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8 Signs You’re Not Lonely Even Being Alone

8 Signs You’re Not Lonely Even Being Alone

Loneliness is often thought of as negative. It’s defined as depressive feelings of being alone with lack of companionship and support. While it can be isolating for many, there is a difference between being alone and loneliness. When people talk of being by themselves as primarily a negative situation to be in, do you find yourself thinking, “But I quite like being alone?”

“Extrovert” and “introvert” are two words that get thrown around when describing how much people enjoy social interactions, but it’s a lot more complex than that. There are people who love going out and socializing but equally enjoy sitting alone in a room and being by themselves. The human species needs social interaction to survive, which is why the negative concept of loneliness even exists in the first place. However, there’s great benefit to spending quality time on your own.

If you relish in your me time, you’ll identify with these 8 signs that you can be alone but not lonely.

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1. You Have No Fear Of Your True Self

Just like spending time with a person allows you to get to know them on several levels, spending a lot of time on your own lets you do the same with yourself. You aren’t afraid to come face to face with the person you are and you feel comfortable knowing your true self.

2. You Know How To Love Yourself

You understand what makes you a great person, as well as the concept that what you do in your alone time reflects back on you. Being by yourself gives you a sense of independence from others that shows you that you don’t need anything or anyone outside of yourself to make you feel loved. Ultimately, you learn that it’s paramount that you create a loving relationship with yourself.

3. You Realize Being Alone Is An Important Life Lesson

There are many ups and downs in life. There are some where we seek support from people and others where we find ourselves being alone. It’s these isolating times that truly show ourselves to ourselves. In other words, the time you spend alone prepares you immensely for the moments in life that call on you to deal with these (sometimes) lonely situations and allows you to cope with them much better.

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4. You Have Your Real Passions

Many people feel the need to fill in the gaps in their day with others. While social interaction is good for the soul, you would much rather use the time to do something you love. Having some me time allows you to indulge in your passions, like reading, watching a movie you love, or going for a run. You understand the opportunity that’s presented to you when no one is around. This allows you to fully immerse yourself in what you’re doing.

5. You Are A Courageous Adventurer

There are many people who wouldn’t even consider going off and doing things by themselves, like eating in a restaurant, going travelling, or taking a day trip somewhere. Relying on other people’s company limits the possibilities of trying new things, whether it’s the music concert you want to go to or movie that no one else wants to see.

You have no problem doing the things you love without the reliance of others being available. Your perspectives show a sense of confidence. Furthermore, you know going off by yourself takes away the insulation that comes from constantly being with a companion or group of people. This actually excites you because you can do what you want, when you want, and you’re safe in the knowledge that you’ll never miss out on experiences that make you happy.

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6. You Value Your Freedom And Independence

Freedom is a wonderful thing. Being able to do what you want without someone else’s approval (or dependency) brings you a deep sense of joy and appreciation. You understand that having the space to move freely allows you to stand on your own two feet without relying on others.

7. You Have A Strong Desire For Self-Improvement

As a result of spending time with yourself and finding out who you are (warts and all), you are more willing to search for ways to improve yourself. You are more likely to have identified which fears, anxieties, emotions, and perspectives that you feel could be dealt with and improved upon. Constantly spending time with people detracts from dealing and identifying with any areas of yourself that could do with a bit of work, whereas the time you’ve spent alone creates a space for you to go ahead and improve yourself for the better.

8. You Don’t Lie To Yourself

All of these points come together to create a mindset where you are realistic about the complexity of relationships. Many people tell themselves that spending most of their time with the perfect person is somehow beneficial, when really this causes problems such as clinginess and an inability to be without them. Being someone that knows the benefits of spending time alone, you already realize this. You are able to see your relationships with others in a realistic and mature way without lying to yourself that you constantly need to be with a particular person or group of people.

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Conclusion

Never feel put out by the quality time you spend with yourself. It really can be the best and most productive moments that help develop you into a wonderful, well-rounded, and confident person!

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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