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15 Things About Love That Are Not Told In Fairy Tales

15 Things About Love That Are Not Told In Fairy Tales

While there are good values we can all learn and appreciate from fairy tales, there are things about love which we weren’t told in them. Here are 15 things about love which we weren’t told in fairy tales:

1. You don’t always get to be tolerated.

Mutual compromise is important in building a strong relationship. Knowing when to tolerate each other makes the relationship last long, and therefor it take both partners to understand when to give in. Expecting the other person to only tolerate you in all situations is only going to develop resentments and eventually damage the relationship.

2. You don’t get something effortlessly.

You get what you give. You might think that people who are in a happy relationship are lucky because they found the right person. But luck came from hard work. The truth is, they have somehow been putting in effort that is appreciated by their partners.

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3. Love isn’t only about beautiful, wonderful things.

Love is sacrifice. When the other person’s happiness is more important than your own, you know it is love. If you can put the other person’s need before yours, that shows true love.

4. A good looking couple doesn’t define equality.

You define what is equal. Equality is when you do something for the person you love knowing the reverse is equally plausible. Love is not physically measurable.

5. You don’t truly understand love simply by being attracted to a person.

You have to experience hurt to understand love. How do you know how much a person means to you if you have never felt the pain from experiencing something that might hurt you?

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6. Good looks don’t ensure happiness.

Looks do not define a person. Just because a person is not good looking by society’s standards, doesn’t mean that he or she are not lovable. We have all seen a happy couple who are average looking. What counts is the heart, because looks will fade in time, but a beautiful heart will stay.

7. Love doesn’t exist singularly.

When there is love, there will be hate. You will not get upset over what your lover does or say if he or she doesn’t matter to you. Have you experienced hating someone that you used to love very much? This shows how much he or she mattered to you. You wouldn’t hate someone you don’t care much about.

8. Living in a beautiful castle doesn’t define love.

You cannot define love with material possessions. Sure, money defines the kind of life you will live in this society. However, it doesn’t define love. What defines love is the effort your partner took in order to make you happy. It’s the idea of genuine care for the person you love.

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9. It is not over when there are roadblocks in the relationship.

Obstacles do not destroy your relationship, they are challenges that will strengthen your relationship if you choose to fight through them. You will never see the beauty of your relationship if you don’t have experience fighting for it.

10. It’s not the differences in personality that separate a partner, it’s differences in lifestyle and not having a goal together that separate them.

It’s difficult to be together if your way of living is very different from your partner’s. You fade apart when you don’t have a specific goal that you aim to achieve together. Be it a goal to build a family, a goal of having a child, a goal to succeed financially, or any other goals that you can work on together.

11. Misunderstanding doesn’t solve itself by coincidence.

An important duty of love is to listen. Misunderstanding and arguments often occur when you are not willing to truly consider the other person’s thoughts.

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12. Don’t just wait to be loved. Love yourself first, in order to be loved.

If you don’t know how to love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? Loving yourself means accepting yourself for who you are while refining yourself by improving to become a better person.

13. Love does change.

The feeling of sweetness and romance that often occurs at the beginning of a relationship may not last, but that does not mean that you are no longer in love after that period has passed. It just meant that you will be at a different stage in your relationship. We all tend to give our best at the beginning of a relationship, and as the time goes by, we get comfortable being our true selves.

14. Love is fighting the battle together.

Walking hand in hand through hard times in life makes love stronger than ever before. It isn’t easy to stick around when life is giving you and your partner a hard time. But walking through it and believing that you will go through it together is what makes the relationship strong.

15. Love is not easy.

But love is worth it when you find the one who is willing to walk through thick and thin with you.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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