Advertising
Advertising

5 Baneful Blessings that are Real Life Mentors

5 Baneful Blessings that are Real Life Mentors

No matter how much you are being plunged into all those earnest advises about life by the so-called experts, nothing can rescue you than Life itself. You must have cursed Life several times; when things have gone wrong, when you were not happy, or even you may have cursed someone just a second before he did something you never expected of him. Think for a moment and you will realize that all these real life baneful things changed you from what you were in the past.

Don’t react to my advise, but contemplate it, and see if you agree with the five baneful blessings of life that Life throws our way but become real life mentors.

Advertising

1. Rejection

There are moments in life when you, your work or even your thoughts have been rejected by someone. You very well know the pain you might have gone through because of rejection. And yet, there was a lesson in that rejection: self-belief. It was what you did after the hopeless moment of rejection that matters most in life. Many famous people, like Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, Paulo Coelho, have outgrown these baneful rejections. If the thoughts of previous rejection reflects a more strong individual in you now, Life has mentored you well.

2. Solitude

The state of living alone or feeling lonely is considered the worst condition in life. The fear of seclusion makes you go awry. In your upright busy schedule you try not to be left alone. Even the small time that is available during weekends is spent socializing with others, or watching TV, in spite of knowing the fact that all the best things available in the world had been conceptualized in a moment of solitude. Think of a time when life must have thrown you in seclusion, when you met your fear. You might be alone, all scared and afraid to do a certain thing by yourself. For example, when you entered a new college and had to leave all your school friends behind, or when you started a new job where there were no familiar faces. And yet you did your best and learned important lessons of life. Nothing can take the place of what solitude can teach you in life.

Advertising

3. Inferiority complex

The lack of self-worth or doubt in your abilities is the worst kind of situation you might go through in life. This inferiority complex might have crept in each of us at several points in life. The earliest sign of it in your life could have been when your parents criticized you for not living up to their expectations in school, in any competitive exam, or in your social circle. This baneful thing has taught you several lessons which are otherwise elusive. You learned the way to dress, the way to express yourself, even your updated knowledge about current affairs is a way to come out of this dogma of inferiority. This feeling of uncertainty about your weaknesses makes you focus more on your strong points. Self-confidence was the thing Life trained you in.

4. Altercations

We all try to dodge angry or heated arguments with our near and dear ones. You don’t wish to get hurt by others, and you don’t want to hurt them in return. But no matter how careful you are, altercations happen. And the worst thing is that you don’t feel as dreadful during an altercation as after it’s over. These altercations are a way of purging your sulking heart. They bring out all the pent up emotions that must have been stored in the past. And most will agree that an altercation reveals the true identity of the people involved. That is why lovers are brought closer and enemies become more distant after confrontations.

Advertising

5. An insidious clique

This is the most common way in which life teaches us a lot. You must have been surrounded by certain insidious or cunning people who depict themselves as your well-wishers. Initially they even might have convinced you to think so. But gradually you were able to see their true colors. Those that belong to this insidious clique will try to use you in the best of their opportunity until you realize they are just here to bring more harm to your life. Such a kind of group of people exist in your life to enlighten you more about Life; it helps to ensure you enter the outside world less gullible.

Having read the five baneful things, do you feel that any one of them acted as your life mentor or changed you from what you were in the past? If the answer is yes, and if the change was positive, you could very well rejoice for being a good learner and can say aloud the beautiful lines of a poem by H W Longfellow:

Advertising

Let Us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Featured photo credit: Seascape/Marie Lespecier via flickr.com

More by this author

42 Pieces Of Life Advice That’s Never Too Late For Anyone To Know 5 Baneful Blessings that are Real Life Mentors 10 Things Nothing Else But A Heartbreak Will Teach You 5 Hazardous Habits That Kill Your Life’s Dream

Trending in Communication

1 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 2 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You 3 The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life 4 14 Things That Make You Happy and Enjoy Life More 5 Focus On Yourself, Because Most Of The Time No One Really Cares

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

Advertising

Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

Advertising

Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

Advertising

When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

Advertising

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next