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Attitudes Of Truly Happy People That You Can Learn

Attitudes Of Truly Happy People That You Can Learn

Without realizing it, you may be inviting a serious threat to your happiness into your psyche every day.

Unchecked, it could take hold of your upbeat mood and plunge it into darkness.

I’m talking about social media.

A double-edged sword if ever there was one, social media gives us connection with one hand and takes away contentment with the other. We hold up our lives in comparison to these sanitized images and needlessly find our own lives wanting.

To keep a cheerful perspective, it’s important to remember that nothing on social media is ever the whole story, that the messy and chaotic part of life is usually hidden from public view.

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For instance, that joyful photo of your friend with her new baby won’t reveal that she’s suffering from postpartum depression, and the photos of your coworker’s active social life won’t reveal his painfully low self-esteem.

Comparing your life to others’ lives is always risky. But to compare it to the “photoshopped” version of others’ lives is downright dangerous and could sink you into a funk for no good reason at all.

It’s time to do a reality check. Below are 16 signs that genuinely happy people can’t help but show. You might very well be happier than you think you are.

1.  Happy people celebrate others’ success

The concept of degrading others in order to elevate themselves is not in their repertoire. In fact, watching the people they care about succeed lightens their mood. Happy people like seeing other people happy.

2.  They use a variety of coping strategies when they’re stressed out

Whether it’s calling a friend, writing in a journal, going for a walk, hitting the gym or simply meditating, they have more than one tool in their stress-relief toolbox.

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3.  They are content with what they have right now

The Buddha teaches that wanting is the source of all suffering. Happy people are able to accept their lives as they are in this moment. They might wish for something, they might be striving to obtain something, but if that something never materialized, they know they’d be fine without it.

4.  They problem solve instead of worry

Worry is a gerbil wheel—it requires lots of energy but gets us nowhere fast. Positive, happy people feel empowered to effect change; they may still feel the fear, but it galvanizes them to action.

5.  They forgive easily, especially themselves

They don’t spend time berating themselves or others for normal screw-ups. Happy people are able to feel compassion; they can see the big picture and understand human frailties.

6.  Happy people sleep well

That gerbil wheel of worry is quiet, and their bodies are centered; they are able to fall asleep naturally. Good sleep is not only a sign of happiness—it’s also critically important to becoming happy. Sleep is so crucial to health and happiness, it should be everyone’s #1 priority (with a special dispensation for new parents, who should be napping every chance they get!) Only when we’re deep asleep does the “sanitation crew” come out and do all the daily maintenance and clean up, invigorating us for the next day.

7.  They laugh easily

Laughter flows effortlessly out of them when they see a child giggling uncontrollably or when someone makes an especially ironic observation. They are able to experience spontaneous moments of joy.

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8.  They hang out with other happy people

They have a circle of predominantly happy friends. Gone are the whiners, the critics, and the cynics. In their place are optimists and enthusiasts—people who love life and nourish their optimism.

9.  They truly and deeply love someone

It doesn’t matter who—it can be a child, a grandchild, a lover, a parent, a best friend from high school—but whoever it is, they genuinely love and accept that person. Happy people gladly take the risk of being vulnerable that comes from loving someone with their whole heart.

10.  They’re looking forward to something specific

We’re not just talking a cruise or tickets to a Broadway play. Happy people look forward to all kinds of smaller events, too, like the sound and smell of brewing a fresh pot of coffee every morning, a dinner date with an old friend, or just having a whole day to binge watch a favorite show. Having a positive sense of future is the hallmark of a happy person.

11.  Happy people are able to smile, even when they’re alone

No social mores at play here, no one to win over. Just a private moment of pleasure. Happy people can feel joy even when there is no one else around.

12.  They have a sense of satisfaction from something in their lives

Maybe it’s something they wrote, created, painted, or constructed. Maybe it’s the success they’re having within their business, family, or studies. Or maybe they tackled and survived a major health issue. Whatever it is, it brings them a lasting sense of satisfaction—a sense that they have done something they’re proud of. Happy people take stock in their accomplishments without guilt or shame.

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13.  They frequently experience gratitude

This is not just being able to see the gifts they’ve been given in life—housing, clean water, a working brain, life itself, and so on. It’s also seeing the infinite ways in which things could have gone horribly wrong in their world, but didn’t, and being grateful for having been spared. Because of this, they have a rare sense of perspective that keeps them grounded.

14.  They rarely get angry at small stuff

They pick their battles. They get angry over injustice or violence or narcissism, but not at a waiter who has forgotten their water.

15.  Happy people are rarely bored

Happy people have both energy and curiosity. They have little trouble finding ways of engaging their brain, body, and spirit in the world around them.

16.  They take care of their bodies

People who have a positive outlook on life take care of the vessel that carries their soul. Even if they’re not the picture of health, they haven’t given up and deserted their bodies. They might be in pain or have a chronic illness, but they still care about their health and do things that support their own version of wellness.

So, the next time you want to catch up with friends and family via social media, take a moment to ground yourself before logging in. Think through all of the signs that prove you really are happier than you think. It’ll help you keep the social media blitzkrieg in perspective.

Featured photo credit: Profile of a Couple of Man and Woman Breathing Deep at Sunset via 123rf.com

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Last Updated on August 13, 2018

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

Making love can be simultaneously the most pleasurable and the most stressful experience that we share with another human being. It is a natural conclusion of the ritual of intimacy we engage in with a person we find attractive on both a physical and psychological level. Yet, we are far removed from our animalistic roots, and that which was once a matter of instinct has become somewhat complex. This is a good thing; we have grown as a society, and there are many factors involved when it comes to the relationship between sexual partners. However, we have also lost a great deal of the physical prowess our primitive ancestors had.

They engaged in a huge amount of physical activities daily — activities that ensured their cardiovascular system and muscles were in great shape, which allowed them to have healthy libidos, strong erections, and the muscular strength, limberness and endurance to maintain different positions for a long time without getting exhausted. Luckily, we can regain some of these animalistic traits with the right kind of training. Here are some essential exercises that will help improve your relationship, but making you more confident in intimate settings, which means that you’ll have more satisfying intercourse.

Don Juan

    1. Cardio for Stamina

    If you’re out of shape, the first thing you’ll notice during intercourse is that you start to breathe heavily, sweat profusely and tire easily. This means you’ll have to shift your posture frequently and limit yourself to a few positions you feel comfortable with or significantly slow down the pace. A high BMI has also been linked to potential problems with erectile dysfunction. Cardiovascular exercises like running, jumping rope, swimming and cycling will build up your aerobic stamina and enable you to perform longer before becoming fatigued, thus having better intercourse. They’ll also help manage your weight, possibly helping performance.

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    Triathlon symbol
      • Running – 10-20 minutes a day (1-3 miles a day is more than enough)
      • Jumping rope – 5-20 minutes a day
      • Swimming – 30 minutes a day
      • Cycling – 30 minutes a day

      The time in minutes denotes time spent actively performing the exercise, and you need to factor in a bit more time for warming up before and cooling down after the exercises.

      These exercises can be performed every day or every other day, and the goal is to work on both endurance and speed. Don’t just go at a snail’s pace; constantly try to improve your time or add some mileage.

      2. Strength-Training for Your Lower Body and Core

      The next thing you’ll need to focus on is improving both the strength and muscular endurance of the hip flexors, abdominals and spinal erectors. These are the muscles engaged in thrusting and circular motions, and they also stabilize your body in a number of different positions. The legs also play an important role, particularly in standing and kneeling positions. Here are a few exercises that will help you strengthen up this area:

      Barbell squats
        • Heavy barbell squats – set up at a power rack at the gym and make sure you use proper form and weights that you can lift 3-8 times. Do this exercise before anything else in the gym for 4-5 sets to get big and powerful legs, as well as tighten up the muscles of the core. This is useful for both men and women, particularly if you enjoy the woman-on-top positions and standing positions. You can do hack squats on the machine if your gym lacks a power rack, but you won’t get the core-strengthening benefits

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        Zercher squat
          • Zercher squatsthis type of squat is a perfect way for guys to strengthen their body for standing positions where the woman is lifted off the ground. Build up a foundation of strength first, and then use lighter weights and go for 10-12 repetitions to focus on muscle endurance.

          Glute bridge
            • Glute bridgethis exercise is great for working the glutes and hip thrusters, and should be done for ultra-high reps —up to 100 — to increase muscle endurance. Once you become stronger in this movement, you can upgrade to the barbell glute bridge and keep the reps high — around 10 to 15.

            Hyperextensions
              • Hyperextensions – excellent for strengthening the spinal erectors, this exercise (or a variation of it) may be done in most gyms and even at home. Do 2 to 3 sets of 10 to 12 repetitions at the end of your workout.

              Ab wheel rollout
                • Ab wheel rollout – this is a great exercise for strengthening the abs, and requires only a piece of inexpensive equipment. It will help you stay stable and hold positions longer without getting tired during intercourse. Do three sets of this workout for as many repetitions as you can.

                Cross body crunch
                  • Cross body crunchthis exercise improves your ability to perform explosive twisting motions, particularly good for improving your stamina in the spoon position where you’e lying on your side. Do 2 to 3 sets of this exercise at the end of your workout.

                  Incorporate these exercises into your routine 2 to 3 times a week.

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                  3. Upper-Body Strength Training

                  Upper-body strength plays an important role in many popular sex positions where the arms are used to provide a stable base or hold onto the partner. These including missionary, doggy style, the stand and carry (with the woman holding onto the man’s neck) and others. Use these simple exercises to improve upper body strength and endurance:

                  Plank exercise
                    • Plank – while bench pressing is great for building a big chest, you will find yourself in need of static strength, muscle endurance and a strong core. This exercise is a great way to increase the amount of time you are able to hold positions that require you to support yourself with your arms. For added difficulty, straighten out your arms like at the top of a pushup and hold as long as you can.

                    Close grip pushups
                      • Close pushups – a pushup variation that focuses on triceps, which are the first to give out during a prolonged missionary or similar position. Go for very high reps, 20 t0 50, to work on muscle endurance.

                      Chin ups
                        • Chin-ups – A great upper back and biceps builder, this exercise will also target the core if you try to be as straight as possible when lifting yourself up. You can jump to help make things easier, or just hold as long as you can if you aren’t strong enough to perform a single chin up. Do 3 to 4 sets for as many reps as you can.

                        These exercises, done about three times a week, will help you develop a strong upper body that can keep going and hold you up for extended periods of time.

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                        4. Pelvic-Floor Exercises

                        You don’t have to perform these at the gym, although you could do them after your workout without anyone even noticing. The idea behind Kegel exercises is to improve blood flow to the sex organs and strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor in both men and women. By locating these muscles and tightening and relaxing them for intervals of 5 seconds for 10 to 15 repetitions at a time, several times a day, you can improve pleasure and performance during sex. Women can tighten their vaginal walls for increased pleasure to both them and their partner, while men can delay ejaculation by tightening these muscles.

                        5. Flexibility Moves for Legs and Hips

                        Lion stretching

                          If you want to avoid getting cramps — or even worse, pulling a muscle during intercourse — you should do a few simple stretches every day. The more limber you are, the more comfortable you’ll be with more exotic poses. Here are a few simple stretches to improve hip and leg flexibility:

                          Take a few minutes to warm up with some light running or jumping jacks before stretching, and spend some 10 minutes on these stretches. You can do them in the morning and at night, or shortly before intercourse.

                          With just a few hours a week devoted to exercise, you can improve your relationship significantly. If you focus on these exercises, over time, you just might become dynamite in bed.

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