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Why Alone Time Is What You Should Not Escape From

Why Alone Time Is What You Should Not Escape From

Though spending time alone is often deemed anti-social or synonymous with loneliness, many of us see spending time alone as a way of recuperating, re-energising and a necessary part of our day. If you’re more introverted, being in the presence of others for long periods of time can be quite draining. Even as an extrovert maybe you just want to escape to a lone corner and read that book you’ve been dying to finish.

While socialising is an important part of human nature, there are countless reasons why spending time by yourself is a great experience and an asset to your mindset, perspective and happiness in life. If you love to be by yourself and cherish your alone time then don’t feel that, in doing so, you are in any way deemed far from normal. The relationship we have with ourselves is just as important as the ones we have with others. Here are 8 amazing benefits of being alone and spending that all-important time with ourselves.

1. You Learn Things About Yourself

One of the best things you gain from spending time by yourself is getting to know yourself better. The problem with constant socialising, interacting and being around others is that we never truly stop and learn about ourselves. By spending time alone, we start to understand our own perspective without the influence of others. We can even discover many of our weaknesses and correct them to better ourselves.

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Sometimes we need the space to figure out who we really are and what we really want out of life, which can be hard to do if we’re bombarded by other people’s opinions and ideals that get in the way of our own.

2. It Helps You Appreciate What You Have

Being immersed in your own world away from others, allows you to appreciate the things you have in your life whether it’s material possessions or even people. You become more aware of the things in your life that many people take for granted. You actually use the stuff you’ve spent money on more often. Taking time away from your loved ones can also give you a sense of gratitude towards them.This gives you a stronger relationship when you do next spend time with them.

3. You Become More Focused

This doesn’t just mean focusing on yourself, but also focusing on your tasks. We can sometimes get carried away with the action without thinking about why we take these actions or what we are trying to achieve. Being by yourself can help hone in on what you are doing without distraction or pressure from others.

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4. You Become Less Dependent On Others

Independence is a major benefit of spending time alone. The constant need to be around people comes from the fear that you’ll be lonely without them. This really is just running away from some aspect of yourself that you don’t want to look at or acknowledge. We don’t need as much interaction as our society deems the right amount to be. Most of the time socialising is just a distraction from the fear of loneliness which only exists in the mind.

By spending time alone with yourself, you learn to depend only on yourself and harbour your own perspectives and beliefs needed to make your own, unique journey in this world.

5. Makes You More Efficient

A lot of people waste time finding ways to fill their day. While some of these activities can be meaningful, a lot of the time, they just exist to fill in gaps that can be used more efficiently. When we’re alone, the lessening of interaction causes us to do more of what needs to get done. Being comfortable with spending time alone with yourself makes you realise the unnecessary things you do to distract yourself, thus enabling you to eliminate the excess clutter from your life.

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6. You Slow Down And Become More Mindful

Spending time with others causes us to rush around living busy lives. While this can be beneficial, it takes away our awareness of the present moment. Our brains need a break from all the interaction and information that it processes on a daily basis. We need to create a space where we can be more mindful of what we’re doing and what is around us.

Mindfulness plays a huge role in our happiness, so it’s important to take time out and really be present in the moment, connecting with ourselves and the world around us. Being alone allows us to do this by slowing down and being more aware of life and our place in it. Sitting by ourselves in a quiet place can be a great opportunity to get into a meditative state, which doesn’t have to involve mediation, but activities such as walking, writing, creating something or reading that allows your mind to slow down and focus.

7. Allows You To Live A More Simple Life

Our modern society means we are often overwhelmed by expectations and this leads us to do things we feel we should do, want to do or need to do resulting in a sense of bewilderment, feelings of lack and even avoidance issues. By being alone we can savour a more simple life away from excess daily societal pressures. This means more time to become who we want to be on our own terms and appreciate a life where we dismiss unnecessary additions to our already crowded lives.

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8. You Realise You’re Enough To Make Yourself Happy

There are many benefits of being alone, but the main one is realising and accepting that you are the number one reason for your happiness. You can only achieve this if you spend the necessary time understanding yourself. Know that you are enough in this world to make yourself happy. Happiness doesn’t exist outside of us – it comes from within and everything else is just an added extra. Spending time alone provides us with the space we need to depend on ourselves to create our own, unique happiness.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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