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Science Says Cuddling Helps Curb Depression And Anxiety, Here’s Why

Science Says Cuddling Helps Curb Depression And Anxiety, Here’s Why

Cuddling, snuggling, and hugging: you wouldn’t think these actions could be linked to depression and anxiety, but recent studies have found that the simple act of cuddling can help people who suffer from these ailments. The reason for this is oxytocin, a hormone that your brain naturally releases into your system whenever you engage in cuddling, hugging, or physical intimacy. Scientists already know how oxytocin can make us feel, but recently they have been studying the effects this hormone can have on our behavior over time. For example, if you cuddle your baby enough, it may help to keep them from becoming depressed later on in life.

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    One of the studies on the effects of this “cuddle hormone” was published in the medical journal Psychoneuroendocrinology. This study involved two groups of people, one of which had been given oxytocin through a nasal spray. The study proved that oxytocin helped people overcome social rejection. However, a later study proved that receiving this hormone via nasal spray could lead to an increase in aggression. The best way to get anything is usually the natural way — in this case, by cuddling.

    How Does Cuddling Work?

    If you are suffering from depression or anxiety, cuddling will not only release oxytocin to help you feel better, it will also connect you to another human being, which is so important. One of the biggest challenges in treating people who battle depression and anxiety is isolation. It is the natural side effect of these diseases. When somone has an anxiety disorder or is depressed, the last thing they want to do is reach out for help, even though they know they need to. In fact, psychologists will tell you one of the telling signs that a loved one is depressed is how much they are isolating themselves. This can lead to wanting to sleep alone (they may say they are too tired, sore, have a headache, or their partner’s snoring is too loud). If you are depressed or have anxiety, do not get into the habit of sleeping alone. If you are not ready to talk to your partner about it, just tell them you are going through something and cuddling at night will help. Chances are they have already noticed something isn’t right and will be happy to be able to do something to help.

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      If you suspect your partner is dealing with depression and anxiety, they may say they just want to be alone, but the benefits of being held by someone who loves them outweigh the short-lived irritation they may express at your insistence. Cuddle up to your partner and hold them. You don’t even have to say anything — sometimes the act of cuddling can be all they need at this time.

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      What if You Live Alone?

      Cuddling will be a little harder for those who live alone. One of the best solutions to this is getting a pet. If you aren’t allergic to dog or cat hair, owning a pet has several benefits — especially for those who suffer from depression and anxiety. If you aren’t sure, ask your therapist about it and, unless you are an exception to the rule, it is guaranteed they will recommend a pet. Not only will they cuddle with you, they will give you unconditional love and a reason to get up in the morning. If you cannot own a pet for any reason, consider talking to a friend about borrowing theirs. You could take a dog for a walk each day and spend time petting and cuddling a bit with it afterwards or go to a friend’s house to spend some quality time with their cat so it doesn’t get too lonely while your friend is at work.

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        Another way to get more physical touch into your life is to talk to your close family and friends about what you are going through. This is a hard thing for anyone battling depression and anxiety to do, but opening up about it and asking for a hug will help. The act of hugging will also release oxtytocin. However, if you really aren’t at a place where you feel that you can open up to the people in your life, you can try telling your loved ones that you don’t think you hug them enough, that life is short and you would wish you’d hugged them more if anything ever happened. Institute a hugging policy with your loved ones and you will be able to hug them each time you part ways. Some people just aren’t “huggers,” but for the most part, your loved ones will appreciate the hugs.

        Featured photo credit: Bartashevich Karyna via shutterstock.com

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        Last Updated on February 15, 2019

        Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

        Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

        In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

        And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

        Why is goal setting important?

        1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

        Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

        For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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        Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

        After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

        So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

        2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

        The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

        The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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        We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

        What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

        3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

        We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

        Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

        But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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        What you truly want and need

        Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

        Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

        Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

        When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

        Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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        Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

        Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

        Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

        The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

        It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

        Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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