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15 Ways To Lead A Brand New Great Life

15 Ways To Lead A Brand New Great Life

…without leaving your current one.

Leading a brand new, great life is not as hard as you think – and you don’t have to bail on your current one to make it happen. All you really need is the desire and willingness to make it happen.

It is normal and natural to wish for “something more” in life and to feel frustrated that everything feels like “same old same old” yet you really don’t want to take drastic measures such as ditching your spouse or bailing on your kids to go live on a mountain top and meditate.

So what can you do? How can you take your current humdrum existence and turn it into a brand new great life for yourself?

Enjoy the Power of Fresh Perspective

Perspective, my friend (don’t worry, we’ll get to some exact how-to’s momentarily).  Suppose you went out the door today, and like you always do, you stop by the donut shop on your way to work even though you promised yourself you would focus on lowering your cholesterol. So there you are, walking out of the donut shop hoping your spouse doesn’t randomly drive by and see your culinary transgression, when a meteor falls brightly from the sky. The donut shop explodes and a shard of glass impales your leg. Flash forward, you’re being released from the emergency room with a bandaged leg thanking your lucky stars you are still alive and swearing you’ll never eat a donut again and that you’ll absolutely start writing that novel, something you’ve always dreamed of doing.

After an experience like this you’d suddenly have a bright new perspective and all those activities that felt humdrum yesterday would be brighter and bolder; food would taste better; that evening kiss with your spouse would be more sensual; your kids’ laughter would feel musical instead of too loud.

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Being shaken up can shift everything for us. The good news is you don’t have to wait for a meteor to create a brand new life for yourself; you can shake yourself up with a few choices and over time you will be leading that new great life.

So let’s get started on making your life great, minus the meteor.

Make life shiny and new and great – for you!

1. Alter 1 thing in your environment, right now

Sameness makes us stop noticing. Have you ever noticed that you don’t even see those photographs on the wall anymore? Go head, switch them around in a new order or put them on a whole new wall. Or move your favorite chair to a new location. Just one thing, do it now. Go ahead, we’ll wait.

2. Change your morning routine by bouncing

Welcome back. Tomorrow morning do something entirely out of the ordinary from your usual routine. And I don’t mean switching from one cup of coffee to two. I mean, wake up and bounce on the end of your bed while singing Happy Birthday or Amazing Grace – whatever. It’s okay if your spouse thinks you’ve gone cuckoo – with any luck they’ll join in.

3. Stop being too serious – laugh at your boss

You know the saying, don’t sweat the small stuff – it’s all small stuff. Go back to our meteor. A near death experience always makes us realize we’ve been overly serious about things that don’t really matter. So, today, pick one thing which you are very serious about and laugh at it. I apologize now if laughing at your boss gets you fired. Hey, at least that would really shake things up, right?

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4. Get turned onto your life with things you like

Sit down right now and list 5 things you did yesterday that you like doing. Is it hard? Then you’re not doing enough things you like to do. Make another list – things you like to do and add 1 new thing a day for a week.

5. Do things with love because Intent matters

You can do things with love, or begrudgingly. Did your spouse tell you to mop the kitchen floor? Well, do it with love. Really. Force yourself to do this at least once a day and before you know it, you’ll actually be feeling better about those things you used to hate.

6. Give as if you’ll die tomorrow

The single best way to feel more happy and fulfilled is to give to others. Go out of your way today and every day to help someone out – I mean watch for the opportunity and take it. Do this with your family and loved ones, and at least one stranger. This is one of the single best things you can do to have your life take on a shiny new meaning.

7. Random dancing

This is a personal favorite. Anywhere you are, the more public and humiliating a place the better, and just dance. No music needed. If you’re a parent and you can embarrass your kids by doing this, you get bonus points.

8. Pause and breathe

There’s a lot of do, do, do, in today’s society. So stop, really stop. Sit down in your newly moved favorite chair and breathe deeply for an entire minute. No TV, no book, just you and the air. Pausing to breathe every day will bring you back to the moment so you’ll enjoy everything more.

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9. Enjoy your creativity

Living and thinking creatively is one of the biggest keys to having a life you love and are fulfilled by. So if you want to write, then write. This is the part where you actually have to take action and not just think about it. Using your creativity every day in some way will keep your mind fresh and actually does build a new life within your current existence.

10. Start a gratitude journal

Stop whining and start being grateful. Every day write down one thing you are really grateful for – and don’t list material possessions.

11. Break your eating routing for a day

If you’re a health fanatic, eat junk. If you’re junk food addict, eat healthy. You can do anything for one day. Does eating different make you feel differently? Allow the experience to give you a little introspection.

12. Give to yourself

You need to give to yourself with love, too. Take your vitamins, go for a walk, or call in sick and lie in bed with your spouse. Wealthy people always pay themselves first – and I’m not talking about money.

13. Move through a fear

Fear stops us from being as much of ourselves as we can be. Yup, fear is scary. What are you afraid of? As they say, feel the fear and do it anyway. Moving through it brings you to the other side – which is always bright and shiny.

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14. Take control of something

As human beings we tend to feel lousy about our lives when we perceive that things are out of our control. It can make us angry and depressed. So, take control of something. Cleaning clutter is good for reestablishing control so tackle that junk drawer or countertop or nightstand. The point is to pick one thing that is in your control and do it.

15. Begin on one long term goal

Do you have a dream? That one thing you’ve always wanted to do? Get your pilots license? Write a book? Grow the best hydrangeas in your neighborhood? Now is the time to take one of your dreams and start working toward it. Don’t pick something you can do in a day – make this something that will take you months to accomplish. You need to experience planning toward your dream, taking action, and then ultimately having it as part of your brand new shiny life.

I guarantee that if you use these ideas and ways to lead a brand new great life, within a few weeks, you will be. Yippee!

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1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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