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10 Things to Tell Yourself If You Will Spend Christmas Alone

10 Things to Tell Yourself If You Will Spend Christmas Alone

Oh man, the holiday season is upon us and so is yet another month filled with the constant reminder of who you do and do not have in your life at the moment. Something about this season makes people go nutty over the idea of being with others. It’s this obsession that drives many a single person into a state of sheer loneliness at least once or twice a day. But what if we changed all that? What if you could break the lonely trend and actually be happy to spend some one-on-one time with yourself this year? Let’s add to this the fact that you’ll come out a stronger person because of it. Sounds pretty fabulous, right?

Let’s start the process to being an amazing, fearless, single individual by taking care of that loneliness – one positive affirmation at a time. Check out the following list of the 10 best things you can tell yourself when you get lonely this Christmas:

1. Your Cat Loves You

This may seem like an attack on my fellow cat connoisseurs. Trust me, it’s not. In fact, this point extends even to those who choose the “alternative lifestyle” of living with a dog. Your pet legitimately loves you and wants your attention! Don’t have one? Now’s the time to get one. There’s nothing more soothing than snuggling up with your furry friend when times get tough. They love you, give them some love back. Next thing you know, you’re not so lonely anymore.

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2. Groceries are Cheaper for One

Sometimes, roommates make a pact to “split the cost of groceries” or “leave each other’s food alone”. I think we all know what really happens. You end up footing the bill for their gluttony. Here is where the beauty of living alone comes into play. Your food is actually yours. No more fighting over the last yogurt…the yogurt that you bought, by the way. You’re welcome, self.

3. Your PTO is Yours This Year

Ugh… It’s your day off and this person in your life insists that you parade around from house to house, meeting different relatives and family friends whom you’ve been so fortunately selected to impress. No thanks! This year, your paid time off is all yours. No awkward moments in attempting to dodge angst-filled glares from preteen cousins. Better yet, no fending off the marriage question everyone is asking at this, the tender age of 35. Nope, you can do anything you want with your time off. How about a trip to Vegas? Bocca? Hawaii? Doesn’t matter! You don’t have to answer to anyone this year. Congrats!

4. Romance Makes You Nauseous

Something about the holiday season makes everyone get all touchy feely. The last thing you need is your significant other of two weeks suggestively directing you toward the Zales window. Those cold, creepy, horse-drawn carriages? Nope. A burnt tongue from hot cocoa and blisters from that mediocre ice rink visit? Not this year! All that sappy, sap, sappiness can be left to those who don’t have a date with Mad Men and a few glasses of vino.

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5. Opting for a Night in with Netflix is Trendy These Days

Speaking of Mad Men, let’s give a big thank you to Netflix! Any show you want to watch, season after season, is right there when you need it. The best part? It’s actually cool to make your dates with Netflix now! Once you’ve completed the entire series, you can choose to move onto the next show, or go out on the town for some real-person interaction. It really doesn’t matter. The great thing here is that you aren’t forced either way…sensing a theme here, eh?

6. Christmas Cheer is an Option, Not a Requirement

Christmas is awesome. There’s no denying that. The only not-so-awesome thing about it is when others try to convince you that it’s necessary to constantly listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas movies, engage in Christmas activities, basically fake a festive spirit for the sake of “the best Christmas ever”. Sure, you’ll have your moments of pure Christmas bliss, but they’ll be on your watch, allowing you to actually enjoy the spirit of the season – not fake your way through it.

7. Yours is the Only Awkward Christmas Party

Possibly one of the best things about being “lonely” this holiday season is not having to head out to a bunch of awkward holiday Christmas parties throughout the month of September. You may have a few of your own, but you’ll more than likely know the people there, and better yet, you choose whether or not you go. Even if your loneliness is caused by living far from loved ones, you’ll enjoy having a good excuse not to play carpool with your siblings and partake in family cooking events. Much easier to keep up that daily routine you’re adjusting to with fewer obligations.

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8. There’s no Heat to be Caught

When that festive smile turns to a blank face after three hours of holiday festivities, you’re bound to catch some heat from your date. Even worse, if you provide an unfavorable answer to questions asked by friends and family regarding your thoughts on marriage, politics, etc. You’re skipping the nagging in favor of a good time at holiday parties this year. That sounds like a smart idea, if you ask me.

9. That One Starbucks Always Appreciates Your Business

Some Starbucks locations are friendlier than others. Chances are, you’ve identified the one with the nicest baristas (I sure have!). Go there. Something about their “Have a great day!” seems so much more believable than when your grocery store clerk says it. You might even be a regular. This is awesome. Not only do the baristas know your order, but you can catch a quick convo before returning to your Netflix-athon. #winning.

10. Life is What you Make it

Alright, time to get a little serious. Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be. If you constantly dwell on your single status, your life will become centered around finding “the one” and being miserable until that happens. Forget about that quest and take time to enjoy your single self. Life should be about you and the amazing impact you can make during your time on this planet, not your ability to settle into a relationship with someone you’re not absolutely head over heels for..

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Featured photo credit: Cute young woman playing with snow in fur coat outdoors via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

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2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

  • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
  • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
  • Answer a few Superpower Questions

Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

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This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

5. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo

Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

  • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
  • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
  • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward.

Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

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7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

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“You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

Final Thoughts

Eleanor Roosevelt said,

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

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Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

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