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The Little Things That Matter In Every Relationship

The Little Things That Matter In Every Relationship

In this self-centered world, it’s hard to keep a romantic relationship going strong. Break-ups happen often for no reason at all, or a reason that could have been overcome if only there was a will to do so. Sometimes, it’s the small things that keeps a couple together for a long time.  Here are 10 little things that matter in every relationship.

Say it!

We mean the “I love you” sentence.  If you feel it, say it.  Take your significant other by the hands, look them deep into their eyes, and say it.  A smile is sure to appear on their face.  Three little words that can light up both your days and remind them of how much they are loved.

Watch a romantic movie.

Simple but effective. There are plenty of romantic movies out there to see, but personally, I’d suggest you skip Hollywood movies and focus on European ones. Why? They are not Cinderella like, they have real-life situations and they can be pretty interesting. My favorites are these two.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I4S4n2Meh4

Be silly together

Letting your inhibitions go and being childlike is something that can easily be forgotten when you’re an adult and especially when you’re a couple.  Being silly together shows that you are comfortable with each other, that you have embraced one another and could be a great reminder why you fell for each other in the first place.  A couple who can laugh and play together is a happy one.

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Say thank you 

It’s not hard to say thank you.

But we don’t mean the default “thank you” such as when someone brings you a cup of coffee. We mean a “thank you” for the things that really matter.  When they hold your hand through a crisis, when they lift you up when you fall, when they stay by your side when you’re ill. In those situations gratitude is rarely expressed with words, but can go a long way to make the other person feel special and cared for.

Compliments

Compliments are wonderful. It’s an instant lift when someone acknowledges you in a positive light, especially when it’s coming from someone you love.  It shows that you’re noticed, appreciated and admired.  Complimenting your partner on their looks, their personality, their positive spirit or whatever else you admire or love about them is something you can’t do too much of.  It’s a small gesture that can make a huge, positive impact on your relationship.

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Do what the significant other enjoy

If he likes to watch sports, watch with him and cheer on his favorite team.  Listen and take interest in what your partner likes to do, even if it’s not your personal favorite.  In turn, when you want to do an activity that you enjoy, they’ll be open and willing to do it with you as well.  Going outside of your comfort zone and sitting through an opera or ballet for the simple fact that she enjoys it, speaks volumes to your significant other.  It’s a small gesture that shows you want to be with them and that you go out of your way to see them happy in their element.

Travel together

Did you know that some couples don’t travel together before their honeymoon? It may come as a big surprise to realize that you’re not comfortable traveling with each other after years and years of relationship, and that’s normal, but there’s a cure.

Start now. When you find yourself far away from the place you live in, you have only each other to rely on, you will spend more time together- just the two of you, and you will create memories.  If you can’t afford a big vacation, try doing a ‘staycation’ and explore cities and sights around you that are nearby.  Whether or not it turns out to be a great vacation, it will give you both a shared experience and something to talk about that will bring you closer.

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A little present goes a long way

It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate, in fact, it can be the simple act of getting them their favorite ice cream on the way home because you know they had a long, hard day at work.  It’s not the present but the gesture and the thought that went into it that will be appreciated more so than the actual ‘thing’ you got them.  Have they been talking about getting a certain book or waiting to see a certain movie?  Buy that book when it comes out or make a date for the day the movie opens, not only will they be happy but they’ll know that you listen to them and you care.

Cuddle

Cuddling is the best way to show that you love someone. Cuddling has this wonderful ability to soothe away the pain and calm you down.  It works both ways. Not only will your partner feel relaxed, but you will shake off some of that everyday stress. And when it’s cold, you could keep each other warm.

Take their side in an argument

This is more important than you think. You should always back your partner up when they are having a brawl, even if you think that they are not in the right. You must never leave them standing on their own in an argument. At the very least, you should try and bring the argument to an end. That way they will know that you have their back, that they can rely on you and that you love them. This is a little thing that makes a BIG difference.

Some of these advice you know already. Some of these are new to you, but trust us, they come from years of experience, and they really work. Let us know your thoughts.

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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