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Don’t Know How to Balance Your Dream With Reality? Ask Yourself These 7 Questions

Don’t Know How to Balance Your Dream With Reality? Ask Yourself These 7 Questions

There are a couple things that all of us hear, undoubtedly, in our lives. One is “What are you plans for the future?” and the other is “You should follow your heart and pursue your passion!”

The former can become very annoying, whereas the latter is supposed to make us feel confident and inspired. I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me to follow my dreams or pursue my passion, I have a tendency to freeze up. How am I supposed to do that? What if pursuing my passion means quitting my 9-5 job and being my own boss? How will I pay myself? How do I survive?

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These questions get scarier and more intense as they are listed out, but no matter how many there are, one thing remains: How would I go about following my passion?

“Follow your passion” is an oversimplified statement.

Despite all the fear and doubts, I’ve learned to believe in myself and take steps to start following my passions. I’ve started out slow; I still have a steady, full-time job. And I make sure the job I’m in allows me to use my right brain frequently.

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I’ve figured out the places I require compromise. I never accept a job in which I work weekends. I need that time to write and be creative. But it’s through figuring out that compromise that I’ve realized “follow your passion” is an oversimplified statement. We need to take a lot more consideration in choosing our career.

Following your passion doesn’t mean you need to be all-in.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals. Then I wanted to be a member of the Spice Girls because I loved to sing and I thought they had the coolest shoes. As time went on, I decided I would be a fashion designer and make all my own clothes.

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As I grew up, I grew out of this habit of changing my plans on a daily basis. I’m still passionate about singing, so I have a band. We perform on weekends, which is another reason why I won’t accept a full time career that would require me to work on Saturday and Sunday. I’m also passionate about writing which is why I have freelance work and write novels in my spare time. I can still do things I absolutely love without giving up a steady paycheck. And of course, the long-term goal would be to make those passions my main job.

Feel highly motivated when someone tells you to follow your passion? Wait, you should ask yourself these 7 questions first.

When I sing, people will tell me to audition for a reality singing contest. That’s very sweet of them, because I know it means they think I should be famous, but for now I’m so happy doing music the way I want to do it. And when I publish poetry or other writings, people ask why I don’t do it full time. For now, fear of the unknown sometimes holds me back. i.e. not knowing where my next paycheck would be coming from and when. These adjustments have worked for me, and it’s because I knew what questions to ask myself.

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  • When I think of what I’m passionate about, is it just one thing? If you’re like me, and passionate about many things, honor that! If you feel drawn to multiple talents or hobbies, don’t feel that you have to abandon one to pursue the other. Just because someone tells you “You should be an [insert passion-based career here], it doesn’t mean you should put yourself in a scary position and take a leap of faith any time soon.
  • Am I good enough to stand out from the crowd? Maybe you’re passionate about video game design. There are many people pursuing that very thing, but perhaps you have a natural ability to do something that it takes most people years of education to figure out. Don’t let yourself be talked out of a passion just because there is a lot of competition in the field. If someone tells you to pursue it, they obviously see your potential. Don’t be afraid to recognize it in yourself. And if you feel like you aren’t good enough yet, then how can you focus on improving your skills?
  • Can I really turn my passion into a career? This is the question you probably ask yourself every day. Yes, I love to sing, but if I tried out for a contest, would I lose? I love to write, but if I sent a book to be published, would they laugh at it? When it comes to something you’re passionate about, it takes hard work and dedication to turn it from a hobby into a career. For now, find ways to include your hobbies into your job. As a technical writer, I get to write for a living but still flex my right brain muscles when it comes to creating templates and general documentation. Perspective plays a big part!
  • Do I have thorough understanding of the industry related to my passion? Sometimes, the answer is going to be no. Even if you absolutely love the thing you’re passionate about, the industry that comes with it could require years of training and education. This should not automatically deter you from chasing after it. Make sure to weigh your options before taking that leap. If you don’t feel you know enough today, could you educate yourself tomorrow?
  • Can my passion be transformed in another form? When we are trying to make a career out of the thing we are passionate about, we usually develop a very narrow focus. When I was looking for a job, I knew I wanted to write. So I, of course, looked for jobs that boasted the word “writer.” I never imagined I would fall into a technical writer position, but it wound up being a great way to translate what I love into something I can make money doing. If you’re opinionated, you could be an advice columnist, a public speaker or a politician. Don’t put blinders on when it comes to your future.
  • Can I support myself if I turn my passion into my career? I know it probably seems like I’m harping on this point, but it’s about self-preservation. If you’re able to do something you love, that’s great! But is it paying the bills? Are you able to keep food on the table? Do you have the basic necessities covered and enough cash to go out with friends? It’s sad to think about focusing solely on financial success; it seems like compromising love for a paycheck, but it’s about being able to take care of yourself. So if you’re an artist, and you know you love to create, could you do web design? Maybe you could become a graphic designer. Sometimes creativity is required when it comes to merging passion and success.
  • If I had to do it every day for money, would it still be my passion? When I was in college, I started off as a voice major (singing) because it came with a scholarship. It sounds great, right? I love to sing and now I’m going to school for it, woohoo! But that wasn’t the case. When I was forced to do this thing, no matter how much I loved it, for grades and success, it became very depressing. After all, I wanted to sing classic rock, not Italian arias. I love playing shows now and making money, of course! But the fact remains: when you’re forced to do something, day after day, it suddenly loses its purity and becomes a controller.[1]

Let’s sum it all up.

What it comes down to is self-awareness. It’s key to know what moves you, what inspires you and what makes you want to wake up in the morning. But it’s also important to know when those people in your life, no matter how supportive, need to be ignored. “You should do this for a living!” and “Wow, you are so good at this! Why aren’t you making money?” are rooted in respect and gratitude, but only you know when to pursue something you love and therefore allow it to define who you are. It’s not a bad thing to let a talent remain a hobby. And it’s also not a bad thing to let a hobby become a profession. But know where to draw the line and how to stay happy.

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Heather Poole

Heather shares about everyday lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

There Are 7 Types of Learners: Which One Are You? What If All the Choices You Make Every Day Aren’t What You Need Most? What To Eat (And Not To Eat) When You Are Suffering From Inflammation! Yes Life Can Be Boring Sometimes. But There’re Some Tricks to Make It More Interesting Why Our Personal Values Matter More Than Ever Today

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Last Updated on August 20, 2019

26 Useful Things to Learn Now That Will Change Your Life

26 Useful Things to Learn Now That Will Change Your Life

If you pay attention to your everyday life careful enough, you’ll know that you can learn from everything and everyone you come across. Our life is basically full of useful lessons that we should learn.

Here are 26 useful things to learn that Abhishek A. Singh shared on Quora. Let’s see how these life theories would lead you to live a different life.

1. Primacy and recency: People mostly remember the first and last things that occurred, barely the middle.

When scheduling an interview, ask the employer the time slots they do interviews and try to be the first or the last.

2. If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind, put a mirror behind you at the counter.

In this way, angry customers who approach you will have to see themselves in the mirror behind you and the chance of them behaving irrationally will be lowered significantly.

3. Once you make a sales pitch, don’t say anything else.

This works in sales, but it can also be applied in other ways.

My previous boss was training me and just gave me pointers. I was working at a gym trying to sell memberships. He told me that once I got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, the first person to talk would lose.

It didn’t seem like a big deal but it actually worked. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the person tried to come up with some excuses, but usually they bought.

4. If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, just wait.

If you stay silent and keep eye contact, they will usually continue to talk.

5. Chew gum when you’re approaching a situation that would make you nervous, like public speaking or bungee jumping.

When we eat, our brain tell ourselves, “I would not be eating if I were danger. So I’m not in danger.” This has helped me to stay calm.

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6. People will always remember how you made them feel, not what you said.

Also, most people like talking about themselves; so ask lots of questions about them.

7. When you’re learning something new, teach it to a friend. Let them ask you questions about it.

If you’re able to teach something well, you will be sure that you’ve understood it very well.

8. If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you.

It doesn’t always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen the next time.

9. The physical effects of stress — breathing rate and heart rate — are almost identical to the physical effects of courage.

When you’re feeling stressed in any situations, immediately reframe it : Your body is getting ready to be courageous, you are NOT stressed.

10. Pay attention to people’s feet.

If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation, and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don’t want you to join in the conversation.

Similarly, if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end.

11. Confidence is more important than knowledge.

Don’t be intimidated by anyone, everyone is playing a role and wearing a mask.

12. If you pretend to be something for long enough, you will eventually become it.

Fake it till you make it. Period.

13. Not to be creepy, but if you want to stare at someone unashamedly, look directly past them and wait for them to try and meet your eyes.

When they fail to do that, they’ll look around (usually nervously for a second) they won’t look at you again for some time. This is your chance to straight up stare at this person for at least 45 seconds.

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And as suggested by Brian Stutzman:

If you’re staring at someone and get caught, DON’T turn your head or your body to look away, because that just confirms that you were staring.

Just move your EYEBALLS off the person. Unlike turning your head, it’s instantaneous. And the person will think you were just looking at something behind them and that they were mistaken for thinking you were staring. Do it confidently, and ignore any reaction from the person, and you can sell it every single time.

After a second, you can even look back at them with a “Why are you staring at me?” look on your face to really cement the deal!

14. Build a network.

Become the information source, and let the information be yours. Even grabbing a beer with a former colleague once a year will keep you in the loop at the old office.

Former coworkers might have gotten a new position in that office you always wanted to work in, great! Go to them for a beer, and ask about the office. It’s all about connections and information.

15. If you are angry at the person in front of you driving like a grandmother…

Pretend it is your grandmother, it will significantly reduce your road rage.

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    16. Stand up straight.

    No slouching, hands out of pockets, and head held up high. It’s not just a cliche — you literally feel better and people around you feel more confident in you.

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    17. Avoid saying “I think,” and “I believe” unless absolutely necessary.

    These are phrases that do not evoke confidence, and will literally do you no good.

    18. When feeling anxious, clean up your home or work space.

    You will feel happier and more accomplished than before.

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      19. Always buy the first pitcher or round of drinks.

      You’d be surprised how long you could drink on the phrase “I bought the first one.”

      20. Going into an interview… be interested in your interviewers.

      If you focus on learning about them, you’ll seem to be more interesting and dynamic. (Again, people love to talk about themselves.)

      21. Pay attention parents! Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control.

      For instance, when I want my son to put his shoes on I will say ,”do you want to put your star wars shoes on or your shark shoes on?”

      Pro-tip: In some cases, this works on adults.

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        22. Your action affects your attitude more than your attitude affects your action.

        As my former teacher said “You can jump and dance FOR joy, but you can also jump and dance yourself joyful.”

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        23. When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.

        Notice who you look at and who look at you when you laugh with a group of people!

        24. If you want to build rapport or gain someone’s trust quickly, match their body posture and position.

        If someone is sitting with her legs crossed, cross your legs. If they’re leaning away from you, lean away from them. If they’re leaning towards you, lean towards them.

        Mirroring and matching body position is a subconscious way to tell if someone trusts you or is comfortable with you. If you’re sitting with your arms crossed and you notice someone else is sitting with her arms crossed, that is a good indicator that you have/are successfully built/building rapport with that person.

        25. The Benjamin Franklin Effect (suggested by Matt Miller)

        I find the basis of the Benjamin Franklin effect is very useful and extends far beyond pencil borrowing. This knowledge is useful in the world of flirting too.

        Asking a girl in your class if you can borrow a pencil or her notes or to explain the homework will make her more likely to like you than if you let her borrow your stuff or are the one to help her. Even just asking a girl to buy you drinks (facetiously) leaves a much bigger impression than offering to or actually buying a girl a drink.

        The best part is it kills 3 birds with one stone: you get the advantages of the favor itself, the person subconsciously likes you more, and it makes them more open to future favors and conversation.

        26. Handle panic and anxiety behaviors by tapping fingers (Suggested by Jade Barbee)

        When you’re feeling stressed, worried or angry, tap each finger tip while thinking (or speaking quietly) a few specific words about what is bothering you. Repeat the same words while tapping each of your 10 fingers, including thumbs.

        For example, tap while saying, “I’m so angry with her…” Doing so will likely take the charge out of the feeling and return you to a more resourceful (better feeling) state of being. It’s called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or “tapping,” and it is useful in many life situations – emotional sadness, physical pain, food cravings, traumatic memories…

        Featured photo credit: Nicole Wolf via unsplash.com

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