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Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Most people at some point in their life have a difficult time trying to explain themselves, their thoughts, beliefs, goals or actions to others who just couldn’t understand. This usually leads to frustration and self-doubt since that individual can feel like he or she is fighting against the world. You have probably felt like this at some point or you are going through this right now.

For example, if you are young, you may feel misunderstood by your parents, teachers, and even some peers when it comes to choosing your profession. If you want to make the right decision by following your heart and your true passion even though it may be a bit more challenging at the beginning, and your parents want you to have a secure, decent job, with decent salary, you may feel stuck between your goals and fear inflicted upon you by your parents.

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Facing great opposition usually means you are doing something worthwhile

Although having many people that don’t approve of your business idea, for example, can be quite discouraging at times, you should take a step back and look at the problem from a different perspective. Firstly, you need to understand their reasons. If your parents don’t agree with your plans, this doesn’t at all mean they wish you to fail so that they would have the satisfaction of saying: “I told you so!” In fact, the problem, like so many others, has to do with the issue of false beliefs and comfort zones. Most people, unfortunately, have believed that new and exciting things are by default risky and wrong. Therefore, most of them would much rather choose to sacrifice their dreams and freedom for the sake of false security.

Great majority would much rather settle for far less than they want as long as it doesn’t require them to step outside their comfort zone. It’s no wonder, therefore, that there are far more apparently average people in the world than there are the dreamers, leaders, artists, innovators and successful business owners. The opposition you are facing when expressing your goals comes from that learned uniform thinking that implies that you should settle, be realistic, and be content with less.

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You are the only person you should never let down

The way to truly deal with others and their understanding of you, is to shift your focus entirely on yourself. You cannot explain yourself or your goals to others clearly enough if you can’t figure them out yourself. Once you take the time to work on yourself and understand what makes you happy, your journey to fulfilling your goals will become much easier and others will get a much clearer picture of it.

In order to truly work on yourself, you need to stop trying to prove anything to anyone. Making yourself happy should be the sole reason for any action that you take. This can take some time for you to master until you become so focused on yourself that you don’t have any time left to think of others’ opinion.

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If you want to get to know yourself a little bit better, take the time every day to do some of the following actions that can speed up the process of self-discovery.

Meditate

Even though a lot has been said about the benefits of 15-minute meditation, they simply can’t be stressed enough. In this particular case, practicing meditation will help you block the noise and clear your mind enough so that you can discover your true calling. It will become much easier for you to make a distinction between the things that make you happy and the things you’ve let others convince you, make you happy.

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Write

By keeping a journal or a personal blog, you get a much better sense of your thoughts, passions, and daily struggles. In this way, you get a more clear understanding of who you really are, what drives you, and what you should avoid.

Reflect

Last, but not least, you should take different situations, (in this case work or school related) and remember the way you felt during those. By doing this often, you will learn about

  • your preferable work environment,
  • types of people you like to work with
  • your peak productivity hours
  • your motivation triggers

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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