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7 Reasons Others Wish They Were You

7 Reasons Others Wish They Were You
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It’s about time you get rid of those bashful tendencies and own up to the fact that you have some pretty enviable qualities. Sure there are days that you wish you were somewhere or someone else, but the fact is, people wish they were you. It’s easy to discredit this thought, believing rather that with the flaws you have and the mistakes you’ve made, surely there is another more suitable candidate for others to aspire to be, but you’re wrong. As far as those flaws and mistakes go, no one is perfect. You deserve all this adoration. Here’s why:

You’re Intelligent.

Defined as the ability to learn and understand things, intelligence is unique to every person. When you truly think about it, everyone carries a great deal of knowledge about some particular topic. Whether you have the ability to solve complex chemical equations or you’re very crafty when it comes to repairing cars – your talents and knowledge lie in special areas.  Who wouldn’t want to know as much as you do concerning the one thing you’re most passionate about? You’re awesome at it and it really shows.

You Have the Voice of an Angel.

Or maybe you don’t.  But when you’re hanging out or driving around with the stereo up, it doesn’t matter how horribly out-of-tune you may be, your favorite line of a song is coming up so there’s no doubt you’re going to sing along. That song matches your mood perfectly today, and it feels great to belt out that melody. Just think of everyone that’s stuck at work or in a quiet classroom that can’t rock out the way you can. They’re wishing they were you.

You Created a Human.

Or maybe you didn’t. That’s cool too. You’re confident in the decision you made to have your little one, to wait until you’re more stable, or to be completely content with no children at all. You fully acknowledge however, that simply having the ability to procreate is amazing.  Even if for whatever reason the option is not open to you, remember that you yourself were the result of amazing circumstances. The whole process of conception and growth are mind-blowing, but you already knew that.

You’re Hilarious.

You may not be aware of just how funny you are. Do others begin to grin before you can even get a word out? Do they crack up and call you silly when you’re just being yourself? That tends to happen to funny people. Funny people have the ability to tell a simple story and unintentionally provoke laughter. It’s a gift. Own it.

You Dream Big.

Never one to miss out on letting others know your goals, you remind your family and friends that you’ll own your own business, finish writing your book or that once you’re earning the kind of money that allows you to make those large purchases, you’ll buy your mom a new car.  You may even daydream about home improvement projects that you’ll eventually get time to accomplish. Although your dreams are varied, they are achievable because you make it so. You’ll keep working at it until they become real. Not everyone has that kind of work ethic.

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You Have a Supportive Family.

You understand that family dynamics differ greatly. Some people are members of a huge family that share the same last name and distinctive features. Then there’s the people who have a blended family made up of halves, steps and adopted individuals – some of whom they’re close to and others, not so much. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Those family members that share a connection have the ability to encourage one another and make it known that even in times that they feel alone, they’re never truly alone.

All families aren’t made up of those that are related. Some families consist of a tightly knit group of individuals who trust and rely on each other for fun just as much as they rely on one another for support.

Then there’s you. You weren’t particularly close to all of your family members but you did however, start a family of your own. No one can rival the bond you have with your kids. Plenty of people long for that.

The List Goes On.

One of the most desirable traits that you carry is your ability to admit to failures, accept them and move on. If only everyone could learn to do that.  Actually, there’s a whole list of things that make you pretty awesome. You’ve got people wishing they were you because:

You Have Some Serious Will Power

You Know How to Rock a Pair of Jeans

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You Smell Really Good

You Create Tasty Meals

You Can Power Nap like Nobody’s Business

When You Smile, It’s Like Magic

You’re that Person that Can Draw More than Just Stick Figures

Your Bedtime Stories are the Best

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Your Hair Blows in the Wind

You Don’t Use the Snooze Button – Well Not All the Time

You Understand the Brilliance of Arrested Development

You Don’t Sweat, You Glisten

You’re Faithful to Your Partner OR You’re Single and Loving It

You’ve Got Great Eyes

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You Can Play An Instrument (But Haven’t Touched it in Years)

You Exercise Patience

You’re at least one of these things: Cute, Hot, Beautiful or Handsome. Don’t argue; You are.

You’re Eating Something Delicious as You Read This

You Don’t Dance Well, But You’re Not Afraid to Bust out Your Go-to Move in Public

You Are Capable of Just About Anything

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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