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20 Signs You Have Found Your Perfect Boyfriend

20 Signs You Have Found Your Perfect Boyfriend

Life’s journey simply becomes more enjoyable, exciting and fulfilling when you have Mr. Right by your side.  But who is the ideal man, and how do you know that you have found him? While every woman has a different definition of what her “perfect” guy would be, these are 20 solid signs to indicate that your boyfriend is for keeps.

1. He appreciates who you are.

You are unique and wonderful in your own way. Whether you wake up the neighborhood with your bathroom singing or like solving Sudoku puzzles in the middle of the night, he accepts you exactly the way you are. He doesn’t want to change anything about you.

2. He keeps his promises.

It can be extremely annoying when a guy insists that he will do something, but never gets around to do it. A true gentleman doesn’t backtrack on his words, but walks the talk. You rest assured that he only makes commitments that he intends to keep.

3. He stands by you.

He may not agree with your every decision, but supports the choices you make. He is there for you in success and in failure, in health and in sickness, in laughter and in tears.

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4. He gives you space.

Psychologists say that having privacy in a relationship is more important than sex. The perfect boyfriend allows you enough me-time, and doesn’t try to sneak a peek into your personal diary. He doesn’t want you to lose the “I” in the “We.”

5. He is not jealous or insecure.

Did she just check him out? Who is that guy who texted her in the middle of the night? What is she doing on a Saturday night without me? Nope, this man doesn’t waste time on such silly questions. He trusts you and is certain that you trust him.

6. He gets along with your family.

You don’t need to fret when it comes to meeting the family. The perfect guy puts on his best behavior in front of your parents and tries to befriend your sibling. Dream come true when he comfortably fits in with your family on thanksgiving dinners.

7. He is interesting.

Life is too short to be thinking of other things when he is talking. Whatever his interests and passions, he is exciting and fun to be around. In fact, he will introduce you to a side of life that you haven’t seen before. I know someone who had never parasailed, driven a motorbike or been to an opera before she met her boyfriend.

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8. He favors mature arguments.

Let’s face it: Any two people will have different opinions and perspectives, inevitability leading to occasional arguments. But he focuses on the point in hand, through rational level-headed conversations. No blame game, dear.

9. He makes you feel beautiful.

You don’t have to be Scarlet Johansson or Angelina Jolie to feel pretty. When you are with him, you feel like the most attractive woman on Earth. He treats you like his princess, and rightfully so.

10. He is game to try your adventures.

The real guy accompanies you to the middle of Wisconsin because you threw a dart on the US map blindfolded and wanted to go there. He doesn’t complain; instead, he finds joy in being part of your bucket list.

11. He expresses his love.

He’s pretty much on top of his game when it comes to sweeping you off your feet, yet again. True to his own style, sometimes that can mean preparing a home cooked meal, surprising you at the airport or simply saying “I love you.

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12. He is your superhero.

When in danger, you can count on him to help. He will prevent your handbag from being stolen by a hoodlum. He will make sure you get home safe on a late night. He will come to your rescue in the middle of a riot. Most importantly, he is also smart enough to stay alive while being chivalrous and heroic.

13. He makes every effort to wipe away your tears.

You happiness is of utmost importance to him. In your moments of downtime, he tries to be funny, sexy or Superman, or pretty much anything that will bring a smile on your face.

14. He wants to introduce you to his friends.

Hiding you from his close pals and deliberately being “single” on Facebook can mean a red flag. A man in love wants you to be part of his social life and show you off to friends, because he thinks you are great.

15. He respects his mother.

Pay attention to his relationship with his mother, for it speaks volumes. A man who has a deep regard for his mother (different from a Mama’s boy) is most likely to respect and admire you, as well.

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16. He is irresistibly attractive, to you.

Women have varied opinions when it comes to who they find sexy, cute and handsome. As long as you find him eye-catching and can’t help but wishing to be in his arms, you are going the right way.

17. He is a source of inspiration.

Love is a motivation engine that drives you closer to your aspirations. The perfect boyfriend pushes your boundaries and inspires you to achieve the unimaginable. He understands that your dreams are of paramount importance, as are his. Plus, he’s got your back if you fall.

18. He is not a control freak.

Watch out for the guy who is overly generous about “constructive criticism,” has unrealistic expectations and wants to micromanage you. Who wants Hitler as a partner? Experiencing freedom in a relationship is not too much to ask for.

19. He is honest.

Forget the yes-man and people-pleaser. Truth is the foundation of a robust and lasting relationship. It saves you from unnecessary misunderstandings and helps build trust quickly.

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20. He makes you a better person.

You are already amazing, but being with him brings out the best in you. It’s like having a personal male cheerleader! Your strengths are further amplified, and you think life just can’t get any better.

Remember that perfection doesn’t exist, but there is someone imperfectly perfect out there for you. And I hope that all you remarkable women find The One and end up marrying him — just like me.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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