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16 Things You Should Tell Yourself To Lead A Positive Life

16 Things You Should Tell Yourself To Lead A Positive Life

Living a positive life can be as simple as what we tell ourselves. Our self-talk may be more important than what the world is telling us. The best part? We can change what we say in our heads!

1. I’m capable

I am able to take care of the things that need to be done in my life, from the simple to the complex. There isn’t anything I can’t conquer.

Remember that you are capable even when you are unsure. Some things might seem intimidating at first, but you are able to do much more than you even think possible.

2. I am confident

The next time I walk into that meeting I am going to square my shoulders, take a deep breath, put a smile on my face and talk with confidence.

Confidence is a way of walking in the world. You don’t have to know everything, have it all or even be the very best. You just have to tell yourself that you can do it and stand tall; no one will know that you aren’t 100% sure.

3. I love challenges

Bring it on! I am able to take life’s challenges head on and work through them learning new and exciting things along the way.

Life isn’t meant to be easy. Working hard and finding new ways of getting things done is what makes it all fun.

4. I’m moving forward

I know that each step I am taking is moving me right where I want to be. I’m not stuck in a rut at all! In fact, I am making great progress into my future plans. It might not look like I’m moving forward every day towards my goals, but I can tell in small changes I am making that I am moving right ahead.

5. I make great decisions

I am making decisions that are the best for me in my life right now. I know that when there are challenges I will be able to make the right decision. There isn’t anyone who can make decisions for me better than me. I know exactly what is right for me when I’m eating out, making my next career move, or in my relationships.

6. I don’t need other people’s approval

I know that I don’t need other people’s approval or compliments to make me feel like I am doing the right thing or am headed in the right direction.

If you are looking for other people to approve everything you do; stop. You are not a child anymore and you need to find approval in yourself and stop looking outside. Your boss, best friend and partner isn’t going to notice every good thing that you do, and that is ok.

7. I am lovable

I know that I am lovable just as I am. I don’t have to change how I look, how I laugh or what I’m doing to be more lovable.

If you are worrying about being lovable write yourself a note and post it on your bathroom mirror that you are lovable just the way you are and read it every single day. You need to internalize this and believe it to the bottom of your heart.

8. I am responsible for my own happiness

I don’t have to find my happiness from other people. If I want to be happier I can do exactly what I need to do to make that happen. In fact, no one else is in charge of making me happy.

9. My feelings are just feelings, neither good nor bad

I don’t have to get in a tizzy over feeling sad, mad or frustrated.

Those are feelings just like being happy, pleased and calm. None of those feelings are good or bad and the best part is they pass onto something else in no time.

10. I don’t compare myself to others

I know that comparing myself to others is a cycle of disappointment and there is no reason to do it. I don’t know their whole story and they could be going through things, good or bad, that I don’t know about at all. No one is better or worse than I am and that idea is so freeing.

11. I can ask for help

I know that I am worth someone else’s time and am able to ask for help when I need it. I don’t ask all of the time and when I need it I am serious about needing it.

You might need help doing something simple or complex and when you ask for it the right person will hear you and help.

12. I am capable of setting my own priorities

I know what is best for me and I will take the steps I need to make my priorities fit my life. I know exactly what would be right for me.

13. I am human; I make mistakes

Even though I want to be perfect I know I’m human and things don’t always work out. I can’t be defined by my mistakes and I fix them when they happen.

Most mistakes are minimal and beating yourself up isn’t going to make it any better. Just get to the work of making it better.

14. It’s OK to change my mind

I might decide to do something and then decide it isn’t the right thing and that is my right. I know that I need to do what is right in my life and not stay stuck in something that I used to think.

15. I have the right to be treated with respect

I treat others with respect and I expect the same for myself. There is no reason to degrade or accept less than what I am comfortable with in conversations or in actions.

It is often said that people have to earn respect, but that isn’t true. Everyone deserves respect, even you.

16. I deserve it; why settle for less

I deserve the good things that come into my life; why would I ever settle for less? I am worthy of all that is good and I know it and will not accept less in my life.

If you are settling for a life that isn’t what you want make the changes that need to happen.

If you have any other things to say about yourself to lead a positive life, please leave it in the comments below.

Featured photo credit: jluck via

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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