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10 Simple Things You Can Do To Make Giving Feel Good

10 Simple Things You Can Do To Make Giving Feel Good

Giving always seems a very simple thing to do; however, it’s not as easy as it sounds, especially when you feel that you are giving something that you might lack, such as love or money. When you possess a lack mentality, it almost seems impossible to give. You ask yourself, “What’s in it for me?” and feel resentful rather than open hearted and good about it.

Life is about giving, and giving one of the many things that should be done unconditionally and with no expectation of return. If you give away what you feel you lack, but give it anyway from an open heart, then you’ll receive more stuff to feel good about, which results in more giving.

Life is meant to feel good, so I’ve come up with 10 points to help make giving feel good again!

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1. Make giving a choice rather than a chore

When giving feels false or forced it can make you feel used, taken for granted, or worse—resentful. All of these feelings do little for the soul and are hardly ways to make giving feel good. Like many things in life—getting up on a Monday morning, for example—when you’ve got to do something rather than it being a conscious choice, it can make it that little bit harder.

So when you’re giving, make it a choice rather than something you feel you have to do. If it’s up to you and you’ve decided when, how and who you are going to give to, it’s going to make you feel more excited about it and you’ll want to do it again and again!

2. Give a little but give often

Giving is a wonderful feeling, especially when you can give little amounts often. It is far better to give what you can than stretch yourself and give a lot in one go. To make giving feel good, it’s wise to start small then build it up as you go along. It’s great to see what you give as you give it, seeing the progress made step by step.

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3. Giving encourages others to give too

Have you ever given someone a hug only to have them hug you back, or paid for a cup of coffee only for a cup of coffee to be paid for and gifted to you? When you give it’s a bit like yawning, it becomes contagious. The only difference is that the person you give to may not always be the one to give back. However, the receiving will be returned, either by someone else or through another gift. Giving opens people’s eyes to the magical feeling it can bring, a satisfaction like no other and that can be repeated time and time again.

4. Giving can make a massive impact on the world

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of giving when you see the impact one gift can make. It can impact on just one person, an entire community or even the planet. To make giving feel good and to see the difference you can make is one of the best feelings ever. Seeing a poor person smile, a child learning to read or a dog being given a new home can change a bad day to a very good day indeed.

5. Giving can make you appreciate all that you have

When you give, it’s normally to help another who is lacking in some way. It can be because there is a lack of money, lack of love, lack of shelter or perhaps a lack of food. Whichever circumstance it might be, when you see how others suffer it can make you look at your life in a whole new light. When you see others in need, giving to them what you already have can make giving feel good because you appreciate what you have a whole lot more.

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6. Giving more of something you wish to receive

It’s amazing how giving love, money, kindness or other such luxuries can make you feel good, especially when you feel somewhat lacking in those things. When you give with an open heart and no expectation the very things you would love to receive, you will receive them back and more so. If you want to receive more money, then give your own money away—be generous and make it a pleasure to give.

7. Giving help to connect with others

When you give it creates a special kind of bond between you and the person or thing you are giving to. It can create an unspoken connection of gratitude, love and compassion, especially if the receiver of your gift finds it hard to express how they feel. Connection is what gives many a purpose in life, that amazing feeling of being understood by another and knowing that you are not alone. Give to connect and you will always feel good!

8. Give anonymously and reap the rewards of doing so

The gift of giving is very special, even more so when you expect nothing from it, not even a thank-you. When you give anonymously there is no expectation at all, other than that you’ll feel good about yourself and about life. This is the ultimate gift of giving because there is no ulterior motive or conditional expectation; you are giving because you can and you want to.

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9. Giving makes life beautiful

Life is beautiful; especially when you put others’ wants and needs before your own. You’ll understand that there are greater things than just what makes you happy, and being mindful of that will make giving feel good. You’ll see life through other people’s eyes and see how making their lives better through giving makes life beautiful.

10. Giving gives you a purpose in life

Ever feel like there’s something missing in your life, or do you ever wonder why you were put on this planet? When you make a habit of giving back, it will instill a sense of purpose in your life and make you wonder why you never started it years ago! It’s only as you grow that you realize what matters in life, that there are other things to consider and to do whilst you live this one and only life. A purpose will make you leap out of bed in the mornings, eager to get on with the day and give it your all. So give like you’ve never given before!

Featured photo credit: Give me love/ Lara Von Lion via flickr.com

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Paula Lawes

Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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