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Pregnancy At Week 17

Pregnancy At Week 17

What Vegetable Is My Baby The Size Of At Week 17?

Your baby is now the size of a turnip — that is, about 5 inches and 5 ounces. Wow, compared to where we started, that baby is really growing!

What Are The Changes My Baby Has Going On?

They can move their joints and their sweat glands are starting to develop. Aww, your sweet little baby is going to have stinky sweat some day!

What Changes Is Mom Going Through?

At this point, you might start to feel off-balance. As your baby belly starts to grow, your center of gravity is going to change a little. While you adjust to this, you might feel a little bit clumsy. Try to avoid doing things that might result in injury — you know, like walking on stilts. Some women feel more comfortable switching to low-heeled shoes at this point. A fall could result in harm done, and the stakes are a little higher now that you’re carrying a baby along with you.

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When you are buckling your seatbelt upon getting into your car, make sure the lap belt goes underneath the belly and the shoulder part should go between your breasts.

For some reason, some women find their eyes are drier during this time. Over-the-counter drops for lubrication should do the trick. If you wear contacts, giving your eyes a longer break might be helpful.

What Are Your Dreams Telling You?

Have some doozy dreams lately? That happens a lot for women during pregnancy.

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Some interesting facts: During pregnancy, you spend less time in REM sleep (the time when you dream), so it’s interesting that women have more dream activity. It’s hypothesized that this may be due to the frequent waking. It allows you to remember your dreams better. Therefore, you aren’t necessarily having more dreams or crazier dreams, but you are waking up so frequently during them that you are actually able to recall them. Things that may be causing those disturbances in the ol’ sleeping patterns include having to pee, backaches, heartburn, leg cramps, and legs that are restless. Also, it’s guessed that the emotions are so heightened during this time that your dreams may be reflecting this as well.

Below are some dream scenarios that are outlined by Patricia Garfield in her book Women’s Bodies Women’s Dreams.

Caring for baby animals: Friendly critters in your dreams, like fluffy chicks, kittens, and puppies, might signify that you are tuning into your motherly instincts. Less-friendly critters might represent some hesitation about the new phase of your life. Both seem about equally normal for what’s going on.

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Sexy time with an ex: You may be worried about your sex life after the baby comes, or you may be feeling sexy with the changes happening in your body. There is some comfort and reassurance in these dreams for you concerning your changing body. The ex is less important in the dream as a person — it’s more like you are returning to a time when you really felt you were desirable.

Cheating significant other: You may be worried about holding the attention of your mate. You might fear losing some of the attention and love that you are used to. This could be something to discuss with your partner if this seems likely. The relationship will likely change after the baby, but there will be a new sense of normal and a new love that develops.

Activities To Try At Week 17

Try making a baby name list. Make a list of 10 names that you like and see if your partner will list 10 that they like. Trade lists and “X” out the ones you cannot live with. Then, watch the debates begin. You might discover how many people you know that are jerks once you start crossing off names because you “knew someone one time that had that name and they were pretty rude.” Some people have rules, like no names of former girlfriends or boyfriends. It’s probably not a good idea to use the name of household pets, simply to avoid confusion. Now would be a fun time to discuss that and see what will work for you and your partner.

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Another activity to try is to keep a dream journal and record the craziest dreams that you have had. This could be interesting later on to see if you got the gender of the baby correct in your dream or if there was some other detail you dreamed that your baby had after it was born. Did the baby have blonde curls and blue eyes? Or green eyes and brown hair?

For more information about this and other weeks of pregnancy, please go to this website. Also, look into the forums there to connect to other moms (or soon-to-be moms!).

Featured photo credit: Phalinn Ooi via creativecommons.org

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

Reference

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