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10 Keys to Speed up Your Manifesting Process

10 Keys to Speed up Your Manifesting Process

Every moment we are conscious, we are creating. Whether we accept it or not, we are always co-creating with the Universe. Our beliefs, attitudes, the actions we take, the lens through which we look at life—it is all part of the creation process. The movie The Secret made the word “manifesting” popular. Many people have achieved magnificent results by visualizing and using some of the techniques discussed in the movie. Yet, some express difficulty even visualizing a positive outcome from where they stand. I have been around both kinds of people. Shaped by my personal experiences and extensive research on manifesting, I was able to put together ten ideas that can help speed up your manifesting process. Plant these ideas in your mind and let them grow into giant trees of consciousness.

Here we go!

1. Give yourself permission to want what you want.

As far as I know, the Universe has not provided us with a rule book that dictates when we deserve to hope for a raise, to make more money or to have the relationship we want. I am pretty sure that such a rule book does not exist. We decide what we deserve. No one else does. So, if you want to open up a glass blowing studio in Costa Rica, don’t wait for someone to tell you that you deserve to want it. I don’t believe that we can be given such a huge capacity to feel and be told not to want. Desire is the reason we do anything. And that’s how we are designed to live.

2. Be really willing to receive.

You might think, “Duh! Of course I want to receive it. I am asking for it, aren’t I?” Truthfully, that does not mean that you are willing to receive it into your life, heart and body. Look for and challenge limiting beliefs that could prevent you from being open to receiving what you desire. One way to accomplish this is by taking your dream all the way to the end, watching a movie of its highest potential in your mind (visualizing yourself living/having it) and seeing how far you allow yourself go in your mind until you start feeling undeserving or uncomfortable. Then look into the “why” and work with that.

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3. Be willing to doubt your doubts.

The truth is, the whole Universe is being managed while we are watching TV, shopping, making love and mowing the lawn. There are so many things in the Universe that work perfectly without us doing anything about it. We are not in charge of the weather, the sky, the oceans or earthquakes, yet we are gullible enough to not believe in miracles. The only limit is in our minds. Our conditioned, human minds. Just accepting this idea and reminding yourself of this fact will consistently help you wave away doubts.

4. Pick and choose who you share your dreams with.

There are people out there whose volunteer gig is dream-crushing. For whatever reason, they can’t go beyond their own conditioning of what can or cannot happen in life. If you are the kind of person who needs a lot of encouragement and gets easily affected by others’ negative comments, be very discretionary about who you share your goals, dreams and aspirations with, especially when they are in the gestation period. Protect the soil where you planted the seed for your dreams. Don’t let others’ hang ups about what is possible in life contaminate your vision.

5. Do your best to keep your vibration up.

Here is what’s real about life: we don’t feel happy all the time. Our emotional (vibrational) barometer doesn’t always point to Optimistic. Thankfully, there are many ways to raise your energy.

Giving ourselves and others compliments is a sure way to increase our vibration. If you are feeling low on happiness juice, compliment a mother for her baby’s cute outfit at the grocery store or visualize and appreciate a pet you adore. Develop a practice of stating good things that are true about you to yourself (even out loud), such as, “I love my toes. People love homemade lasagna. I am a good friend,” etc.

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What if it is a rough day and everything seems to be going wrong? Then accept it! Allow yourself to feel as crappy as you already do. Really. The energy of acceptance is much higher than the energy of resistance.

6. Take inspired action.

When it comes to “doing something” to move your dream along, the golden rule is to take inspired (in-spirit-ed) action. Meaning, staying open and alert to messages you receive from the Universe and following that fluttery feeling towards action that feels right. That inspired action sometimes comes as an unexpected nudge to call up a friend from college, who used to be very active in fundraising for nonprofits (if you are looking to start a nonprofit organization, for example). It is nice to have a plan and by any means, utilize plans in any way you can. Just don’t rely solely on your mind to manifest goodness in your life. Your intuitive guidance, when you are open to hearing it, will move you faster than you might imagine.

7. Strive to rise above jealousy.

Feeling jealous of someone’s awesome relationship, promotion or their new beautiful home is natural and human, but the quicker you move past that, the better it is for your manifestation process. When we feel jealous, our energy is invested in the scarcity side of the abundance continuum. It is a lower energy to try to manifest with. If you can, think about how their happiness effects the positive vibration in the Universe. Find some good aspects of them having it. If it seems like they are doing your thing, see that person as someone paving the way for you while making their own mistakes. Learn from them; don’t hate them.

8. Use a mantra to deal with your current less-than-ideal situation.

Remember that the small apartment, the dysfunctional relationship or the physical ailment that might be active in your life right now have helped you give birth to new desires.  Now, while you are in it, use mantras to open up your consciousness to possibilities.  For instance, if you are at a job where you feel under-appreciated and inadequately compensated, instead of saying “I hate this job,” say, “I prefer to work at a job where my skills are verbally and financially rewarded.” This way, you get to acknowledge the discomfort, but build a more hopeful and open language around it.

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9. Trust your soul’s path.

You are free to want what you want, and it does not make you less or more spiritual. Everyone’s goal is to be happy on their journey here. Is someone’s happy you’re happy? Some people want to have five kids and devote their life to their family. They are perfectly happy and fulfilled that way. Some people are destined to make a name for themselves by sharing who they are. We don’t know what anyone’s soul plan is and what they are here to learn.  Consider and even make peace with the idea that marrying a doctor or buying a summer house in the Hamptons may not be in your soul’s plan. Keep this in mind and still want what you want. Wanting something and being attached to it are not the same thing. Practice trusting the bigger plan.

10. Do your inner work.

Our core beliefs are like the gateway to our experience of life. Many beliefs are formed when we are too young to have the experience base to know or judge if those beliefs are facts. We didn’t have a choice in the matter as we were growing up. But now as adults, we have the power to upgrade our belief system, and thus, change our lives for the better. Look for outdated, limiting beliefs in an area of life where you could use an upgrade. Pay attention to your judgments. Especially about things like happy couples, rich people, skinny women, etc. Your awareness of your judgments will lead you to what your subconscious is holding. Challenge and clear up these outdated beliefs that you find.

 

We all deserve to feel good and manifest good things that make our path easier, smoother and more enjoyable. We are here to co-create with the Universe. We cannot control everything, but we can develop new perspectives that help the process to move along faster.

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Happy manifesting!

Featured photo credit: Dreaming by Moyer Brenn via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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