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5 Ways to Forget About The Past And Move On

5 Ways to Forget About The Past And Move On

People say it is very important to keep in mind things you’ve done in the past so that you can have an evidence for what your life turns out to be. I say history is nothing but history. What you have done in the past has absolutely no role to play in your future. We have all done things or been through situations that we are not so proud of or happy with, which is part of life.

I will be discussing 5 simple ways you can forget about the negative things that had occurred in the past and move in with life.

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1. Change your mindset

If your mind focuses on the negative things that had happened in the past, your life will move in a negative direction. Your life move in the direction of your dominant thoughts, so whatever you set your mind and focus on is what your life and emotions will follow. Instead of setting your focus and thinking about all the negative things that had occurred in the past, all the heartbreaks, all the things you’ve lost, all the not so proud of situations.

Start to recycle all those thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts like: “I am going to be great, I am very intelligent, my history is nothing but history, what is ahead of me is great, nothing will stand in my way, I will be successful, I will not let my past tie me down.” If you wake up every day thinking and saying things like that loud and boldly, then you are getting a hold of it. Before you know it, no one will be able to use your past against you because you are starting to actually let go.

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2. Cut off some friends

There are some friends that we keep that even we ourselves know deep down that they are doing nothing but slowing us down in life. It is not a crime to cut off friendships once you feel it is delaying your purpose in life. For you to occupy your focus with positivity, negative friends have to go. You need to set yourself apart so that you can be where you desire to be. You must stay away from friends that always remind you of the wrong things you’ve done in the past.

When I say set yourself apart, I mean tuning yourself completely out of what is going on around you and focus on yourself and your vision. Doing this can be very lonely; in fact it is a lonely situation, but that is just a price that you can afford to pay in order to be where you desire to be.

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3. Set goals for yourself

One of the most important ways you can forget about the negative things that had happened in the past is by setting goals for your future. You need to acknowledge the fact that it is not the end of the world and you have full potentials of achieving greater things in life. Start to imagine yourself doing big things in the future, going to school, getting that job of your dreams, starting new businesses, finding your soul mate, and more. Set both long and short tram goals, give yourself deadlines and follow up with your progress.

4. Learn to forgive

One of the things that kills us emotionally and mentally is the spirit of un-forgiveness. Holding a grudge against someone is like eating a poison and expecting someone else to die. We all do this thinking we are doing ourselves a favour, but it does nothing but break us down emotionally. The only way you can forget about the past is by forgiving whoever has done you wrong. It doesn’t matter how bad they have broken your heart, If you can look at them and say “I forgive you” with a smile (this can be hard), then you are releasing yourself from the cage you have locked yourself in. Replace the spirit of hate with love.

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5. Stop trying to impress people

Have you ever felt like no one understand you and why you make the decisions you make anymore? If your answer is yes, then it is because they don’t see what you see. You don’t owe anybody an explanation for doing what you feel like doing. You need to stop seeking approval from people and start giving notice whether they like it or not. You cannot please everyone; it is impossible.

Trying to please everyone does nothing but leads you into frustration. We all might have grown up thinking the best way to live our lives is by getting everyone to like who we are. It is just not possible; no matter how good of a person you are, there will always be people that just won’t like you for the sake of not liking you; which is also part of life.

Conclusion

You cannot move forward if you are still thinking about your past. Can you imagine a track athlete attempting to compete in a 100m dash with an heavy backpack? Yes, he’s most likely going to finish the race but he won’t finish it at the appointed time that he we was supposed to. Many of us are ready to run our race, we are ready to shoot for the stars, but there is one thing that we need to do first; we need to drop off that backpack full of shame, regrets, unhappiness, mistakes, failure, broken hearts, grudges etc. When you drop that backpack, I promise you that your race will be much easier to run in life.

Featured photo credit: Vetta Cash via hopeforwomenmag.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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