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5 Things Only Your First Love Can Teach You

5 Things Only Your First Love Can Teach You

As much as we’d like to believe romantic movies and television shows, real love is something wonderful, but complex. Moving from childlike romantic ideals to real life love is exciting and challenging. Your first love will open your eyes to adult relationships, plus show you a thing or two about loving yourself. Regardless of where the relationship ends up, your first love comes with some incredibly important life lessons.

Conflict can be healthy

No relationship will be smooth sailing from start to finish. No matter how much you care about someone, or how much you have in common, there will be times when you disagree. The difference with someone who truly loves you is that the focus will be on resolving the conflict, not winning a fight. When fights turn into discussions, which grow into heart-to-hearts, you know you’re handling confit in a productive way. Sacrifice, compromise, and communication will soon take the place of quarreling or arguing. There’s nothing like loving someone so much you’d rather lose an argument than see them upset.

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Your body issues aren’t really issues

All of us have hang-ups about our appearance, but being with your first love will make you view yourself in a different way. Experiencing love will make it clear that what you think is wrong with your body isn’t a big deal. In fact, significant others will often adore the qualities you think are flaws. Most importantly, your first love will teach you that perfection isn’t what is attractive, and people come in all sorts of stunning appearances. Your first love will surely teach you to see your body in a more positive way, regardless of the road your relationship takes.

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Selflessness is a virtue

If you’re like most of us, the biggest concerns in life are things that affect you. While a self-centered approach is often valuable in career and education endeavors, selfishness is a healthy relationship’s Kryptonite. Learning to share your time and space long-term will be absolutely crucial to a successful love life in the future. First loves challenge our selfishness.

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You’re too hard on yourself

Many of us hold what we think are high standards for ourselves, but they are in fact impossible standards. Having an outside perspective from someone who truly cares can help you see your flawed logic. Ultimately, if you would be soft on a friend in the same situation, there’s no need to be hard on yourself. If your relationship’s a healthy one, your first love will undoubtedly challenge this habit. 

Relationships need love too

Maintaining a relationship is much different than casually dating or starting a relationship. To truly care for someone else takes effort and longevity. Your first love will undoubtedly make you more thoughtful and active in sharing your affection. Unfortunately, sometimes love alone isn’t enough to maintain a relationship. As much as we wish they wouldn’t, exterior factors have a big impact on our relationships. Your first love is likely the first time you’ll meet these challenges, making it a true learning experience. Learning how to care for someone over time, and how to make the right decisions for your situation, is a critical lesson we take from our first love.

Featured photo credit: Untitled/bailey.foster via flickr.com

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Alicia Prince

A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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