When a relationship goes wrong it’s usually because both parties are to blame. You may have read otherwise but when one person does something wrong it inspires bad behavior in the other person and vice versa. To all of the men out there, you can’t change people but you can fix the issues that you’re causing and hope that it motivates your partner to fix theirs too. Here are some of the biggest relationship mistakes most men make.
1. You don’t give her enough gifts
This is a common one. After a while it’s hard to drive up the motivation to get your partner something special. Money may be tight or you may not think about it anymore because you have slid into that routine that all couples get into eventually. There is absolutely no point in any relationship where the woman or man in your life doesn’t like getting something nice.
2. You give her the wrong gifts
It’s just as bad to give her the wrong gifts. It is a frequent occurrence that men will get their partner a gift that the man actually wants but wants to disguise it as a gift for her or for both of them. After a very short period of time (if you’re paying attention) you will know what kind of stuff she likes. Stay within those defined lines unless otherwise notified. If she likes cloths and shoes and you buy her a pool tarp, you are doing it wrong.
3. You don’t understand her
People are like snowflakes. They are all different and that makes them infinitely more difficult to understand. That makes this a more common problem than many men will admit. If you’re having problems figuring her out then you should probably sit down and ask her some questions. If you’ve been trying this long and have failed, it’s probably not a good idea to base your relationship on the idea that you’ll eventually just understand her.
4. You’re scared or intimidated by her
Don’t get us wrong. Women can be scary. They can be very scary. That doesn’t mean that they’ll sit there and take you being scared of them. When you’re in a relationship, you’re in a partnership. If the woman feels like you’re only around because you’re too scared to do what you really want then she’ll get rid of you and find someone who isn’t afraid to show her how he feels.
5. You put something else before her
This is pretty self-explanatory. No person ever likes it when their significant other puts work, another person, or anything else before them. You had better believe she has a running tally of how many times you’ve blown off a dinner date because of work or because of your friends. We’re not saying you can’t have a job, friends, or interests but when push comes to shove you’d better make sure she knows she matters the most.
6. You don’t pay enough attention to her feelings
When a woman in a relationship is angry, she may not show it like a normal person. If she’s jealous, suspicious, or otherwise unhappy then you’re looking at pretty much the same predicament. Unfortunately it’s your job to figure it out because what she’s doing is essentially testing you. If you notice that something is off you are rewarded with her telling you the problem and giving you and opportunity to fix it. If you let it go, she’ll do the same to you.
7. You pay way too much attention to her feelings
If you’re asking her what the problem is every other day or every day then you’re probably looking too far into things. It’s touching and sweet at first but rest assured it’ll start getting annoying. Soon her problem will be you and we both know what happens when you’re the problem in a relationship.
8. You don’t inspire trust
As far as I’m concerned, this is the most important item on the list. If you can’t get her to trust you then you have messed up pretty bad. The rest of these are issues that are easily overcome but trust is something that’ll likely be lost forever. It’s a fragile feeling and it’s easy to shatter trust. It doesn’t have to be cheating or outward lying either. If you’re sending messages to another woman on Facebook and they could even remotely be construed as suggestive, then you better hope she never finds out. If she does, it’s game over. The best way to inspire trust and the best way to maintain it is to simply not do anything that could destroy it.
9. You’re too clingy or wishy washy
Women love a man who is around frequently but if you’re attached to her hip she’s going to learn to dislike it when you’re around. If she wanted an animal that hugged her leg all day long she’d have kids or get a dog. She needs a partner and especially one that knows how to give her space when she needs it. Also, don’t be too wishy washy. If you have to ask if you’re being too wishy washy then you’re probably being too wishy washy. You can love someone without turning into a total pansy.
10. You don’t talk to her enough
One of the reasons you’re even in a relationship is so you don’t have to go through life alone. If you’re not talking to your partner then why do you have one? Sit down on a frequent basis and talk to the woman. Ask her about her day, tell her about your dreams, and discuss things you guys have in common. She’s not just a person you have sex with, she’s your best friend and partner in crime. If the communication is weak then the relationship is weak.
Now women, a lot of these can apply to you too. Getting your man that pink, Hello Kitty t-shirt may be fun for you but he has to go out in public in that thing. Sending even remotely suggestive messages to that guy on Facebook and hiding it from your man can inspire just as much distrust as when he does it to you. Frankly, we probably could have taken the gender identifier out of this and made it the relationship mistakes that everyone makes. However, this is for you men out there. If you have a problem, fix it and hope that it encourages your partner to do the same.
Featured photo credit: A Cartoon Christmas via acartoonchristmas.com