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20 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

20 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

Have you ever felt like you’ve been settling for less—like you deserve better? Well, you don’t have to settle for less than you deserve. You can determine from today to not tolerate things that bring you down or suck the life out of you. After all, our time in this world is limited. You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough. Stop tolerating these 20 critical things, starting now, to live a full, more meaningful life.

1. Abusive relationships

Never tolerate an abusive relationship. The most telling sign that you are in an abusive relationship is fear of your partner. If you have experienced or seen consistent signs of physical, emotional or sexual abuse from your partner, it is high time you escaped. Healthy relationships equal respect and trust.

2. Infidelity

Never tolerate infidelity. Infidelity is breaking a sacred promise to remain faithful to a sexual partner. If you discover your partner isn’t 100% percent committed to an intimate relationship, it’s probably time to move on.

3. Dishonesty

Never tolerate dishonesty. Living an honest life is priceless. It allows you to be at peace with others and yourself. People who are dishonest actively try to steal other people’s reality.

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4. Disrespect

Never tolerate disrespect or disrespectful people. Disrespect is speaking and behaving in a way that shows no regard for people, laws, customs, social norms or even societal politics. Don’t be disrespectful.

5. A bad job

Never tolerate a bad job you are in. If you are unhappy with your job, start putting the pieces together today to plan how you are going to transition to another job you love. Don’t stick to a job you hate indefinitely.

6. Debt

Never tolerate debt. Live well within your means. When buying stuff, go for things that you need and can afford. Have a budget and savings plan in place and stick to it to protect yourself against debt.

7. Inaction

Never tolerate inaction or inertia. Either you are going to take action, seize new opportunities and make some sort of progress, or someone else will. Life is too short to linger in your comfort zone. Apply yourself!

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8. Fear of change

Never tolerate fear of change. Every day marks a new beginning and a new ending. Fear of change is futile. Embrace change and make the best of it. Get out there and live—and grow!

9. Poor communication

Never tolerate lack of or poor communication. Encourage open, honest and loving communication in business and in your personal relationships. Healthy communication is essential to a happy life.

10. Negativity

Never tolerate negativity, whether it comes from negative thoughts or negative people. Negativity hurts more than it helps. Replace negativity with positive vibes to brighten up life and bring increased confidence.

11. Disorganization

Never tolerate disorganization. Disorganization hinders productivity. Get rid of stuff you don’t need and organize everything else. How organized you are reflects your emotional and mental well-being.

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12. Peer pressure

Never tolerate pressure from peers, such as colleagues and friends. Peer pressure only strips you of who you are as a person. Be yourself and you will attract the right friends who will appreciate you for who you are.

13. Stubbornness

Never tolerate obstinate stubbornness. Stubbornness is the need to have your own way with no concern for logic, what’s right, what’s best, or even the likely consequences of actions. Sometimes standing your ground is important, but so are compromise, cooperation and collaboration.

14. Excesses

Never tolerate excesses. It points to a moral weakness. When you are excessive, you are only feeding the monster of personal greed. Don’t let greed get the better of you.

15. Poor hygiene

Never tolerate poor hygiene habits, like refusing to bathe, brush teeth and clean up. These habits are the cause of many preventable health and social problems.

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16. Bad eating habits

Never tolerate bad eating habits, like eating to relieve stress, eating when not hungry and strict dieting. Eat healthily, exercise regularly and go for physical exams from time to time. Your health is your life.

17. Sleep deprivation

Never tolerate sleep deprivation. Your productivity suffers when your body and mind are deprived of adequate time to rest and recover in a comfortable, clean sleeping environment every night.

18. Wastefulness

Never tolerate wastefulness. Loss of time, food, money, energy and other resources due to wastefulness is a bad way of living.

19. Compromised integrity

Never tolerate people or situations that compromise your integrity. You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a succession of little compromises here and there of your values, self-respect and integrity.

20. A routine life

Never tolerate or settle for a monotonous, routine life. Generally, the less routine you have, the more life you enjoy. Make regular changes to your routine to get your brain moving and to spur on creativity.

You are the sum of your life choices and experiences. Live well!

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

More Resources About Strengthening Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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