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10 Things to Tell Yourself If You Will Spend Christmas Alone

10 Things to Tell Yourself If You Will Spend Christmas Alone

Oh man, the holiday season is upon us and so is yet another month filled with the constant reminder of who you do and do not have in your life at the moment. Something about this season makes people go nutty over the idea of being with others. It’s this obsession that drives many a single person into a state of sheer loneliness at least once or twice a day. But what if we changed all that? What if you could break the lonely trend and actually be happy to spend some one-on-one time with yourself this year? Let’s add to this the fact that you’ll come out a stronger person because of it. Sounds pretty fabulous, right?

Let’s start the process to being an amazing, fearless, single individual by taking care of that loneliness – one positive affirmation at a time. Check out the following list of the 10 best things you can tell yourself when you get lonely this Christmas:

1. Your Cat Loves You

This may seem like an attack on my fellow cat connoisseurs. Trust me, it’s not. In fact, this point extends even to those who choose the “alternative lifestyle” of living with a dog. Your pet legitimately loves you and wants your attention! Don’t have one? Now’s the time to get one. There’s nothing more soothing than snuggling up with your furry friend when times get tough. They love you, give them some love back. Next thing you know, you’re not so lonely anymore.

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2. Groceries are Cheaper for One

Sometimes, roommates make a pact to “split the cost of groceries” or “leave each other’s food alone”. I think we all know what really happens. You end up footing the bill for their gluttony. Here is where the beauty of living alone comes into play. Your food is actually yours. No more fighting over the last yogurt…the yogurt that you bought, by the way. You’re welcome, self.

3. Your PTO is Yours This Year

Ugh… It’s your day off and this person in your life insists that you parade around from house to house, meeting different relatives and family friends whom you’ve been so fortunately selected to impress. No thanks! This year, your paid time off is all yours. No awkward moments in attempting to dodge angst-filled glares from preteen cousins. Better yet, no fending off the marriage question everyone is asking at this, the tender age of 35. Nope, you can do anything you want with your time off. How about a trip to Vegas? Bocca? Hawaii? Doesn’t matter! You don’t have to answer to anyone this year. Congrats!

4. Romance Makes You Nauseous

Something about the holiday season makes everyone get all touchy feely. The last thing you need is your significant other of two weeks suggestively directing you toward the Zales window. Those cold, creepy, horse-drawn carriages? Nope. A burnt tongue from hot cocoa and blisters from that mediocre ice rink visit? Not this year! All that sappy, sap, sappiness can be left to those who don’t have a date with Mad Men and a few glasses of vino.

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5. Opting for a Night in with Netflix is Trendy These Days

Speaking of Mad Men, let’s give a big thank you to Netflix! Any show you want to watch, season after season, is right there when you need it. The best part? It’s actually cool to make your dates with Netflix now! Once you’ve completed the entire series, you can choose to move onto the next show, or go out on the town for some real-person interaction. It really doesn’t matter. The great thing here is that you aren’t forced either way…sensing a theme here, eh?

6. Christmas Cheer is an Option, Not a Requirement

Christmas is awesome. There’s no denying that. The only not-so-awesome thing about it is when others try to convince you that it’s necessary to constantly listen to Christmas music, watch Christmas movies, engage in Christmas activities, basically fake a festive spirit for the sake of “the best Christmas ever”. Sure, you’ll have your moments of pure Christmas bliss, but they’ll be on your watch, allowing you to actually enjoy the spirit of the season – not fake your way through it.

7. Yours is the Only Awkward Christmas Party

Possibly one of the best things about being “lonely” this holiday season is not having to head out to a bunch of awkward holiday Christmas parties throughout the month of September. You may have a few of your own, but you’ll more than likely know the people there, and better yet, you choose whether or not you go. Even if your loneliness is caused by living far from loved ones, you’ll enjoy having a good excuse not to play carpool with your siblings and partake in family cooking events. Much easier to keep up that daily routine you’re adjusting to with fewer obligations.

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8. There’s no Heat to be Caught

When that festive smile turns to a blank face after three hours of holiday festivities, you’re bound to catch some heat from your date. Even worse, if you provide an unfavorable answer to questions asked by friends and family regarding your thoughts on marriage, politics, etc. You’re skipping the nagging in favor of a good time at holiday parties this year. That sounds like a smart idea, if you ask me.

9. That One Starbucks Always Appreciates Your Business

Some Starbucks locations are friendlier than others. Chances are, you’ve identified the one with the nicest baristas (I sure have!). Go there. Something about their “Have a great day!” seems so much more believable than when your grocery store clerk says it. You might even be a regular. This is awesome. Not only do the baristas know your order, but you can catch a quick convo before returning to your Netflix-athon. #winning.

10. Life is What you Make it

Alright, time to get a little serious. Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be. If you constantly dwell on your single status, your life will become centered around finding “the one” and being miserable until that happens. Forget about that quest and take time to enjoy your single self. Life should be about you and the amazing impact you can make during your time on this planet, not your ability to settle into a relationship with someone you’re not absolutely head over heels for..

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Featured photo credit: Cute young woman playing with snow in fur coat outdoors via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

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Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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