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7 Reasons Others Wish They Were You

7 Reasons Others Wish They Were You

It’s about time you get rid of those bashful tendencies and own up to the fact that you have some pretty enviable qualities. Sure there are days that you wish you were somewhere or someone else, but the fact is, people wish they were you. It’s easy to discredit this thought, believing rather that with the flaws you have and the mistakes you’ve made, surely there is another more suitable candidate for others to aspire to be, but you’re wrong. As far as those flaws and mistakes go, no one is perfect. You deserve all this adoration. Here’s why:

You’re Intelligent.

Defined as the ability to learn and understand things, intelligence is unique to every person. When you truly think about it, everyone carries a great deal of knowledge about some particular topic. Whether you have the ability to solve complex chemical equations or you’re very crafty when it comes to repairing cars – your talents and knowledge lie in special areas.  Who wouldn’t want to know as much as you do concerning the one thing you’re most passionate about? You’re awesome at it and it really shows.

You Have the Voice of an Angel.

Or maybe you don’t.  But when you’re hanging out or driving around with the stereo up, it doesn’t matter how horribly out-of-tune you may be, your favorite line of a song is coming up so there’s no doubt you’re going to sing along. That song matches your mood perfectly today, and it feels great to belt out that melody. Just think of everyone that’s stuck at work or in a quiet classroom that can’t rock out the way you can. They’re wishing they were you.

You Created a Human.

Or maybe you didn’t. That’s cool too. You’re confident in the decision you made to have your little one, to wait until you’re more stable, or to be completely content with no children at all. You fully acknowledge however, that simply having the ability to procreate is amazing.  Even if for whatever reason the option is not open to you, remember that you yourself were the result of amazing circumstances. The whole process of conception and growth are mind-blowing, but you already knew that.

You’re Hilarious.

You may not be aware of just how funny you are. Do others begin to grin before you can even get a word out? Do they crack up and call you silly when you’re just being yourself? That tends to happen to funny people. Funny people have the ability to tell a simple story and unintentionally provoke laughter. It’s a gift. Own it.

You Dream Big.

Never one to miss out on letting others know your goals, you remind your family and friends that you’ll own your own business, finish writing your book or that once you’re earning the kind of money that allows you to make those large purchases, you’ll buy your mom a new car.  You may even daydream about home improvement projects that you’ll eventually get time to accomplish. Although your dreams are varied, they are achievable because you make it so. You’ll keep working at it until they become real. Not everyone has that kind of work ethic.

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You Have a Supportive Family.

You understand that family dynamics differ greatly. Some people are members of a huge family that share the same last name and distinctive features. Then there’s the people who have a blended family made up of halves, steps and adopted individuals – some of whom they’re close to and others, not so much. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Those family members that share a connection have the ability to encourage one another and make it known that even in times that they feel alone, they’re never truly alone.

All families aren’t made up of those that are related. Some families consist of a tightly knit group of individuals who trust and rely on each other for fun just as much as they rely on one another for support.

Then there’s you. You weren’t particularly close to all of your family members but you did however, start a family of your own. No one can rival the bond you have with your kids. Plenty of people long for that.

The List Goes On.

One of the most desirable traits that you carry is your ability to admit to failures, accept them and move on. If only everyone could learn to do that.  Actually, there’s a whole list of things that make you pretty awesome. You’ve got people wishing they were you because:

You Have Some Serious Will Power

You Know How to Rock a Pair of Jeans

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You Smell Really Good

You Create Tasty Meals

You Can Power Nap like Nobody’s Business

When You Smile, It’s Like Magic

You’re that Person that Can Draw More than Just Stick Figures

Your Bedtime Stories are the Best

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Your Hair Blows in the Wind

You Don’t Use the Snooze Button – Well Not All the Time

You Understand the Brilliance of Arrested Development

You Don’t Sweat, You Glisten

You’re Faithful to Your Partner OR You’re Single and Loving It

You’ve Got Great Eyes

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You Can Play An Instrument (But Haven’t Touched it in Years)

You Exercise Patience

You’re at least one of these things: Cute, Hot, Beautiful or Handsome. Don’t argue; You are.

You’re Eating Something Delicious as You Read This

You Don’t Dance Well, But You’re Not Afraid to Bust out Your Go-to Move in Public

You Are Capable of Just About Anything

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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