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You Don’t Have To Be In A Relationship To Be Happy, You Just Need To Understand Yourself

You Don’t Have To Be In A Relationship To Be Happy, You Just Need To Understand Yourself

Your life feels incomplete, so what’s the first thing that you do? You start looking for your perfect match, the person who can fill that big hole in your heart and change your life forever. You may feel like each relationship you try is a dead-end. There’s something dissatisfying about each of them, but you can’t give up. You’re afraid of being on your own because you’re afraid that you’re incapable of being happy on your own. In reality, being alone and learning to strengthen your relationship with yourself can be rewarding and liberating and will help you find true and lasting happiness.

What Feeling Alone Really Means

Feeling alone isn’t always synonymous with being alone. Most of us have experienced the feeling of loneliness when we’re with family, friends, or even a partner. On the flip side, sometimes we’ve felt content and connected when we were on our own. You’ve probably felt an aching sense of loneliness at the most unlikely times and wondered, how could I feel this way? The answer? You may not feel understood or loved by the people around you at that moment. You feel like they aren’t giving you something you need.

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Here’s the punchline: they may have nothing to do with it! Your loneliness may be stemming from your lack of love and understanding for yourself.

How Learning to Be Alone Can Enrich Your Relationships

Solitude is a powerful tool that can strengthen you and your relationship with others.[1] People often underestimate its value. Because of suburban living, there are many who experience solitude very rarely and to whom the idea of being alone for a long period of time is a foreign concept. In most relationships, one or both of the people involved feels like they need to get their sense of identity from the other and that their partner is responsible for making sure they don’t feel alone. This is unrealistic and unreasonable.

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The best relationships are formed between people who are totally comfortable and happy by themselves, but who choose to be with someone else because they love them. By learning to be alone, you can become more whole as a person, making every aspect of your life, including any relationships, indescribably better.

Learning to Understand Yourself

You may be thinking that all of this is easier said than done. That’s understandable. We all have a certain amount of programming and bad habits in our brains that can sometimes make change difficult. But we are nothing if not flexible. There are several things you can start doing right now that will help you to understand yourself and maybe even enjoy your own company.

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  • Go on quiet walks on your own in nature. Nature puts us in tune with our mind and body and relieves depression.[2] Enjoying nature for a little while every day can help you feel more content in being alone with yourself.
  • Journal. Don’t worry about whether or not you’re a good writer. In fact, don’t worry about what you’re writing about at all. Use the “stream of consciousness” technique.[3] Journaling can be a great way to vent and relieve tension and can help you reach a better understanding of your own mind. You needn’t devote much time to this activity unless it feels right. Five to ten minutes should suffice.
  • Use art of any kind. Whether it’s music, painting, or just coloring, art is an invaluable tool to help you connect with your deeper self in a more meaningful level. Many people use coloring to put their mind into a meditative or calm state when traditional meditation doesn’t work for them.
  • Meditate. Meditating is probably one of the most tried and true methods to help you gain a deeper understanding and love for yourself. Just remember if it’s your first time, not to be discouraged if you can’t completely relax into a meditation.[4]

The key to a happy life isn’t a happy relationship. The trick is to realize that you’re beautiful, wonderful, and whole all by yourself. Take some time to get to know the wonderful being that is you. The only side effects are increased happiness and health!

Featured photo credit: Karen Warfel via pixabay.com

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

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