Advertising
Advertising

5 Things Only Your First Love Can Teach You

5 Things Only Your First Love Can Teach You

As much as we’d like to believe romantic movies and television shows, real love is something wonderful, but complex. Moving from childlike romantic ideals to real life love is exciting and challenging. Your first love will open your eyes to adult relationships, plus show you a thing or two about loving yourself. Regardless of where the relationship ends up, your first love comes with some incredibly important life lessons.

Conflict can be healthy

No relationship will be smooth sailing from start to finish. No matter how much you care about someone, or how much you have in common, there will be times when you disagree. The difference with someone who truly loves you is that the focus will be on resolving the conflict, not winning a fight. When fights turn into discussions, which grow into heart-to-hearts, you know you’re handling confit in a productive way. Sacrifice, compromise, and communication will soon take the place of quarreling or arguing. There’s nothing like loving someone so much you’d rather lose an argument than see them upset.

Advertising

Your body issues aren’t really issues

All of us have hang-ups about our appearance, but being with your first love will make you view yourself in a different way. Experiencing love will make it clear that what you think is wrong with your body isn’t a big deal. In fact, significant others will often adore the qualities you think are flaws. Most importantly, your first love will teach you that perfection isn’t what is attractive, and people come in all sorts of stunning appearances. Your first love will surely teach you to see your body in a more positive way, regardless of the road your relationship takes.

Advertising

Selflessness is a virtue

If you’re like most of us, the biggest concerns in life are things that affect you. While a self-centered approach is often valuable in career and education endeavors, selfishness is a healthy relationship’s Kryptonite. Learning to share your time and space long-term will be absolutely crucial to a successful love life in the future. First loves challenge our selfishness.

Advertising

You’re too hard on yourself

Many of us hold what we think are high standards for ourselves, but they are in fact impossible standards. Having an outside perspective from someone who truly cares can help you see your flawed logic. Ultimately, if you would be soft on a friend in the same situation, there’s no need to be hard on yourself. If your relationship’s a healthy one, your first love will undoubtedly challenge this habit. 

Relationships need love too

Maintaining a relationship is much different than casually dating or starting a relationship. To truly care for someone else takes effort and longevity. Your first love will undoubtedly make you more thoughtful and active in sharing your affection. Unfortunately, sometimes love alone isn’t enough to maintain a relationship. As much as we wish they wouldn’t, exterior factors have a big impact on our relationships. Your first love is likely the first time you’ll meet these challenges, making it a true learning experience. Learning how to care for someone over time, and how to make the right decisions for your situation, is a critical lesson we take from our first love.

Featured photo credit: Untitled/bailey.foster via flickr.com

Advertising

More by this author

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen 10 Things You Should Do If You’re Unemployed common words 18 Common Words That You Should Replace in Your Writing Wondering Why K Pop is So Popular? Here are 10 Reasons The 10 Most (And Least) Expensive States In America

Trending in Communication

1 7 Ways To Deal With Negative People 2 How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward 3 What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships 4 How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence 5 This 4-Year Old Girl’s Explanation On the Problem with New Year’s Resolutions Is Everything You Need

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

Advertising

In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

Advertising

But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

Advertising

5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

Advertising

You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

Read Next