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How A Good Relationship Can Keep You From Failure In Life And Business

How A Good Relationship Can Keep You From Failure In Life And Business

You have probably heard the phrase “behind every great man is a great woman.” Of course, nowadays the phrase could also be reversed, but the point is still the same: good relationships can help make you successful in life and in the workplace.

This is important for those in a relationship and for those who are single to contemplate. Those who are single might consider the fact that it is beneficial to have a partner in life. Those who are in a relationship need to understand that what they do can make or break their counterpart’s success in the workplace. I need to remind myself of this as well, so let us learn together, shall we?

1. A partner can remind you what you love about your job.

When you come home from work in a huff and swear, “I am going to quit!” your loved one can help to calm you down and talk reasonably about the situation.

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2. A partner can give an outside perspective.

Oftentimes, we can get so caught up in a situation that it can be hard to have perspective. Someone outside of the situation who is close to you might be able to assist in looking at the problem from a different angle and might even help you find a good solution.

3. We can be motivated to perform well.

We want to make our loved one proud. If that is not a motivating factor, another motivator may be that you are a provider for the family and you don’t want to let them down.

4. A romantic relationship can build our confidence.

Winning someone over, as well as maintaining a healthy relationship, can make us feel good about ourselves. We will radiate confidence wherever we go.

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5. A partner can pick up the slack from time to time.

Sometimes you are just crazy busy at work. It can be a lifesaver to have a partner to pick up the slack at home for that time, whether it be making dinner or doing the laundry for you.

6. Your partner can help you remember what is most important.

We all have goals in life, but sometimes it is not about achieving the goals, but living in the moment. When friends or family are in town but you think you should stay late at the office, your loved one can nudge you to take time for the people in your life.

7. Your loved one can help you brainstorm.

If you are like me, you have tons of ideas bouncing around in your head at any given moment. It can be helpful to talk these things out with someone either for the sake of hearing them out loud or to get trusted feedback. Some of those ideas are just plain silly and it’s good to have someone tell you so!

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8. Being involved in a romantic relationship helps you look your best.

This might take the form of hitting the gym more often or taking the time to fix your hair. Whichever details you pay special attention to in order to look good for your partner will pay off in the workplace as well. Those who look more pulled together are more likely to be offered more opportunities and/or promotions, not to mention the fact that we just feel good when we look our best.

9. A loved one is helpful in relieving stress.

Have you ever had a shoulder rub after a long day of work? Or were able to laugh at a funny movie with someone? These are only a couple of ways a partner can help relieve work-related stress. This can help you unwind and recharge for the next work day.

Also see: 9 Things You Can Do for Daily Stress Relief

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10. Happy home, happy life.

It is no secret that when things are good at home, this feeling tends to carry over to the rest of your life. You will be able to perform better at work if you are not bogged down with problems with your partner.

11. Personal cheerleader.

Your special someone should be your biggest cheerleader. Sure, they may not agree with everything you do, but they should be positive about your work. Your successes should be celebrated and it helps to have someone to cheer with you.

There are many ways a relationship can be helpful in making us successful in life and in the workplace. It is important for us to remember that we need to encourage our loved one so that he or she can be the very best. You really never know what great things this kind of support will lead to.

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Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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