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Others May Doubt You, But You Always Have To Believe In Yourself

Others May Doubt You, But You Always Have To Believe In Yourself

You have a clear vision of what your dream job is and what you want to do in your life. You feel exhilarated and you are looking forward to getting up every day and going to work knowing it will be a joyful experience. But you get a slap in the face when your parents, your close family, and everyone who deems themselves as more experienced than you start questioning your choices and doubting your abilities. They will try to persuade you to give up on silly dreams and find a “real life” job that will put food on the table. Nobody can live off their dreams, right?

Don’t let anyone convince you that you can’t be happy with the choices you make.

It’s a very common situation for our parents, and other people from the older generations, to doubt our choices when it comes to important decisions in life. They feel they know more since they’ve been here longer than we have. And they feel it’s their right to question our choices and to lead us to what they think is the right path.

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When loved ones don’t show us support in realizing our dreams, we can get depressed and start questioning what is right. “It’s really foolish of me thinking that I can be well off doing that job,” you might start thinking. Never let anyone instill a seed of doubt into your mind – we are all different, and nobody knows what’s best for you except yourself. You should be very aware of what you can achieve and confident in moving towards that goal. Don’t be afraid of failure, it can be the source of the most valuable lessons we get in life. When that happens, look on the bright side and just ignore comments like “We told you so.”

We are all good at something, you just need to find the passion that drives you

Sometimes family and loved ones think they know what career choices are the best for us and they want to impose their opinions on us. They have the best intentions, but when we disagree with their suggestions, they immediately express a fear that we won’t do well in life.

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The reality is if you take their advice, you’ll end up miserable. Success comes because you feel passionate about what you do. That is the key – you need to find something you feel passionate about and keep going forward even if it seems you are going against the world. Your passion will motivate you, and you will be able to shut down all those voices telling you that you’re wrong. You shouldn’t worry about what people around you will think about your career choice. If it makes you happy, that’s all that matters. And that’s all it takes to become good at something.

Believe in yourself. What people say to you speaks more about them than you

If someone keeps criticizing you, you should stop for a moment and consider what it really means. It doesn’t have anything to do with you – it has to do with their own fears and insecurities. Maybe they wanted something different in life but they were too afraid to see it through and now they see you on your way to pursuing happiness. They want to bring you back to earth desperately either because they think you’ll suffer like them if you fail to realize your dreams or because they are jealous since you have the courage to do something they couldn’t. Either way, just be aware that it doesn’t say anything about you and don’t let it affect your confidence.

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Shutting the voices around you, and the voices inside your head, that tell you “you are not good enough” is the key to happiness and success. You are worth it and you can do it. Embrace all the ups and downs as the part of your journey, believe in yourself, and never let anyone get into your head to drive you away from your path.

Featured photo credit: Tim Marshall via unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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