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Sexual Abuse – What to Know and What to Do

Sexual Abuse – What to Know and What to Do
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I am a mother of six, educator, mentor to Au Pairs and Host Families with Go Au Pair and adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Did you know that all states require caregivers to report suspected child sexual abuse. Caregivers, babysitters, nannies and even teachers are the first line of defense to protect our children. Careful screening of those in contact with our kids is step one. Education is step two to address this age-old problem, not just for adults who care for kids but the kids themselves. Lives are literally on the line.

Nobody wants to tell their kids that someone they know might try to touch them in a way that is inappropriate. It’s terrifying. More importantly, kids need to know they can talk to parents, caregivers and trusted adults, about whatever is going on in their lives. Kids need to understand that no adult has any good reason to see, touch or show any private parts unless it is a parent or pediatrician checking out a problem area.

What should adults say to kids?

Talk honestly with young children but do not scare them with graphic language or details.

Make sure kids know their body is private and sacred. No person has the right to touch or make another person feel uncomfortable. Kids should know it is okay to say no to an adult and seek out a safe adult and safe place if they ever feel uncomfortable with an adult, even if it’s someone they know.

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Keep honest and open lines of communication with your kids, or kids in your care, so they know they can talk to you about any topic without judgment.

What should adults watch for in other adults?

Adults who show too much interest in kids or who always seem to be interacting with kids may warrant attention, particularly if that adult is ever alone with children.

If kids need to be left alone with an adult, take steps to ensure a door is left open or have the adult work with more than one student or be within hearing or vision of another adult. (Rule of Three)

If an adult seeks the “help” of children with the exclusion of other adults, this may be a red flag. Abusers often build trust in their victim before ever doing anything abusive. This does not mean we should watch out for every adult our kids trust, just be aware.

What should adults watch for in kids?

Kids who are at risk for abuse may not stand out from their peers, but abusers can spot them. Potential victims are children who may want or enjoy individual attention, have family problems or issues at home, or are in a “special” trust-relationship with any adult (such as teacher, parent, caregiver).

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Behavioral characteristics:

Abused children will almost always show behavioral signs that an astute adult can pick up. Always be aware of any change in normal behavior, like a drop in grades, lack of interest in normally fun activities, lack of interaction at home and school, and particularly any hesitation, fear or refusal to go or stay with someone who would normally be a trusted adult.

This should warrant a conversation about what is going on and an opening up of the lines of communication. Always be willing to listen to your child when they tell you they don’t want to stay with someone. As a child of abuse myself, I can clearly remember asking to go on errands and not be left alone with my abuser, a step-parent and trusted adult in my life.

Physical characteristics:

There may be actual physical signs of sexual abuse, such as lost or soiled underwear, unexplained bleeding and unexplained or repeated urinary tract or yeast infections, particularly in a pre-teen child. Any signs of these should be further investigated. A trip to the pediatrician, who can also be a trusted adult, may help clear up what is going on.

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What if you suspect abuse?

Action is step three.

Never ignore your gut feeling or worse, ignore something you see or hear that is inappropriate contact between an adult and a child. If sexual abuse is suspected, you may be required by law to report it to the police or child welfare authorities.

Any person who is in the position of caregiver to a child suspected of being abused is required to report it, by law in all 50 states. You might begin with a discussion with the child to determine if he or she will disclose any abuse or not. Children will often deny the abuse for many different reasons, but if enough suspicion is there, it’s best to have the child checked by your pediatrician, who will be able to determine to at least some degree if there has been sexual abuse.

What if a child discloses abuse?

Call the police and make sure the child is safe. If a child discloses abuse, he or she should receive counseling and support for the short and long term, ensuring the child can recover both physically and emotionally from this devastating childhood trauma. There is no reason to avoid calling the police, even if the child does not want to press charges.

The police will conduct an investigation to determine if charges will be brought, but there is no good reason to keep suspected abuse to yourself. When confronted, many abusers may say it only happened once or will never happen again, but statistics have proven this to be mostly untrue.

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An abused child needs to be loved and supported, no matter what he or she says about the abuse or the abuser, as there may be a myriad of emotional issues to face down the road, including healthy relationships and sexual enjoyment.

Parents of abused children may need to attend support groups or counseling to deal with their own emotional reactions and to discover ways to provide the help their child will need. Seek the help of your family doctor, pediatrician, local church or therapist to guide you and your family to positive healing and the ability to move forward.

Featured photo credit: Shutterstock via pixabay.com

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Published on July 22, 2021

20 Healthy and Tasty Family Meals Ideas to Try This Week

20 Healthy and Tasty Family Meals Ideas to Try This Week
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It’s 5 p.m., and you’re exhausted. The kids are hungry, but no one knows what they want to eat for dinner. With very little energy, you force yourself into the kitchen and look through every cabinet, hoping for a spark of inspiration. Eventually, you toss a few ingredients together and hope for the best. It won’t win any prizes and falls short of what you consider “healthy,” but it fills everyone’s stomachs.

Feeding a family can be stressful, even tiresome. It’s hard to find the energy and creativity needed to cook healthy but simple family meals. It’s easy to fall into the “anything goes” mentality. When you’ve got a busy lifestyle, meals become more about survival and less about nutrition.

Here are 20 quick and healthy—but tasty—recipes followed by tips on making these family meals more nutritious. These recipes can help you have a healthy family meal on the table in an hour or less. Remember, swap ingredients out if someone in your family has dietary restrictions or if you avoid certain foods.

1. Mini Meatloaves With Green Beans and Potatoes

    These miniature meatloaves come together quickly and cook faster, too. You can have a family favorite on the table, paired with seasoned potatoes and fresh green beans, in just 40 minutes.

    Get the recipe here.

    2. One-Pan Chicken Parmesan Pasta

      This classic will taste like you spent hours cooking, but the preparation and clean-up couldn’t be quicker. One-pot cooking makes this dish practical, while fresh basil, parmesan, and garlic add a special touch.

      To try this recipe, go here.

      3. Sheet-Pan Chicken Fajitas

        Skip the restaurant and make fajitas at home. The ingredients go on one sheet pan, meaning you won’t spend all night cleaning. Zesty chicken, bell peppers, and warm tortillas can be on the table in 40 minutes. Add sour cream, salsa, guacamole, lettuce, diced tomato, and any other favorite toppings.

        Check out the recipe here.

        4. Philly Cheese Steak Stuffed Peppers

          Lose the carbs but keep the cheesesteak flavors with this quick family meal. Kids will love the pepper “bowls,” and you’ll love giving them a meal full of veggies and protein to keep them healthy.

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          Try it tonight. Get the recipe here.

          5. Chipotle Chicken Quinoa Burrito Bowl

            This veggie-packed meal adds an extra boost by using the superfood quinoa instead of rice. Flavorful yet simple, this meal makes an excellent packable lunch or dinner for your whole family.

            Find the recipe here.

            6. Spinach and Chicken Skillet With Lemon and Parmesan

              The complex flavors of lemon and parmesan come together nicely in this gourmet-like dish, but you don’t have to exert the effort or spend as much as a gourmet meal.

              Get the recipe for this dish here.

              7. Oven-Fried Fish and Chips

                Fish and chips can also sometimes be healthy as evident in this oven-fried version. You won’t miss the calories with this favorite family meal.

                You can find the recipe here.

                8. Pineapple-Teriyaki Chicken

                  Tangy pineapple and sweet teriyaki will have everyone coming back for seconds. Frozen vegetables make this simple family dish even easier to make and enjoy.

                  Find the recipe here.

                  9. Mozzarella, Basil, and Zucchini Frittata

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                    This egg dish is usually served for breakfast, but a frittata can make a fantastic dinner, too. High in protein, packed with zucchini, and delicious, there’s no reason to wait until morning.

                    Try it tonight. Get the recipe here.

                    10. Chicken and Sweet Potato Grill Packets

                      Skip the pans and throw everything into foil with this fun family recipe. Kids will love loading ingredients into their pack, and you’ll love its versatility and simplicity.

                      The recipe for this meal can be found here.

                      11. Chicken and Spanish “Rice”

                        Cauliflower takes the place of rice in this low-carb family meal, but it’s so flavorful and filling, no one will miss it.

                        Find the recipe here.

                        12. Honey Chicken Stir Fry

                          This honey chicken stir fry is the healthier version of a restaurant favorite that can be served up quicker than you can order it.

                          Find the recipe here.

                          13. Chicken Skewers With Tzatziki

                            Greek chicken and tzatziki sauce will have you yearning for the Mediterranean, but you can make this recipe at home for your family to enjoy.

                            This easy recipe can be found here.

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                            14. Healthy Walking Tacos

                              Traditional walking tacos are a party favorite, but they’re not usually healthy. However, this recipe keeps it fun while making it more nutritious.

                              Find out how to make it here.

                              15. Slow-Cooker Chicken Noodle Soup

                                This classic comfort meal can be ready when you walk in the door. All you have to do is add noodles, and it’s ready to serve.

                                The recipe can be found here.

                                16. Cheesy Chicken and Rice Casserole

                                  This usually takes a little over an hour, but the preparation time is only 30 minutes. You’ll love how easy it is, and the cheesy rice is sure to please.

                                  Find the recipe here.

                                  17. Crockpot Rotisserie-Style Chicken

                                    Skip the checkout line and have a rotisserie-style chicken ready at home. A staple in many quick meals, you might find this family meal recipe among your most-used.

                                    Get the recipe for this flavorful chicken here.

                                    18. Santa Monica Street Tacos

                                      Named after a simple taco found on the streets of California, you’ll be surprised that something with only a few ingredients can be so flavorful. Your kids will surely enjoy them.

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                                      Find the recipe here.

                                      19. Pizza Pasta Salad

                                        Enjoy the flavor of pizza without the hassle of making a crust. Use a fun pasta shape to make this even more appealing to your family, especially kids.

                                        Try it tonight. Get the recipe here.

                                        20. Slow-Cooker Lasagna Soup

                                          Everyone loves lasagna, but it can be time-consuming and messy to make. However, this soup version has the taste you want but with the ease of a crockpot.

                                          Get the recipe here.

                                          Bonus: 3 Simple Ways to Make Meals Healthier

                                          Eating healthy doesn’t have to take a lot of money, time, or thought. Any improvements are a big step in the right direction.

                                          Here are three easy ways you can make meals healthier for your family.

                                          1. Lose the Sugar

                                          Are you looking to improve your health? Cut processed sugars from your diet—the more, the better, and that includes artificial sweeteners.[1] Why? Studies show that sugar increases the risks for weight gain, heart disease, acne, type-2 diabetes, depression, cancer, fatty liver disease, cellular aging, and low energy levels.[2]

                                          2. Avoid Highly Processed Foods

                                          Many processed foods are fine to eat. Even fresh fruit and vegetables go through some processing to stay fresh longer. However, highly processed foods have added salt, sweeteners, saturated fats, preservatives, and artificial colors. These types of food have been linked to heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.[3]

                                          3. Replace Simple Carbs for Complex Carbs

                                          Lowering daily carbs can do wonders for your health. Studies show that low-carb diets lead to lower insulin levels, lower bad cholesterol levels, visceral fat loss, weight loss, reduced appetite, and can be therapeutic for many brain disorders.[4]

                                          When eating carbs, choose complex carbs over simple carbs. Simple carbs, such as white flour, rice, and degermed cornmeal, lack nutrients and spike blood sugar levels. Complex carbs, such as sweet potato, brown rice, and oats, are usually more nutritious and aren’t digested as quickly, giving more sustained energy and less of an insulin spike.[5]

                                          Enjoy Family Meals With Less Stress!

                                          Dinner can be enjoyable again now that you’re armed with simple and nutritious recipes for your family. These healthy and tasty family meal recipes can help you feel even better about what you serve. Best of all, you’ll have the extra time and energy you saved from cooking and spend more time with your family.

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                                          More Healthy Eating Tips

                                          Featured photo credit: Jimmy Dean via unsplash.com

                                          Reference

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