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16 Things You Should Tell Yourself To Lead A Positive Life

16 Things You Should Tell Yourself To Lead A Positive Life

Living a positive life can be as simple as what we tell ourselves. Our self-talk may be more important than what the world is telling us. The best part? We can change what we say in our heads!

1. I’m capable

I am able to take care of the things that need to be done in my life, from the simple to the complex. There isn’t anything I can’t conquer.

Remember that you are capable even when you are unsure. Some things might seem intimidating at first, but you are able to do much more than you even think possible.

2. I am confident

The next time I walk into that meeting I am going to square my shoulders, take a deep breath, put a smile on my face and talk with confidence.

Confidence is a way of walking in the world. You don’t have to know everything, have it all or even be the very best. You just have to tell yourself that you can do it and stand tall; no one will know that you aren’t 100% sure.

3. I love challenges

Bring it on! I am able to take life’s challenges head on and work through them learning new and exciting things along the way.

Life isn’t meant to be easy. Working hard and finding new ways of getting things done is what makes it all fun.

4. I’m moving forward

I know that each step I am taking is moving me right where I want to be. I’m not stuck in a rut at all! In fact, I am making great progress into my future plans. It might not look like I’m moving forward every day towards my goals, but I can tell in small changes I am making that I am moving right ahead.

5. I make great decisions

I am making decisions that are the best for me in my life right now. I know that when there are challenges I will be able to make the right decision. There isn’t anyone who can make decisions for me better than me. I know exactly what is right for me when I’m eating out, making my next career move, or in my relationships.

6. I don’t need other people’s approval

I know that I don’t need other people’s approval or compliments to make me feel like I am doing the right thing or am headed in the right direction.

If you are looking for other people to approve everything you do; stop. You are not a child anymore and you need to find approval in yourself and stop looking outside. Your boss, best friend and partner isn’t going to notice every good thing that you do, and that is ok.

7. I am lovable

I know that I am lovable just as I am. I don’t have to change how I look, how I laugh or what I’m doing to be more lovable.

If you are worrying about being lovable write yourself a note and post it on your bathroom mirror that you are lovable just the way you are and read it every single day. You need to internalize this and believe it to the bottom of your heart.

8. I am responsible for my own happiness

I don’t have to find my happiness from other people. If I want to be happier I can do exactly what I need to do to make that happen. In fact, no one else is in charge of making me happy.

9. My feelings are just feelings, neither good nor bad

I don’t have to get in a tizzy over feeling sad, mad or frustrated.

Those are feelings just like being happy, pleased and calm. None of those feelings are good or bad and the best part is they pass onto something else in no time.

10. I don’t compare myself to others

I know that comparing myself to others is a cycle of disappointment and there is no reason to do it. I don’t know their whole story and they could be going through things, good or bad, that I don’t know about at all. No one is better or worse than I am and that idea is so freeing.

11. I can ask for help

I know that I am worth someone else’s time and am able to ask for help when I need it. I don’t ask all of the time and when I need it I am serious about needing it.

You might need help doing something simple or complex and when you ask for it the right person will hear you and help.

12. I am capable of setting my own priorities

I know what is best for me and I will take the steps I need to make my priorities fit my life. I know exactly what would be right for me.

13. I am human; I make mistakes

Even though I want to be perfect I know I’m human and things don’t always work out. I can’t be defined by my mistakes and I fix them when they happen.

Most mistakes are minimal and beating yourself up isn’t going to make it any better. Just get to the work of making it better.

14. It’s OK to change my mind

I might decide to do something and then decide it isn’t the right thing and that is my right. I know that I need to do what is right in my life and not stay stuck in something that I used to think.

15. I have the right to be treated with respect

I treat others with respect and I expect the same for myself. There is no reason to degrade or accept less than what I am comfortable with in conversations or in actions.

It is often said that people have to earn respect, but that isn’t true. Everyone deserves respect, even you.

16. I deserve it; why settle for less

I deserve the good things that come into my life; why would I ever settle for less? I am worthy of all that is good and I know it and will not accept less in my life.

If you are settling for a life that isn’t what you want make the changes that need to happen.

If you have any other things to say about yourself to lead a positive life, please leave it in the comments below.

Featured photo credit: jluck via

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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