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8 Signs You’re Not Lonely Even Being Alone

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8 Signs You’re Not Lonely Even Being Alone

Loneliness is often thought of as negative. It’s defined as depressive feelings of being alone with lack of companionship and support. While it can be isolating for many, there is a difference between being alone and loneliness. When people talk of being by themselves as primarily a negative situation to be in, do you find yourself thinking, “But I quite like being alone?”

“Extrovert” and “introvert” are two words that get thrown around when describing how much people enjoy social interactions, but it’s a lot more complex than that. There are people who love going out and socializing but equally enjoy sitting alone in a room and being by themselves. The human species needs social interaction to survive, which is why the negative concept of loneliness even exists in the first place. However, there’s great benefit to spending quality time on your own.

If you relish in your me time, you’ll identify with these 8 signs that you can be alone but not lonely.

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1. You Have No Fear Of Your True Self

Just like spending time with a person allows you to get to know them on several levels, spending a lot of time on your own lets you do the same with yourself. You aren’t afraid to come face to face with the person you are and you feel comfortable knowing your true self.

2. You Know How To Love Yourself

You understand what makes you a great person, as well as the concept that what you do in your alone time reflects back on you. Being by yourself gives you a sense of independence from others that shows you that you don’t need anything or anyone outside of yourself to make you feel loved. Ultimately, you learn that it’s paramount that you create a loving relationship with yourself.

3. You Realize Being Alone Is An Important Life Lesson

There are many ups and downs in life. There are some where we seek support from people and others where we find ourselves being alone. It’s these isolating times that truly show ourselves to ourselves. In other words, the time you spend alone prepares you immensely for the moments in life that call on you to deal with these (sometimes) lonely situations and allows you to cope with them much better.

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4. You Have Your Real Passions

Many people feel the need to fill in the gaps in their day with others. While social interaction is good for the soul, you would much rather use the time to do something you love. Having some me time allows you to indulge in your passions, like reading, watching a movie you love, or going for a run. You understand the opportunity that’s presented to you when no one is around. This allows you to fully immerse yourself in what you’re doing.

5. You Are A Courageous Adventurer

There are many people who wouldn’t even consider going off and doing things by themselves, like eating in a restaurant, going travelling, or taking a day trip somewhere. Relying on other people’s company limits the possibilities of trying new things, whether it’s the music concert you want to go to or movie that no one else wants to see.

You have no problem doing the things you love without the reliance of others being available. Your perspectives show a sense of confidence. Furthermore, you know going off by yourself takes away the insulation that comes from constantly being with a companion or group of people. This actually excites you because you can do what you want, when you want, and you’re safe in the knowledge that you’ll never miss out on experiences that make you happy.

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6. You Value Your Freedom And Independence

Freedom is a wonderful thing. Being able to do what you want without someone else’s approval (or dependency) brings you a deep sense of joy and appreciation. You understand that having the space to move freely allows you to stand on your own two feet without relying on others.

7. You Have A Strong Desire For Self-Improvement

As a result of spending time with yourself and finding out who you are (warts and all), you are more willing to search for ways to improve yourself. You are more likely to have identified which fears, anxieties, emotions, and perspectives that you feel could be dealt with and improved upon. Constantly spending time with people detracts from dealing and identifying with any areas of yourself that could do with a bit of work, whereas the time you’ve spent alone creates a space for you to go ahead and improve yourself for the better.

8. You Don’t Lie To Yourself

All of these points come together to create a mindset where you are realistic about the complexity of relationships. Many people tell themselves that spending most of their time with the perfect person is somehow beneficial, when really this causes problems such as clinginess and an inability to be without them. Being someone that knows the benefits of spending time alone, you already realize this. You are able to see your relationships with others in a realistic and mature way without lying to yourself that you constantly need to be with a particular person or group of people.

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Conclusion

Never feel put out by the quality time you spend with yourself. It really can be the best and most productive moments that help develop you into a wonderful, well-rounded, and confident person!

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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