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12 Signs That You’re in a Highly Cherished Relationship

12 Signs That You’re in a Highly Cherished Relationship

How can you tell that you are in a highly cherished relationship? Usually, the signs are pretty obvious. Read the 12 pointers below that will confirm if you are on the right track. If you cannot tick off all these, then there might be some repair-work to be done!

What do we mean by cherished?

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” – Oscar Wilde

Most marriage or partnership ceremonies mention the word ‘cherish.’ The best definition of the word ‘cherished’ is ‘nurtured.’ Think of a plant which needs water, sunshine, and a bit of tender loving care. Just do that today and every day. The plant or relationship will grow and flourish as you discover each other.

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” – Michelle C. Ustaszeski

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1. You never make these mistakes.

Watch this five minute video which will show how this couple went wrong and how they failed miserably to cherish each other.

2. You get a message every day.

These messages are usually little gems to show you are loved and appreciated. They can be silly or funny ‘love you’ messages, notes left in weird places, in jokes, and coded messages. They have one thing in common – they show that you are treasured.

3. You are up to-date on your partner’s schedule.

Simple, but effective. You know what is happening at work and vice versa. You swap worries, anxieties, and successes. These are always followed up with specific questions about how the day went. Don’t forget to ask for more details.

4. Your partner or spouse has no problems with your success.

Promotions, awards, brilliant performance reports, and success in the sports arena are always ok. Your partner does not feel threatened or lose self-esteem when you are on a winning streak. It is all part of your personal development and you should never feel stifled in a relationship. A study, led by Kate Ratliff at the University of Florida showed:

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  • Men were more likely to suffer loss of self-esteem when their partner achieved success.
  • The ‘Oscar Love Curse’ after women won Oscars may have affected some relationships negatively.
  • Many partnerships broke up, eg. Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, and Kate Winslet, just to name a few.
  • Dutch men felt similarly although the gender gap there is less than in the USA.

5. You never feel threatened, insulted, or inadequate.

When your partner is angry, you never feel that you are under threat or that there is a risk for your safety. Angry moments melt like snow in the sun. There is no fallout afterwards. You have never experienced insults or threats and you have certainly never been emotionally blackmailed. A positive indicator might be that 95% of the time you spend together is calm, peaceful, and mutually fulfilling. You do not feel that you have to act a part in a domestic play.

6. You share precious moments.

“Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.” – Booth Tarkington

You both ensure that special occasions are celebrated and recorded. But this also includes sharing everyday pleasurable moments when doing things together, such as watching sports or eating out. They will be valuable moments later on and will be visual reminders of a cherished relationship.

7. You are grateful and you say thank you.

Every day, your partner shows you some appreciation simply for your presence. You can respond by being grateful and using words to show that the appreciation is mutual.

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8. You have your own space.

Space is not just a physical room where you can be quiet and alone when you need to be. No relationship can thrive when a clinging partner threatens to suffocate you. You also feel that you have room to grow, develop your own projects, and hang out with your own friends. Your partner feels the same about his/her interests and you both ask how these are progressing.

9. You are always given support.

“I never wanted a Guardian Angel. I didn’t ask for one. One was assigned to me.” – Mercedes McCambridge

You feel your partner is like a guardian angel who offers support, advice, and help for you to get through a difficult patch, like an issue at work, bereavement, or a health problem.

10. You always make time to spend time together.

Couples grow apart very often because they are too bound up with work and commitments. Eventually, the lack of prime time together becomes a negative force. Workaholic tendencies need to be checked because loneliness is often the first step in a break-up.

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11. You are never nagged.

Lucky you! How many partners would like to be able to say that? It is a sad fact that the actual nagging about trivial things becomes a negative message. The partner is aware that he or she is not appreciated, is inadequate, or the partnership is floundering like a ship on the rocks. Very often, nagging means that there are underlying problems that need to be addressed.

12. You feel perfectly at ease in the relationship.

Tom Hanks, in the film ’Sleepless in Seattle,’ summed it up so well…

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it.”

So, how did you do? Were you able to tick off all the 12 signs that you truly are in a highly cherished relationship? If not, who is the guilty party? If it is you, then you can start to fix a few things right away. If it is your partner you could show him or her this post. Better still, you could just have a chat about it. Much cheaper than going to a therapist!

Featured photo credit: Couple in Bed — Image by Ole Graf/zefa/Corbis via via Flickr , Ole Graf

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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