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10 Things Only People Who Have A Clever Girlfriend Would Understand

10 Things Only People Who Have A Clever Girlfriend Would Understand

Having a self-assured woman by your side has a lot of benefits and makes you motivated to be the best version of yourself everyday. Here are a few other reasons why you are glad to be with a woman who is not afraid to be herself.

1. You know that you will never be bored

Having a clever girlfriend by your side means that life will never be dull when you are together. She always knows about the best movies to watch or a music venue where you are bound to have a blast. She is highly creative and know how to help keep your relationship from slipping into a predictable routine.

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2. You know that you will always have someone to push yourself to be your best

Sometimes you need someone from the outside to encourage you to keep going when you feel like giving up. This is your girl. Her confidence in herself carries over to you and inspires you everyday to stay motivated and keep your head up during hard times. That one time that you lost your job? She was by your side, cheering you on and helping you polish your resume.

3. You know that life together will be full of thoughtful surprises

It’s notoriously hard to shop for your significant other, especially if they seem to have everything they already want. Luckily, your girl knows how to be creative with her gift-giving and always has something epic up her sleeve. Your last birthday? A road trip down to a nearby city to see your favorite band was one of the most thoughtful things that anyone has ever done for you.

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4. You know that you will have different opinions on things and that’s OK

She has strong opinions on a wide spectrum of topics and this is why you love her. You also know that sometimes your ideas are bound to clash, but what’s important is that you both have a mutual level of respect for each others’ viewpoints. She also knows when to stop and agree to disagree about a certain subject, whether it is about politics or a TV show.

5. You love how she pursues her own passions

She knows what her interests are and makes sure to dedicate her time to them, whether they are writing a blog or learning martial arts. You know that it’s important for your relationship to have time away from each other and you have been inspired by her to pursue your own passions, like learning a new language or picking up a few songs on the guitar.

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6. You are not afraid to tell her your dreams

She is supportive of your dreams big and small and you always feel comfortable telling your life’s aspirations to her, even if you never told anyone else before. She knows the importance of confiding your dreams to someone else who you trust, because she does the same with you, telling you about her dreams to be in a band or do research in Antarctica.

7. You love how she demands respect of herself

She is self-assured and expects everyone to respect her and treat her equally as a woman. She stands up for herself, whether she is in the workplace or out with her friends. She expects no less from you and you are always willing to support her with no exceptions.

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8. You know that when you fight with her it will always be a fair fight

She knows how to stand-up for what she believes in, but she also know what not to say during your arguments that bring up sore points. There are some things in a relationship that are meant to stay in the past and you love her because she is able to get up and move past these issues and focus on the present disagreement.

9. You had to prove that you were worthy of her time

When you first started dating she made sure to take things slow and really get to know each other before being in a committed relationship. You love this about her and are willing to do anything to prove that you were meant to be, from leaving little love notes to spending time getting to know her friends. She is completely worth it.

10. You feel comfortable admitting your fears and getting real feedback on them

She is good at giving an honest opinion on things that scare you in a supportive, but constructive manner. She pushes you to face your fears, but also lets you know that she is right by your side supporting you all the way. In turn, she tells you her own fears and shows that she is not afraid to be vulnerable with you.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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