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4 Ways To Identify An Emotional Bully

4 Ways To Identify An Emotional Bully

Have you ever been Emotionally Bullied? Or are you being emotionally bullied? Are you an emotional bully? If so where does this behavior stem from? Is it in your DNA?

Some people are bullied by family members, so-called friends, or coworkers. It is important to identify where such behavior comes from, it can be your surroundings, family, environment, or from life experiences. Emotional bullying does not only affect children as most people like to think, but adults too. In fact, most adults are either emotional bullies or have been subjected to being emotionally bullied at some point. Examples of being emotionally bullied includes talking viciously about people behind their backs, spreading rumors, and gossiping. An emotional bully will attempt to coerce someone else into doing what they want by emotionally distressing them.

The main message of this article will be to help you identify whether you are being emotionally bullied or if you are one. Being able to identify this will put you in tune with your authentic self. The real you. Not the you who others see on the outside but not your inner core. It is important to know the effects of being emotionally bullied and how to ignite the desire to make some changes to your life and relationships.

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Here are four ways to identify if you are an emotional bully or a victim of emotional bullying:

1. Manipulation 

Do you often find yourself in a situation where you feel as if you are being intimidated into doing something you don’t necessarily want to do? Yet you find it hard to say no.

Consider this scenario: Your partner throws a tantrum every time they do not get their way – there is drama drama drama, until you finally give in and do what they want. Sounds familiar?

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What is the result: You slowly lose your self-respect and feel outnumbered, sad, and alone.

2. Unreasonable Expectations

You may have people in your life who have high expectations for you. This can be a good thing – even a motivator. However, when expectations become so unreasonable, that nothing you ever do is good enough, then you might be being emotionally bullied.

What is the result: You feel constantly criticized, helpless and powerless. At the end of the day, you feel awful and defeated because you are in a no-win situation.

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3. The Blame Game

An emotional bully will often blame everyone but themselves for their problems. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.Emotional bullying of this nature involves the bully playing the victim and trying to deflect blame to you (the target) rather than taking personal responsibility for their actions.

What is the result: You start to question yourself and character as a person. You begin to find fault in your morals and values.

4. Silent Epidemic

When I say silent epidemic, I am referring to those being emotionally bullied in the workplace and not speaking out about it. We all have bad days and may show up at work grumpy or in a bad mood. A co-worker or your boss might even snap at you.

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The easiest way to identify if you are dealing with being emotionally  bullied is noticing if the behaviour is something that happens again and again. The style of workplace bullying is different for men and women. Women are generally more subtle than men are. Women are better at reading emotions, so they’re good at little digs that most men wouldn’t even register: the quick glare, or turning away and talking to someone else.

Now you know how to identify it. And how to deal with it? Self awareness, justification, acceptance is the key.

More by this author

Sheri Leinfellner

Lifestyle, Self-Improvement & Travel Blogging

5 PROVEN REASONS WHY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FAIL How To Stop Emotional Abuse And Communicate Effectively How To Stop Emotional Abuse And Communicate Effectively emotionally bullied 4 Ways To Identify An Emotional Bully

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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