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20 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

20 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

Have you ever felt like you’ve been settling for less—like you deserve better? Well, you don’t have to settle for less than you deserve. You can determine from today to not tolerate things that bring you down or suck the life out of you. After all, our time in this world is limited. You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough. Stop tolerating these 20 critical things, starting now, to live a full, more meaningful life.

1. Abusive relationships

Never tolerate an abusive relationship. The most telling sign that you are in an abusive relationship is fear of your partner. If you have experienced or seen consistent signs of physical, emotional or sexual abuse from your partner, it is high time you escaped. Healthy relationships equal respect and trust.

2. Infidelity

Never tolerate infidelity. Infidelity is breaking a sacred promise to remain faithful to a sexual partner. If you discover your partner isn’t 100% percent committed to an intimate relationship, it’s probably time to move on.

3. Dishonesty

Never tolerate dishonesty. Living an honest life is priceless. It allows you to be at peace with others and yourself. People who are dishonest actively try to steal other people’s reality.

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4. Disrespect

Never tolerate disrespect or disrespectful people. Disrespect is speaking and behaving in a way that shows no regard for people, laws, customs, social norms or even societal politics. Don’t be disrespectful.

5. A bad job

Never tolerate a bad job you are in. If you are unhappy with your job, start putting the pieces together today to plan how you are going to transition to another job you love. Don’t stick to a job you hate indefinitely.

6. Debt

Never tolerate debt. Live well within your means. When buying stuff, go for things that you need and can afford. Have a budget and savings plan in place and stick to it to protect yourself against debt.

7. Inaction

Never tolerate inaction or inertia. Either you are going to take action, seize new opportunities and make some sort of progress, or someone else will. Life is too short to linger in your comfort zone. Apply yourself!

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8. Fear of change

Never tolerate fear of change. Every day marks a new beginning and a new ending. Fear of change is futile. Embrace change and make the best of it. Get out there and live—and grow!

9. Poor communication

Never tolerate lack of or poor communication. Encourage open, honest and loving communication in business and in your personal relationships. Healthy communication is essential to a happy life.

10. Negativity

Never tolerate negativity, whether it comes from negative thoughts or negative people. Negativity hurts more than it helps. Replace negativity with positive vibes to brighten up life and bring increased confidence.

11. Disorganization

Never tolerate disorganization. Disorganization hinders productivity. Get rid of stuff you don’t need and organize everything else. How organized you are reflects your emotional and mental well-being.

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12. Peer pressure

Never tolerate pressure from peers, such as colleagues and friends. Peer pressure only strips you of who you are as a person. Be yourself and you will attract the right friends who will appreciate you for who you are.

13. Stubbornness

Never tolerate obstinate stubbornness. Stubbornness is the need to have your own way with no concern for logic, what’s right, what’s best, or even the likely consequences of actions. Sometimes standing your ground is important, but so are compromise, cooperation and collaboration.

14. Excesses

Never tolerate excesses. It points to a moral weakness. When you are excessive, you are only feeding the monster of personal greed. Don’t let greed get the better of you.

15. Poor hygiene

Never tolerate poor hygiene habits, like refusing to bathe, brush teeth and clean up. These habits are the cause of many preventable health and social problems.

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16. Bad eating habits

Never tolerate bad eating habits, like eating to relieve stress, eating when not hungry and strict dieting. Eat healthily, exercise regularly and go for physical exams from time to time. Your health is your life.

17. Sleep deprivation

Never tolerate sleep deprivation. Your productivity suffers when your body and mind are deprived of adequate time to rest and recover in a comfortable, clean sleeping environment every night.

18. Wastefulness

Never tolerate wastefulness. Loss of time, food, money, energy and other resources due to wastefulness is a bad way of living.

19. Compromised integrity

Never tolerate people or situations that compromise your integrity. You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a succession of little compromises here and there of your values, self-respect and integrity.

20. A routine life

Never tolerate or settle for a monotonous, routine life. Generally, the less routine you have, the more life you enjoy. Make regular changes to your routine to get your brain moving and to spur on creativity.

You are the sum of your life choices and experiences. Live well!

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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