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10 Reasons Why Life Has No Rules

10 Reasons Why Life Has No Rules

Life has no rules. There’s a controversial life hack for you.

Today we are blitzed with shouty online tips and advice, prescriptive ways to be better, live better and achieve more. Many of these are possessed of a frightening confidence that This-Way-Is-The-Only-Way-And-There-Is-No-Other.

It’s time to calm down and call ‘baloney’ on some of that.

For the most part, life has no definite rules. There are multiple roads to wealth, health, success and failure. You can afford to take a wrong turn here or there. Here are a 10 reasons why.

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1. All Lives Are Unique

We are all different characters partly because we all have different experiences of life. Those experiences form who we are and influence the decisions we make. Experience shapes whether we are an optimist or a pessimist, whether we are likely to pick a more adventurous and ambitious route, or stick to a steadier path.

2. Dumb Luck Is A Big Factor

“Pah! You make your own luck in this world!” This is what some people say. But dumb luck plays a part in pretty much everything about our lives: where we are born, and to whom, the people we meet or don’t meet, our health and safety. Try telling the families of plane crash victims that ‘you make your own luck in this world,’ tell parents of children who die young with obscure diseases, tell people who have all their family, friends and worldly possessions wiped out by natural disaster.

Luck, good or bad, can come at you out of nowhere. It can help to propel you towards an incredible victory, or it can crush you in a second.

Many humans need to feel they are in control of everything, and the idea that they’re not is terrifying. The truth is that we are all tiny insects, playing around on this planet at the mercy of dumb luck. Reconciling heavy things that don’t make sense (sudden untimely death) and trying to find reason where there plainly is none (unfairness and corruption): these are amongst hardest things to face. But face it we must, and accepting dumb luck is a part of that.

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3. Success Convinces People Into Thinking They Know Everything

Success feeds the esteem and bolsters the ego like nothing else. People tell you you’re awesome, your business is flourishing, your bank managers visibly glow when they see you, your family and loved ones worship you, basking in the comfort you provided. How can that not have a pretty major impact on your outlook? You’re a rock star! All this life stuff is easy! You should share your brilliance with the world! This is when life prescriptions and self-help evangelism might begin to flow, based on one narrow life experience.

4. Success Makes People Compelling

Our heads are turned by flowery pearls of wisdom and inspirational quotes when they’re credited to a widely celebrated businessperson. If the exact same words were uttered to you through stale breath and spittle by your local miserly shopkeeper, you’d probably regard them differently.

5. You Are Free To Think Independently

You can always choose whether or not to respect someone’s opinion. Have the confidence to think independently and know your own mind, even if it’s directly opposed to a book, a bunch of people, the general consensus, or that guy the whole world seems to love.

6. We Are All Making It Up As We Go Along

Everyone is winging it. The chances are, your local miserly shopkeeper followed a business hunch, improvised and made stuff up as he went along, much the same as the celebrated business person you admire. Some people naturally improvise better and more convincingly than others.

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There are many exponents of specific business formulae, certain best practices and personal self-help guidebooks. But placed in the moment with a decision in front of us, most of us will click on the autopilot and try to wing it.

7. Noble Failures Are Ignored, Until They Become Successes

It’s acknowledged by some of the most successful entrepreneurs that there are a great many lessons to be learned from failure. But it’s usually only after achieving success that you earn an audience, credibility and respect. Not after failure.

While you might have failed at something, or maybe it didn’t turn out how you hoped, you learned from the experience. Sure, you could be feeling a little low, your ego and esteem has taken a blow, your credibility isn’t hitting the peaks. But now is your chance to apply what you learned into something meaningful.

8. There’s Always More Than One Path

The endlessly fluid, linear, one-thing-after-another nature of life means that you never really know where decisions will lead until you take them. And you always have more than one option. Some paths look scarier than others, obstructed and challenging; some look easier and more inviting.

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People promote paths that they know worked for them. They might work for you too, but they might not. There’s often no right or wrong. Listen to your gut, trust your instinct, believe in yourself, be ok with the chance of getting it wrong.

9. We All Have To Gamble

We all have to put ourselves out there at one time or another, and take a leap of faith. Whether it’s to do with matters of the heart and allowing ourselves to get hurt emotionally, or whether it’s taking a big business gamble, we have to make decisions without knowing the outcome. Of course we hope that it will all pay off beautifully, but we don’t and can’t ever truly know. Indeed, some magic of life would be removed if we did.

10. We Will Be Wrong Sometimes, And That’s Ok

There’s a roughly equal amount of failure and success. In truth, there’s probably more failure, but it’s less well promoted in the media. Relationships fail, businesses break down, other bad stuff happens. And this may be in part, or in whole, down to us. We’re humans and we get it wrong sometimes. Getting it wrong is a thing that will happen, however much we defend against it, and we should be ok with that.

You can listen, read, take all the life prescriptions going, but ultimately there are no real hard and fast rules. Life is in your hands, until it’s not. At which point there’s not much you can do about it.

Featured photo credit: Misty Morning Runner/Mark Hawkins via composedimages.co.uk

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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