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20 Reasons Why You Still Want Him/Her

20 Reasons Why You Still Want Him/Her

We have probably all been through this …seems like it is just part of life: the relationship breakup! You can’t get him out of your head even though the physical and verbal “goodbyes” were said. You hold onto all of the beautiful parts of your past partner even though you know it’s over. Why the inner struggle? Because it’s probably pretty fresh and whether you were the one to conclude the relationship or not, there are heartfelt, good memories and feelings which still remain.

Or perhaps you weren’t even in a relationship, but you dated a super girl who you just can’t get your mind off. Maybe she is just part of your fantasy or maybe you felt the bonding “glue” but she didn’t. Nonetheless, your mind replays those parts of her look, feel, words, touch, smell or her charisma as if she were the ONLY one for you.

Or even better, maybe you are currently in a fantastic relationship and thoughts of him/her seem to always come to the forefront. Whether you are in romantic love, lust, or deep attachment, your mind is fixated on this individual and all of the good reasons why you want to remain and nurture your relationship.

The BIG question: Why do you linger on thoughts of wanting him? Why do thoughts of her keep popping into your head when you least expect it? Those “I still want him/her” thoughts are there to remind you of memories you created together and shared, to help you to resolve emotional challenges you must work through, or often to fill a place (in your heart) of what you desire, love and behold.

While there may be plenty of personal reasons, unique to your own situation, here are the Top 20 which seem to hit at the heart and soul of why most of us still want him/her:

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1. She totally understands you.

She knows your moods, your likes/dislikes, values and idiosyncrasies. While she may not LOVE them all, she understands them and will accept all of them as part of who you are.

2. He makes you laugh until you cry.

He has a certain way about his laughter. You connect with his humorous side no matter how weird or silly it could be at times. He uses humor to diffuse a potentially awkward situation, to lighten your spirits or to just watch you laugh and enjoy the moment. He can bring you to a serious belly laugh in minutes, which eventually leads to wonderfully happy tears!

3. We have great intimacy together.

Ah yes….the intimacy part. Yes, you both have THAT! The sex is not only super great 95% of the time, but you feel so closely connected that its not just a physical act, but feels like a true commitment of your souls intertwining.

4. She is kind, caring and always willing to give of herself to others.

Well, there are many kind people in the world, but she gives unconditionally. She gives not to “get” nor to “receive” but because it is truly part of her nature to show compassion and kindness. She has an uncanny ability to detect when others are in need, much beyond their physical appearance or spoken words.

5. He keeps you grounded when your life seems disheveled.

Oh heck…life can get so crazy sometimes, but he has a way of soothing you and helping you to get back to your more grounded self. He senses when you are out of balance, stressed and can gently guide you back to calm. The best part is, he does this so naturally and it helps you to settle back into your “calmer” self.

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6. We have similar values for family, life, happiness, and purpose.

We gel in those ways: values, family life, and purpose. We may have differing opinions on many subjects, but when it comes to the “foundation”, we are the cement.

7. She inspires you to grow, expand and be a better person/soul.

Sometimes you just get stuck. But she is always  your mentor and helps you to understand the reasons why. She knows that you can only grow by learning and expanding yourself. She reminds you that to be your best self, you need to grow, change, improve and be flexible.

8. He is someone you can count on. He always has your back.

When times seems most challenging, he is there for you. He won’t always try to fix things, but will offer his ideas on possible solutions which truly come from a place of experience and heart. If you need him in times of sadness, challenge, grief, or frustration, he will be his best soldier and cover you.

9. Her smile says it all.

Her smile: not phony but authentic. Her glowing smile shows most when you are doing something way too crazy (and she calls you out), when she knows you are having an unbelievably good time (and she chimes in on your happiness), when she secretly notices your heart is melting for some kind reason (and her heart melts too), when she hasn’t seen you in awhile and her ear-to-ear grin (with beautiful dimples attached) says “hello, I have missed you” better than words could ever.

10. He appreciates you for who you are today, not for who you can become tomorrow.

He knows you today, but also fuels your aspirations for change. And with that being said, he understands that this is a journey of change for you, and loves all the parts of you that are here, in the present. He supports the qualities you desire to change about yourself, but he does it all without pressure!

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11. Whatever we do, it is always so much fun.

We always have fun together. No stress. No drama. Whether we dine out with family/friends or are just laid back “people watching” or hanging out, we embrace the time together. It’s relaxed. There is never pressure to try to have fun. Fun creates itself. It’s simple. It’s easy. It’s so enjoyable.

12. She can comfortably hang with anyone.

She has no social nor socioeconomic barriers. She learns from and feels comfortable with anyone–from all walks of life. No pretense. Whether we are at a private corporate event or a simple casual night out with friends, she connects with others and they are attracted to her authenticity. She is the real deal.

13. She can laugh at herself.

She can make a major faux pas and pass it off as her own invaluable lesson. She laughs (sometimes out loud) at her own blunders as if to say, “it’s okay, I’m human, and that’s NOT the worst of things..”  She doesn’t take life so seriously and has a much greater, beautiful vision of her role in the world.

14. He lives life passionately and embraces the moment.

He is a good decision-maker but will live in this moment and indirectly teaches you how to be better at doing the same. His encouragement to try new experiences and live life to its fullest inspires you to tip your toes into new waters. His joie de vivre is soulful and his encouragement helps you to expand your life’s perspective.

15. He is family centered.

He greatly values his family and holds it “front and center.”  He works hard to be a good leader, provider and mentor for his children. He has undying love for them and his dedication is unwavering.

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16. She is not afraid to be vulnerable.

She will reveal her deepest desires and feelings. She is not afraid to let you see her inner self. She may be silly, amorous, sensual, provocative, daring, or downright daunting, but whatever she is, she will “let it all hang out”. That vulnerability allows you to see who she really is. Vulnerability requires her great courage.

17. We love new experiences together.

Whether it’s traveling outside of our bubble, dining at an offbeat, quaint, homegrown restaurant, practicing archery, checking out the museum’s latest exhibit, or attending the Harley Road Rally, we love it all together. We enjoy experiencing the exciting experiences of life! It thrills us. It motivates us. It expands us. And its always super fun!

18. She knows “quiet”  and when you need it most.

Some of us need quiet time more than others. She knows how you need “quiet” and when you need it most. She allows you your time to be alone, to do what you love and love what you do. It’s your time to unwind, relax, recoup, and restore. Its what your mind, body and spirit need. Not everyone understands a person’s need for alone time…solitude. She does. She gets it. She honors it.

19. He revels in your physical beauty (when you may not be feeling so lovely).

He always sees a beautiful physical quality about you…your deep set eyes, curvy hips, tousled brunette curls, or kissable toes. Even when you really are not up to shining your best self in the mirror, he always seems to discover something amazingly attractive about you. Truly special.

20. We always feel joy spending time with our children.

Spending time with our children and watching the small souls we created together brings us nothing less than joy. The children bind us for life in myriad ways.

Whether you have been through a recent breakup (and miss him dearly), are fixated on your latest, hottest date with her, or truly love him to death in your committed relationship, there are plenty of reasons why you still want him/her in your life. Spend time with all of these reasons. Which are most important and which do you hold closely? Which are wonderful but you may need to let go of? Understand the “why” behind every reason…..the reasons why you still want him/her.

Featured photo credit: Yogendra Joshi via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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