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10 Things Insecure People Do That Slowly Destroy Their Lives

10 Things Insecure People Do That Slowly Destroy Their Lives

Insecure people have a different approach to life than other people. Unfortunately, this often hinders their growth and makes their daily lives harder to deal with. Here are ten things insecure people do that slowly destroy their live—make sure you don’t have any of these qualities in your life!

1. They live in fear of judgement.

Insecure people always worry about what other people are thinking. And they don’t think they’re coming out on top. Insecure people feel like they are always being judged, and not for who they truly are. This is often because they see themselves as inferior, and can’t understand how other people would see them as anything else.

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2. They avoid meeting new people.

Those who are insecure don’t like meeting new people, for a variety of reasons. They might be scared of the aforementioned judgement. They might not trust themselves to be confident in social situations, or might not think they’re interesting enough to hold a conversation.

3. They don’t believe they’re good enough.

Insecure people never think they’re good enough—for anything, for meeting new people, for deserving friends, for the next promotion at work. They could be the nicest, funniest, most driven person, but they’ll never see themselves that way. They don’t think anyone can see them as a good person because they don’t feel like they are.

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4. They’re not true to themselves.

Insecure people are the ones who most often become those around them. They’re like chameleons in social situations, adapting to their surroundings to try and fit in better. They don’t feel comfortable being themselves, so they try to become anyone else.

5. They live in a world with denial.

Insecure people are able to deny anything and everything. They don’t take facts as facts; they’re able to write them off as nothing. Even if all the signs are pointing towards a positive situation, an insecure person will deny it all just to stay on their doomed track.

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6. They’re doomed to fail.

Because insecure people have no faith in themselves, they’re doomed to fail. They never pump themselves up for a promotion at work, and they can’t build up enough confidence to hit on that cute stranger at the bar. Instead of just swallowing their nerves and going for any dream, they think of the worst and insist that they’re doomed to fail. They’re so sure of this outcome that they won’t even try.

7. They don’t trust others.

Insecure people don’t trust themselves, but they don’t trust others, either. They are often paranoid, thinking that everyone else is judging them, or out to get them. They don’t think they can have friends because they don’t think they’re valuable people. They can’t have a relationship because they think their partner is cheating on them and lying to them.

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8. They look for the worst.

Insecure people can’t find the positive side of any situation because they’re always looking for the worst. Even on a good day, they’re unable to let go of negative emotions. This often means they’ll ruin a situation just to prove themselves right, to prove that the world really is giving them the worst of every situation.

9. They’re not rooted in reality.

Insecure people aren’t rooted in reality. They often live in their imaginations, which is why they’re paranoid and don’t trust others. They lack the logic that proves they are decent people, instead choosing to live in a world where they are often the victims, never trusted, not worth love or friendship, never going to move up the corporate ladder. In reality, this person is talented and caring, but because they can’t distance themselves from their insecurities, they’re not able to function in the real world.

10. They miss out on the best of life.

Insecure people spend too much time in their own heads. They put themselves down, thinking the worst of themselves and others. By living in all this negativity, they’re missing out on the best of life. They’re not able to see the good in the people around them, or the beauty in their daily lives.

Featured photo credit: Freddie Pena via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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