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Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Instead Of Asking Others To Understand You, It’s More Worthwhile To Understand Yourself

Most people at some point in their life have a difficult time trying to explain themselves, their thoughts, beliefs, goals or actions to others who just couldn’t understand. This usually leads to frustration and self-doubt since that individual can feel like he or she is fighting against the world. You have probably felt like this at some point or you are going through this right now.

For example, if you are young, you may feel misunderstood by your parents, teachers, and even some peers when it comes to choosing your profession. If you want to make the right decision by following your heart and your true passion even though it may be a bit more challenging at the beginning, and your parents want you to have a secure, decent job, with decent salary, you may feel stuck between your goals and fear inflicted upon you by your parents.

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Facing great opposition usually means you are doing something worthwhile

Although having many people that don’t approve of your business idea, for example, can be quite discouraging at times, you should take a step back and look at the problem from a different perspective. Firstly, you need to understand their reasons. If your parents don’t agree with your plans, this doesn’t at all mean they wish you to fail so that they would have the satisfaction of saying: “I told you so!” In fact, the problem, like so many others, has to do with the issue of false beliefs and comfort zones. Most people, unfortunately, have believed that new and exciting things are by default risky and wrong. Therefore, most of them would much rather choose to sacrifice their dreams and freedom for the sake of false security.

Great majority would much rather settle for far less than they want as long as it doesn’t require them to step outside their comfort zone. It’s no wonder, therefore, that there are far more apparently average people in the world than there are the dreamers, leaders, artists, innovators and successful business owners. The opposition you are facing when expressing your goals comes from that learned uniform thinking that implies that you should settle, be realistic, and be content with less.

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You are the only person you should never let down

The way to truly deal with others and their understanding of you, is to shift your focus entirely on yourself. You cannot explain yourself or your goals to others clearly enough if you can’t figure them out yourself. Once you take the time to work on yourself and understand what makes you happy, your journey to fulfilling your goals will become much easier and others will get a much clearer picture of it.

In order to truly work on yourself, you need to stop trying to prove anything to anyone. Making yourself happy should be the sole reason for any action that you take. This can take some time for you to master until you become so focused on yourself that you don’t have any time left to think of others’ opinion.

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If you want to get to know yourself a little bit better, take the time every day to do some of the following actions that can speed up the process of self-discovery.

Meditate

Even though a lot has been said about the benefits of 15-minute meditation, they simply can’t be stressed enough. In this particular case, practicing meditation will help you block the noise and clear your mind enough so that you can discover your true calling. It will become much easier for you to make a distinction between the things that make you happy and the things you’ve let others convince you, make you happy.

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Write

By keeping a journal or a personal blog, you get a much better sense of your thoughts, passions, and daily struggles. In this way, you get a more clear understanding of who you really are, what drives you, and what you should avoid.

Reflect

Last, but not least, you should take different situations, (in this case work or school related) and remember the way you felt during those. By doing this often, you will learn about

  • your preferable work environment,
  • types of people you like to work with
  • your peak productivity hours
  • your motivation triggers

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on July 13, 2020

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive

It’s common to be struck with a bout of pessimism, or to naturally be more towards the pessimistic end of the perspective spectrum. It’s hard to see the positives in life and become an optimist when you’re lost in the murky waters of negative thinking.

However, Henrik Edberg, the founder of The Positivity Blog is here to share nine ways we can create a more optimistic outlook and positive perspective:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

When I was younger — in my teens and early 20s — I was trapped. Not physically, but mentally: by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. This negative thinking poisoned what might have been a pretty good and opportunity-filled childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. This pessimism created ceilings and walls where there really were none.

Throughout the period when I was ridden by pessimism, my life and I mostly stood still. Looking back, it was a terrible waste. If you are in pessimistic place, you don’t have to stay there for the rest of your life. I didn’t, for I learned to replace my negative thinking with optimism.

In this article I’ll explore nine positivity habits that have helped me to go from someone who was pessimistic most of the time to someone who is now optimistic almost all the time. I recommend to not try to add all the habits at one go but to choose one habit and to practice it for 30 days so it becomes a habit, before adding the next.

1. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

This is the simplest but perhaps also the most important habit I have discovered in adopting an optimistic mindset. The questions we ask ourselves day in and day out when we wind up in negative, difficult or uncertain situations make all the difference in our life.

A pessimist might ask him/herself questions like:

  • “Why did this happen to me?”
  • “Why do bad things happen to me all the time?”

But an optimist asks him/herself the questions that open up the mind to new viewpoints and possibilities. A few of my favorite questions for finding the optimistic perspective are:

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  • “What is one good thing about this situation?”
  • “What can I learn from this situation?”
  • “What is one small step I can take today to start solving this situation?”

2. Create a Positive Environment to Live In

The people you spend your time with and the information you let influence your mind will have a huge effect on your attitude and how you think about things.

Watch this YouTube video and learn the power of a positive environment:

So choose to:

  • Spend more time with the people who lift you up. And less time – or no time – with people who just bring you down by being negative and critical. Read: You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With
  • Let in the information that supports you. Spend less time on negative and self-esteem damaging media sources and spend more time reading positive and constructive blogs and books, watching motivating movies, listening to inspirational songs, and listening to audio books and podcasts created by optimistic people. Check out 12 Inspirational Movies With Important Life Lessons To Learn and 25 Most Inspirational Songs of All Time.

3. Be Grateful for What You Have (Don’t Forget About Yourself Too)

A very simple and quick way to boost the positive energy in your life is to tap into gratitude.

I usually do it by asking one or more of these questions:

  1. What can I be grateful for in my life today?
  2. Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?
  3. What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

Just spend 60 seconds or a few minutes during your day with answering one of these questions to reap the wonderful benefits.

4. Don’t Forget About Your Physical Self

Being an optimist isn’t just about thinking in a different way. It is also about caring for the physical part of ourselves.

I have found that working out a couple of times a week, enough quality sleep each night and eating healthy food has a huge effect on my mindset.

If I mismanage those very basic things then negative thoughts pop up far more often and I become more pessimistic and shut down about the possibilities in my life.

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So don’t neglect these basic fundamentals. Just caring for your physical self the right way can minimize a whole bunch of problems in life.

5. Start Your Day in an Optimistic Way

The way you start your morning can set the tone for the rest of your day. For example, a stress-free morning often leads to less stress during the rest of the day.

So how can you set an optimistic tone for your day?

A three-step combination that has worked very well for me is to ask myself a gratitude question during breakfast, read some positive information online or in a book very early in the morning and then follow that up with exercising.

This sets my mind on the right path and fills me up with energy for my day.

6. Focus on Solutions

A sure way to feel more negative about a situation is to sit around and do nothing about it. Instead, use the questions I shared in step one and open up your mind to the possibilities of the situation you are in.

If you have trouble to get started with taking action, ask yourself:

What is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling?

Then take that small step forward. However small this step is, it can have a big effect in your mood and thoughts. If the step feels too big or it just makes you procrastinate, then ask yourself:

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What is an even smaller step I can take to move forward today?

The most important thing is to move forward, even if it’s a tiny baby step.

7. Reduce Your Worries

The worrying habit is a powerful and destructive one and can take over anyone’s thinking. It used to be one of my biggest obstacles to optimism and to moving forward in life.

Two effective steps that have helped me and still help me to this day to minimize the worries are:

  1. Ask yourself: how many of my worries ever happened in reality? If you are like me you will find that the answer is: very few. Most of the things you fear throughout your life will never happen. They are just nightmares or monsters in your own mind. This question can help you to do a reality check, to calm down and to realize that you have most likely just been building another imaginary nightmare.
  2. Focus on solutions and the action you can take. The worries grow stronger in a foggy mind and an inactive body. So use the questions in Steps 1 and 6 to move out of your worries and into resolution.

8. Don’t Let Ideals Ruin Things

A common mistake people make when making a shift in their attitudes is that they think that they have be perfect and do things perfectly all the time. This traps them from being positive.

Changing to a positive attitude can be gradual. While you may slip and stumble, continuing this way over time will strengthen your positive viewpoint more and more.

But if you set an inhuman standard for yourself and think you have to go from being a pessimist to always being an optimist, then you may find it hard to live up to that. And so you may feel like a failure. You get angry with yourself. And you may even give up on changing this habit and fall back into negative thinking.

So instead, focus on gradual change. If you are optimistic 40% of the time right now, try to improve this to being optimistic 60% of the time. Then, increase that to 80% when you are used to the new standard, then subsequently 100% if you can.

This focus on gradual improvement is far more sustainable and likely to bring long-term success than trying to reach an inhuman standard grounded in perfection.

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9. Finally, a Reminder to Help You to Not Give Up

I would like to end this article with a simple but powerful and timeless thought that comforted and encouraged me to continue on when things looked bleak.

That thought is: It is always darkest before the dawn.

This thought has helped me to hold on and keep going when my social skills and dating life was just plain bad. It has helped me to continue on in my online business when things looked like they would never pick up. It has helped me to put one foot over another even when things looked dark.

I have found this thought to be very true. Why? Because when things seemed to be at the lowest for my blog, business, dating life or life in general, something positive would always happened. That’s probably because being at a low point forced me to change how I did things.

But maybe also because life has a way of evening itself out when I go on. By taking action rather than give up, something good will always happens.

Seeing this thought live itself out has strengthened my belief in staying optimistic, in taking action and to keep going even when going through rough patches.

Re-syndicated 9 Simple Habits to Stay Positive in Life | Personal Excellence

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Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

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