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Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Most people at some point in their life have a difficult time trying to explain themselves, their thoughts, beliefs, goals or actions to others who just couldn’t understand. This usually leads to frustration and self-doubt since that individual can feel like he or she is fighting against the world. You have probably felt like this at some point or you are going through this right now.

For example, if you are young, you may feel misunderstood by your parents, teachers, and even some peers when it comes to choosing your profession. If you want to make the right decision by following your heart and your true passion even though it may be a bit more challenging at the beginning, and your parents want you to have a secure, decent job, with decent salary, you may feel stuck between your goals and fear inflicted upon you by your parents.

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Facing great opposition usually means you are doing something worthwhile

Although having many people that don’t approve of your business idea, for example, can be quite discouraging at times, you should take a step back and look at the problem from a different perspective. Firstly, you need to understand their reasons. If your parents don’t agree with your plans, this doesn’t at all mean they wish you to fail so that they would have the satisfaction of saying: “I told you so!” In fact, the problem, like so many others, has to do with the issue of false beliefs and comfort zones. Most people, unfortunately, have believed that new and exciting things are by default risky and wrong. Therefore, most of them would much rather choose to sacrifice their dreams and freedom for the sake of false security.

Great majority would much rather settle for far less than they want as long as it doesn’t require them to step outside their comfort zone. It’s no wonder, therefore, that there are far more apparently average people in the world than there are the dreamers, leaders, artists, innovators and successful business owners. The opposition you are facing when expressing your goals comes from that learned uniform thinking that implies that you should settle, be realistic, and be content with less.

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You are the only person you should never let down

The way to truly deal with others and their understanding of you, is to shift your focus entirely on yourself. You cannot explain yourself or your goals to others clearly enough if you can’t figure them out yourself. Once you take the time to work on yourself and understand what makes you happy, your journey to fulfilling your goals will become much easier and others will get a much clearer picture of it.

In order to truly work on yourself, you need to stop trying to prove anything to anyone. Making yourself happy should be the sole reason for any action that you take. This can take some time for you to master until you become so focused on yourself that you don’t have any time left to think of others’ opinion.

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If you want to get to know yourself a little bit better, take the time every day to do some of the following actions that can speed up the process of self-discovery.

Meditate

Even though a lot has been said about the benefits of 15-minute meditation, they simply can’t be stressed enough. In this particular case, practicing meditation will help you block the noise and clear your mind enough so that you can discover your true calling. It will become much easier for you to make a distinction between the things that make you happy and the things you’ve let others convince you, make you happy.

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Write

By keeping a journal or a personal blog, you get a much better sense of your thoughts, passions, and daily struggles. In this way, you get a more clear understanding of who you really are, what drives you, and what you should avoid.

Reflect

Last, but not least, you should take different situations, (in this case work or school related) and remember the way you felt during those. By doing this often, you will learn about

  • your preferable work environment,
  • types of people you like to work with
  • your peak productivity hours
  • your motivation triggers

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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