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15 Things About Love That Are Not Told In Fairy Tales

15 Things About Love That Are Not Told In Fairy Tales

While there are good values we can all learn and appreciate from fairy tales, there are things about love which we weren’t told in them. Here are 15 things about love which we weren’t told in fairy tales:

1. You don’t always get to be tolerated.

Mutual compromise is important in building a strong relationship. Knowing when to tolerate each other makes the relationship last long, and therefor it take both partners to understand when to give in. Expecting the other person to only tolerate you in all situations is only going to develop resentments and eventually damage the relationship.

2. You don’t get something effortlessly.

You get what you give. You might think that people who are in a happy relationship are lucky because they found the right person. But luck came from hard work. The truth is, they have somehow been putting in effort that is appreciated by their partners.

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3. Love isn’t only about beautiful, wonderful things.

Love is sacrifice. When the other person’s happiness is more important than your own, you know it is love. If you can put the other person’s need before yours, that shows true love.

4. A good looking couple doesn’t define equality.

You define what is equal. Equality is when you do something for the person you love knowing the reverse is equally plausible. Love is not physically measurable.

5. You don’t truly understand love simply by being attracted to a person.

You have to experience hurt to understand love. How do you know how much a person means to you if you have never felt the pain from experiencing something that might hurt you?

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6. Good looks don’t ensure happiness.

Looks do not define a person. Just because a person is not good looking by society’s standards, doesn’t mean that he or she are not lovable. We have all seen a happy couple who are average looking. What counts is the heart, because looks will fade in time, but a beautiful heart will stay.

7. Love doesn’t exist singularly.

When there is love, there will be hate. You will not get upset over what your lover does or say if he or she doesn’t matter to you. Have you experienced hating someone that you used to love very much? This shows how much he or she mattered to you. You wouldn’t hate someone you don’t care much about.

8. Living in a beautiful castle doesn’t define love.

You cannot define love with material possessions. Sure, money defines the kind of life you will live in this society. However, it doesn’t define love. What defines love is the effort your partner took in order to make you happy. It’s the idea of genuine care for the person you love.

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9. It is not over when there are roadblocks in the relationship.

Obstacles do not destroy your relationship, they are challenges that will strengthen your relationship if you choose to fight through them. You will never see the beauty of your relationship if you don’t have experience fighting for it.

10. It’s not the differences in personality that separate a partner, it’s differences in lifestyle and not having a goal together that separate them.

It’s difficult to be together if your way of living is very different from your partner’s. You fade apart when you don’t have a specific goal that you aim to achieve together. Be it a goal to build a family, a goal of having a child, a goal to succeed financially, or any other goals that you can work on together.

11. Misunderstanding doesn’t solve itself by coincidence.

An important duty of love is to listen. Misunderstanding and arguments often occur when you are not willing to truly consider the other person’s thoughts.

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12. Don’t just wait to be loved. Love yourself first, in order to be loved.

If you don’t know how to love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? Loving yourself means accepting yourself for who you are while refining yourself by improving to become a better person.

13. Love does change.

The feeling of sweetness and romance that often occurs at the beginning of a relationship may not last, but that does not mean that you are no longer in love after that period has passed. It just meant that you will be at a different stage in your relationship. We all tend to give our best at the beginning of a relationship, and as the time goes by, we get comfortable being our true selves.

14. Love is fighting the battle together.

Walking hand in hand through hard times in life makes love stronger than ever before. It isn’t easy to stick around when life is giving you and your partner a hard time. But walking through it and believing that you will go through it together is what makes the relationship strong.

15. Love is not easy.

But love is worth it when you find the one who is willing to walk through thick and thin with you.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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