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20 Amazing Moments Only People Who Have Been In Love Understand

20 Amazing Moments Only People Who Have Been In Love Understand

Being in love changes everything. Our whole perspective on life shifts into a new reality. Precious moments of insight and awareness reveal themselves in the most unexpected of places and leave marks you’ll always remember. Here are 20 of those often fleeting moments you’ll be familiar with if you’ve ever been in love.

1. When everyone else around you seems to vanish

You’re surrounded by people, perhaps on a dance floor or city street, yet to you they become nothing more than faint outlines. They are there but they are not there, unreal and irrelevant when face to face with the one you love.

2. When you realize an inhibition has been overcome

You never thought it was possible. You imagined you’d hide your weakness from people forever. Then suddenly, in a blink of an eye and without any resistance, you reveal yourself completely to your love, and it feels wonderful and natural.

3. When making them laugh makes you insanely happy

As their eyes shine and their lips curve around peals of laughter, an overwhelming feeling of joy fills your heart. It’s breathtaking and all you want to do is hold them and make them laugh forever.

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4. When their encouraging look fuels your courage

Doubt and uncertainty can fill even the strongest of minds. However, when the one you love looks you in the eyes with complete faith and confidence in your abilities, you feel invincible. You know they have your back.

5. When your chest heaves with longing to touch them

You’re at work or driving to the store. A turn of phrase or a song on the radio suddenly reminds you of them. Like being hit with a wave of emotion, your whole body aches for their touch.

6. When you see colors more brightly and hear music more vibrantly

Everything around you appears in dazzling color. Flowers shine with hues from an artist’s palate and the sky becomes an awesome blue. Music dances in the air, rippling happily across surfaces with an almost tangible energy.

7. When mutual silence is an orchestra of happiness

A friend sends you a text message. As you look at your phone you realize you’ve been reading or watching TV for nearly an hour. Your lover is in the same room and not a word has been uttered for all that time yet you’re both perfectly content.

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8. When you’d rather listen to their voice than anything else

They are telling you about their day or about a passion they have. You’re listening to their words but also to the melody of their voice. It’s the most beautiful sound you can remember hearing. You don’t want them to stop.

9. When you can’t put into words how you feel

As you make love and kiss into the night, you know words will never describe the feelings you possess for the one you love. Then you become aware it doesn’t matter because where your souls meet in the silent darkness, everything is understood.

10. When reality seems to transform itself as you embrace

You feel the frame of their body against yours, the warmth of their lips and the expression of their love. At that moment reality turns itself splendidly inside out and time ceases to be linear. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is real.

11. When you feel all your worries fade away

All day you’ve been stressed and worried. Your muscles are tense and sore. Nothing can distract your mind from the negativity. Until, that is, you touch the one you love. Like melting snow, everything feels right with the world once again.

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12. When you realize the relationship is the most important thing to you

Our careers can take over large parts of our lives and fill our day-to-day focus. They’re important but as you walk with your love one Sunday afternoon, you understand in a heartbeat there’s something much more valuable needing cultivation.

13. When poetry and art takes on new meanings

As you’re waiting for a meeting or an appointment, you notice a painting on the wall. It’s one you’ve seen before but now it seems completely different. It has meaning you didn’t previously notice and a richness of depth that reminds you of the love you feel.

14. When you feel freedom instead of confinement

You’ve been in each other’s company non-stop all week. With anyone else you’d be gasping for alone time or to engage with your friends. But you’re not. You feel an immense sense of freedom and liberty in their company, and this makes you so happy.

15. When you realize you have been changed forever

The room is dark and you listen to the gentle rise and fall of your lover’s breath. As you do so, you understand your life will never be the same again. The impact they have made on you will remain, whether you’re together forever or just for a summer.

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16. When the other person reveals something about you through their eyes

Music fills the air as you look into each other’s eyes. You see your reflection and the curvature of the room. But you also see something else. You see a jewel inside yourself you never saw before, until they revealed it with their loving gaze.

17. When you discover a fight has made you stronger

Shouting has echoed through the house. Tears are dried and soothing words replace harsh accusations. As your bodies entwine you realize the heat of this argument has cleared a broad path along which your relationship can move positively forwards.

18. When you realize solitude is when they’re far away

As you listen to your colleagues talking and laughing, you discover there’s a shroud of solitude surrounding you. It’s not a painful or sad isolation but rather a disconnection, cured only by the presence of the one you love.

19. When you believe you’d rather die with them than live without them

You’re watching a romantic movie. One of the main characters is killed or dies of an illness and leaves behind a grieving partner. The storyline makes you think of your own relationship and, if only for a brief moment, you genuinely believe you’d prefer to die with your lover than live without them.

20. When you feel your story will live on forever, somewhere

That moment when you’re sure the love you feel will outlive the both of you and exist somewhere, somehow, in some way. You think about it when you throw that pebble into the river or the sea, and know it’ll have your story etched upon it, forever.

Featured photo credit: Attractive young man carrying his pretty girlfriend and kissing. Mixed race couple in love outdoors in park. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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