Advertising
Advertising

15 Things You Shouldn’t Do When Moving On To A New Relationship

15 Things You Shouldn’t Do When Moving On To A New Relationship

Bad habits die hard. It’s something we are all aware of. Life gives us situations that leave us often bruised and broken. Once we heal, we only take with us the scars to remind us of what had once happened. So your relationship ended, and you were hurt. Now there’s an incredible person in front of you and you want to make sure it stays exactly where it is. In a way, savior it before it even begins to need saving. So what do you do? Or better yet, what do you not do?

1. Compare Relationships

No two relationships will ever be the same. We can’t compare different beginnings. Fitzgerald once said “there are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” We can’t chase the past in something new, so avoid it before even allowing it to even begin.

2. Bring Your Ex Along For the Ride

Everyone who comes into our lives remains as a part of us in one way or another. When we’re moving on, the past needs to stay in the past. Often, we talk about our exes. We don’t mean to..he/she is just kind of all we know. Talking about our exes keeps us from getting to know anything or anyone else. So keep your ex in the past.

Advertising

3. Fast-forward to the Middle

New relationships are exciting. On the brink of something special, you can’t help but want the full dosage right then and there. “I want it all.” You look to run to the finish line. Too much, too soon is chaos. Saying I love you after your first date or wanting the future before the presence has even found its shoes becomes a lethal injection to the healthy beginning. Embrace it as it comes even if time isn’t our friend. There’s a magic to allowing things play out how they are supposed to. That magic is fate.

4. Getting too Comfortable

New relationships are like babies. They take time to develop. It takes time to trust, and let someone in. It takes time to get to know someone. Assuming your partner is okay with your single mentality can easily become walking on thin air. Be kind and treat your relationship like it’s new.

5. The Crazy Stage Four Clinger

Nobody wants to date someone who takes out their personal issues on them. Often we fail to recognize relationships as relationships. Trust that you put yourself into something that doesn’t require you to stalk, snoop, creep, and cling. Relationships aren’t defined by having your hips attached. Its existing independently and co-dependently.

Advertising

6. Side Chicks

You’re in a relationship now. With that comes the responsibility of being an adult. There is no longer the need for the people you toy with when struggling to move on because you have. You don’t move forward with your side chicks, you move on with one person.

7. It’s Always on Me, Just Because

I think this happens often and I want to say it’s completely accidental. Maybe unconsciously we believe it’ll make the person like us more, crave us more, want us more. In the end, all it really becomes is a buyout. Affection cannot be bought. New relationships do not require you to empty out your pockets. You don’t have to go beyond your means to impress someone. You want them to fall for you, not who you pretend to be.

8. My Ex and I are Still Dating on Instagram and Facebook

Deleting the past from public display is one of the hardest tasks when moving on. We have the tendency to air out all of our good laundry on social media. If you want to see couples in love, go on any Instagram page of someone in a relationship. We display nothing but the good. We set up images for the world to know just how they should see us. You don’t remember the bad here. When you move on, you can’t keep those things around anymore. Someone else is in the picture.

Advertising

9. Blame Your New Partner for Your Ex’s Mistakes

We’ve all been hurt at some point in our lives. Trails of anger leap within our veins when we remember the wrongs done our way. It hurts. When moving on, there can’t be room for blame anymore. It’s important to remember who you have standing in front of you. It’s important to recognize that it’s not your past in front of you but something, someone new. Don’t hate your partner for something he/she didn’t do.

10. Games

Relationships are not games. While it’s new and in the midst of becoming a relationship, brief moments exist where you forget, you are now in the real deal. Playing games are for amateurs. I was once told the only thing we have control over in this life is the amount of hurt we pass to another. Games hurt.

11. Shh, Don’t Tell Anyone

Maybe someone will think it’s too soon. Maybe you’re moving on with someone you’re not certain your friends approve of. It’s not up to them. You’re moving on and you’re not doing it for anyone else but yourself. Your life and who you choose to share it with should never be a secret. Good things never come from keeping hidden the things that matter most. No one wants to be someone’s secret.

Advertising

12. Flaunting Your Relationship

There’s a difference between making everyone aware that you’ve moved on and literally shoving it into everyone’s faces. When your entire life becomes nothing but your new relationship, its questionable. Intimacy is a private affair.

13. My Walls of Great China

We are people who love to live within ourselves. Our minds and hearts, they belong to us. We don’t want to give too much too soon. Honestly, sometimes we don’t want to give anything but a façade. Honesty and communication is the key to anything successful. You feel something, say it. You never know the difference it’ll make. Your walls are meant for breaking, so let someone have the chance to do so.

14. I’ll Be Anyone You Want Me To Be

Relationships can never be forced. Attempting to change yourself is forcing something to exist that isn’t there. You’re moving on as you, whoever that may be. Don’t do things you don’t like just because the person you’re dating likes that. Be you and who you are. At the end of the day, you have to be conscious of yourself, no one else.

15. Giving Fear the Wheel

Relationships are risks, especially new ones. You’re allowing someone to become a part of your everyday. It’s no longer just you. Relationships are scary. Commitment is scary. Both are risks. Risks you must be willing to take when getting to know someone. You will never know someone one hundred percent. We’re always changing. A relationship is a commitment to try and accept those changes everyday regardless of what they may be. Fear of that makes us all sometimes run. Don’t.

Featured photo credit: Couple Hugging/Paulina Clemente via flickr.com

More by this author

Relationship Problems: How to Resolve the Conflicts 15 Things You Shouldn’t Do When Moving On To A New Relationship

Trending in Communication

1 30 Powerful Success and Failure Quotes That Will Lead You to Success 2 How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (Step-by-Step Guide) 3 You Can Change Your Life NOW: 5 Strategies to Start Living Your Best Life 4 How To Study Effectively: 7 Simple Tips 5 5 Powerful Self-Care Ideas for When Life Is Stressful

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 28, 2020

30 Powerful Success and Failure Quotes That Will Lead You to Success

30 Powerful Success and Failure Quotes That Will Lead You to Success

No one can live a positive life without failing. However, many people experience a fear of failure, despite its inevitability in life. Failure, as you will see from these 30 success and failure quotes, is the key ingredient for the recipe of success!

Today’s society is obsessed with success and achievement, and failure is definitely NOT part of the equation. Failure and making mistakes is hidden away or seen as a human weakness.

However, if you avoid making mistakes in life, struggle to do everything right, and are obsessed with perfection and order, then living and experiencing a successful and happy life is going to be impossible.

Embrace your failure, whether it is one failure or many failures, because with the right attitude and a willingness to learn from your mistakes, you are guaranteed a lifetime of success. Here are some uplifting quotes about failure and success to help you get started.

1. “Never let success get to your head; never let failure get to your heart.” -Anonymous

This quote is important for those of us who feel downtrodden after every failure, heartbroken, if you will. If you let failure get you down for more than a couple of days, you’re wasting away your chance to bounce back from it.

On the other hand, if you allow yourself to build an inflated ego after every success, future failures may be even harder to cope with. Maintain a sense of humility and gratitude for each success and failure you find.

2. “Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie?” -Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe is spot on with this one. The first person who should be there to catch you when you fall is you. You have to be your own best advocate, the person to build you up when it feels like everything is going wrong. The others in your support system are just icing on the cake.

3. “You always pass failure on your way to success.” -Mickey Rooney

In today’s competitive world, it’s hard to understand that almost no one experiences failure before they experience genuine, lasting success. Failure is what forces you to learn in order to achieve that goal you’ve been working up to.

Advertising

4. “Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.” -Chinese proverb

Everyone falls. Those who refuse to pick themselves back up, no matter if it’s after two days or two years, are the true failures.

5. “Successful people don’t fear failure but understand that it’s necessary to learn and grow from.” -Robert Kiyosaki

There are many success and failure quotes on this idea, and that’s because it’s so very important. Learning doesn’t happen when things are easy. It happens when things get tough and you have to find a way through challenges.

6. “The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.” -Barack Obama

No one can escape failure. If you let it keep you down and shying away from achieving your goals, you’ve failed again. If you learn from it and continue on your path toward greatness, it wasn’t a true failure but a lesson.

7. “Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” -Og Mandion

Determination is one of the best antidotes to failure. Even if you take two steps forward and one step back, you’re still moving forward with grit and determination. Keep going!

8. “Fear regret more than failure.” -Taryn Rose

At the end of your life, what do you think you’ll feel worst about, failing or never trying?

9. “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” -Nelson Mandela

If anyone has enough insight to offer us success and failure quotes, it’s Nelson Mandela. He learned that that path to success (and freedom) is full of setbacks. His determination, however, led him to make amazing changes in the world around him. Now that’s success.

10. “The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” -Paulo Coelho

Each time you get back up, it will get easier and easier, and you’ll realize each time that those failures are the greatest lessons life will ever give you.

11. “Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.” -Napoleon Hill

Unfortunately, many people stop trying after a large failure comes their way. They lose their confidence, determination, and will. However, success usually follows quickly behind these huge failures because you’ve inevitably learned what not to do.

Advertising

Don’t stop with the huge failure. Take a few more steps and see if it gets you where you wanted to go.

12. I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” -Thomas Alva Edison

Through his success and failure quotes, Thomas Edison shows us that failures are only truly failures if you don’t learn the lesson they offer.

13. “It’s fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” -Bill Gates

Celebrating success feels good, but learning the lessons of failure is where growth occurs[1], which can lead you to even greater successes.

14. “The only thing that separates success from failure is one last attempt. Try one more time and you will get lucky.” -Apoorve Dubey

Every success comes from an attempt. If you don’t try one more time, you’ll never know if it could’ve been your big chance at big success.

15. “Failure is a detour; not a dead-end street.” -Zig Ziglar

Many people get impatient with failure. They feel that it’s a stopping point, or a road that’s too long to walk. However, the patience to take that new road is exactly what’s necessary to find success. If success is easy to find, it likely won’t last very long.

16. “In the real world, very smart people fail, and mediocre people rise. Part of what makes people fail or succeed are skills that have nothing to do with IQ. Also, the idea that intelligence can be gauged by an IQ test is erroneous.” -Camille Paglia

Failure is not a sign of a lack of intelligence, as Paglia suggests. Failure is a sign of great intelligence and great courage. She also points out the important point that intelligence takes many forms, and it’s often the grit and maturity to accept failure for the temporary setback that it is.

17. “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” -Oprah Winfrey

Queens will always be queens, no matter if they experience success or failure. And you will always be you, so use that to your advantage, and take the risk of failure in order to reach success.

18. “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.” -J.K. Rowling

Living a life free of failure generally means you have lived a boring, uneventful life. Is it really worth it?

Advertising

19. “You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” -Richard Branson

If you’ve ever watched a child learn to walk, you know that Branson’s success and failure quotes are true. Children are determined. They fall, and they get back up. And then they learn, and soon they’re running.

20. “Success or failure is caused more by mental attitude than by mental capacity.” -Walter Scott

Scott knows that intelligence is less of a determining factor in success than determination or ruthless optimism. Set yourself up for success by cultivating both.

21. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again. That is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan knows failure, and yet we know him as an incredibly successful person. Why? Because he never let the failures stop him from moving on.

22. “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.” -José N. Harris

The secrets to success are pretty simple, and living a full life is only possible once you learn that getting up after a failure will bring a great sense of satisfaction and joy.

23. “All people fail at certain instances in their lives, the only thing that makes them different is how they manage to stand up or how they choose to fail again.” -Unknown

If you fail, you’re like the vast majority of the world. What makes you different is how you choose to respond.

24. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” -Robert Kennedy

If you aim high, even if you fall short you’ll still likely be ahead of the majority of people. Take the time in life to fail greatly because that’s where you’ll find your true self.

25. “Failure is good as long as it doesn’t become a habit.” -Michael Eisner

If you continue to make the same mistakes, you’re not learning from your failures. This is when it becomes a destructive habit instead of a moment to propel you toward success.

26. “If you are afraid of failure, you don’t deserve to be successful.” -Charles Barkley

Only those who are willing to accept the hard emotions that come along with failure will be those who will enjoy the good feelings of genuine success.

Advertising

27. “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. It is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end street.” -William A. Ward

In his success and failure quotes, Ward points out something important. Failure is often seen as a death stroke, something that stops our success. If we shift our perspective and look upon failure as a teacher instead, we will likely feel very differently about those moments in our life and see that failure is delay, not death.

28. “Courage allows the successful woman to fail and learn powerful lessons from the failure. So that in the end, she didn’t fail at all.” -Maya Angelou

We’ve been here before. Failure is only failure if you don’t learn from it. Let yourself get a bad grade on the test; you’ll study differently next time. Let yourself fail at a relationship; you know how to build a healthier relationship next time.

Every failure brings a lesson. Learn it and move on.

29. “Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know.” -William Saroyan

If you think of the moments you learned and grew the most, were they easy times or hard times? Challenges make us better, smarter people[2]. You don’t get wise through an easy life.

30. “Don’t fear failure—not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” -Bruce Lee

If you try to achieve something great, even a failure feels like a success. At least you had the courage to try. That’s more than most can say.

More Inspirational Quotes

Featured photo credit: Gabrielle Henderson via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Harvard Business Review: Strategies for Learning from Failure
[2] Psychology Today: How Greater Challenges Help You Grow

Read Next