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10 Simple Things You Can Do To Make Giving Feel Good

10 Simple Things You Can Do To Make Giving Feel Good

Giving always seems a very simple thing to do; however, it’s not as easy as it sounds, especially when you feel that you are giving something that you might lack, such as love or money. When you possess a lack mentality, it almost seems impossible to give. You ask yourself, “What’s in it for me?” and feel resentful rather than open hearted and good about it.

Life is about giving, and giving one of the many things that should be done unconditionally and with no expectation of return. If you give away what you feel you lack, but give it anyway from an open heart, then you’ll receive more stuff to feel good about, which results in more giving.

Life is meant to feel good, so I’ve come up with 10 points to help make giving feel good again!

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1. Make giving a choice rather than a chore

When giving feels false or forced it can make you feel used, taken for granted, or worse—resentful. All of these feelings do little for the soul and are hardly ways to make giving feel good. Like many things in life—getting up on a Monday morning, for example—when you’ve got to do something rather than it being a conscious choice, it can make it that little bit harder.

So when you’re giving, make it a choice rather than something you feel you have to do. If it’s up to you and you’ve decided when, how and who you are going to give to, it’s going to make you feel more excited about it and you’ll want to do it again and again!

2. Give a little but give often

Giving is a wonderful feeling, especially when you can give little amounts often. It is far better to give what you can than stretch yourself and give a lot in one go. To make giving feel good, it’s wise to start small then build it up as you go along. It’s great to see what you give as you give it, seeing the progress made step by step.

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3. Giving encourages others to give too

Have you ever given someone a hug only to have them hug you back, or paid for a cup of coffee only for a cup of coffee to be paid for and gifted to you? When you give it’s a bit like yawning, it becomes contagious. The only difference is that the person you give to may not always be the one to give back. However, the receiving will be returned, either by someone else or through another gift. Giving opens people’s eyes to the magical feeling it can bring, a satisfaction like no other and that can be repeated time and time again.

4. Giving can make a massive impact on the world

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of giving when you see the impact one gift can make. It can impact on just one person, an entire community or even the planet. To make giving feel good and to see the difference you can make is one of the best feelings ever. Seeing a poor person smile, a child learning to read or a dog being given a new home can change a bad day to a very good day indeed.

5. Giving can make you appreciate all that you have

When you give, it’s normally to help another who is lacking in some way. It can be because there is a lack of money, lack of love, lack of shelter or perhaps a lack of food. Whichever circumstance it might be, when you see how others suffer it can make you look at your life in a whole new light. When you see others in need, giving to them what you already have can make giving feel good because you appreciate what you have a whole lot more.

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6. Giving more of something you wish to receive

It’s amazing how giving love, money, kindness or other such luxuries can make you feel good, especially when you feel somewhat lacking in those things. When you give with an open heart and no expectation the very things you would love to receive, you will receive them back and more so. If you want to receive more money, then give your own money away—be generous and make it a pleasure to give.

7. Giving help to connect with others

When you give it creates a special kind of bond between you and the person or thing you are giving to. It can create an unspoken connection of gratitude, love and compassion, especially if the receiver of your gift finds it hard to express how they feel. Connection is what gives many a purpose in life, that amazing feeling of being understood by another and knowing that you are not alone. Give to connect and you will always feel good!

8. Give anonymously and reap the rewards of doing so

The gift of giving is very special, even more so when you expect nothing from it, not even a thank-you. When you give anonymously there is no expectation at all, other than that you’ll feel good about yourself and about life. This is the ultimate gift of giving because there is no ulterior motive or conditional expectation; you are giving because you can and you want to.

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9. Giving makes life beautiful

Life is beautiful; especially when you put others’ wants and needs before your own. You’ll understand that there are greater things than just what makes you happy, and being mindful of that will make giving feel good. You’ll see life through other people’s eyes and see how making their lives better through giving makes life beautiful.

10. Giving gives you a purpose in life

Ever feel like there’s something missing in your life, or do you ever wonder why you were put on this planet? When you make a habit of giving back, it will instill a sense of purpose in your life and make you wonder why you never started it years ago! It’s only as you grow that you realize what matters in life, that there are other things to consider and to do whilst you live this one and only life. A purpose will make you leap out of bed in the mornings, eager to get on with the day and give it your all. So give like you’ve never given before!

Featured photo credit: Give me love/ Lara Von Lion via flickr.com

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Paula Lawes

Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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