Advertising
Advertising

Scientists Find People Who Are Closer To Their Grandparents Are Happier In Life

Scientists Find People Who Are Closer To Their Grandparents Are Happier In Life

A remarkable American study at Bringham Young University finds that grandparents are very important with respect to the role they play in their grandchildren’s lives. The report makes it clear that they play a key role in the happiness of their grandchildren. Author Jeremy Yorgasun, assistant professor in The School of Family Life, says:

“The emotional relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren can significantly affect the children’s academic, psychological, and social development.

Grandparents matter above and beyond parents, they are an important resource.”

A total of 408 fifth grade children were asked a variety of questions about their relationships with their grandparents. These questions were designed to measure how close they were to each other, among other things. The children were asked questions on a number of topics; for example, their likelihood to seek advice or support from their grandparent. To create a comparison, the questions were followed up a year later.

“We wanted to see how grandparents matter to children, so we asked a number of questions related to emotional closeness to grandparents.”

– Yorgason

The study found that when grandparents are more involved in their grandkids lives, the kids tend to be more social, and also more engaged in school activities. They were more likely to develop pro-social skills, which is vitally important for their social development. Things like showing compassion for others was noted as evident among this group.

According to the study, income is not a factor in these close bonds between grandparent and grandkid. Not only that, but it is also of little consequence whether or not the family is a one-parent or two-parent family.

It did find; however, that grandparents who live with their grandchildren are not quite as close to them as those who don’t live with their grandkids. This is probably because the grandparent who resides with the children plays a role in discipline, while the others don’t. Grandparents who are non-resident are also more likely to promote positive development than those who live with their grandkids.

Advertising

“Grandkids can find secure allies in grandparents – grandparents are like the national guard, if there is a problem they come in and help out.”

– Yorgason

The Importance of Grandparents

Today, the importance of grandparents couldn’t be more true, with increasing numbers of busy working families and single parent families. Grandparents who get involved in these circumstances fill a major void in the lives of their grandkids.

Advertising

Anthropologist Margaret Mead said that connections between the generations are “essential for the mental health and stability of a nation.”

The love between grandparents and their grandkids is a special love – one you can’t get any other place. This love is unconditional. There is no providing, and no discipline to worry about. There is just time to enjoy each other and have fun. Many kids will opt to go to their elder relatives for the holidays since it’s so much fun.

Why it’s Important to Form this Bond

  • Children get a sense of who they are. They know their roots and they get a fuller perspective on life.
  • Children develop higher self-esteem, as well as better social and emotional skills.
  • Children feel special. It’s not really spoiling, as they don’t expect this treatment from everyone.
  • Children learn new skills and hobbies from their grandparents.
  • Children have someone to talk to and confide in.
  • Children get all of the attention they need.

Conclusion

This study has also brought us to a deeper understanding of the benefits for grandparents. While children benefit enormously from this relationship, grandparents also get the opportunity to form close bonds with their special grandkids. Furthermore, they have the chance to leave behind a legacy through their grandkids. Best of all, grandparents are lucky enough to feel cherished and loved in their final years.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Monkey Business Images via shutterstock.com

More by this author

How To Discipline Your Kids Using Words 21 Little Things Every Parent Can Do To Make Kids Really Feel Loved What Do Kids Think About Love? Pregnancy At Week 31 Researchers Discover Devastating Results of Childhood Bullying

Trending in Communication

1 5 Things to Do If You Don’t Want to Get Back to Work 2 Take Back Control of your Life with Positive Emotions 3 Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again 4 I Don’t Know What to Do With My Life! 5 Steps to Get Unstuck 5 This Is How Mentally Strong People Deal With Guilt

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

Advertising

The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

Advertising

Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

    Advertising

    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next