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You Don’t Have To Be In A Relationship To Be Happy, You Just Need To Understand Yourself

You Don’t Have To Be In A Relationship To Be Happy, You Just Need To Understand Yourself

Your life feels incomplete, so what’s the first thing that you do? You start looking for your perfect match, the person who can fill that big hole in your heart and change your life forever. You may feel like each relationship you try is a dead-end. There’s something dissatisfying about each of them, but you can’t give up. You’re afraid of being on your own because you’re afraid that you’re incapable of being happy on your own. In reality, being alone and learning to strengthen your relationship with yourself can be rewarding and liberating and will help you find true and lasting happiness.

What Feeling Alone Really Means

Feeling alone isn’t always synonymous with being alone. Most of us have experienced the feeling of loneliness when we’re with family, friends, or even a partner. On the flip side, sometimes we’ve felt content and connected when we were on our own. You’ve probably felt an aching sense of loneliness at the most unlikely times and wondered, how could I feel this way? The answer? You may not feel understood or loved by the people around you at that moment. You feel like they aren’t giving you something you need.

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Here’s the punchline: they may have nothing to do with it! Your loneliness may be stemming from your lack of love and understanding for yourself.

How Learning to Be Alone Can Enrich Your Relationships

Solitude is a powerful tool that can strengthen you and your relationship with others.[1] People often underestimate its value. Because of suburban living, there are many who experience solitude very rarely and to whom the idea of being alone for a long period of time is a foreign concept. In most relationships, one or both of the people involved feels like they need to get their sense of identity from the other and that their partner is responsible for making sure they don’t feel alone. This is unrealistic and unreasonable.

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The best relationships are formed between people who are totally comfortable and happy by themselves, but who choose to be with someone else because they love them. By learning to be alone, you can become more whole as a person, making every aspect of your life, including any relationships, indescribably better.

Learning to Understand Yourself

You may be thinking that all of this is easier said than done. That’s understandable. We all have a certain amount of programming and bad habits in our brains that can sometimes make change difficult. But we are nothing if not flexible. There are several things you can start doing right now that will help you to understand yourself and maybe even enjoy your own company.

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  • Go on quiet walks on your own in nature. Nature puts us in tune with our mind and body and relieves depression.[2] Enjoying nature for a little while every day can help you feel more content in being alone with yourself.
  • Journal. Don’t worry about whether or not you’re a good writer. In fact, don’t worry about what you’re writing about at all. Use the “stream of consciousness” technique.[3] Journaling can be a great way to vent and relieve tension and can help you reach a better understanding of your own mind. You needn’t devote much time to this activity unless it feels right. Five to ten minutes should suffice.
  • Use art of any kind. Whether it’s music, painting, or just coloring, art is an invaluable tool to help you connect with your deeper self in a more meaningful level. Many people use coloring to put their mind into a meditative or calm state when traditional meditation doesn’t work for them.
  • Meditate. Meditating is probably one of the most tried and true methods to help you gain a deeper understanding and love for yourself. Just remember if it’s your first time, not to be discouraged if you can’t completely relax into a meditation.[4]

The key to a happy life isn’t a happy relationship. The trick is to realize that you’re beautiful, wonderful, and whole all by yourself. Take some time to get to know the wonderful being that is you. The only side effects are increased happiness and health!

Featured photo credit: Karen Warfel via pixabay.com

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Reference

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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