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Don’t Go Into Marriage If You Haven’t Done These Things

Don’t Go Into Marriage If You Haven’t Done These Things

Congrats, you two are happily engaged!

It most likely was a long path to get to where you are, wasn’t it? Behind every successful marriage, are two people who have done some tremendous things before deciding they’re ready to take the next step. Have you considered a “must-do” list before putting the ring on your finger? Maybe you should, as there are things everyone needs to do before getting married.

1. Get your heart broken.

Sounds cliche, but true. Dealing with a breakup teaches you about what went wrong in your relationship and how you can prevent them from happening again.

2. Experiment With Online Dating.

You need to learn to take credit for all your strengths and general awesomeness right?

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3. Learn From Your Relationship Mistakes.

Look back at your past? What part did you play in the destruction of that relationship? Did you take them for granted? Were you neglectful? Critical? These are all very important things to ask yourself before moving on to a new relationship so you can be a better version of you and not make the same mistake.

4. Fall in Love, More Than Once.

You need to find out what kind of relationship or partner you want for the rest of your life, so get out there and figure it out.

5. Come Up With a Definitive List of What You Won’t Compromise On in a Relationship.

These are normally called deal breakers. You have values that your partner shouldn’t make you compromise just like they have values that you shouldn’t ask them to compromise either. Talk it out and see where each of you stand.

6. Learn to Trust Others.

Trust is one of the most important (if not THE most important) thing to have in a relationship. If you don’t trust your future partner, how will you create a solid marriage?

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7. Learn Not to Make Being Married Your Sole Identity.

You need to be your own person and not to rely on someone else solely to define you.

8. Spend Time Alone.

The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more likely you are to attract someone who will be comfortable with you.

9. Get to Know All the Facts.

You need to talk about all the boring stuff, like financial matters and health before taking the leap into marriage. Would you rather find out your partner is $30,000 in debt before you got married, or after?

10. Live with someone that is not a member of your family.

Think of it as testing the waters before getting married. You want to know if you can live with your future spouse!

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11. Spend some time on your career.

Again, cliche but true. You need to work on yourself before being able to fully commit in a relationship.

12. Spend time around kids.

This will help you decide whether or not you want them and to let your partner know where you stand regarding children before you tie the knot.

13. Figure out why you want to get married.

Do you genuinely love your partner? Or do you just like the idea of getting married? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them? Do you just want to wear a wedding gown and have a big fancy party? Or do you think it’s just something you now have to do because you’re getting older? Find out your true intentions before making the leap.

14. Learn to fight fairly.

Disagreements will inevitably happen with your future spouse. Learn to fight fairly now before you say something you’ll regret after you’re married.

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15. Learn to love people as they are.

Don’t expect people to change for you. Marrying your partner means you’ll accept for their strengths AND weaknesses.

16. Learn to DIY.

How can you nurture a marriage if you cannot learn to take care of yourself first? Consider learning how to cook or become the handyman around the house.

17. Meet your future spouse’s friends.

You might be able to pick up on red flags that could hint at why you might not want to marry this person. Or to confirm that your decision is completely spot on.

18. Meet your future spouse’s family.

You’re not just marrying your spouse, you’re marrying into the family. Figure out if you can deal with their family drama beforehand.

19. Get to know yourself.

A no-brainer here. If you don’t know who you are and aren’t comfortable in your own skin, how could you possibly know what type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

20. Learn to apologize sincerely.

We screw up from time to time. Admitting it shows your partner that you’re mature and you’re willing to do what it takes to make things right.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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