Advertising

8 Actions You Should Take If You Don’t Want To Ruin Your 30s

Advertising
8 Actions You Should Take If You Don’t Want To Ruin Your 30s

Do you want your 30s to be the same as your 20s? Your 20s are a great time to find yourself while taking risks and making great memories. However, most people want something more comfortable for their 30s. They want to have careers, stability, comfort, and maybe even a family.

Don’t let your 20s pass you by – check out 8 actions you should take now to make sure that your 30s are comfortable and stress-free.

Advertising

1. Advance your education

Many people in their 20s make the mistake of thinking that having a degree from a good university is enough to land a great job. However, this often isn’t the case and many students struggle to find work when they graduate. Consider joining clubs and taking online courses to create more options for your future.

2. Find your purpose

Many graduates are unsure about what they want to do for the rest of their lives, so they pick a safe career and hope that they will enjoy it enough to stick it out for life. However, lots of people regret this safe decision in their 30s when they have more bills and responsibilities.

Advertising

You have fewer responsibilities in your 20s, so it is the perfect time to take a risk and find a career that you really love. It may take you years, but when you find something you truly love, you will reap the rewards up until you retire.

3. Work on your personal relationships

After you finish your education, many friends will slip away as you focus on your career and new responsibilities. For your own emotional happiness, do not let this happen to all of your friends or you may feel lonely in your 30s. Some friendships can bring you joy for a whole lifetime, so make sure to stay in touch with people who mean a lot to you.

Advertising

4. Start saving for your 30s

Working full-time for the first time ever results in many people in their 20s developing expensive spending habits. Now is the time to kick that habit so that you can focus on saving for your future. As you get older, you will want more security so that you can buy your own home and car. If you struggle to save, think about your retirement – do you want it to be a time to relax, or a time to scrimp and save?

5. Spend time with your parents and your family

As you grow older, so do your parents and family. Don’t regret not spending enough time with them once they are gone. Instead, speak to them as often as you can while they are still here. Taking your loved ones for granted can result in guilt and despair – and no-one needs that stress in their life.

Advertising

6. Don’t look for a soul mate

Many young people follow the fantasy of having a soul mate, and they spend their 20s looking for a life partner instead of working on their careers and finances. This can slow down your career and make your future less bright. Instead of looking for your life partner, enjoy yourself and remember that you can’t speed up love – it happens when it happens.

7. Have fun

Your 20s may be over, but your happiness isn’t! See your friends, go on trips with your loved ones, laugh, and remember that the money that you earn has no value if you are unhappy. Your life is precious; enjoy it always.

Advertising

8. Start being healthy

Getting into good routines while you are young will help them to stick for life. Be healthy in as many ways as you can be by exercising and eating healthily. You only get one body – treat it right and it will reward you until you are old!

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future Daily Routine of Successful People That Will Inspire You to Achieve More Beginners’ Guide To HIIT: How To Choose The Best Moves For Your HIIT Workout Everything Is Going To Be Fine In The End. If It Isn’t Fine, It Isn’t The End. Feeling Trapped? Do These 9 Things to Take Your Life Back

Trending in Communication

1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

Advertising
10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

Advertising

But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

Advertising

Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next