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10 Everyday Moments Only Truly Happy People Would Understand

10 Everyday Moments Only Truly Happy People Would Understand

It is often said that life is enjoyed in the everyday, small moments. It is also said that for happy people the small everyday moments are as abundant as the oxygen we breathe. Yet, many of us struggle to live in the moment and savor the many, many enjoyable, available and repeating events in our lives. Let’s take a moment and try to find some of these everday things and relish in them.

1. The moment that your dog jumps up to hug you.

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings (a.k.a. Henry Wheeler Shaw; humorist and lecturer)

Many of you may who have a dog, probably seen this phenomenon. You wake up with your eyes barely open and you feel two pairs of paws reaching up at you. It seems like your dog has not seeing you in a year! To them, it might as well have been a year. Dogs are extremely social and loving animals and their affection is genuine towards their owners, and even visitors or guests.

It is an everyday moment that must not be ignored or minimized. It is worth every second to kneel down and give your dog a hug. It is a moment that you can savor everyday, and each time it happens. In fact, the more you do this, the more it will become a routine with your dog and who could not use a hug everyday? Hugs are warm, simple, and easy, so get on those knees and embrace your dog with all your might. Savor this moment and recognize how much this simple activity will put a smile on your face and warm your heart.

2. The moment a stranger unexpectedly says hello and smiles at you

“Yellow circles are friendly. Especially smiley faces.” – Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Ah, the power of a smile and a hello. When I moved from California to Indiana, I was completely shocked by something. My wife and I started searching for a home and we’d drive through countless neighborhoods looking for “for sale” signs. As we would drive around, complete strangers would wave and wave. I would turn to my wife every time and ask, “do you know them? why are they waving at you?” She would say, “I don’t know them. They’re just being friendly.” For me, it was shocking every time. After four years of living in Indiana, I am still not used to it. I still get confused when someone says hello at the local coffee shop.To make it even more complicated, they smile too! I have actually had a couple of experiences where someone paid for our dinner and our coffee at the local Starbucks.

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There is beauty and innocence in the act of smiling and saying hello to people. I would even say it’s a custom that is disappearing. Please don’t let it disappear from your life. Make it a challenge every day to smile and/or say hello to someone. It does not have to turn into a conversation or into a commitment of any kind. It is simply a way of extending some friendliness and also receiving some back! Try it, and enjoy it!

3. The moment that you miss a friend, a family member, or a spouse.

“Can miles truly separate you from friends…. If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?” – Richard Bach

I know this one through and through.. If you don’t have anyone to “miss”, then you need to work on that! Although it is not by default a pleasant feeling, it feels so wonderful to want to talk to or be with someone that you love. For many years, I lived close to my family in California, but over the last four years, I have learned to value “missing” them. That let’s me know that I truly love them and value them. It is not that I didn’t love or value them before, but distance does make the heart grow fonder. Now, I look forward to planning my trips out to California, plus purposefully calling them and video-calling them has become a priority.

Missing someone could also happen when someone is close to you. Missing someone means you see the value that person has in your life. They mean more than just another body, another voice in your household, or another voice at your job. It’s another set of experiences, another set of thoughts and laughs that they add to your life. When you get that feeling of missing someone, let it remind you that you value something about that relationship and then let them know how much you are missing them!

4. The moment that you realize you can sing like Mick Jagger – in the shower.

“If you’ve got nothing to dance about, find a reason to sing.” – Melody Carstairs

You have sung in the shower before. We all have. It’s like admitting we’ve all pretended to be Michael Jordan on the basketball court at one time or another. Although all of us could use some singing lessons, there is an absolute flow of happiness and joy from singing your favorite song, either in the shower, or in your car. Hey, maybe even at a party or with a karaoke machine. My wife tells me all the time she wishes she could sing. I know she can, actually. She can carry a tune pretty well.

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So, take your favorite song, and simply sing along to it. Yes, you probably won’t sing it perfectly, but let your voice ring and let your heart sing. You are Mick Jagger in that moment singing “I can’t get no satisfaction”, all the while getting some satisfaction.

5. The moment that you see the neighborhood birds hopping along your sidewalk without a care in the world.

 “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I see this one often. My wife’s family loves watching birds. I grew up chasing pigeons away from our porch because they would eat the grass seed my dad would put on the grass. I have to admit, though, that watching birds is truly peaceful. Here’s why: we can absorb their peace and their pace. I watch birds as they walk along the sidewalk, not in a hurry, not in an impatient cadence, but in a calm and curious demeanor. They hop, they look around, hop again, and then they fly to a nearby branch. Then they repeat that sequence. Sometimes, they’ll chase each other around. I like to guess what they’d be saying to each other.

It’s truly magnificent. I especially love to watch falcons as they glide over the trees and the meadows, seemingly without a worry. There is an absence of frustration. There is an absence of doubt. But, there is a presence of confidence and patience. We could all use more of that in our lives!

6. The moment that you feel that warm coffee or latte in the early morning on your taste buds.

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?” – Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

This is my favorite. Since I was a child, my family has the tradition of drinking coffee as a way to relax and enjoy the day. I have a very vivid picture in my mind of my mother sitting at the kitchen counter just sipping on her morning coffee – without a care in the world. I guess I picked that up from her. It may seem counter intuitive, but drinking a well-prepared cup of coffee is the best way to start my day. It’s the warmth of the coffee and the taste. I personally like mine with a good amount of cream and sweetened. Some people say I like coffee with my sugar, and that’s okay. It works for me. Some people love their tea in the morning. That’s good as well!

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Here’s the point: it’s more about enjoying the simple act of sipping on a warm, great-tasting beverage and taking the time to enjoy it. I also like to look at the steam rising from the cup. Like my mom, I drink coffee to think and to simply be. I like to drink coffee while I drive somewhere, or while I read a book because it is a reminder for me to relax and slow down. No, you definitely do not need Starbucks every day of the week, but a simple cup Folgers does it for me.

7. The moment that you finish your workout and feel truly empowered.

“You would be surprised what two hours of daily exercise and five hundred stomach crunches can do for you.” – Justina Chen, North of Beautiful

I remember walking into the Fontana boxing gym in Fontana, California. I had researched this boxing gym online and I had talked to the trainer about what training would involve. If you have ever dared to try boxing for a workout, then I congratulate you. My trainer told me that the reason boxers look the way they do is that they are the best trained athletes in the world. It is 100% true. I dared myself to enter the lion’s den and train like a boxer would. Yes, I was scared. Yes, I almost decided not to go. Yes, I was scared all over again – every time I went!

But, here’s what happened. I felt so empowered and confident once I survived the first training session. Not only did I learn how to push myself beyond what I ever thought was possible, I also learned to shut off the negative thinking that kept telling me I couldn’t throw any more punches, or that my legs couldn’t take another lunge. I was wrong every time. My body could take it and outperform itself every time. That did wonders for my psychological health. Plus, it didn’t hurt to have my trainer yelling at me not to “pitty pat” his punching bags. That made me into a real boxer, even if only for that one hour.

8. The moment that you open a book without knowing where it’s going to take you.

“You’re never alone when you’re reading a book.” – Susan Wiggs

Beginning to read a book is like opening a present. You never know what it’s going to be! I’ll admit I haven’t always been a voracious reader. Lately, I’ve been increasing my reading appetite by recognizing that I can learn so many wonderful life lessons by reading books. I have even started to listen to audio books on YouTube. If you are wondering what kind of books you like to read, try several kinds. You might be surprised that you enjoy reading self-help books, or that you enjoy reading political books. I would recommend buying used books, which sometimes are literally discounted almost 90% off the new list price. You have nothing to lose, except the endless possibilities of what you could learn, experience, or imagine.

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Don’t try to read for too long, if you cannot stomach it at first. Start with one page, and keep that up as long as you can. Then, move up to two pages and so on. Give yourself this gift of stimulating your mind. Television can be great, but reading makes your mind decipher, use it’s creativity and imagination. It’s a much better diet than having everything created for it with television.

9. The moment that you realize you have stinky feet.

I like to walk around with bare feet and I don’t like to comb my hair.”- Beyonce Knowles

This one probably has you scratching your head. Why would stinky feet be a moment happy people appreciate? Well, it points to the reality that you are not perfect – and that’s a good thing! First, it’s a healthy perspective to see yourself as less than perfect. It will also help you realize that other people aren’t perfect either. As my uncle used to say, if you really like a girl and want to ask her out, imagine her stinky feet. She’ll seem less intimidating and more on your level. It definitely worked on several occasions! I would invite you to laugh and smile at your stinky feet because it takes you back to the time when you were a little boy or girl full of innocence and simplicity.

10. The moment that you see your spouse walk through the door.

“Your spouse is that special person God provided to walk with you until the game of life ends.” – Christian Maciel

I’ve read a Men’s Health article that explained one explicit trait of an awesome wife. One of the most striking concepts of the article was that when your wife walks through the door and it makes you nervous – that means you have an awesome wife. I could not agree more. If you feel that slight nervousness or excitement when you see your wife or husband, then you have something there that maybe most relationships do not have. One of the most beautiful experiences that human beings can enjoy is an awesome relationship. If you feel your marriage or relationship is lacking in this regard, seek some inspiration, or even help.

Marriage is something to protect, build and to enjoy. If you are not doing one of these three things, then you could be missing out on an awesome marriage. The next time your spouse walks through the door, think back to the time when you first saw them and your breath was taken away. What was it that attracted you about them? If you have forgotten that traits, or qualities, do your best to remember. It’ll bring back some wonderful feelings of nervousness and excitement.

Featured photo credit: Happy beautiful woman playing outdoor, trying to catch snowflakes with her tongue via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

When I wrote my book Extraordinary PR, Ordinary Budget: A Strategy Guide, I was surprised at the various layers of review and editing necessary to get the book to publication. Before I ever submitted the manuscript, I enlisted a former colleague to read and copy edit my work. Then, I submitted my work to an editor at the publisher’s house, and once she approved it, she sent it to her colleagues and then her company’s editorial board.

Upon editorial board approval of my book, my editor sent my work to reviewers in my field, then a developmental editor, then a designer and layout team and, finally, another copy editor. There were a host of personalities with whom I needed to interact along the way.

It turns out that getting a publishing contract was just the beginning – a lot happens between developing a concept, writing the book, finding an agent and publisher, and getting the book on bookshelves or on Audible or Kindle. Through every milestone of the publishing process, my ability to interact with others was crucial. This underscored for me that no matter what or how much a person accomplishes, you never do it alone – everyone needs assistance from others.

While I conceived of the book and wrote the manuscript, there is no way my book could have hit booksellers’ shelves without the dozens of people who were involved in the publishing process. Further, interpersonal skills can propel or stonewall success.

Even as someone who has written hundreds of essays, press releases, pitch notes and other correspondence, writing itself is not a solitary endeavor. Sure, I may write in solitude, but the moment I am finished writing, there are always clients, colleagues, partners, peers and others who review my content.

What is more, even as a published author and contributor for this platform, I try to never submit final copy (content) that has not been copy edited. I send everything to my copy editor, whom I pay out of my own pocket, for her review, edits and approval. Once she has reviewed my work, caught unbeknownst-to-me errors, I am much more confident putting my work out in the world.

How Interpersonal Skills Affect Relationships

It is clearer to me now more than ever before that interpersonal skills are needed in every profession and every trade.

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People don’t elect leaders because the leaders are smart. Individuals are motivated to vote when they have a hero and when they feel they have something to lose. If they seriously dislike the other candidate, they are much more likely vote according to a 2000 Ohio State University study:

“A disliked candidate is seen as a threat, and that will be motivation to go to the polls. But a threat alone isn’t enough – people need to have a hero to vote for, too, in order to inspire them to turn out on Election Day.”

In a work setting, interpersonal skills impact every facet of your development and success. Trainers must collaborate with a design team or the company hiring them to facilitate the training. During the training itself, the facilitators must connect with the audience and establish a rapport that supports vulnerability and openness. If the trainers interact poorly with the trainees, they are unlikely to be invited back. If they are invited back, they may be unlikely to inspire cooperation or growth in their trainees.

Solopreneurs interactions with clients and subcontractors, and those interactions will, in part, support or adversely impact their business. If you enjoy a career as an acclaimed surgeon or respected lawyer, your interactions with patients, clients, health insurance agencies and a team of other practitioners – many of whom are shielded from public view – will improve or decimate your practice.

As a hiring manager, one of the things I consider when interviewing candidates is their interpersonal skills. I assess the interpersonal skills they display in their content and face-to-face presentation. I ask probing questions to learn how they interact with others, manage conflict and contribute to a team atmosphere.

When candidates say things like, “I prefer to work alone” or “I can hit the ground running without assistance,” I bristle. When candidates appear to know everything and everyone, I wonder if they will be receptive to learning or open to feedback. Could these statements be indications that these individuals lack interpersonal skills?

It stands to reason, then, that interpersonal skills are among the most valuable and the bedrock of all talents and skills.

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What are Interpersonal Skills?

Interpersonal skills range from emotional intelligence, empathy, oral and written communication to leadership to collaboration and teamwork.

In sum, interpersonal skills are skills that enable you to interact well with others. They include teachability and receptiveness to feedback, active or mindful listening, self-confidence and conflict resolution.

From a communications standpoint, interpersonal skills are about understanding how colleagues prefer to communicate and then using the appropriate mediums to meet respective needs. It is about understanding how to communicate in a way to get the most out of different people.

For instance, in my career as a public relations practitioner, part of what I am constantly evaluating is which colleagues, clients and members of the media prefer email, text or phone calls. I am assessing how much frill to use with each person depending on what has worked in the past and depending on what I know about the person with whom I am interacting.

Making these decisions and being disciplined enough to follow each person’s known preferences helps me better connect with the various individuals in my orbit. Is this tiring at times? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely.

How to Improve Interpersonal Skills

There are tons of resources to teach interpersonal skills. I love books such as Leadership Presence by Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

There are also a host of books and articles on emotional intelligence, which is the ability to manage one’s emotions and perceive and adapt to others’ emotions. Emotional intelligence is likewise a critical component of positive interpersonal relations. You can learn more about it in this article: What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why It Is Important

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Active and mindful listening also support improved interpersonal skills. I recommend you take a look at this piece: Active Listening – A Skill That Everyone Should Master

I have further found that humility helps a ton with interpersonal skills. It takes humility to admit you have more to learn and that you can learn from the people around you. In fact, everyone with whom you interact has a lesson to teach you. And employers are increasingly looking for team members who are lifelong learners, meaning they believe there is always room for growth and professional and personal development.

Forbes contributor Kevin H. Johnson noted in a July 2018 article,

“That’s why, when anyone asks what the next ‘hot’ skill will be, I say it’s the same skill that will serve people today, tomorrow, and far into the future—the ability to learn.”

Don’t overlook introspection.

While interpersonal skills may seem simple enough, introspection is critical to learning where and in what ways you need to grow.

Through introspection and observation, I have learned that my interpersonal skills suffer when I am sleep deprived, because then I am short-tempered and irritable. I’ve observed this connection over a significant period in my life. Unsurprisingly, it is also true of others. Fellow LifeHack contributor, health coach and personal trainer Jamie Logie noted:

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When you are chronically sleep deprived, it really does a number on you. A lack of sleep can keep your body in a constant state of stress and over time this can get pretty ugly. Elevated stress hormones can be involved in creating a bunch of pretty nasty conditions including anxiety, headaches and dizziness, weight gain, depression, stroke, hypertension, digestive disorders, immune system dysfunction, irritability.

Additionally, the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reported,

“Sleep deprivation can noticeably affect people’s performance, including their ability to think clearly, react quickly, and form memories. Sleep deprivation also affects mood, leading to irritability; problems with relationships, especially for children and teenagers; and depression. Sleep deprivation can also increase anxiety.”

The point is, even as you are identifying ways to improve interpersonal skills, think about what is getting in the way. While sleep deprivation is a trigger for me, your stumbling block may be different.

The Bottom Line

You cannot fix what you do not know is broken. Even as you work to understand and apply interpersonal skills, spend some time in mindful meditation to get clear on what is holding you back from developing solid relationships.

Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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