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7 Reasons Others Wish They Were You

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7 Reasons Others Wish They Were You

It’s about time you get rid of those bashful tendencies and own up to the fact that you have some pretty enviable qualities. Sure there are days that you wish you were somewhere or someone else, but the fact is, people wish they were you. It’s easy to discredit this thought, believing rather that with the flaws you have and the mistakes you’ve made, surely there is another more suitable candidate for others to aspire to be, but you’re wrong. As far as those flaws and mistakes go, no one is perfect. You deserve all this adoration. Here’s why:

You’re Intelligent.

Defined as the ability to learn and understand things, intelligence is unique to every person. When you truly think about it, everyone carries a great deal of knowledge about some particular topic. Whether you have the ability to solve complex chemical equations or you’re very crafty when it comes to repairing cars – your talents and knowledge lie in special areas.  Who wouldn’t want to know as much as you do concerning the one thing you’re most passionate about? You’re awesome at it and it really shows.

You Have the Voice of an Angel.

Or maybe you don’t.  But when you’re hanging out or driving around with the stereo up, it doesn’t matter how horribly out-of-tune you may be, your favorite line of a song is coming up so there’s no doubt you’re going to sing along. That song matches your mood perfectly today, and it feels great to belt out that melody. Just think of everyone that’s stuck at work or in a quiet classroom that can’t rock out the way you can. They’re wishing they were you.

You Created a Human.

Or maybe you didn’t. That’s cool too. You’re confident in the decision you made to have your little one, to wait until you’re more stable, or to be completely content with no children at all. You fully acknowledge however, that simply having the ability to procreate is amazing.  Even if for whatever reason the option is not open to you, remember that you yourself were the result of amazing circumstances. The whole process of conception and growth are mind-blowing, but you already knew that.

You’re Hilarious.

You may not be aware of just how funny you are. Do others begin to grin before you can even get a word out? Do they crack up and call you silly when you’re just being yourself? That tends to happen to funny people. Funny people have the ability to tell a simple story and unintentionally provoke laughter. It’s a gift. Own it.

You Dream Big.

Never one to miss out on letting others know your goals, you remind your family and friends that you’ll own your own business, finish writing your book or that once you’re earning the kind of money that allows you to make those large purchases, you’ll buy your mom a new car.  You may even daydream about home improvement projects that you’ll eventually get time to accomplish. Although your dreams are varied, they are achievable because you make it so. You’ll keep working at it until they become real. Not everyone has that kind of work ethic.

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You Have a Supportive Family.

You understand that family dynamics differ greatly. Some people are members of a huge family that share the same last name and distinctive features. Then there’s the people who have a blended family made up of halves, steps and adopted individuals – some of whom they’re close to and others, not so much. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Those family members that share a connection have the ability to encourage one another and make it known that even in times that they feel alone, they’re never truly alone.

All families aren’t made up of those that are related. Some families consist of a tightly knit group of individuals who trust and rely on each other for fun just as much as they rely on one another for support.

Then there’s you. You weren’t particularly close to all of your family members but you did however, start a family of your own. No one can rival the bond you have with your kids. Plenty of people long for that.

The List Goes On.

One of the most desirable traits that you carry is your ability to admit to failures, accept them and move on. If only everyone could learn to do that.  Actually, there’s a whole list of things that make you pretty awesome. You’ve got people wishing they were you because:

You Have Some Serious Will Power

You Know How to Rock a Pair of Jeans

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You Smell Really Good

You Create Tasty Meals

You Can Power Nap like Nobody’s Business

When You Smile, It’s Like Magic

You’re that Person that Can Draw More than Just Stick Figures

Your Bedtime Stories are the Best

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Your Hair Blows in the Wind

You Don’t Use the Snooze Button – Well Not All the Time

You Understand the Brilliance of Arrested Development

You Don’t Sweat, You Glisten

You’re Faithful to Your Partner OR You’re Single and Loving It

You’ve Got Great Eyes

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You Can Play An Instrument (But Haven’t Touched it in Years)

You Exercise Patience

You’re at least one of these things: Cute, Hot, Beautiful or Handsome. Don’t argue; You are.

You’re Eating Something Delicious as You Read This

You Don’t Dance Well, But You’re Not Afraid to Bust out Your Go-to Move in Public

You Are Capable of Just About Anything

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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