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15 Things Mature Women Don’t Do In Relationships

15 Things Mature Women Don’t Do In Relationships

Do you think you are mature in relationships? Relationships can come with their own unique struggles, but there are some things that are universally immature and worth avoiding for a happier relationship.

Check out 15 things mature women don’t do in relationships.

1. They Don’t Sacrifice Other Relationships

Many people drift apart from their friends during a relationship. While this is understandable during the initial ‘honeymoon’ period, it is important to remember that that your friends and family have been in your life for far longer than your partner. Mature women make sure they have a happy balance between all of their loved ones.

2. They Don’t Forget To Thank Their Partner

After you have been in a relationship for a while, it can be easy to forget to appreciate all of the little things that they do for you. Mature women realize that sharing your life with someone is a gift – so don’t forget to say please and thank you!

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3. They Don’t Give Up Financial Independence

No matter how well off your partner is, completely giving up your financial independence can actually mean giving up your independence. Mature women don’t have to ask their partner for everything – it makes them feel proud and happy to be able to buy things with their own money.

4. They Don’t Focus On Their Partner’s Bad Traits

Mature women try to focus on their partner’s best traits rather than the negative ones. They focus on the good things their partner does and says, and they try not to judge their partner for their flaws, instead understanding that they too have flaws.

5. They Don’t Give Up Their Dreams

Mature women understand that a great relationship doesn’t drag you down – instead, it should bring out the best in you. A good relationship encourages you to pursue your dreams, and a mature woman would struggle to be happy in a relationship if she stopped following her dreams.

6. They Don’t Think Their Version Of Happiness Is The Only One

Mature women understand that everyone’s idea of happiness is different. If their partner enjoys space, they give it to them, and if they enjoy affection, they give them that instead. Most importantly, they do not make assumptions about how to make their partner happy.

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7. They Don’t Give Up Their Self Respect

It is normal to change slightly during a relationship, but mature women don’t allow their relationships to take away their self-respect. They don’t allow their partners to speak to them negatively or condescendingly – they expect their partner to treat them just as well as everyone else in their life.

8. They Don’t Take “I Love You” Lightly

Mature women understand the importance of those three words, so they work hard to keep the words special, no matter how long they have been with their partner. They don’t say ‘I love you’ at the end of every conversation – instead they say it at the right moments, to show their partner how much they appreciate them.

9. They Don’t Give Up Their Happiness

Mature women understand the importance of their happiness, and that if they are not happy in a relationship, they shouldn’t be in one. They are aware that their partner is a part of their happiness, and should be someone who can bring them happiness when they are feeling sad.

10. They Don’t Feel Like They Need To Always Be In Contact With Their Partner

Mature women do not need constant contact in their relationships, as they have their own busy lives. They are secure enough to trust their partner when they are not with them, and find non-stop emailing and texting to be a waste of their own time.

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11. They Don’t Let Their Partner Make All The Decisions

In a mature relationship both partners respect each other’s decisions. This can range from big decisions, such as getting married and having children, to smaller ones, like which restaurant to eat at tonight. Either way, your partner should always consider and respect your decisions – and vice versa!

12. They Don’t Share Their Relationship With The World

Mature women understand the value of keeping their relationship between themselves and their partner. They dislike the idea of the world knowing their business, so they avoid discussing their arguments on social media and instead focus on communicating with their partner to solve the problem.

13. They Don’t Give Up Their Space

Mature women know that no matter how great their relationship is, they still occasionally need time alone. From going to the gym to curling up with a good book, mature women value their time alone and actively seek out ‘me-time’.

14. They Don’t Resent Their Partner’s Achievements

Mature women understand that loving someone means you want them to be as happy as possible. They embrace their partner’s happiness and celebrate their achievements with them, rather than holding their partners back for more selfish reasons.

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15. They Don’t Give Up Their Identity

When you start a new relationship, it is normal to become interested in your partner’s hobbies and interests. It can be a lot of fun to share interests together, but mature women do not let themselves lose their own interests and hobbies for someone else. Instead, they remain interested in both their partner’s hobbies and their own.

Can you think of anything else that mature women don’t do in relationships? Comment your ideas below!

Featured photo credit: Mr. Lincoln via flickr.com

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2020

How to Be a Good Listener (And a Better Communicator)

How to Be a Good Listener (And a Better Communicator)

Listening skills aren’t easy for a lot of us, especially during a global pandemic when we’re especially stressed and easily distracted. The art of communication is more than just talking; it requires listening and paying attention. You have to learn how to be a good listener, as most of us aren’t born with it.

Every relationship you have needs communication to survive, and that takes work. The good news is that it’s not hard to learn how to be a good listener. In fact, if you’re someone who feels like you could use a brushing up on your communication skills, here are a few pointers that you can start using right away to help you have more meaningful connections in all of your relationships.

1. Validate Feelings

Have you ever had someone tell you that you’re overreacting or to stop crying during a conversation? I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard that at one point in our lives. The thing is, it doesn’t feel good to be dismissed by someone you care about, especially in times of heightened stress or intense discussion.

Feelings matter, regardless if you agree with them or not. One of the greatest things you can do for someone is to validate their feelings when you’re learning how to be a good listener. Tell them that you hear them and that you acknowledge how they feel[1]. When you do that, you’re creating a relatability element by showing you understand the other person’s feelings.

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When you can be more relatable to someone you care about, it raises the level of trust in your relationship. Back in March, when the pandemic started, my eight-year-old son was struggling with virtual learning away from his friends and school that he loved so much. There was no closure for him, and it was apparent in the way he approached is day as he refused to acknowledge school because it wasn’t physically in his classroom.

Most days included a breakdown of some kind, which was very stressful for all of us. One day he was laying on our living room couch, crying about how awful the situation was for him. “I want to go to school and see my friends. I miss my teacher. This is the worst thing ever,” he sobbed. As I watched him in that moment, I realized I had two choices: I could tell him to stop it, suck it up, and go to school, or I could get in it with him and help him understand that I, too, was experiencing the exact same feelings.

I decided to sit with him and take him in my arms, hug him, and tell him I felt the same way. That I wanted him to be in school with his friends, that I wanted him to be able to go to soccer practice and have fun, that I missed my friends, too, and that yes, you’re right, this is the worst.

Once I did that, something shifted. He looked at me with the realization that I did understand what he was going through because I had a similar experience. Demonstrating relatability, validating his feelings, and being a good listener to his needs helped us have a breakthrough in our communication.

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2. Be Present

Distraction is all around us. With lots of information being thrown at us at a million miles an hour, it’s no wonder communication in relationships can suffer. When you are in a discussion with someone you truly care about, whether it’s your life partner, a good friend, or you child, make sure you are free of distraction during your conversation.

Having little to no distraction allows you to be a better listener. It allows you to focus on the conversation and really digest the discussion. Furthermore, it helps in allowing you to be thoughtful and considerate in your interaction.

I find that my most successful conversations[2] happen on neutral ground. It helps to reduce stress and remove judgement from the interaction. Some of the best conversations I’ve had have been on walks, while driving in the car, or even laying in bed with the lights off. I can be fully present and engaged with the ability to absorb the conversation at hand, especially when the conversation is about a sensitive subject.

It’s hard to have an uncomfortable conversation sitting across a table or not in your own territory. It can make it feel more like an interrogation and can often start with apprehension or having your guard up. When you do your best to eliminate that from the situation, you’re offering a desire to find a solution by creating a safe space to listen and communicate more successfully.

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We tend to expose ourselves and our feelings easier when we feel like we’re not being judged. When my husband and I need to have a hard conversation, we often go for a walk or have a conversation in the middle of the night in the dark. The absence of distraction allows us to truly listen to each other’s needs and desires and creates a stronger bond of respect and intimacy.

3. Respond

As you’re trying to learn how to be a good listener, respond, don’t react. How many times have you regretted the way you reacted to a conversation with someone you care about? Whether it’s a personal or professional relationship, the way you reply is important.

Because we’re human and it’s only natural to get defensive, especially if the communication is not something we agree with, we typically react without giving consideration to the big picture. That isn’t helpful when you’re trying to make progress in a situation.

You may be thinking, how does listening come into play when you’re replying to someone else’s engagement with you? It doesn’t matter if you’re having that conversation via text, email, or in person; the way you absorb the information is going to directly affect the way you have your interactive dialogue.

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Think about a time when you’ve been at work and received an email from a co-worker that triggered you[3]. It’s happened to all of us. A lot of times, we hit the reply button and go to town unloading our feelings and thoughts without taking the time to fully digest and consider the content in front of us. We’re not “listening” to what our peer is requesting.

Handling delicate situations can be tricky. That’s why I like to advise my clients to respond rather than react, and start with the end in mind. When you’re faced with a challenging situation, think about how you want that particular experience to be resolved. Do you want to be able to walk away with a hug, an agreement, and a positive outcome? If so, the way you do that is by being a good listener and planning your response.

Final Thoughts

Communication in any relationship, personal or professional is hard. We have to be committed to showing up and doing the work to make sure they are successful and thriving. Learning how to be a good listener plays a huge part in the success of each and every one.

The next time you find yourself in a situation where you need to pay attention, remember to validate, be present, and respond with thoughtful consideration. You’ll be amazed at how much your interactions improve.

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Featured photo credit: Standsome Worklifestyle via unsplash.com

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