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12 Amazing Ways We Seem To Stumble Onto Happiness

12 Amazing Ways We Seem To Stumble Onto Happiness

What makes you happy? Not what you think makes you happy — what truly makes you happy?

I asked myself that question, and I was amazed with how hard it was to come up with an answer immediately. I had to think about it seriously.

Unfortunately, many of us think of things and people when asked what makes us happy but, in fact, they don’t. Those are the things we think make us happy. We think of answers that sound good, but aren’t actually true.

Most of us are overthinkers. We try to analyze and overthink everything. We often forget to listen to that soft inner voice. That ever-present voice that always seem to have the right answers, but yet, we seldom listen to.

That soft voice that seem to be able to block out the noise, distractions, and other nonsensical things going on around us and get to the heart of the matter.

We all want to be happy, and many of us frankly have been searching in every little crevice and corner of our life, trying to find happiness. Some of us have traveled the world over, engaging in happiness seminars, happiness camps, reading happiness blogs and books. Yet, all we find are someone’s perception of what happiness is, and we are left high and dry.

The reason we try so hard to find happiness is because somehow we believe that happiness is something we find, and so we constantly search, hoping that one day we will accidentally bump into it.

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Happiness is always around us, and all we have to do is open our hearts and minds to receive it. We cannot find happiness because it was never lost.

Below are 12 of the many ways you often stumble onto happiness.

1. You stumble onto happiness when you are overtaken with sudden joy.

You suddenly realize that this moment is all you have, and it instantly becomes precious, and for some reason you just become happy.

Something happens in your life, and it’s joyous and amazing and suddenly you realize how happy you are.

This could be the birth of a child or just meeting someone you haven’t seen in years, and all the great memories rush over you and for that moment you realize you are happy. That moment you are overcome with happiness and joy.

2. You stumble onto happiness when you realize how blessed you are.

The things you have taken for granted are brought before you, and you instantly see how much you have to be grateful for. You have taken things for granted, not realizing that there are others worst off than you. You complain about your life and in an instant things change and you realize you are blessed.

You could be walking down the street, and you see someone in need and realize that this could have been you. You then suddenly realize how blessed you are, because you have more than enough. You are overcome with happiness.

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3. You stumble onto happiness when you realize how much you are loved.

You have been with the same partner for a while and, like anything else, it becomes routine. You do the same things over and over again, and things become normal.

Then, you hear of someone getting a divorce and in that instant you are awoken by the gravity of how loved you are. At that moment, you become happy and emotional because you realize you have been happy all this time.

4. You stumble onto happiness when you realize that your children are safe from harm.

You sometimes think you haven’t been happy since your children were born. You were happy then. Here they are now — bundles of energy, and they get on your nerves and mess things up and you become tired and overworked.

Then, you take a moment just to sit and think and you realize your precious children are safe, secure and healthy, and you are overcome with happiness. You realize that you have been happy all along.

5. You stumble onto happiness when you realize you are happy with who you are.

You have struggled to find yourself and to know who you are for years. During your search, you realize that you are happy with who you are. All this time you’ve wasted trying to be someone else, and suddenly you realize that you are indeed very special. You are now happy in your skin. You were happy all along, but never knew it.

6. You stumble onto happiness when you realize how much you have to give.

You have never thought of helping or giving to any cause because you never thought you had anything to offer.

You decide to lend a helping hand to someone else and, low and below, you realize that you indeed have more to offer than you thought. You can, in fact, contribute to someone else’s life. You are happy because you now know you are more than enough.

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7. You stumble onto happiness when you realize how kind you are.

You are busy with your life, and you do things for people, not always taking the things you do seriously. Then, one day someone sends you a thank you note for being kind, and you realize for the first time in a long time that you are indeed happy because you have the power of kindness.

8. You stumble onto happiness when you realize that you are patient.

You have been impatient — running from left to right for some time and not slowing down. You become agitated with everything that gets in your way.

Then, one day you are driving down the street, and someone needs to cross. Even though you are busy and late, you decide to allow them to pass. You now realize you can be patient, and it’s a great feeling. You are happy, even if for that split second, and it feels good.

9. You stumble onto happiness when you realize you are healthy.

You take your health for granted, not paying particular attention to your body until one day you hear of someone who is very ill. You realize that you have every reason to be happy because you are in great health. You have been happy all along, but never took the time to notice.

10. You stumble onto happiness when you realize you are safe.

You watch the news, and it suddenly dawns on you that you can go to bed without fear. There aren’t bombs dropping in your neighborhood, and you take a deep breath and realize you are happy. You are happy because you feel safe.

11. You stumble onto happiness when you realize that you are lucky to have a job.

You go to work every day and go through the routine without much thought. You might even complain about the job and your boss.

You run into someone who isn’t so lucky and you realize you are happy. In spite of all that is happening with the job, you are happy. You can pay your bills, you can support yourself, and that makes you happy.

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12. You stumble onto happiness when you realize how much you have to be happy for.

You can always find something to be happy for. This list is endless, and if you take the time to look into your life, you will find so many reasons to be happy.

Many times, the simple path to being happy begins with you realizing that happiness is nothing to be found. It is a decision you make anytime you want to.

Do not allow yourself to keep stumbling into happiness. Start being happy every minute of the day, because happiness is everywhere in your life — you only have to decide that you want to be happy.

It takes nothing for you to be happy but for you to make that choice.

Featured photo credit: Mother and Children/Gagilas via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

More Inspiration About Motivation

Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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