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10 Biggest Relationship Mistakes Most Men Make

10 Biggest Relationship Mistakes Most Men Make

When a relationship goes wrong it’s usually because both parties are to blame. You may have read otherwise but when one person does something wrong it inspires bad behavior in the other person and vice versa. To all of the men out there, you can’t change people but you can fix the issues that you’re causing and hope that it motivates your partner to fix theirs too. Here are some of the biggest relationship mistakes most men make.

1. You don’t give her enough gifts

This is a common one. After a while it’s hard to drive up the motivation to get your partner something special. Money may be tight or you may not think about it anymore because you have slid into that routine that all couples get into eventually. There is absolutely no point in any relationship where the woman or man in your life doesn’t like getting something nice.

2. You give her the wrong gifts

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relationship mistakes

    It’s just as bad to give her the wrong gifts. It is a frequent occurrence that men will get their partner a gift that the man actually wants but wants to disguise it as a gift for her or for both of them. After a very short period of time (if you’re paying attention) you will know what kind of stuff she likes. Stay within those defined lines unless otherwise notified. If she likes cloths and shoes and you buy her a pool tarp, you are doing it wrong.

    3. You don’t understand her

    People are like snowflakes. They are all different and that makes them infinitely more difficult to understand. That makes this a more common problem than many men will admit. If you’re having problems figuring her out then you should probably sit down and ask her some questions. If you’ve been trying this long and have failed, it’s probably not a good idea to base your relationship on the idea that you’ll eventually just understand her.

    4. You’re scared or intimidated by her

    Don’t get us wrong. Women can be scary. They can be very scary. That doesn’t mean that they’ll sit there and take you being scared of them. When you’re in a relationship, you’re in a partnership. If the woman feels like you’re only around because you’re too scared to do what you really want then she’ll get rid of you and find someone who isn’t afraid to show her how he feels.

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    5. You put something else before her

    This is pretty self-explanatory. No person ever likes it when their significant other puts work, another person, or anything else before them. You had better believe she has a running tally of how many times you’ve blown off a dinner date because of work or because of your friends. We’re not saying you can’t have a job, friends, or interests but when push comes to shove you’d better make sure she knows she matters the most.

    6. You don’t pay enough attention to her feelings

    When a woman in a relationship is angry, she may not show it like a normal person. If she’s jealous, suspicious, or otherwise unhappy then you’re looking at pretty much the same predicament. Unfortunately it’s your job to figure it out because what she’s doing is essentially testing you. If you notice that something is off you are rewarded with her telling you the problem and giving you and opportunity to fix it. If you let it go, she’ll do the same to you.

    7. You pay way too much attention to her feelings

    If you’re asking her what the problem is every other day or every day then you’re probably looking too far into things. It’s touching and sweet at first but rest assured it’ll start getting annoying. Soon her problem will be you and we both know what happens when you’re the problem in a relationship.

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    8. You don’t inspire trust

    Online affairs relationship mistakes

      As far as I’m concerned, this is the most important item on the list. If you can’t get her to trust you then you have messed up pretty bad. The rest of these are issues that are easily overcome but trust is something that’ll likely be lost forever. It’s a fragile feeling and it’s easy to shatter trust. It doesn’t have to be cheating or outward lying either. If you’re sending messages to another woman on Facebook and they could even remotely be construed as suggestive, then you better hope she never finds out. If she does, it’s game over. The best way to inspire trust and the best way to maintain it is to simply not do anything that could destroy it.

      9. You’re too clingy or wishy washy

      Women love a man who is around frequently but if you’re attached to her hip she’s going to learn to dislike it when you’re around. If she wanted an animal that hugged her leg all day long she’d have kids or get a dog. She needs a partner and especially one that knows how to give her space when she needs it. Also, don’t be too wishy washy. If you have to ask if you’re being too wishy washy then you’re probably being too wishy washy. You can love someone without turning into a total pansy.

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      10. You don’t talk to her enough

      One of the reasons you’re even in a relationship is so you don’t have to go through life alone. If you’re not talking to your partner then why do you have one? Sit down on a frequent basis and talk to the woman. Ask her about her day, tell her about your dreams, and discuss things you guys have in common. She’s not just a person you have sex with, she’s your best friend and partner in crime. If the communication is weak then the relationship is weak.

      Now women, a lot of these can apply to you too. Getting your man that pink, Hello Kitty t-shirt may be fun for you but he has to go out in public in that thing. Sending even remotely suggestive messages to that guy on Facebook and hiding it from your man can inspire just as much distrust as when he does it to you. Frankly, we probably could have taken the gender identifier out of this and made it the relationship mistakes that everyone makes. However, this is for you men out there. If you have a problem, fix it and hope that it encourages your partner to do the same.

      Featured photo credit: A Cartoon Christmas via acartoonchristmas.com

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      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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      1 5 Real Relationship Goals You Should Actually Strive Toward 2 When You Learn A Second Language, These 7 Amazing Things Will Happen To You 3 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy 4 7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language 5 How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake

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      Last Updated on January 15, 2021

      7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

      7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

      The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

      Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

      Posture

      First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

      • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
      • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
      • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
      • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

      All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

      Facial Expressions

      Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

      • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
      • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
      • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

      If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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      1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

      A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

      The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

      This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

      2. Relax Your Face

      New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

      The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

      To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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      3. Improve Your Eye Contact

      Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

      The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

      To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

      3. Smile More

      There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

      Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

      4. Hand Gestures

      Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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      It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

      5. Enhance Your Handshake

      In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

      “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

      It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

      6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

      As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

      Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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      Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

      Final Takeaways

      Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

      If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

      More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

      Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

      Reference

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