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Last Updated on March 19, 2018

10 Reasons Why You Should Have A Drummer Girlfriend

10 Reasons Why You Should Have A Drummer Girlfriend

1. She knows how to lead

There is a common misconception that drummers provide the back-up beat for a band, when in reality it is the other way around. Drummers set the beat for a song and are crucial for keeping the whole band in sync during the duration of the musical number. If you date a girl who is a drummer, she is most likely not afraid to speak her mind in a relationship. This honesty will only help you grow as a couple and allow you to become closer and more in sync.

2. She has a high IQ

Professor Ullen of the Karolinska Institute researched whether there was a connection between a drummer’s acute performance skills and intelligence, saying that “[t]he rhythmic accuracy in brain activity that is observed when a person maintains a steady beat is also important to the problem-solving capacities measured with the intelligence tests”. It turns out her hypothesis was true and that drummers share a significantly higher intelligence. A smart lady who knows how to rock out and is book-smart allows you to have a partner that is complex and worth sticking around for.

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3. She knows how to deal with hardship with a positive outlook

A recent study by Robin Dunbar, a psychologist at the University of Oxford, proved that drummers produce a significantly higher level of endorphins during a performance than their fellow musicians. This experiment also measured their pain tolerance. The results showed that not only were drummers good at enduring pain, drumming also improved their overall mood. Having a drummer girlfriend means that not only will she know how to deal with adversity, she knows how important it is to have a positive attitude when the going gets rough.

4. She knows how to go the distance

BBC News reported that Dr. Marcus Smith from Chichester University did a test that compared a drummer’s endurance on tour to that of a football player during a game. He concluded that “[drummers’] fitness levels need to be outstanding—through monitoring Clem’s [test subject] performance in controlled conditions, we have been able to map the extraordinary stamina required by professional drummers.” Having a girlfriend who can go the distance in multiple situations is important to keep by your side.

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5. She has impeccable finger control

It is known to be a fact that drummers are able to keep very complex beats with strict hand-eye coordination. This will come in handy for both in the bedroom. Having an active love life will allow your relationship to flourish and it will be hard for you to fall into a rut, both inside and outside the bedroom.

6. She is fine with not being the center of attention

What do Karen Carpenter, Sheila Escovedo and Georgia Hubley all have in common? They were famous female drummers who played with the likes of Marvin Gaye and Ringo Star. They were the ones that kept a steady beat, while their more famous band members shown in the spotlight. Dating a lady who drums will allow you to be with a selfless partner that understands the importance of compromise in a relationship, and doesn’t always think about her needs first.

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7. She has a high level of intuition

For a drummer to be successful, it is important for them not only to have a high level of skill, but an intuitive mindset as well. If they sense something is going wrong with a set, it is their responsibly to set the band on the right path again. Dating a woman that has strong intuition on the stage will carry into her personal life as well – where your relationship will benefit from her insights and observations.

8. She knows how to stand up for herself

As a female drummer, she has dealt with her fair share of sexism in the music industry. Being the minority, she has had to prove herself over and over again and from this she has developed a thick skin and self-confidence that is hard to break. Dating a woman who has these qualities is like winning the lottery for you, because it will inspire you to have more confidence and encourage you to defend yourself when you need to.

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9. She has good (stage) presence

Being a drummer in a band, she has learned to adapt in numerous situations and keep it together when all eyes are on her. This is important in a relationship because she can adapt easily to life situations that come towards her, even when she feels pressure from friends, co-worker or family. It is important to have a partner that can take life’s hardballs with grace, because in turn your relationship will be able to weather any storm.

10. She has impeccable music taste

Being a drummer she knows how to keep a beat and also knows how to recognize a good beat when she hears one. Her iPod is filled with songs that are known for their beats and new bands that you have never heard about, but instantly become a fan of. Whether you are listening to these tunes alone or with her, they always remind you of how lucky you are to have a drummer as a girlfriend.

Featured photo credit: Young woman playing drums outdoors (Focus on the drum) via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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