Advertising
Advertising

15 Steps for Creating Your Hero’s Path

15 Steps for Creating Your Hero’s Path

Go ahead and peek! I won’t tell anyone! Look under your first two shirt buttons and see if there is a bright blue spandex superhero suit underneath.

You don’t see it yet? Don’t worry. You will!

Any one of us can be a hero. Let’s go even further. Any one of us can be a Super Hero. We just need to know how. The path is there but is hidden under the thick vines and thorns of false information and confusion. No problem. Follow me as we part the thorns and discover the true path hidden underneath.

1) Know who and what you are.

Superheros know that they are different. They know that they are not quite human and see things differently than many of those around them. They have a higher responsibility level than ordinary human beings because they know how powerful they are.

The first thing one must realize when one decides to assume superhero status is that there is a part of us that is flesh and bone and another part, a much more powerful but suppressed part of us that is divine. It is the breath of God. It is the life force, the Elan Vital and it is us.

One who knows this and embraces it, knows that he has a deep responsibility. I am not talking about responsibility as blame of self or others, but just plain responsibility for making things right. We have that power and if you seek super hero status, you must embrace who you really are and accept all of the power inherent in you.

2) Understand that you really do know best.

You may not want to face the truth of certain situations but on some level you KNOW what is really going on and what is the correct action.

I once heard someone say, “A rising tide lifts all boats.” If you are confused about what actions or directions are best, just be the rising tide. Lift those around you as much as you possibly can and you will be lifted.

3) Know that some of the things you are learning now may be skills needed by your future self.

Steve Jobs talked about how he learned all kinds of random skills and when he started up Apple, they all seemed to come together. I personally believe that it is our future selves talking when we have a mad desire to learn or do something new. Never stop learning! Be curious about everything! Skills have a habit of coming in handy when you least expect it.

Advertising

4) Understand what fear is.

There are two types of fear. One is fear of something that is a real threat or danger. This fear is to be heeded and acted upon to avoid catastrophe.

The other type of fear comes from past pain. Past pain is just that—PAST pain. It has no bearing on the present and has a tendency to make us shut down and back away, even if the circumstances are completely different than the circumstances surrounding the pain we once felt.

This makes us paralyzed, and some people are paralyzed to the point that they never leave their houses. This fear is not helpful in that it is way too sweeping and prohibits you from seeing things in the present. You may not see that the circumstances are different. You may not even see that your fear stems from a completely different and long forgotten situation.

If your fear is non specific and is fear of something that will not cause you imminent collapse, conquer your fear and move ahead.

You will also find that fear diminishes greatly in the face of control of a situation. Control comes from skill and knowledge.

Find out what you are really afraid of, face it and learn as much about it as you can. Then go do what you need to do.

5) Be in good communication with all aspects of your life.

Unpleasant occurrences are a lot less likely to sneak up on you if you are in communication with the people and environment around you. When you look at people and things in your present time environment, look at them in THE PRESENT.

So many times we look at situations and see them as the same as those awful ones that have occurred in the past. Whenever you start telling yourself that “this has happened before,” understand that this is not true. Situations that are in the future have not happened before. It is a new instance; try to see it as such. This does not mean that one should make the same mistakes over and over, but look at each situation newly as they rise up in front of you.

6) Understand people

People have a tendency to seem confusing, but they are not that incomprehensible. The best way to understand your fellow man is to listen to him. Everyone has a story and some are quite amazing. Listen to everyone’s story and you will start to get an idea of what even the average Joe has been through and what he is about.

Advertising

I have recently been taking part in a radio show where we have live callers. On our show we talked to a man who is now a real estate broker. We found out that he had been in wars and has traveled extensively. He has been rich and lost everything several times. He has seen some things we only dream about or have nightmares about. Yet, he walks among us as one of us. Scratch the surface of your fellows. They are really quite remarkable.

7) Keep your integrity

I wrote a recent blog on my website about the importance of integrity and how several times this life I have lost everything, but knew I was correct in walking away because I kept my integrity.

The definition of “Integrity” is twofold:

First, it is adherence to a moral or ethical code (“Moral” meaning a code that one has agreed to and “Ethical,” meaning it is what one knows inherently is right)

The second definition of “Integrity” is wholeness, or freedom from blemish.

If you look at it, the first definition is a recipe that results in the second definition. You can remain whole, unblemished and perfect if you stick like glue to your own personal ethical code.

If you have strayed and are divided against yourself, you can find your way back by outlining your ethical code and sticking to it.

No one is too far gone to heal himself. Ever.

8) Respect yourself as much or more than the person you respect the most in your life.

When one is given respect, unless one is very confused, one strives to be worthy of respect. Respect yourself. Stand up for yourself. Defend yourself as you would someone you dearly love. Never say anything to yourself you would even think about saying to someone you love.

Advertising

One of the biggest scams going in society today is the idea that you have to be “humble” by putting yourself down. You can’t “show off” your talents. I completely disagree. You damage yourself by making yourself smaller and the only ones you please are those who profit by your small stature. Grow into a giant. Encourage others to grow into giants. We need way more giants than weak men right now.  Only the weakest among us will try to keep you small.

9) Be compassionate with those in pain but never let them be victims.

This world is a harsh place. There is no disguising that fact. We all get knocked down and knocked down hard. We all deserve compassion and a helping hand when we need it.

that said, we do a disservice to those who spend their lives being victimized. What they are saying is that they are too small, too weak and too degraded to survive on their own. Anyone, in their eyes is better than they  are. If you agree with them that they are helpless, you convince them that it is so.

Look at kids who have had everything given to them. Most of them are manifesting incompetence in life. They feel that they cannot contribute because they have not learned how. Then look at those who have worked for what they have. They have learned to be resourceful. They have self respect and know they can get by on their own. They better understand their personal value.

There are some unfortunate people who have been hit very hard by life to the point that they feel they will never recover. When you meet someone like that, by all means help them and provide support, but find out what they can do and invite them to do it, even if it is a tiny thing.

It is a horrible awful thing when one loses his self respect and decides that he is no use to anyone. Help him get back his self respect and see that he has value. We inherently equate our value with what we can contribute to others. If we feel that we can contribute nothing, well, that is a very painful place to live.

10) Never give up no matter what.

The only winners are those who never give up. When hit with adversity, decide whether you need to change your game plan, but don’t give up your goal. Those who stand with you are your friends. Those who try to sow doubts about yourself are not.

11) Always have a goal even a small one.

Your goals in life are the things that move you forward in the time stream toward a better life for yourself and others. Don’t let past experiences shape you; let future experiences that you, yourself have placed in the future, shape you. You will be a lot happier and healthier.

12) Always have dreams, lots of dreams, no matter how old you are.

Our futures and those of others around us are created in the form of dreams. You never know when the opportunity might arise to make one or more come true.

Advertising

13) Be willing to change.

It does not make you wrong if you change.  If you decide that your entire life is not what you want it to be for whatever reason, it does not mean that your current or past life was invalid, wrong or not what you wanted at that time. A certain amount of volatility is inherent in us, and there is nothing wrong with a high level of volatility when it is accompanied by a high level of responsibility.

14) Explore alternate viewpoints.

There is nothing more interesting to me than other people’s universes. The way they have constructed their lives, who they are, what they have been through and how they have crafted their views is my fascination. When you view these things objectively and without prejudice, you learn about people and about yourself. Don’t be afraid to find out.

15) Understand that failure is not failing.

It is extremely rare for a person who is trying something entirely new to succeed on the first try, or the second, or the third. This is not failure. Failure is giving up in disgust and taking your ball and going home. The people at the top of their fields worked hard, lost ground, gained it back and lost it again before finally arriving where they are. Failure is only and ever what you decide it to be and if you decide it doesn’t exist, that is legitimate too.

A final word of advice.

Once you have decided to be whatever type of hero you want to be, you must embrace this path wholeheartedly. Your purpose in life is so important that it cannot be halfway accepted for you to be well and happy.

I have personal experience with this. I have had many different careers in my life. Some have aligned pretty well with my true purpose, which is to ally myself with the heroes I see who really want to change this world and make it better, and to reach all the people of earth and help in whatever way I can, to bring them up to a much higher level of survival. Other careers I have had have been wildly off track.

Until I found and embraced who I really was and the correct method in fulfilling my purpose, I was dissatisfied, tired, and to some degree, jaded.

I had to stop hiding and agreeing with people who felt that I must be limited. It was a huge responsibility and a giant amount of wor,k but I have found that it is the only way I can be happy.

Look carefully. Find out what your TRUE purpose is. It may be huge and if so, don’t back away. Embrace it for all the amazing future wins, possible losses and scary situations it contains. When you find it and when you embrace it, you will be solidly on the hero’s path and nothing can strike you off.

Good luck. Please write me from time to time on your journeys and tell me how it is going!

Advertising

More by this author

Chris Ellis

Successful Author, Life Coach and Musician

Living in Fear? 14 Ways to Live Life Free of Fear and Full of Hope The Little Prince Quotes That Will Inspire You: Wit and Wisdom Explained Mastering Onstage Anxiety Can You Beat Onstage Anxiety? Travel is the Wise Man's Addiction 15 Reasons Traveling Is the Wise Man’s Addiction Be Lucky! 15 Ways to Create Your Own Luck

Trending in Communication

1 Is Living Together Before Marriage Good or Bad? 2 How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication 3 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 4 I Hate My Wife – Why a Husband Would Resent His Spouse 5 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

Advertising

Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

Advertising

Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

Advertising

Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

Advertising

This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

Advertising

Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

More Tips Improving Listening Skills

Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next