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Why Alone Time Is What You Should Not Escape From

Why Alone Time Is What You Should Not Escape From

Though spending time alone is often deemed anti-social or synonymous with loneliness, many of us see spending time alone as a way of recuperating, re-energising and a necessary part of our day. If you’re more introverted, being in the presence of others for long periods of time can be quite draining. Even as an extrovert maybe you just want to escape to a lone corner and read that book you’ve been dying to finish.

While socialising is an important part of human nature, there are countless reasons why spending time by yourself is a great experience and an asset to your mindset, perspective and happiness in life. If you love to be by yourself and cherish your alone time then don’t feel that, in doing so, you are in any way deemed far from normal. The relationship we have with ourselves is just as important as the ones we have with others. Here are 8 amazing benefits of being alone and spending that all-important time with ourselves.

1. You Learn Things About Yourself

One of the best things you gain from spending time by yourself is getting to know yourself better. The problem with constant socialising, interacting and being around others is that we never truly stop and learn about ourselves. By spending time alone, we start to understand our own perspective without the influence of others. We can even discover many of our weaknesses and correct them to better ourselves.

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Sometimes we need the space to figure out who we really are and what we really want out of life, which can be hard to do if we’re bombarded by other people’s opinions and ideals that get in the way of our own.

2. It Helps You Appreciate What You Have

Being immersed in your own world away from others, allows you to appreciate the things you have in your life whether it’s material possessions or even people. You become more aware of the things in your life that many people take for granted. You actually use the stuff you’ve spent money on more often. Taking time away from your loved ones can also give you a sense of gratitude towards them.This gives you a stronger relationship when you do next spend time with them.

3. You Become More Focused

This doesn’t just mean focusing on yourself, but also focusing on your tasks. We can sometimes get carried away with the action without thinking about why we take these actions or what we are trying to achieve. Being by yourself can help hone in on what you are doing without distraction or pressure from others.

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4. You Become Less Dependent On Others

Independence is a major benefit of spending time alone. The constant need to be around people comes from the fear that you’ll be lonely without them. This really is just running away from some aspect of yourself that you don’t want to look at or acknowledge. We don’t need as much interaction as our society deems the right amount to be. Most of the time socialising is just a distraction from the fear of loneliness which only exists in the mind.

By spending time alone with yourself, you learn to depend only on yourself and harbour your own perspectives and beliefs needed to make your own, unique journey in this world.

5. Makes You More Efficient

A lot of people waste time finding ways to fill their day. While some of these activities can be meaningful, a lot of the time, they just exist to fill in gaps that can be used more efficiently. When we’re alone, the lessening of interaction causes us to do more of what needs to get done. Being comfortable with spending time alone with yourself makes you realise the unnecessary things you do to distract yourself, thus enabling you to eliminate the excess clutter from your life.

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6. You Slow Down And Become More Mindful

Spending time with others causes us to rush around living busy lives. While this can be beneficial, it takes away our awareness of the present moment. Our brains need a break from all the interaction and information that it processes on a daily basis. We need to create a space where we can be more mindful of what we’re doing and what is around us.

Mindfulness plays a huge role in our happiness, so it’s important to take time out and really be present in the moment, connecting with ourselves and the world around us. Being alone allows us to do this by slowing down and being more aware of life and our place in it. Sitting by ourselves in a quiet place can be a great opportunity to get into a meditative state, which doesn’t have to involve mediation, but activities such as walking, writing, creating something or reading that allows your mind to slow down and focus.

7. Allows You To Live A More Simple Life

Our modern society means we are often overwhelmed by expectations and this leads us to do things we feel we should do, want to do or need to do resulting in a sense of bewilderment, feelings of lack and even avoidance issues. By being alone we can savour a more simple life away from excess daily societal pressures. This means more time to become who we want to be on our own terms and appreciate a life where we dismiss unnecessary additions to our already crowded lives.

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8. You Realise You’re Enough To Make Yourself Happy

There are many benefits of being alone, but the main one is realising and accepting that you are the number one reason for your happiness. You can only achieve this if you spend the necessary time understanding yourself. Know that you are enough in this world to make yourself happy. Happiness doesn’t exist outside of us – it comes from within and everything else is just an added extra. Spending time alone provides us with the space we need to depend on ourselves to create our own, unique happiness.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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