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20 Signs You Have Found Your Perfect Boyfriend

20 Signs You Have Found Your Perfect Boyfriend

Life’s journey simply becomes more enjoyable, exciting and fulfilling when you have Mr. Right by your side.  But who is the ideal man, and how do you know that you have found him? While every woman has a different definition of what her “perfect” guy would be, these are 20 solid signs to indicate that your boyfriend is for keeps.

1. He appreciates who you are.

You are unique and wonderful in your own way. Whether you wake up the neighborhood with your bathroom singing or like solving Sudoku puzzles in the middle of the night, he accepts you exactly the way you are. He doesn’t want to change anything about you.

2. He keeps his promises.

It can be extremely annoying when a guy insists that he will do something, but never gets around to do it. A true gentleman doesn’t backtrack on his words, but walks the talk. You rest assured that he only makes commitments that he intends to keep.

3. He stands by you.

He may not agree with your every decision, but supports the choices you make. He is there for you in success and in failure, in health and in sickness, in laughter and in tears.

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4. He gives you space.

Psychologists say that having privacy in a relationship is more important than sex. The perfect boyfriend allows you enough me-time, and doesn’t try to sneak a peek into your personal diary. He doesn’t want you to lose the “I” in the “We.”

5. He is not jealous or insecure.

Did she just check him out? Who is that guy who texted her in the middle of the night? What is she doing on a Saturday night without me? Nope, this man doesn’t waste time on such silly questions. He trusts you and is certain that you trust him.

6. He gets along with your family.

You don’t need to fret when it comes to meeting the family. The perfect guy puts on his best behavior in front of your parents and tries to befriend your sibling. Dream come true when he comfortably fits in with your family on thanksgiving dinners.

7. He is interesting.

Life is too short to be thinking of other things when he is talking. Whatever his interests and passions, he is exciting and fun to be around. In fact, he will introduce you to a side of life that you haven’t seen before. I know someone who had never parasailed, driven a motorbike or been to an opera before she met her boyfriend.

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8. He favors mature arguments.

Let’s face it: Any two people will have different opinions and perspectives, inevitability leading to occasional arguments. But he focuses on the point in hand, through rational level-headed conversations. No blame game, dear.

9. He makes you feel beautiful.

You don’t have to be Scarlet Johansson or Angelina Jolie to feel pretty. When you are with him, you feel like the most attractive woman on Earth. He treats you like his princess, and rightfully so.

10. He is game to try your adventures.

The real guy accompanies you to the middle of Wisconsin because you threw a dart on the US map blindfolded and wanted to go there. He doesn’t complain; instead, he finds joy in being part of your bucket list.

11. He expresses his love.

He’s pretty much on top of his game when it comes to sweeping you off your feet, yet again. True to his own style, sometimes that can mean preparing a home cooked meal, surprising you at the airport or simply saying “I love you.

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12. He is your superhero.

When in danger, you can count on him to help. He will prevent your handbag from being stolen by a hoodlum. He will make sure you get home safe on a late night. He will come to your rescue in the middle of a riot. Most importantly, he is also smart enough to stay alive while being chivalrous and heroic.

13. He makes every effort to wipe away your tears.

You happiness is of utmost importance to him. In your moments of downtime, he tries to be funny, sexy or Superman, or pretty much anything that will bring a smile on your face.

14. He wants to introduce you to his friends.

Hiding you from his close pals and deliberately being “single” on Facebook can mean a red flag. A man in love wants you to be part of his social life and show you off to friends, because he thinks you are great.

15. He respects his mother.

Pay attention to his relationship with his mother, for it speaks volumes. A man who has a deep regard for his mother (different from a Mama’s boy) is most likely to respect and admire you, as well.

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16. He is irresistibly attractive, to you.

Women have varied opinions when it comes to who they find sexy, cute and handsome. As long as you find him eye-catching and can’t help but wishing to be in his arms, you are going the right way.

17. He is a source of inspiration.

Love is a motivation engine that drives you closer to your aspirations. The perfect boyfriend pushes your boundaries and inspires you to achieve the unimaginable. He understands that your dreams are of paramount importance, as are his. Plus, he’s got your back if you fall.

18. He is not a control freak.

Watch out for the guy who is overly generous about “constructive criticism,” has unrealistic expectations and wants to micromanage you. Who wants Hitler as a partner? Experiencing freedom in a relationship is not too much to ask for.

19. He is honest.

Forget the yes-man and people-pleaser. Truth is the foundation of a robust and lasting relationship. It saves you from unnecessary misunderstandings and helps build trust quickly.

20. He makes you a better person.

You are already amazing, but being with him brings out the best in you. It’s like having a personal male cheerleader! Your strengths are further amplified, and you think life just can’t get any better.

Remember that perfection doesn’t exist, but there is someone imperfectly perfect out there for you. And I hope that all you remarkable women find The One and end up marrying him — just like me.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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