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12 Signs That You’re in a Highly Cherished Relationship

12 Signs That You’re in a Highly Cherished Relationship

How can you tell that you are in a highly cherished relationship? Usually, the signs are pretty obvious. Read the 12 pointers below that will confirm if you are on the right track. If you cannot tick off all these, then there might be some repair-work to be done!

What do we mean by cherished?

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” – Oscar Wilde

Most marriage or partnership ceremonies mention the word ‘cherish.’ The best definition of the word ‘cherished’ is ‘nurtured.’ Think of a plant which needs water, sunshine, and a bit of tender loving care. Just do that today and every day. The plant or relationship will grow and flourish as you discover each other.

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” – Michelle C. Ustaszeski

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1. You never make these mistakes.

Watch this five minute video which will show how this couple went wrong and how they failed miserably to cherish each other.

2. You get a message every day.

These messages are usually little gems to show you are loved and appreciated. They can be silly or funny ‘love you’ messages, notes left in weird places, in jokes, and coded messages. They have one thing in common – they show that you are treasured.

3. You are up to-date on your partner’s schedule.

Simple, but effective. You know what is happening at work and vice versa. You swap worries, anxieties, and successes. These are always followed up with specific questions about how the day went. Don’t forget to ask for more details.

4. Your partner or spouse has no problems with your success.

Promotions, awards, brilliant performance reports, and success in the sports arena are always ok. Your partner does not feel threatened or lose self-esteem when you are on a winning streak. It is all part of your personal development and you should never feel stifled in a relationship. A study, led by Kate Ratliff at the University of Florida showed:

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  • Men were more likely to suffer loss of self-esteem when their partner achieved success.
  • The ‘Oscar Love Curse’ after women won Oscars may have affected some relationships negatively.
  • Many partnerships broke up, eg. Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, and Kate Winslet, just to name a few.
  • Dutch men felt similarly although the gender gap there is less than in the USA.

5. You never feel threatened, insulted, or inadequate.

When your partner is angry, you never feel that you are under threat or that there is a risk for your safety. Angry moments melt like snow in the sun. There is no fallout afterwards. You have never experienced insults or threats and you have certainly never been emotionally blackmailed. A positive indicator might be that 95% of the time you spend together is calm, peaceful, and mutually fulfilling. You do not feel that you have to act a part in a domestic play.

6. You share precious moments.

“Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.” – Booth Tarkington

You both ensure that special occasions are celebrated and recorded. But this also includes sharing everyday pleasurable moments when doing things together, such as watching sports or eating out. They will be valuable moments later on and will be visual reminders of a cherished relationship.

7. You are grateful and you say thank you.

Every day, your partner shows you some appreciation simply for your presence. You can respond by being grateful and using words to show that the appreciation is mutual.

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8. You have your own space.

Space is not just a physical room where you can be quiet and alone when you need to be. No relationship can thrive when a clinging partner threatens to suffocate you. You also feel that you have room to grow, develop your own projects, and hang out with your own friends. Your partner feels the same about his/her interests and you both ask how these are progressing.

9. You are always given support.

“I never wanted a Guardian Angel. I didn’t ask for one. One was assigned to me.” – Mercedes McCambridge

You feel your partner is like a guardian angel who offers support, advice, and help for you to get through a difficult patch, like an issue at work, bereavement, or a health problem.

10. You always make time to spend time together.

Couples grow apart very often because they are too bound up with work and commitments. Eventually, the lack of prime time together becomes a negative force. Workaholic tendencies need to be checked because loneliness is often the first step in a break-up.

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11. You are never nagged.

Lucky you! How many partners would like to be able to say that? It is a sad fact that the actual nagging about trivial things becomes a negative message. The partner is aware that he or she is not appreciated, is inadequate, or the partnership is floundering like a ship on the rocks. Very often, nagging means that there are underlying problems that need to be addressed.

12. You feel perfectly at ease in the relationship.

Tom Hanks, in the film ’Sleepless in Seattle,’ summed it up so well…

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it.”

So, how did you do? Were you able to tick off all the 12 signs that you truly are in a highly cherished relationship? If not, who is the guilty party? If it is you, then you can start to fix a few things right away. If it is your partner you could show him or her this post. Better still, you could just have a chat about it. Much cheaper than going to a therapist!

Featured photo credit: Couple in Bed — Image by Ole Graf/zefa/Corbis via via Flickr , Ole Graf

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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