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10 Reasons Why Life Has No Rules

10 Reasons Why Life Has No Rules

Life has no rules. There’s a controversial life hack for you.

Today we are blitzed with shouty online tips and advice, prescriptive ways to be better, live better and achieve more. Many of these are possessed of a frightening confidence that This-Way-Is-The-Only-Way-And-There-Is-No-Other.

It’s time to calm down and call ‘baloney’ on some of that.

For the most part, life has no definite rules. There are multiple roads to wealth, health, success and failure. You can afford to take a wrong turn here or there. Here are a 10 reasons why.

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1. All Lives Are Unique

We are all different characters partly because we all have different experiences of life. Those experiences form who we are and influence the decisions we make. Experience shapes whether we are an optimist or a pessimist, whether we are likely to pick a more adventurous and ambitious route, or stick to a steadier path.

2. Dumb Luck Is A Big Factor

“Pah! You make your own luck in this world!” This is what some people say. But dumb luck plays a part in pretty much everything about our lives: where we are born, and to whom, the people we meet or don’t meet, our health and safety. Try telling the families of plane crash victims that ‘you make your own luck in this world,’ tell parents of children who die young with obscure diseases, tell people who have all their family, friends and worldly possessions wiped out by natural disaster.

Luck, good or bad, can come at you out of nowhere. It can help to propel you towards an incredible victory, or it can crush you in a second.

Many humans need to feel they are in control of everything, and the idea that they’re not is terrifying. The truth is that we are all tiny insects, playing around on this planet at the mercy of dumb luck. Reconciling heavy things that don’t make sense (sudden untimely death) and trying to find reason where there plainly is none (unfairness and corruption): these are amongst hardest things to face. But face it we must, and accepting dumb luck is a part of that.

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3. Success Convinces People Into Thinking They Know Everything

Success feeds the esteem and bolsters the ego like nothing else. People tell you you’re awesome, your business is flourishing, your bank managers visibly glow when they see you, your family and loved ones worship you, basking in the comfort you provided. How can that not have a pretty major impact on your outlook? You’re a rock star! All this life stuff is easy! You should share your brilliance with the world! This is when life prescriptions and self-help evangelism might begin to flow, based on one narrow life experience.

4. Success Makes People Compelling

Our heads are turned by flowery pearls of wisdom and inspirational quotes when they’re credited to a widely celebrated businessperson. If the exact same words were uttered to you through stale breath and spittle by your local miserly shopkeeper, you’d probably regard them differently.

5. You Are Free To Think Independently

You can always choose whether or not to respect someone’s opinion. Have the confidence to think independently and know your own mind, even if it’s directly opposed to a book, a bunch of people, the general consensus, or that guy the whole world seems to love.

6. We Are All Making It Up As We Go Along

Everyone is winging it. The chances are, your local miserly shopkeeper followed a business hunch, improvised and made stuff up as he went along, much the same as the celebrated business person you admire. Some people naturally improvise better and more convincingly than others.

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There are many exponents of specific business formulae, certain best practices and personal self-help guidebooks. But placed in the moment with a decision in front of us, most of us will click on the autopilot and try to wing it.

7. Noble Failures Are Ignored, Until They Become Successes

It’s acknowledged by some of the most successful entrepreneurs that there are a great many lessons to be learned from failure. But it’s usually only after achieving success that you earn an audience, credibility and respect. Not after failure.

While you might have failed at something, or maybe it didn’t turn out how you hoped, you learned from the experience. Sure, you could be feeling a little low, your ego and esteem has taken a blow, your credibility isn’t hitting the peaks. But now is your chance to apply what you learned into something meaningful.

8. There’s Always More Than One Path

The endlessly fluid, linear, one-thing-after-another nature of life means that you never really know where decisions will lead until you take them. And you always have more than one option. Some paths look scarier than others, obstructed and challenging; some look easier and more inviting.

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People promote paths that they know worked for them. They might work for you too, but they might not. There’s often no right or wrong. Listen to your gut, trust your instinct, believe in yourself, be ok with the chance of getting it wrong.

9. We All Have To Gamble

We all have to put ourselves out there at one time or another, and take a leap of faith. Whether it’s to do with matters of the heart and allowing ourselves to get hurt emotionally, or whether it’s taking a big business gamble, we have to make decisions without knowing the outcome. Of course we hope that it will all pay off beautifully, but we don’t and can’t ever truly know. Indeed, some magic of life would be removed if we did.

10. We Will Be Wrong Sometimes, And That’s Ok

There’s a roughly equal amount of failure and success. In truth, there’s probably more failure, but it’s less well promoted in the media. Relationships fail, businesses break down, other bad stuff happens. And this may be in part, or in whole, down to us. We’re humans and we get it wrong sometimes. Getting it wrong is a thing that will happen, however much we defend against it, and we should be ok with that.

You can listen, read, take all the life prescriptions going, but ultimately there are no real hard and fast rules. Life is in your hands, until it’s not. At which point there’s not much you can do about it.

Featured photo credit: Misty Morning Runner/Mark Hawkins via composedimages.co.uk

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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