Advertising
Advertising

Don’t Go Into Marriage If You Haven’t Done These Things

Don’t Go Into Marriage If You Haven’t Done These Things

Congrats, you two are happily engaged!

It most likely was a long path to get to where you are, wasn’t it? Behind every successful marriage, are two people who have done some tremendous things before deciding they’re ready to take the next step. Have you considered a “must-do” list before putting the ring on your finger? Maybe you should, as there are things everyone needs to do before getting married.

1. Get your heart broken.

Sounds cliche, but true. Dealing with a breakup teaches you about what went wrong in your relationship and how you can prevent them from happening again.

2. Experiment With Online Dating.

You need to learn to take credit for all your strengths and general awesomeness right?

Advertising

3. Learn From Your Relationship Mistakes.

Look back at your past? What part did you play in the destruction of that relationship? Did you take them for granted? Were you neglectful? Critical? These are all very important things to ask yourself before moving on to a new relationship so you can be a better version of you and not make the same mistake.

4. Fall in Love, More Than Once.

You need to find out what kind of relationship or partner you want for the rest of your life, so get out there and figure it out.

5. Come Up With a Definitive List of What You Won’t Compromise On in a Relationship.

These are normally called deal breakers. You have values that your partner shouldn’t make you compromise just like they have values that you shouldn’t ask them to compromise either. Talk it out and see where each of you stand.

6. Learn to Trust Others.

Trust is one of the most important (if not THE most important) thing to have in a relationship. If you don’t trust your future partner, how will you create a solid marriage?

Advertising

7. Learn Not to Make Being Married Your Sole Identity.

You need to be your own person and not to rely on someone else solely to define you.

8. Spend Time Alone.

The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more likely you are to attract someone who will be comfortable with you.

9. Get to Know All the Facts.

You need to talk about all the boring stuff, like financial matters and health before taking the leap into marriage. Would you rather find out your partner is $30,000 in debt before you got married, or after?

10. Live with someone that is not a member of your family.

Think of it as testing the waters before getting married. You want to know if you can live with your future spouse!

Advertising

11. Spend some time on your career.

Again, cliche but true. You need to work on yourself before being able to fully commit in a relationship.

12. Spend time around kids.

This will help you decide whether or not you want them and to let your partner know where you stand regarding children before you tie the knot.

13. Figure out why you want to get married.

Do you genuinely love your partner? Or do you just like the idea of getting married? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them? Do you just want to wear a wedding gown and have a big fancy party? Or do you think it’s just something you now have to do because you’re getting older? Find out your true intentions before making the leap.

14. Learn to fight fairly.

Disagreements will inevitably happen with your future spouse. Learn to fight fairly now before you say something you’ll regret after you’re married.

Advertising

15. Learn to love people as they are.

Don’t expect people to change for you. Marrying your partner means you’ll accept for their strengths AND weaknesses.

16. Learn to DIY.

How can you nurture a marriage if you cannot learn to take care of yourself first? Consider learning how to cook or become the handyman around the house.

17. Meet your future spouse’s friends.

You might be able to pick up on red flags that could hint at why you might not want to marry this person. Or to confirm that your decision is completely spot on.

18. Meet your future spouse’s family.

You’re not just marrying your spouse, you’re marrying into the family. Figure out if you can deal with their family drama beforehand.

19. Get to know yourself.

A no-brainer here. If you don’t know who you are and aren’t comfortable in your own skin, how could you possibly know what type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

20. Learn to apologize sincerely.

We screw up from time to time. Admitting it shows your partner that you’re mature and you’re willing to do what it takes to make things right.

More by this author

Don’t Go Into Marriage If You Haven’t Done These Things 30 Things You Need to Experience to Understand How Amazing Life is Facebook TouchGraph 10 Brilliant Tools For Managing And Boosting Your Professional Network 10 Things That People Love About You 10 Qualities That Will Make You Successful

Trending in Communication

1 How to Be Patient and Take Charge of Your Life 2 What Is Self-Actualization? 13 Traits of Self-Actualized People 3 5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today 4 5 Warning Signs That You’re a People Pleaser 5 How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

Advertising

Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

Advertising

But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

Advertising

3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

Advertising

5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

Read Next