“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” — Sydney J. Harris
At one time or another, we all face stress. While stress comes in different forms, it is a part of our lives. Many times when we think of stress, we tend to give it a negative connotation. But, wouldn’t it be helpful if we stopped fighting stress so much and actually used it to thrive in life? You know, give it a positive spin.
Well, here are 6 ways to use stress to your advantage:Advertising
1. Choose to have a positive attitude.
Let go of negative emotions and past mistakes. Allowing these things into your life on a regular basis will zap you of your energy and cause you to waste many mental hours holding on to them. Clean up messes, get help if you need it, and anchor yourself to some good cause.
Daniela Kaufer, associate professor at UC Berkeley did some research on the differences between good stress and bad stress. When it comes to ensuring, stress is beneficial rather than harmful, she said, “If you tend to have a positive attitude—a self-confident sense that you can get through a rough period—you’re more likely to have a healthy response than if you perceive stress as catastrophic.”
2. Embrace a new perspective.
Sometimes, we need to see our lives and our relationships differently. Stress is the perfect path to take to do that. Get a change of scenery, improve yourself, open your mind up to new opportunities. Start seeing things differently, and that burdened feeling you’ve got may just go away.Advertising
3. Learn to let go.
You were never meant to be in control of the world. The world will roll right on even if you take a break and even if you go on vacation and even if you drop off the face of the earth. Stress will make you take that break you really need if you let it. Release your grip on the steering wheel of life and free yourself to be out of control sometimes.
On the flip side, stress can make your life interesting at times. Dr. John Whyte, vice president of Discovery Channel’s Health and Medical Education, stated, “Challenges like asking someone out on a first date, facing and conquering a known fear, interacting with people you’ve never met, even learning something completely new — These may not immediately come to mind when you think of stressors — and maybe that’s because of the positive outcomes that come from them — but they’re the types that can help you achieve fulfillment, health, and happiness.”
4. Focus on certain aspects.
If you’re dealing with a big problem that is impossible to solve all at once, then don’t try to solve it all at once. Focus on one aspect at a time and deal with it little by little. Stress drains your energy and enthusiasm for work and creativity. Even if you’re not dealing with a problem, but a really big project. Take time to break it up and focus all in on one thing at a time.Advertising
5. Get good sleep.
So many things to do and so little time to do it in, so we sleep less and hustle more. That’s what we tend to do, but we shouldn’t. We’re not superhuman and we need a good night (or day, in some cases) of pure old sleep. Proper rest will give your mind and body time to clear out the negative vibes and prepare you to face the world brilliantly.
A 2013 survey of stress in the lives of Americans shows that most adults reported they were sleeping 6.7 hours each night, less than the 7 to 9 hours recommended. Additionally, many see their stress level increase when the quality and length of sleep decreases.
6. Share. Talk. Open up.
Stress can make us feel burnt out. When we’re burnt out, we really need to talk to someone, not curl up in a hole and cry. Share with someone close to you the things you’re dealing with. Opening up to a partner or close friend will help you clarify your problem, see things from a different point of view, and realize opportunities that may have been there all along, but you just didn’t see them.Advertising
UCLA psychology researchers found that men and women respond differently to stress. While men would tend to retire to their offices at work, women would tend to come together for lunch or just to talk. Surprisingly, they found through animal and human research, that while estrogen in women increases oxytocin, testosterone in men impedes it, thus allowing stress to increase compassion, sensitivity, and understanding in females.
Some stress is bad. But mostly, stress is good for us if we choose to make it our buddy and not our archenemy. When we’re not just coping with our stress, but actively working through our stress, we set ourselves up to thrive. And when we thrive, well, everyone is happy.
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
— William James
Featured photo credit: aaayyymm eeelectriik / Flickr via flickr.com
Last Updated on August 13, 2018
5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship
Making love can be simultaneously the most pleasurable and the most stressful experience that we share with another human being. It is a natural conclusion of the ritual of intimacy we engage in with a person we find attractive on both a physical and psychological level. Yet, we are far removed from our animalistic roots, and that which was once a matter of instinct has become somewhat complex. This is a good thing; we have grown as a society, and there are many factors involved when it comes to the relationship between sexual partners. However, we have also lost a great deal of the physical prowess our primitive ancestors had.
They engaged in a huge amount of physical activities daily — activities that ensured their cardiovascular system and muscles were in great shape, which allowed them to have healthy libidos, strong erections, and the muscular strength, limberness and endurance to maintain different positions for a long time without getting exhausted. Luckily, we can regain some of these animalistic traits with the right kind of training. Here are some essential exercises that will help improve your relationship, but making you more confident in intimate settings, which means that you’ll have more satisfying intercourse.
1. Cardio for Stamina
If you’re out of shape, the first thing you’ll notice during intercourse is that you start to breathe heavily, sweat profusely and tire easily. This means you’ll have to shift your posture frequently and limit yourself to a few positions you feel comfortable with or significantly slow down the pace. A high BMI has also been linked to potential problems with erectile dysfunction. Cardiovascular exercises like running, jumping rope, swimming and cycling will build up your aerobic stamina and enable you to perform longer before becoming fatigued, thus having better intercourse. They’ll also help manage your weight, possibly helping performance.
- Running – 10-20 minutes a day (1-3 miles a day is more than enough)
- Jumping rope – 5-20 minutes a day
- Swimming – 30 minutes a day
- Cycling – 30 minutes a day
The time in minutes denotes time spent actively performing the exercise, and you need to factor in a bit more time for warming up before and cooling down after the exercises.
These exercises can be performed every day or every other day, and the goal is to work on both endurance and speed. Don’t just go at a snail’s pace; constantly try to improve your time or add some mileage.
2. Strength-Training for Your Lower Body and Core
The next thing you’ll need to focus on is improving both the strength and muscular endurance of the hip flexors, abdominals and spinal erectors. These are the muscles engaged in thrusting and circular motions, and they also stabilize your body in a number of different positions. The legs also play an important role, particularly in standing and kneeling positions. Here are a few exercises that will help you strengthen up this area:
- Heavy barbell squats – set up at a power rack at the gym and make sure you use proper form and weights that you can lift 3-8 times. Do this exercise before anything else in the gym for 4-5 sets to get big and powerful legs, as well as tighten up the muscles of the core. This is useful for both men and women, particularly if you enjoy the woman-on-top positions and standing positions. You can do hack squats on the machine if your gym lacks a power rack, but you won’t get the core-strengthening benefits
- Zercher squats – this type of squat is a perfect way for guys to strengthen their body for standing positions where the woman is lifted off the ground. Build up a foundation of strength first, and then use lighter weights and go for 10-12 repetitions to focus on muscle endurance.
- Glute bridge – this exercise is great for working the glutes and hip thrusters, and should be done for ultra-high reps —up to 100 — to increase muscle endurance. Once you become stronger in this movement, you can upgrade to the barbell glute bridge and keep the reps high — around 10 to 15.
- Hyperextensions – excellent for strengthening the spinal erectors, this exercise (or a variation of it) may be done in most gyms and even at home. Do 2 to 3 sets of 10 to 12 repetitions at the end of your workout.
- Ab wheel rollout – this is a great exercise for strengthening the abs, and requires only a piece of inexpensive equipment. It will help you stay stable and hold positions longer without getting tired during intercourse. Do three sets of this workout for as many repetitions as you can.
- Cross body crunch – this exercise improves your ability to perform explosive twisting motions, particularly good for improving your stamina in the spoon position where you’e lying on your side. Do 2 to 3 sets of this exercise at the end of your workout.
Incorporate these exercises into your routine 2 to 3 times a week.
3. Upper-Body Strength Training
Upper-body strength plays an important role in many popular sex positions where the arms are used to provide a stable base or hold onto the partner. These including missionary, doggy style, the stand and carry (with the woman holding onto the man’s neck) and others. Use these simple exercises to improve upper body strength and endurance:
- Plank – while bench pressing is great for building a big chest, you will find yourself in need of static strength, muscle endurance and a strong core. This exercise is a great way to increase the amount of time you are able to hold positions that require you to support yourself with your arms. For added difficulty, straighten out your arms like at the top of a pushup and hold as long as you can.
- Close pushups – a pushup variation that focuses on triceps, which are the first to give out during a prolonged missionary or similar position. Go for very high reps, 20 t0 50, to work on muscle endurance.
- Chin-ups – A great upper back and biceps builder, this exercise will also target the core if you try to be as straight as possible when lifting yourself up. You can jump to help make things easier, or just hold as long as you can if you aren’t strong enough to perform a single chin up. Do 3 to 4 sets for as many reps as you can.
These exercises, done about three times a week, will help you develop a strong upper body that can keep going and hold you up for extended periods of time.
4. Pelvic-Floor Exercises
You don’t have to perform these at the gym, although you could do them after your workout without anyone even noticing. The idea behind Kegel exercises is to improve blood flow to the sex organs and strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor in both men and women. By locating these muscles and tightening and relaxing them for intervals of 5 seconds for 10 to 15 repetitions at a time, several times a day, you can improve pleasure and performance during sex. Women can tighten their vaginal walls for increased pleasure to both them and their partner, while men can delay ejaculation by tightening these muscles.
5. Flexibility Moves for Legs and Hips
If you want to avoid getting cramps — or even worse, pulling a muscle during intercourse — you should do a few simple stretches every day. The more limber you are, the more comfortable you’ll be with more exotic poses. Here are a few simple stretches to improve hip and leg flexibility:
Take a few minutes to warm up with some light running or jumping jacks before stretching, and spend some 10 minutes on these stretches. You can do them in the morning and at night, or shortly before intercourse.
With just a few hours a week devoted to exercise, you can improve your relationship significantly. If you focus on these exercises, over time, you just might become dynamite in bed.