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10 Reasons Why You Should Have A Drummer Girlfriend

10 Reasons Why You Should Have A Drummer Girlfriend

1. She knows how to lead

There is a common misconception that drummers provide the back-up beat for a band, when in reality it is the other way around. Drummers set the beat for a song and are crucial for keeping the whole band in sync during the duration of the musical number. If you date a girl who is a drummer, she is most likely not afraid to speak her mind in a relationship. This honesty will only help you grow as a couple and allow you to become closer and more in sync.

2. She has a high IQ

Professor Ullen of the Karolinska Institute researched whether there was a connection between a drummer’s acute performance skills and intelligence, saying that “[t]he rhythmic accuracy in brain activity that is observed when a person maintains a steady beat is also important to the problem-solving capacities measured with the intelligence tests”. It turns out her hypothesis was true and that drummers share a significantly higher intelligence. A smart lady who knows how to rock out and is book-smart allows you to have a partner that is complex and worth sticking around for.

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3. She knows how to deal with hardship with a positive outlook

A recent study by Robin Dunbar, a psychologist at the University of Oxford, proved that drummers produce a significantly higher level of endorphins during a performance than their fellow musicians. This experiment also measured their pain tolerance. The results showed that not only were drummers good at enduring pain, drumming also improved their overall mood. Having a drummer girlfriend means that not only will she know how to deal with adversity, she knows how important it is to have a positive attitude when the going gets rough.

4. She knows how to go the distance

BBC News reported that Dr. Marcus Smith from Chichester University did a test that compared a drummer’s endurance on tour to that of a football player during a game. He concluded that “[drummers’] fitness levels need to be outstanding—through monitoring Clem’s [test subject] performance in controlled conditions, we have been able to map the extraordinary stamina required by professional drummers.” Having a girlfriend who can go the distance in multiple situations is important to keep by your side.

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5. She has impeccable finger control

It is known to be a fact that drummers are able to keep very complex beats with strict hand-eye coordination. This will come in handy for both in the bedroom. Having an active love life will allow your relationship to flourish and it will be hard for you to fall into a rut, both inside and outside the bedroom.

6. She is fine with not being the center of attention

What do Karen Carpenter, Sheila Escovedo and Georgia Hubley all have in common? They were famous female drummers who played with the likes of Marvin Gaye and Ringo Star. They were the ones that kept a steady beat, while their more famous band members shown in the spotlight. Dating a lady who drums will allow you to be with a selfless partner that understands the importance of compromise in a relationship, and doesn’t always think about her needs first.

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7. She has a high level of intuition

For a drummer to be successful, it is important for them not only to have a high level of skill, but an intuitive mindset as well. If they sense something is going wrong with a set, it is their responsibly to set the band on the right path again. Dating a woman that has strong intuition on the stage will carry into her personal life as well – where your relationship will benefit from her insights and observations.

8. She knows how to stand up for herself

As a female drummer, she has dealt with her fair share of sexism in the music industry. Being the minority, she has had to prove herself over and over again and from this she has developed a thick skin and self-confidence that is hard to break. Dating a woman who has these qualities is like winning the lottery for you, because it will inspire you to have more confidence and encourage you to defend yourself when you need to.

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9. She has good (stage) presence

Being a drummer in a band, she has learned to adapt in numerous situations and keep it together when all eyes are on her. This is important in a relationship because she can adapt easily to life situations that come towards her, even when she feels pressure from friends, co-worker or family. It is important to have a partner that can take life’s hardballs with grace, because in turn your relationship will be able to weather any storm.

10. She has impeccable music taste

Being a drummer she knows how to keep a beat and also knows how to recognize a good beat when she hears one. Her iPod is filled with songs that are known for their beats and new bands that you have never heard about, but instantly become a fan of. Whether you are listening to these tunes alone or with her, they always remind you of how lucky you are to have a drummer as a girlfriend.

Featured photo credit: Young woman playing drums outdoors (Focus on the drum) via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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