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Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Most people at some point in their life have a difficult time trying to explain themselves, their thoughts, beliefs, goals or actions to others who just couldn’t understand. This usually leads to frustration and self-doubt since that individual can feel like he or she is fighting against the world. You have probably felt like this at some point or you are going through this right now.

For example, if you are young, you may feel misunderstood by your parents, teachers, and even some peers when it comes to choosing your profession. If you want to make the right decision by following your heart and your true passion even though it may be a bit more challenging at the beginning, and your parents want you to have a secure, decent job, with decent salary, you may feel stuck between your goals and fear inflicted upon you by your parents.

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Facing great opposition usually means you are doing something worthwhile

Although having many people that don’t approve of your business idea, for example, can be quite discouraging at times, you should take a step back and look at the problem from a different perspective. Firstly, you need to understand their reasons. If your parents don’t agree with your plans, this doesn’t at all mean they wish you to fail so that they would have the satisfaction of saying: “I told you so!” In fact, the problem, like so many others, has to do with the issue of false beliefs and comfort zones. Most people, unfortunately, have believed that new and exciting things are by default risky and wrong. Therefore, most of them would much rather choose to sacrifice their dreams and freedom for the sake of false security.

Great majority would much rather settle for far less than they want as long as it doesn’t require them to step outside their comfort zone. It’s no wonder, therefore, that there are far more apparently average people in the world than there are the dreamers, leaders, artists, innovators and successful business owners. The opposition you are facing when expressing your goals comes from that learned uniform thinking that implies that you should settle, be realistic, and be content with less.

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You are the only person you should never let down

The way to truly deal with others and their understanding of you, is to shift your focus entirely on yourself. You cannot explain yourself or your goals to others clearly enough if you can’t figure them out yourself. Once you take the time to work on yourself and understand what makes you happy, your journey to fulfilling your goals will become much easier and others will get a much clearer picture of it.

In order to truly work on yourself, you need to stop trying to prove anything to anyone. Making yourself happy should be the sole reason for any action that you take. This can take some time for you to master until you become so focused on yourself that you don’t have any time left to think of others’ opinion.

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If you want to get to know yourself a little bit better, take the time every day to do some of the following actions that can speed up the process of self-discovery.

Meditate

Even though a lot has been said about the benefits of 15-minute meditation, they simply can’t be stressed enough. In this particular case, practicing meditation will help you block the noise and clear your mind enough so that you can discover your true calling. It will become much easier for you to make a distinction between the things that make you happy and the things you’ve let others convince you, make you happy.

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Write

By keeping a journal or a personal blog, you get a much better sense of your thoughts, passions, and daily struggles. In this way, you get a more clear understanding of who you really are, what drives you, and what you should avoid.

Reflect

Last, but not least, you should take different situations, (in this case work or school related) and remember the way you felt during those. By doing this often, you will learn about

  • your preferable work environment,
  • types of people you like to work with
  • your peak productivity hours
  • your motivation triggers

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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