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20 Amazing Moments Only People Who Have Been In Love Understand

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20 Amazing Moments Only People Who Have Been In Love Understand

Being in love changes everything. Our whole perspective on life shifts into a new reality. Precious moments of insight and awareness reveal themselves in the most unexpected of places and leave marks you’ll always remember. Here are 20 of those often fleeting moments you’ll be familiar with if you’ve ever been in love.

1. When everyone else around you seems to vanish

You’re surrounded by people, perhaps on a dance floor or city street, yet to you they become nothing more than faint outlines. They are there but they are not there, unreal and irrelevant when face to face with the one you love.

2. When you realize an inhibition has been overcome

You never thought it was possible. You imagined you’d hide your weakness from people forever. Then suddenly, in a blink of an eye and without any resistance, you reveal yourself completely to your love, and it feels wonderful and natural.

3. When making them laugh makes you insanely happy

As their eyes shine and their lips curve around peals of laughter, an overwhelming feeling of joy fills your heart. It’s breathtaking and all you want to do is hold them and make them laugh forever.

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4. When their encouraging look fuels your courage

Doubt and uncertainty can fill even the strongest of minds. However, when the one you love looks you in the eyes with complete faith and confidence in your abilities, you feel invincible. You know they have your back.

5. When your chest heaves with longing to touch them

You’re at work or driving to the store. A turn of phrase or a song on the radio suddenly reminds you of them. Like being hit with a wave of emotion, your whole body aches for their touch.

6. When you see colors more brightly and hear music more vibrantly

Everything around you appears in dazzling color. Flowers shine with hues from an artist’s palate and the sky becomes an awesome blue. Music dances in the air, rippling happily across surfaces with an almost tangible energy.

7. When mutual silence is an orchestra of happiness

A friend sends you a text message. As you look at your phone you realize you’ve been reading or watching TV for nearly an hour. Your lover is in the same room and not a word has been uttered for all that time yet you’re both perfectly content.

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8. When you’d rather listen to their voice than anything else

They are telling you about their day or about a passion they have. You’re listening to their words but also to the melody of their voice. It’s the most beautiful sound you can remember hearing. You don’t want them to stop.

9. When you can’t put into words how you feel

As you make love and kiss into the night, you know words will never describe the feelings you possess for the one you love. Then you become aware it doesn’t matter because where your souls meet in the silent darkness, everything is understood.

10. When reality seems to transform itself as you embrace

You feel the frame of their body against yours, the warmth of their lips and the expression of their love. At that moment reality turns itself splendidly inside out and time ceases to be linear. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is real.

11. When you feel all your worries fade away

All day you’ve been stressed and worried. Your muscles are tense and sore. Nothing can distract your mind from the negativity. Until, that is, you touch the one you love. Like melting snow, everything feels right with the world once again.

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12. When you realize the relationship is the most important thing to you

Our careers can take over large parts of our lives and fill our day-to-day focus. They’re important but as you walk with your love one Sunday afternoon, you understand in a heartbeat there’s something much more valuable needing cultivation.

13. When poetry and art takes on new meanings

As you’re waiting for a meeting or an appointment, you notice a painting on the wall. It’s one you’ve seen before but now it seems completely different. It has meaning you didn’t previously notice and a richness of depth that reminds you of the love you feel.

14. When you feel freedom instead of confinement

You’ve been in each other’s company non-stop all week. With anyone else you’d be gasping for alone time or to engage with your friends. But you’re not. You feel an immense sense of freedom and liberty in their company, and this makes you so happy.

15. When you realize you have been changed forever

The room is dark and you listen to the gentle rise and fall of your lover’s breath. As you do so, you understand your life will never be the same again. The impact they have made on you will remain, whether you’re together forever or just for a summer.

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16. When the other person reveals something about you through their eyes

Music fills the air as you look into each other’s eyes. You see your reflection and the curvature of the room. But you also see something else. You see a jewel inside yourself you never saw before, until they revealed it with their loving gaze.

17. When you discover a fight has made you stronger

Shouting has echoed through the house. Tears are dried and soothing words replace harsh accusations. As your bodies entwine you realize the heat of this argument has cleared a broad path along which your relationship can move positively forwards.

18. When you realize solitude is when they’re far away

As you listen to your colleagues talking and laughing, you discover there’s a shroud of solitude surrounding you. It’s not a painful or sad isolation but rather a disconnection, cured only by the presence of the one you love.

19. When you believe you’d rather die with them than live without them

You’re watching a romantic movie. One of the main characters is killed or dies of an illness and leaves behind a grieving partner. The storyline makes you think of your own relationship and, if only for a brief moment, you genuinely believe you’d prefer to die with your lover than live without them.

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20. When you feel your story will live on forever, somewhere

That moment when you’re sure the love you feel will outlive the both of you and exist somewhere, somehow, in some way. You think about it when you throw that pebble into the river or the sea, and know it’ll have your story etched upon it, forever.

Featured photo credit: Attractive young man carrying his pretty girlfriend and kissing. Mixed race couple in love outdoors in park. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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