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5 Ways to End the Year Right

5 Ways to End the Year Right

The end of the year can be bittersweet. It is dual in nature, a dying of the old and the beginning of something new. It can put our accomplishments and failures in sharp focus, and force us to reflect on how we’ve spent the year. For me, the transition from autumn to winter—the cold nip in the air descending into chill, the trees shedding their glorious heads of red and gold, the sunlight prematurely creeping into night—has always triggered re-evaluation, and lots and lots of mixed emotions. Are you struggling with year end blues? Here are five tips to help you kiss 2015 goodbye and greet 2016 with a huge smile.

1. Go ahead, look back.

Say it with me and Socrates: “An unexamined life is not worth living.” It’s healthy to sit down and take stock of events and choices that led us to where we are in life at this particular moment in time. Was there anything you could have done better? Are there self-destructive habits you need to let go of? When we look back, we not only take time to acknowledge our actions and learn from them; it also helps us notice certain situations, people, or patterns that may no longer serve us.

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.” (C.S. Lewis)

“It’s okay to look back at the past. Just don’t stare.” (Benjamin Dover)

2. Highlight the successes.

Though looking for ways to improve is a good thing, there is nothing wrong with giving ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done. Perhaps you were able to lock down the apartment of your dreams this year. Or finally got around to starting a small savings account or investment fund. Maybe you quit smoking or stuck to your gym regimen. No matter how trivial it may seem, personal successes and accomplishments are worth toasting to. So clink, clink!

“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.” (Anne Sweeney)

“Celebrate your success and find humor in your failures.” (Sam Walton)

3. Forgive yourself.

This piece of advice is something I constantly have to remind myself to practice. I am my worst critic. It’s so easy to beat ourselves up for our so-called failures. So maybe you didn’t get the promotion you were expecting. Or maybe you feel like you didn’t work hard enough to achieve your goals. Perhaps a relationship you put so much energy in ended. Sometimes, we can be so kind to other people but so hard on ourselves. We are all perfectly flawed. And we have to love and forgive ourselves despite our faults and flaws in the same way that we love and forgive others in spite of their imperfections.

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.” (Oprah Winfrey)

“Detach from needing to have things work out a certain way. The universe is perfect and there are no failures. Give yourself the gift of detaching from your worries and trust that everything is happening perfectly.” (Orin)

4. Give thanks.

Make a list of everything you are thankful for this year. Gather friends and family ’round the table, and let them know how lucky you feel to have them in your life. The habit of thankfulness is like a muscle that needs to be exercised. The more we focus on what we’re grateful for in life, the more we notice the abundance of blessings around us.

“Happiness isn’t about getting what you want all the time. It’s about loving what you have and being grateful for it.” (Asher Roth)

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but a parent of all the others.” (Cicero)

5. Celebrate!

Lastly, get those dancing shoes on and shake that booty on the dance floor! You are alive here and now, and the future is blazing in front of you. Shake it to the left for the 365 days you lived in 2015. Shake it to the right for the 365 days of newness up ahead. Let 2015 go and open your heart wide wide wide for all the loving, learning, and living that’s in store for you this new year!

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

“Live life like everything is rigged in your favor.” (Rumi)

Featured photo credit: Sunrise in Calgary/davebloggs007 via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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