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                Image via Flickr by Keiichi Inoue

                In Sleeping Beauty, a handsome prince wakes Sleeping Beauty from her long slumber. When she opens her eyes, she is delighted to see the prince and falls in love.

                First of all, if you have been sleeping that long, your breath has got to be awful. No prince is going to want to kiss you. Secondly, if you are woken in that manner by someone you don’t know, your first reaction is probably going to be a little more violent than kissing them back.

                Disney movies and the romance they portray are great stories for creating a perfect world. They are a needed escape from an imperfect reality. It’s important to remember their purpose and not fall victim to believing these fairy tale romances can be created in real life.

                Reality will never be like a Disney movies. A perfect man is flawed and a happy relationship is one that grows from honesty and mutual respect. To fulfill your own happiness, watch Disney when you need to retreat to the fantasy world of princes and princesses, but remain grounded for a happy ever after.

                Featured photo credit: Cinderella and Prince Charming/Andy Sabis via flickr.com

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                Missy Yost

                Missy is a business owner and writes about everyday lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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                Last Updated on March 30, 2020

                What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

                What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

                Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

                You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

                This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

                What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

                According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

                Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

                There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

                How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

                When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

                Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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                1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

                One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

                The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

                Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

                2. Be Honest

                A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

                If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

                On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

                Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

                3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

                Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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                If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

                4. Succeed at Something

                When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

                Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

                5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

                Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

                Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

                If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

                If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

                Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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                6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

                Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

                You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

                On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

                You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

                7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

                Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

                Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

                Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

                When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

                Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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                In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

                Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

                It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

                Final Thoughts

                When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

                The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

                Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

                Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

                Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

                More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

                Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

                Reference

                [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
                [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
                [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
                [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
                [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
                [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
                [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
                [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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