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10 Things Only People Who Have A Clever Girlfriend Would Understand

10 Things Only People Who Have A Clever Girlfriend Would Understand

Having a self-assured woman by your side has a lot of benefits and makes you motivated to be the best version of yourself everyday. Here are a few other reasons why you are glad to be with a woman who is not afraid to be herself.

1. You know that you will never be bored

Having a clever girlfriend by your side means that life will never be dull when you are together. She always knows about the best movies to watch or a music venue where you are bound to have a blast. She is highly creative and know how to help keep your relationship from slipping into a predictable routine.

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2. You know that you will always have someone to push yourself to be your best

Sometimes you need someone from the outside to encourage you to keep going when you feel like giving up. This is your girl. Her confidence in herself carries over to you and inspires you everyday to stay motivated and keep your head up during hard times. That one time that you lost your job? She was by your side, cheering you on and helping you polish your resume.

3. You know that life together will be full of thoughtful surprises

It’s notoriously hard to shop for your significant other, especially if they seem to have everything they already want. Luckily, your girl knows how to be creative with her gift-giving and always has something epic up her sleeve. Your last birthday? A road trip down to a nearby city to see your favorite band was one of the most thoughtful things that anyone has ever done for you.

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4. You know that you will have different opinions on things and that’s OK

She has strong opinions on a wide spectrum of topics and this is why you love her. You also know that sometimes your ideas are bound to clash, but what’s important is that you both have a mutual level of respect for each others’ viewpoints. She also knows when to stop and agree to disagree about a certain subject, whether it is about politics or a TV show.

5. You love how she pursues her own passions

She knows what her interests are and makes sure to dedicate her time to them, whether they are writing a blog or learning martial arts. You know that it’s important for your relationship to have time away from each other and you have been inspired by her to pursue your own passions, like learning a new language or picking up a few songs on the guitar.

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6. You are not afraid to tell her your dreams

She is supportive of your dreams big and small and you always feel comfortable telling your life’s aspirations to her, even if you never told anyone else before. She knows the importance of confiding your dreams to someone else who you trust, because she does the same with you, telling you about her dreams to be in a band or do research in Antarctica.

7. You love how she demands respect of herself

She is self-assured and expects everyone to respect her and treat her equally as a woman. She stands up for herself, whether she is in the workplace or out with her friends. She expects no less from you and you are always willing to support her with no exceptions.

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8. You know that when you fight with her it will always be a fair fight

She knows how to stand-up for what she believes in, but she also know what not to say during your arguments that bring up sore points. There are some things in a relationship that are meant to stay in the past and you love her because she is able to get up and move past these issues and focus on the present disagreement.

9. You had to prove that you were worthy of her time

When you first started dating she made sure to take things slow and really get to know each other before being in a committed relationship. You love this about her and are willing to do anything to prove that you were meant to be, from leaving little love notes to spending time getting to know her friends. She is completely worth it.

10. You feel comfortable admitting your fears and getting real feedback on them

She is good at giving an honest opinion on things that scare you in a supportive, but constructive manner. She pushes you to face your fears, but also lets you know that she is right by your side supporting you all the way. In turn, she tells you her own fears and shows that she is not afraid to be vulnerable with you.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on February 25, 2020

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

“Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose.” – from the popular show, “Westworld”

It’s different for us all. My personal quest for purpose began with five stages of grief and one startling realization that everything’s endlessly fragile. Adversity, as it happens by rule, found me terribly unprepared, so I decided to take my time. Today, I can honestly say that I’ve grown.

Ugliness and beauty, good and evil, pain and laughter – everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but complementary. In the face of difficulty, that is the only mantra you need.

Here’s how I learned it and why you should too, with five simple rules.

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1. Embrace the Complexity

Quite insidiously, adversities come in all shapes and sizes. Paralyzing physical disabilities, mind-wracking mental problems, ruthless emotional havocs, all leading to the same painful acknowledgement: all the beauty in the world cannot possibly make up for the ugliness that surrounds us. Shattered to pieces, helpless and bare naked, we sit in our therapy chairs, apologizing for being so negative.

Eventually, what it all comes down to is the nature of negative emotion. Our positives overshadow our negatives, thus wrongly teaching us that the road to well-being is paved with nothing but positive feelings and thoughts. How utterly wrong!

“If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything innovative”, Woody Allen said.

It’s a classic “learn from your mistakes” rule, but in this case, it implies growing from negative experiences. Make peace with your negativities and embrace beauty and ugliness alike! Accepting this marvellously complex world just as it is will allow you to find purpose in adversity and meaning in misery.

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2. Find Balance, Regain Control

Still, accepting adversity is only the first step toward eventual victory. One can endure only so much trauma in life; if we’re not prepared to deal with difficulties in a productive way, even the minor setbacks can get us off track. Our strengths come from learning, and the best way to learn is through a series of trials and errors. Just like phases of grief or stages of drug addiction, adversities suggest a disabling loss of control, so find your way to regain it.

Some call it the coping mechanism; for others, it’s a spiritual will. However you choose to name yours, know that not all supporting systems are equally beneficial, though each is effective in its own way. Escapism was mine, but it only helped me retain the illusion of beauty. It wasn’t until I opened up toward the ugliness and accepted the naked truth that I was finally free. Whether you choose to dwell in art, religion and spiritualism, thus feeding your resilience from within or to reach out to others for help, choose wisely.

Whatever the means, the second rule is a golden one: find your inner balance and stick to it. Eventually, it will lead you out of the vicious circle.

3. Fight with Patience

My bargaining turned in depression with a single touch. Fearless and free, my dance instructor timidly put her hands on my shoulders and I realized, for the first time, just how tense, stiff and cloistered I was. And just like that, I started letting go. Adversities have their sneaky ways, but in my experience, becoming aware is what hurts the worst. It took me a year to recover from this little moment of self-discovery, and I know remember it as the edge of the rabbit hole.

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Some sufferings are impossible to console; I know that now. The only way to get through is to, well, get through. Depression and despair are only the beginning of the excruciatingly unnerving process that ravages the mind and shrivels the soul, and once they strike, there is no easy way back. So, fight them with patience. When your head starts spinning and your feet lose ground, go to your happy place. Over there, you’ll be reminded that nothing is forever, not even our little existential psychosis.

Take a deep breath and say “om”. When things cannot be combated, they have to be endured, so practice patience and learn to let go. Finally, keep repeating to yourself that this too shall pass.

4. Keep Swimming

Nothing is impossible, in the end. Your negative thoughts will gently pour into your positive ones, just as two streams come together to become a river. In the event of the inevitable disaster, one can only be as calm as still water. Suffering teaches patience, and the latter gives rise to flexibility. Ultimately, what is life than a series of unfortunate events and a handful of bright moments in between? If adversities are impossible to avoid, than learn to glide through as smoothly and patiently as water does with rocks.

Even if spirituality isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you have to admit that this is one solid metaphor. Staying adaptable in the face of change will soothe your panic attacks and keep you sane and sober-blooded. Even if you fail, you’ll know exactly how to breathe and face what’s in front of you once it eventually strikes again. Stay calm and visualize a better tomorrow; if anything else, it will give you strength to dive deep and weather the storm. And, in case there’s somebody’s hand to reach out to, grab it firmly and don’t let go.

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Being flexible against adversities takes a lot of learning, just as staying brave demands a lot of courage. It’s a long, arduous step-by-step routine, and you can reach the end only by swimming on. Persist, even when you fall.

5. Never Stop Searching for Inspiration

And, if it’s a guidance you need, where else to seek it than in experiences of others? Find it in art, in people around you, in chance encounters. The pure beauty of perseverance can be discovered where you expect it the least, so never stop searching for inspiration. If self-help literature soothes your pains and clears your mind, don’t let cynics discourage you. Your path toward reconciliation is nobody’s but yours to choose.

Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Or Nando Parado? Inspiring people sound their yawps over the roofs of the world, sometimes voiceless, sometimes limbless, sometimes both. Born without arms, Jessica Cox became the most unusual certified pilot in the world, and you can rarely see her without a smile on her face. If you’ve already ripped all of your bucket lists and said goodbye to your dreams and plans, meet Sean Swarner, who’s officially became the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest. The stories just go on.

Make your own guidebook! Pen down your positive thoughts, cover your walls with quotes and devise your personal mantras. Whenever things get hard, they’ll be there to remind you of what you need to do. It’s the simplest of all life hacks, and one of the most effective ones.

Find beauty in the world, but never stay blind for its ugliness. However daunting, adversities and emotional pain challenge our inner strength, thus making us resilient and allowing us to grow. As soon as you recognize them as the wind in your sails instead of the devastating storm, the purpose will become simple and clear.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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