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20 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

20 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

Have you ever felt like you’ve been settling for less—like you deserve better? Well, you don’t have to settle for less than you deserve. You can determine from today to not tolerate things that bring you down or suck the life out of you. After all, our time in this world is limited. You only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough. Stop tolerating these 20 critical things, starting now, to live a full, more meaningful life.

1. Abusive relationships

Never tolerate an abusive relationship. The most telling sign that you are in an abusive relationship is fear of your partner. If you have experienced or seen consistent signs of physical, emotional or sexual abuse from your partner, it is high time you escaped. Healthy relationships equal respect and trust.

2. Infidelity

Never tolerate infidelity. Infidelity is breaking a sacred promise to remain faithful to a sexual partner. If you discover your partner isn’t 100% percent committed to an intimate relationship, it’s probably time to move on.

3. Dishonesty

Never tolerate dishonesty. Living an honest life is priceless. It allows you to be at peace with others and yourself. People who are dishonest actively try to steal other people’s reality.

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4. Disrespect

Never tolerate disrespect or disrespectful people. Disrespect is speaking and behaving in a way that shows no regard for people, laws, customs, social norms or even societal politics. Don’t be disrespectful.

5. A bad job

Never tolerate a bad job you are in. If you are unhappy with your job, start putting the pieces together today to plan how you are going to transition to another job you love. Don’t stick to a job you hate indefinitely.

6. Debt

Never tolerate debt. Live well within your means. When buying stuff, go for things that you need and can afford. Have a budget and savings plan in place and stick to it to protect yourself against debt.

7. Inaction

Never tolerate inaction or inertia. Either you are going to take action, seize new opportunities and make some sort of progress, or someone else will. Life is too short to linger in your comfort zone. Apply yourself!

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8. Fear of change

Never tolerate fear of change. Every day marks a new beginning and a new ending. Fear of change is futile. Embrace change and make the best of it. Get out there and live—and grow!

9. Poor communication

Never tolerate lack of or poor communication. Encourage open, honest and loving communication in business and in your personal relationships. Healthy communication is essential to a happy life.

10. Negativity

Never tolerate negativity, whether it comes from negative thoughts or negative people. Negativity hurts more than it helps. Replace negativity with positive vibes to brighten up life and bring increased confidence.

11. Disorganization

Never tolerate disorganization. Disorganization hinders productivity. Get rid of stuff you don’t need and organize everything else. How organized you are reflects your emotional and mental well-being.

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12. Peer pressure

Never tolerate pressure from peers, such as colleagues and friends. Peer pressure only strips you of who you are as a person. Be yourself and you will attract the right friends who will appreciate you for who you are.

13. Stubbornness

Never tolerate obstinate stubbornness. Stubbornness is the need to have your own way with no concern for logic, what’s right, what’s best, or even the likely consequences of actions. Sometimes standing your ground is important, but so are compromise, cooperation and collaboration.

14. Excesses

Never tolerate excesses. It points to a moral weakness. When you are excessive, you are only feeding the monster of personal greed. Don’t let greed get the better of you.

15. Poor hygiene

Never tolerate poor hygiene habits, like refusing to bathe, brush teeth and clean up. These habits are the cause of many preventable health and social problems.

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16. Bad eating habits

Never tolerate bad eating habits, like eating to relieve stress, eating when not hungry and strict dieting. Eat healthily, exercise regularly and go for physical exams from time to time. Your health is your life.

17. Sleep deprivation

Never tolerate sleep deprivation. Your productivity suffers when your body and mind are deprived of adequate time to rest and recover in a comfortable, clean sleeping environment every night.

18. Wastefulness

Never tolerate wastefulness. Loss of time, food, money, energy and other resources due to wastefulness is a bad way of living.

19. Compromised integrity

Never tolerate people or situations that compromise your integrity. You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a succession of little compromises here and there of your values, self-respect and integrity.

20. A routine life

Never tolerate or settle for a monotonous, routine life. Generally, the less routine you have, the more life you enjoy. Make regular changes to your routine to get your brain moving and to spur on creativity.

You are the sum of your life choices and experiences. Live well!

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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