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15 Steps for Creating Your Hero’s Path

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15 Steps for Creating Your Hero’s Path

Go ahead and peek! I won’t tell anyone! Look under your first two shirt buttons and see if there is a bright blue spandex superhero suit underneath.

You don’t see it yet? Don’t worry. You will!

Any one of us can be a hero. Let’s go even further. Any one of us can be a Super Hero. We just need to know how. The path is there but is hidden under the thick vines and thorns of false information and confusion. No problem. Follow me as we part the thorns and discover the true path hidden underneath.

1) Know who and what you are.

Superheros know that they are different. They know that they are not quite human and see things differently than many of those around them. They have a higher responsibility level than ordinary human beings because they know how powerful they are.

The first thing one must realize when one decides to assume superhero status is that there is a part of us that is flesh and bone and another part, a much more powerful but suppressed part of us that is divine. It is the breath of God. It is the life force, the Elan Vital and it is us.

One who knows this and embraces it, knows that he has a deep responsibility. I am not talking about responsibility as blame of self or others, but just plain responsibility for making things right. We have that power and if you seek super hero status, you must embrace who you really are and accept all of the power inherent in you.

2) Understand that you really do know best.

You may not want to face the truth of certain situations but on some level you KNOW what is really going on and what is the correct action.

I once heard someone say, “A rising tide lifts all boats.” If you are confused about what actions or directions are best, just be the rising tide. Lift those around you as much as you possibly can and you will be lifted.

3) Know that some of the things you are learning now may be skills needed by your future self.

Steve Jobs talked about how he learned all kinds of random skills and when he started up Apple, they all seemed to come together. I personally believe that it is our future selves talking when we have a mad desire to learn or do something new. Never stop learning! Be curious about everything! Skills have a habit of coming in handy when you least expect it.

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4) Understand what fear is.

There are two types of fear. One is fear of something that is a real threat or danger. This fear is to be heeded and acted upon to avoid catastrophe.

The other type of fear comes from past pain. Past pain is just that—PAST pain. It has no bearing on the present and has a tendency to make us shut down and back away, even if the circumstances are completely different than the circumstances surrounding the pain we once felt.

This makes us paralyzed, and some people are paralyzed to the point that they never leave their houses. This fear is not helpful in that it is way too sweeping and prohibits you from seeing things in the present. You may not see that the circumstances are different. You may not even see that your fear stems from a completely different and long forgotten situation.

If your fear is non specific and is fear of something that will not cause you imminent collapse, conquer your fear and move ahead.

You will also find that fear diminishes greatly in the face of control of a situation. Control comes from skill and knowledge.

Find out what you are really afraid of, face it and learn as much about it as you can. Then go do what you need to do.

5) Be in good communication with all aspects of your life.

Unpleasant occurrences are a lot less likely to sneak up on you if you are in communication with the people and environment around you. When you look at people and things in your present time environment, look at them in THE PRESENT.

So many times we look at situations and see them as the same as those awful ones that have occurred in the past. Whenever you start telling yourself that “this has happened before,” understand that this is not true. Situations that are in the future have not happened before. It is a new instance; try to see it as such. This does not mean that one should make the same mistakes over and over, but look at each situation newly as they rise up in front of you.

6) Understand people

People have a tendency to seem confusing, but they are not that incomprehensible. The best way to understand your fellow man is to listen to him. Everyone has a story and some are quite amazing. Listen to everyone’s story and you will start to get an idea of what even the average Joe has been through and what he is about.

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I have recently been taking part in a radio show where we have live callers. On our show we talked to a man who is now a real estate broker. We found out that he had been in wars and has traveled extensively. He has been rich and lost everything several times. He has seen some things we only dream about or have nightmares about. Yet, he walks among us as one of us. Scratch the surface of your fellows. They are really quite remarkable.

7) Keep your integrity

I wrote a recent blog on my website about the importance of integrity and how several times this life I have lost everything, but knew I was correct in walking away because I kept my integrity.

The definition of “Integrity” is twofold:

First, it is adherence to a moral or ethical code (“Moral” meaning a code that one has agreed to and “Ethical,” meaning it is what one knows inherently is right)

The second definition of “Integrity” is wholeness, or freedom from blemish.

If you look at it, the first definition is a recipe that results in the second definition. You can remain whole, unblemished and perfect if you stick like glue to your own personal ethical code.

If you have strayed and are divided against yourself, you can find your way back by outlining your ethical code and sticking to it.

No one is too far gone to heal himself. Ever.

8) Respect yourself as much or more than the person you respect the most in your life.

When one is given respect, unless one is very confused, one strives to be worthy of respect. Respect yourself. Stand up for yourself. Defend yourself as you would someone you dearly love. Never say anything to yourself you would even think about saying to someone you love.

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One of the biggest scams going in society today is the idea that you have to be “humble” by putting yourself down. You can’t “show off” your talents. I completely disagree. You damage yourself by making yourself smaller and the only ones you please are those who profit by your small stature. Grow into a giant. Encourage others to grow into giants. We need way more giants than weak men right now.  Only the weakest among us will try to keep you small.

9) Be compassionate with those in pain but never let them be victims.

This world is a harsh place. There is no disguising that fact. We all get knocked down and knocked down hard. We all deserve compassion and a helping hand when we need it.

that said, we do a disservice to those who spend their lives being victimized. What they are saying is that they are too small, too weak and too degraded to survive on their own. Anyone, in their eyes is better than they  are. If you agree with them that they are helpless, you convince them that it is so.

Look at kids who have had everything given to them. Most of them are manifesting incompetence in life. They feel that they cannot contribute because they have not learned how. Then look at those who have worked for what they have. They have learned to be resourceful. They have self respect and know they can get by on their own. They better understand their personal value.

There are some unfortunate people who have been hit very hard by life to the point that they feel they will never recover. When you meet someone like that, by all means help them and provide support, but find out what they can do and invite them to do it, even if it is a tiny thing.

It is a horrible awful thing when one loses his self respect and decides that he is no use to anyone. Help him get back his self respect and see that he has value. We inherently equate our value with what we can contribute to others. If we feel that we can contribute nothing, well, that is a very painful place to live.

10) Never give up no matter what.

The only winners are those who never give up. When hit with adversity, decide whether you need to change your game plan, but don’t give up your goal. Those who stand with you are your friends. Those who try to sow doubts about yourself are not.

11) Always have a goal even a small one.

Your goals in life are the things that move you forward in the time stream toward a better life for yourself and others. Don’t let past experiences shape you; let future experiences that you, yourself have placed in the future, shape you. You will be a lot happier and healthier.

12) Always have dreams, lots of dreams, no matter how old you are.

Our futures and those of others around us are created in the form of dreams. You never know when the opportunity might arise to make one or more come true.

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13) Be willing to change.

It does not make you wrong if you change.  If you decide that your entire life is not what you want it to be for whatever reason, it does not mean that your current or past life was invalid, wrong or not what you wanted at that time. A certain amount of volatility is inherent in us, and there is nothing wrong with a high level of volatility when it is accompanied by a high level of responsibility.

14) Explore alternate viewpoints.

There is nothing more interesting to me than other people’s universes. The way they have constructed their lives, who they are, what they have been through and how they have crafted their views is my fascination. When you view these things objectively and without prejudice, you learn about people and about yourself. Don’t be afraid to find out.

15) Understand that failure is not failing.

It is extremely rare for a person who is trying something entirely new to succeed on the first try, or the second, or the third. This is not failure. Failure is giving up in disgust and taking your ball and going home. The people at the top of their fields worked hard, lost ground, gained it back and lost it again before finally arriving where they are. Failure is only and ever what you decide it to be and if you decide it doesn’t exist, that is legitimate too.

A final word of advice.

Once you have decided to be whatever type of hero you want to be, you must embrace this path wholeheartedly. Your purpose in life is so important that it cannot be halfway accepted for you to be well and happy.

I have personal experience with this. I have had many different careers in my life. Some have aligned pretty well with my true purpose, which is to ally myself with the heroes I see who really want to change this world and make it better, and to reach all the people of earth and help in whatever way I can, to bring them up to a much higher level of survival. Other careers I have had have been wildly off track.

Until I found and embraced who I really was and the correct method in fulfilling my purpose, I was dissatisfied, tired, and to some degree, jaded.

I had to stop hiding and agreeing with people who felt that I must be limited. It was a huge responsibility and a giant amount of wor,k but I have found that it is the only way I can be happy.

Look carefully. Find out what your TRUE purpose is. It may be huge and if so, don’t back away. Embrace it for all the amazing future wins, possible losses and scary situations it contains. When you find it and when you embrace it, you will be solidly on the hero’s path and nothing can strike you off.

Good luck. Please write me from time to time on your journeys and tell me how it is going!

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Last Updated on January 24, 2022

21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

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21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

Having texting and video conferencing at our fingertips, it appears that maintaining a long-distance relationship is easier than ever. Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 3 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.

Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship, as anyone with a long-distance relationship will tell you.

Many long-distance relationships still seem emotionally difficult despite the lack of regular physical proximity.

People often think long-distance relationships will never work. It may be discouraged by your family, and some of your best friends may tell you not to take it too seriously in case you end up heartbroken.

Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

Still, many of us try them.

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However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

Here’re 21 tips on how to make a long distance relationship work:

1. Avoid excessive communication.

It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”

Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

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2. See it as an opportunity.

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

View it as a learning journey for both of you. This is an opportunity for you to prove your love for one another. According to a Chinese proverb, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long-distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.

For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it all right for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.

To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

5. Talk dirty with each other.

Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. In a way, sexual desire is like the glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sexual need is not only biological but also emotional.

Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.

6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make your partner extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.

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You can fall victim to your traps by going out with eye candy from work after work or dating someone from your past who has been flirting with you without realizing it. Before entering a dangerous situation, you need to recognize the dangers.

Listen to your heart, but don’t just rely on it. Make sure you also listen to your mind.

7. Do things together.

Play a game online together. Watch a documentary at the same time on YouTube or Vimeo. Share a song on Skype while another plays the guitar. Video-call each other and go for a walk together. Together, go online shopping – and buy each other gifts (see #13).

You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

8. Do similar things.

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

9. Make visits to each other.

Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. These are typical for couples in long-distance relationships but more special and intimate for long-distance couples.

The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

10. Have a goal in mind.

Are we going to be apart for a long time?” “what about the future?” These are the questions you should ask yourselves.

In fact, a couple cannot stay in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.

So make a plan with each other. Set up a timeline, mark down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.

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It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

That’s right, you need some motivation to make a relationship last too. Find out more about what motivates you here.

11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.

You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

12. Stay honest with each other.

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

13. Know each other’s schedules.

It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives, i.e., college midterms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, etc. Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important.

14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.

Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.

Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.

16. Get a good messaging app.

This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allows interactions beyond words and emoticons.

Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g., Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL, etc.) at a low price. Occasionally, the app will give out free sticker sets for promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.

17. Snail-mail your gift.

Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such.

18. Stay positive.

You need to constantly inject positive energy into the long-distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful, and you can sometimes feel lonely, but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.

One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

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19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

20. Video-call whenever possible.

Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.

21. Give each other pet names.

Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going. Having special names for each other reserved only for one another are heart-warming. Hearing that one word with love lifts our spirits up, and we feel assured all over again.

Chaos seems to fade away just by hearing that special word from someone special.

With the best wishes…

Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. Love just happens. The same goes for turning off those feelings, even when you get the perfect job halfway across the country.

Neither one of us expects to be long-distance in a relationship. But if you’re in a relationship like this, you’ll just have to make the most out of a difficult situation. These advice for long distance relationships will hopefully help you stay strong and cheerful when living apart from one another.

More Recommended Relationships Experts on Lifehack
  • Carol Morgan —  A communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach
  • Dr. Magdalena Battles — A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault
  • Randy Skilton —  An educator in the areas of relationships and self-help

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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