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4 Ways To Identify An Emotional Bully

4 Ways To Identify An Emotional Bully

Have you ever been Emotionally Bullied? Or are you being emotionally bullied? Are you an emotional bully? If so where does this behavior stem from? Is it in your DNA?

Some people are bullied by family members, so-called friends, or coworkers. It is important to identify where such behavior comes from, it can be your surroundings, family, environment, or from life experiences. Emotional bullying does not only affect children as most people like to think, but adults too. In fact, most adults are either emotional bullies or have been subjected to being emotionally bullied at some point. Examples of being emotionally bullied includes talking viciously about people behind their backs, spreading rumors, and gossiping. An emotional bully will attempt to coerce someone else into doing what they want by emotionally distressing them.

The main message of this article will be to help you identify whether you are being emotionally bullied or if you are one. Being able to identify this will put you in tune with your authentic self. The real you. Not the you who others see on the outside but not your inner core. It is important to know the effects of being emotionally bullied and how to ignite the desire to make some changes to your life and relationships.

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Here are four ways to identify if you are an emotional bully or a victim of emotional bullying:

1. Manipulation 

Do you often find yourself in a situation where you feel as if you are being intimidated into doing something you don’t necessarily want to do? Yet you find it hard to say no.

Consider this scenario: Your partner throws a tantrum every time they do not get their way – there is drama drama drama, until you finally give in and do what they want. Sounds familiar?

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What is the result: You slowly lose your self-respect and feel outnumbered, sad, and alone.

2. Unreasonable Expectations

You may have people in your life who have high expectations for you. This can be a good thing – even a motivator. However, when expectations become so unreasonable, that nothing you ever do is good enough, then you might be being emotionally bullied.

What is the result: You feel constantly criticized, helpless and powerless. At the end of the day, you feel awful and defeated because you are in a no-win situation.

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3. The Blame Game

An emotional bully will often blame everyone but themselves for their problems. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.Emotional bullying of this nature involves the bully playing the victim and trying to deflect blame to you (the target) rather than taking personal responsibility for their actions.

What is the result: You start to question yourself and character as a person. You begin to find fault in your morals and values.

4. Silent Epidemic

When I say silent epidemic, I am referring to those being emotionally bullied in the workplace and not speaking out about it. We all have bad days and may show up at work grumpy or in a bad mood. A co-worker or your boss might even snap at you.

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The easiest way to identify if you are dealing with being emotionally  bullied is noticing if the behaviour is something that happens again and again. The style of workplace bullying is different for men and women. Women are generally more subtle than men are. Women are better at reading emotions, so they’re good at little digs that most men wouldn’t even register: the quick glare, or turning away and talking to someone else.

Now you know how to identify it. And how to deal with it? Self awareness, justification, acceptance is the key.

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Sheri Leinfellner

Lifestyle, Self-Improvement & Travel Blogging

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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