Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. – Ray Romano
Parenting is both the most difficult and most rewarding job. Kids don’t come with a manual, but if they did it might include these questions you should get in the habit of asking yourself.
Are My Kids Having Fun?
Life tends to get so busy that sometime we forget to prioritize play.
Am I Having Fun?
Same question (almost). If you are so busy chauffering and cooking and doing laundry that you are forgetting to enjoy your children, you need to take a hard look at your priorities.Advertising
Did My Child Eat Well?
Consider quality, not quantity. Were fruits and vegetables the bulk of the diet? Great. Are you limiting too strictly? Every child needs to taste cotton candy once.
Did My Child Sleep Well?
Children need their sleep. If they aren’t getting a reasonable amount of sleep they are not thriving.
Did My Child Learn Something?
This isn’t the same as a getting good grades. It’s about being curious and excited to learn anything from weaving to dinosaur names. Open their minds to the joy of learning.
Did My Child Successfully Negotiate Stress?
Kids need to learn to recognize both how stress feels and how to reduce it in order to navigate the adult world. If you never allow them to experience fear, failure, or grit, they don’t get the opportunity to develop these skills.Advertising
Did I Yell?
How did you feel after yelling? How do you think your child felt?
Why Did I Yell?
You know yelling feels awful for both you and your child. Why do you do it? Some part of you thinks that it works. Remind yourself that it is not the most effective way.
Did I Blame My Child?
If you hear yourself saying “you make me so mad” or “you make mommy sad,” it is time to take ownership of your feelings. “When you come home late I feel worried” or “when you use that tone of voice I feel like you don’t respect me” would convey your feelings without blaming your child for them.
Did I Praise Enough?
It takes seven positive comments to negate the effects of one negative. To build our children’s confidence and self-esteem, we need to praise them more than we might think.Advertising
Did I Praise the Right Things?
Praising a child for things like being smart or pretty is actually harmful to his ability to become resilient. If the child thinks smart is something he is rather then recognizing the grit he puts into learning something, when he eventually is confronted by something that is harder to learn he might think he isn’t smart rather than attempting to work it out.
Am I Treating My Child’s Success as My Own?
Recognize that if she is successful, it is her own. You don’t get to relive your dreams of becoming a soccer player or ballet dancer through your child.
What Do I Want My Children To Feel Today?
Important, respected, and happy.
If This Was My Last Day, What Would I Do Differently?
We have to go to work and cook dinner and do homework but if we looked back on the day, would we do it this way again? Did you laugh? Did you listen?Advertising
Did I Do Something Today to Foster My Child’s Independence?
As your child’s pre-frontal cortex develops a parent is tasked with balancing independence with protection. What are you still doing for your child that he could be doing for himself? Let him do it, it helps foster self-trust.
Am I Parenting Out of Fear or Comfort?
Am I moving towards something I want for my child or away from something I don’t want? It is always more powerful to move toward.
Am I Part of the Problem or Part of the Solution?
Are you helping your child avoid things she doesn’t like doing? That is encouraging avoidance. Instead be on her side encouraging her to develop grit and perseverance.
What Is My Most Important Role as a Parent?
Spend some time thinking about this, then align all your parenting with that role.
Did I Learn From My Mistakes?
We all make them. Admit, then learn from them. Move on. Tomorrow is another day and you need to model this for your children.
What Am I Thankful For?
Reminding ourselves of what we already have or do opens our minds to finding more great things and opportunities as parents.
Last Updated on September 17, 2019
10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts
Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.
But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.
Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:
1. Spend Time with Positive People
If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.
Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.
2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior
When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.
Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.
3. Contribute to the Community
One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.
Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.
4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials
Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.
Some recommendations for you:
- 30 Of The Most Inspirational Quotes Of All Time
- You Are What You Listen To: 11 Podcasts To Inspire Yourself
- 10 Best Inspirational Books That Can Change Your Life
- 30 Inspirational Songs that Keep You Motivated for Life
5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts
You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.
If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”
There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.
6. Establish and Work Toward Goals
It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.
Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.
7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity
Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.
Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.
8. Offer Compliments to Others
Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.
9. Create a Daily Gratitude List
If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.
Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.
10. Practice Self-Care
Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.
Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.
Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.
More About Staying Positive
- How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up
- 10 Negative Thoughts We All Have And What We Should Think Instead
- 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time
Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com