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17 Signs You Are Stepping Towards Success Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

17 Signs You Are Stepping Towards Success Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

Not sure if you’re on the right curve along the road to success?

There are lots of times when all of us feel that success is far from our reach. We feel that we’re struggling to make progress even though we’ve put in the effort. That’s okay. Be happy about the things you’ve already accomplished and show patience for what you have yet to achieve.

Quickly put behind you the things that weren’t successful. In other words, smile at your successes every day. Then push forward.

Check out these 17 signs that will prove that you certainly are on the road to success.

1.  You’re facing your fears and winning.

Previously, you froze when you started moving outside of your comfort zone. You were frightened you might fail. However, now that you have taken many small steps, it’s not as terrifying as you expected. You know that in order to be successful, you must push through your fears, and that’s just what you’re doing. You’re facing those fears head on. This is definitely is a sign of success.

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2.  You’ve accepted that failure is part of self growth – and that’s positive.

To you, failure is the jumping off point for having another go, but maybe changing your tactics to adjust would fair better. Your “I accept that failures are part of success” attitude has enabled you to use your creativity to solve problems and jump hurdles. Each setback is a new opportunity to start afresh. You have made a choice between letting failure hold you back, and viewing failure as a positive part of your journey. Well done!

3.  You believe in the power of focusing on today.

This has been a difficult concept to deal with, but eventually you accepted that your real life is happening right now. Your focus is on the present and on what you can do and create today. Yesterday is in the past and can’t be altered. The moment you start worrying about tomorrow or about an annoyance from yesterday, precious moments are lost that could have brought a boost to yourself or others.

4.  You realize that you can’t please everyone all the time.

What a huge step towards success was taken when you stopped trying to please everyone. You’ve found that some people just can’t be pleased, no matter what. You’ve found that there’s more than one way to do something. You do what you believe is right for you, and whatever works best. You’ve filled your life with people who really matter to you.

5.  You accentuate the positive thoughts in your mind.

It’s not easy to accentuate the positive because our minds are wandering from the past to the future throughout every waking moment. Replacing the negative with positive thoughts is only achieved through practise. You’ve found that having positive thoughts results in a calmer attitude, particularly when handling difficulties. You are also becoming competent at silencing your inner critic (who can be very harsh).

6.  You’ve stopped judging and blaming others.

At last, you’ve escaped from the habit of blaming other people for whatever happens to you. You know how to step back from the situation. You look at it from a different angle in order to find a creative solution. You’ve found you are calmer when you’re less judgmental. It’s easier to criticize, but instead you try to understand the other person’s point of view. This is an impressive step forward toward being successful.

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7.  You’ve started pursuing the things you’re passionate about.

You’ve made some changes so you can pursue your passion. That means you get up every day excited about working towards the day’s mini-goals. You have special talents and skills that enable you to contribute to the world and benefit others. You’re keen to use these skills to the best of your ability. You know you can do that only if you’re pursuing your passion.

8.  You take time to be grateful every day.

You’ve found that one great way to move towards success is to be grateful. As you wake up, you think of 5 things that you are grateful for. You also smile about things that are going well in your life. Again at night, you’re grateful for 5 things that went well during the day. You ask yourself, “In what ways was I successful today?” Being grateful helps you concentrate on positives.

9.  You avoid busyness and focus on effectiveness.

It’s easy to fill your day with being busy without achieving anything. If this pattern is repeated, it can lead to frustration and the feeling that success just isn’t within your grasp and never will be. So, you avoid busyness, focusing on making progress instead, little by little. You feel excited about what you’re achieving. You can see that you’re productive, efficient, and effective. It is this, and not busyness, that is your way to success.

10. You set yourself a goal to achieve every day.

You know that drifting along doesn’t lead to success, so you start each day with a plan. You have a clear list of jobs you’ll accomplish to move you closer to your vision. While you have wider goals for the future, you set yourself mini-goals for each week and each day. You know how you intend to reach your goals. Your vision is a vivid picture that dances in your mind.

11. You try to see positives in each setback or difficulty.

There’s a positive hidden in each setback or difficulty. Now, you look for those positives. No longer do you focus on the setbacks themselves, as you did in the past. You see beyond to the good things that accompany negative circumstances. You even get excited about obstacles because of the positive outcomes that can result. Obstacles can lead to places you never dreamed of.

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12. You’ve acknowledged that you don’t need to be perfect.

Some of the stress has been removed from your life, now that you’ve stopped striving for perfection. Actually, you have learned to accept yourself the way you are – vibrant and competent. You believe in yourself. You make mistakes just like all of us. You look at mistakes as “life’s little lessons” that make you a stronger person. A better version of yourself emerges from the mistakes and propels you forward.

13. You are aware that building self-confidence is a key to success.

Feeling confident gives calmness and sets people up for success. You have worked at becoming more confident and that is commendable. Confidence is a skill to acquire, if you are traveling the road to success. The key to becoming confident is to repeat a particular technique until you can do it comfortably. You’ll fail at the start (of course), but getting up and trying again is part of the process.

14. You give away smiles regularly – it’s a habit.

You smile at people you pass on the street. You toss a coin to buskers and make them smile. You send emails or text messages, praising friends for something they’ve accomplished. Sometimes you do it just because they are who they are. Smiling makes you calmer and happier inside. This attitude shines bright enough to influence others.

15. You’ve built up a support group of family and friends.

You’ve had to let go of some people who, in the past, dragged you down by making you stressed or anxious. Letting go is very difficult to do. It’s a huge step you’ve taken towards success, though. Instead, you have a support group of family and friends with whom you can laugh, discuss, confide, and plan. They love you for the wonderful person you are.

16. You’re doing what you want to do in life because you are in control.

Following your own path, and really enjoying the journey, is a sure-fire way to be successful. You don’t let other people’s opinions stop you from moving towards your dream. You feel empowered and in control of where you’re going. You’re comfortable with this situation.

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17. You consistently factor recreational activities into your routines.

You’re well on the way to success when you timetable exercise and recreational activities into your day. Taking time for yourself is essential in order to relax the mind and body before returning to the work environment. Go to the gym, run, play golf, meet friends for a chat and coffee, or do any other activity that you enjoy. It will recharge your batteries. You’ll feel refreshed, particularly if you do something outdoors.

Things aren’t as bad as you think, after all.

So, you ARE succeeding in life, aren’t you?

It’s okay if you’re not saying “yes” to all seventeen signs of success. Even if you acknowledge one of them, that’s a start. Be happy that you’ve started on the success journey, now go add another… and another.

Success is not a place you travel to, but a part of every day. Success takes effort and persistence. Appreciate your small achievements. Always focus on the positive things in your life.

Yes, you are stepping towards success, even when you don’t feel that you are.

Now, just keep going.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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